Ultimate Domme fail !!!

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Kadira, Oct 7, 2019.

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  1. Kadira
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    Kadira
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    #26 Kadira, Oct 14, 2019
    Sadly he HAS told me what he’d like and we did draw up a contract and I personally am the one who didn’t follow it. I read it, followed a few things at times but very rarely. At times I’d be good at it and then assumed I got it and then got too comfortable in doing nothing and let it fizzle again.

    Believe he did more than his share of the giving and i greedily took it but barely offered the rewards to go with it. So like I said the Ultimate Domme Fail. Domme-huh!- that’s funny considering I am far from one. A good one wouldn’t treat her husband/sub in the manner I have.

    CBT, TD, see but don’t touch.....none of those are an option right now as this is far more than a bad day. There is distance and distrust that need to be fixed first and that is a much bigger mountain for me to climb. But I built it and I’ll be damned if I don’t break it down.


    Thanks anyways but it is my doing and I realize that and know it!
     
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  2. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    #27 buildup, Oct 14, 2019
    Increasingly looks like a complicated situation; though I can't help but think you are being hard on yourself. I hope things greatly improve for you
     
  3. Kadira
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    Kadira
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    #28 Kadira, Oct 15, 2019
    Thank you. I hope so too.
     
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  4. El Modino
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    El Modino Active member

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    #29 El Modino, Oct 15, 2019
    I wish you the best of luck and hope you can communicate through this.
     
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  5. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    #30 Bonobo, Oct 18, 2019
    I am Kadira’s husband, Kadira is a very strong women but she was keeping something buried something she has never shared with me.

    For years I have been telling her she has built a wall around herself and I can’t break through it unless she lets me. This has been extremely frustrating for me and it finally boiled over on Saturday. We talked for about 5 hours and I would not allow her to make excuses and I called her on the ever moving target that has burdened our intimacy. And Saturday night she opened up and allowed me into that part of her life, she finally took down the wall that she has spent years reinforcing and she will be ever stronger for it.

    We will conquer this bump in the road and will have a stronger marriage because of it. Communication is extremely important in a marriage and the lack of it was dragging ours down. With all the information on the table healing is much easier. My Queen I love you and look forward to continuing our journey.
     
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  6. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    #31 cshorts, Oct 18, 2019
    My heart goes out to both you and @Bonobo. This sounds like a situation where professional couple counseling might help? I've seen a number of therapists over the years, usually with at least someone positive effect, once life-saving. There is a national directory of kink-friendly / kink-aware therapists is interested: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/kink-aware-professionals-59776
     
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  7. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    #32 Rectrix, Oct 18, 2019
    Good luck to both of you. I'm always surprised by how common these types of problems can be, and much of what I'm seeing here reminds me of what @PouchPantyLover has just been going through. Both sides have to bring it, both sides have to communicate.
     
  8. Kadira
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    Kadira
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    #33 Kadira, Oct 18, 2019
    Thank you my dear for the kind words. I look forward to our journey.
     
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