TV advert for chastity belt.

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by richard, Apr 27, 2010.

  1. richard
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    richard Just me

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    Ok, here's an interesting thought/question.

    How would you advrtise a CB on TV? Any ideas? (just a fun question - not for real yet)
     
  2. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    Get Tiger Woods to advertise the New Nike Sport Belt for Golfer, Jesse to push the New Biker Belt?:character0113:
     
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  3. maidboy275
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    maidboy275 Junior Member

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    Have the guy on the erectile dysfunction adds wife be the spokesperson. That might take his silly grin away.
     
  4. michelleCD
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    michelleCD Member

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    Jamielynn

    :happy0007::happy0007::happy0007::anim_63::anim_63::haha4:

    excellent
     
  5. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    Get Bill Clinton to do it.

    " I did not have sex with that woman...". Drops his pants... " see Hillary has it all locked up!"

    Talk about a presidential seal!
     
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  6. icarus_101
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    icarus_101 Babygirl

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    "When 'No' really really means 'NO!'..."

    "You have health insurance to protect your family....

    You have home insurance to protect your family...

    You have car insurance to protect your family....

    How selfish!

    Give something back...

    Lock him up and protect society."
     
  7. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    A youngish looking middle-aged June Cleaver type woman appears. She is dressed in a modest print dress with an old-fashioned apron. She is holding up a chastity device, delicately supporting it with both hands in a prayerful manner. She smiles in a sincerely motherly way and says,

    "As a member of MAM (Mothers against Masturbation) I am deeply concerned about the terrible epidemic of blindness and hairy hands among our young men. That's why I recommend Pecker Jail, the revolutionary device that solves this serious problem once and for all. For only 99 dollars you can get the patented Pecker Jail 100 complete with scrotum strap, titanium lock and key delivered right to your door.......and, if you act now you will receive a solid 14 carat gold chain, either neck or ankle on which to display your cuckold cock key for all to see and envy. It doesn't matter whether he's young, old or middle aged he needs to keep his pecker in his pants and believe me, there is no better way to accomplish this than buying the Pecker Jail 100 and clamping it on for good. So dial the number now and order yours- for only 99 dollars you can have the peace of mind you've always wanted.
    But wait, for an extra 9 dollars and 99 cents we will include a complete depilatory kit including tweezers, wax and razor for that ultimate baby smooth cock and ball combo that will make your cuck the cuck to die for. And........that's not all, if you act now you will receive a six pair pantie selection of briefs, bikini and full cut, tailored to accommodate his newly jailed package in your choice of pink, purple, yellow or black......so please, dial now and take advantage of this generous offer, you won't be sorry!"
     
  8. lock4ever
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    lock4ever Member

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    Don't call it a chastity belt. Call it a "personal security device". Never tip it in the direction of kink; leave that unstated.

    Make up a bunch of stuff about health benefits, etc. Put it in a 30 minute infomercial with attractive models, male and female. Mention fidelity, safety and attention. Sell both male and female belts. Concentrate a lot on the measuring instructions so people are tempted to measure just because. Get a catch phrase based around "it's as easy as 1, 2, 3". Make it known that the host and hostess of the show are both wearing belts for a surprise ending.

    I'm sure a lot of Ambien zombies will call in and order them for themselves and others, you will plant subliminal suggestions in the wastoids who happen to tune in, and the other market, crazy people who intentionally watch infomercials might actually believe your ridiculous claims, especially if they are paranoid and you keep talking about safety and security.

    Oh, and offer a payment plan where you can charge more by spreading out the payments and make it seem less.
     
  9. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    How about an advert with a slimy, shiny divorce lawyer with his huge car being forced out of business by the increase in the use of chastity devices?
     
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  10. Burger_01
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    Burger_01 Chastity Geek

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    What a creative lot you are! Some of these are fantastic and I genuinely laughed out loud.

    In Australia we recently had a state treasurer involved in a sex scandal with another MP. She dobbed him in, but no one was too concerned until they found out he used ministerial privileges (cars, hotels booked by the government etc) for his own *ahem* personal pastime of shagging this chick rotten. Dogey dogey politicians.

    Anyway, back on topic. There is always that thing about sports people abstaining before a big game; what about an ad like this:

    *scene, shots of parklands, family, kids on swings etc*

    Male voiceover: "Life is a struggle. From the day we are born to the day we die, we're in constant competition."

    *shorts of males locked up, women teasing cocks but leaving them unsatisfied, maybe as a mosaic of smaller images panning out to a large picture of a grinning, successful executive man*

    Voiceover: "Never loose that edge"

    *Inspriational, lifting music. cue image of chastity device with name"
     
  11. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    Incidentally Burger, I love your avatar. Is that you? The nipples are very prominent and well photographed. Nice job!
     
  12. Burger_01
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    Burger_01 Chastity Geek

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    off topic diversion.

    Thanks! It is me.. I got a DSLR for christmas & birthday. It takes nice pics, but the light level in that room is quite low.. I'm not really that green looking either.

    I love my nipple piercings.. I had them for about a year, then they were bothering me so I took them out, but I missed them so much I had to get them re pierced about a year ago :)
     
  13. michelleCD
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    michelleCD Member

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    Sorry, still off topic.

    Burger, try bracketing your white balance.
    Depending on your camera, You may be able to take a series of shots, automatically, which shifts the colour slightly.
    OR, if your camera has auto settings for ie landscape, indoor, closeup etc, try one of those as that may alter your white balance also.
    Might help colouring in your low light shots.
    Shooting photos casn be highly complicated or as simple as press the button.
    My problem is usually forgetting to note what settings I used and then being unable to replicate the shot.
    Good luck.
    cheers,
    michelleCD :butterfly:
     
  14. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    That reminds me of when i was a over the road truck driver and a Lot-Lizard<hooker> would not take no for an answer, i dropped my pants and told her she could not do a thing for me:confused0068:
     
  15. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    Scene:

    Two very elegant, thirty-something, women sit at a table, opposite each other in the window of a coffee shop watching the world go by.

    Outside a young man rushes up to a young woman in the street, plants and extremely passionate kiss on her lips and hands her a huge bouquet of flowers.

    First woman: "He could be."

    A car pulls up at the pavement. The driver gets out, rushes round to the kerb side and opens the rear passenger door. A well-dressed women stretches a high-heeled, stockinged-leg out of the car and the man takes her proffered hand and helps her out.

    Second woman: "So could he."

    A couple walk past. She is carrying about ten bags of shopping. He is carrying a a beer can and a gut poking out of a dirty t-shirt.

    First woman: "He isn't."

    Another couple walk past in the opposite direction. The man is obviously extremely angry and shouting at the woman. He raises his arm - as if to strike her - and she cowers away.

    Second woman: "He isn't - but would be if I had anything to do with it."

    A final couple come and sit down at a table outside the coffee shop. The two women watch as she kicks off a stilettoed shoe and brings her foot up under the table to rest in his crotch. Absentmindedly the man starts to massage the stockinged foot. The camera pans in to reveal that the woman is wearing a key on a silver ankle chain.

    First woman: "Now he definitely is."

    The two women turn to face the camera and 'clink' two glasses of champagne in a silent toast - and reveal they have identical keys on chains dangling decorously in their cleavages.

    Voice over (George Clooney): "Shouldn't your man be wearing a CB ?"

    On screen caption:

    Choose Better

    The key to a perfect relationship
     
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  16. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    When is this commercial going into production? Are there auditions?
     
  17. Amoroso
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    Amoroso Open minded :)

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    That's classic! I would love to see that on my TV screen! That knowing grin every time its played... I like it

     
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  18. sillynick
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    sillynick New member

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    Now why did my cb just get tighter when i read that and and Amoroso's reply? Ahh well...back to the fruitless search...
     
  19. Amoroso
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    Amoroso Open minded :)

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    oh, i dont know... maybe you should tell us... [​IMG]
     
  20. sillynick
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    sillynick New member

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    Possibly it was because i was thinking of a hot dominant woman (strangely enough she looks suspiciously like you :D ) with the key to my cb hanging off a chain in her cleavage...
     
  21. ms-laurel
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    ms-laurel Junior Member

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    I love it....this is great...you guys should start a production company!! What a creative lot we have here. Fun stuff. :lol:
     
  22. duc
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    duc New member

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    A Sadhu of India would be proud ! A bouddhist monk of the XVe century also ! A Ropman sleeve would be normal ! A man of Dani tribe of Papoua New Guinea would have no problems today.... !
    Our civilisation has a very BIG problem ! Sexual frustrations and taboo, heritage from XIXe century, is dominating always our behaviour today !
    Every thing to do with "sex" becomes always a "taboo" to day: putted in cages and condamned: BDSM, Chastity, "maison closes", etc.
    Why can't we deliver us of the sensure of the frustrated "judges", ? Only because they are ashamed for their own behaviour ?
    "It is not done". We are all sexualy ILL in western civilisation, and I assure you, here on this kind of chastity site we are almost HUMAN in comparation with they who condamned us, judged us, and deprised us, because they are only poor frustrated animals !
    ...........
    duc
     
  23. muzzledman
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    muzzledman muzzledman

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    how about a group of female strippers @ the club holding up the devices promoting,ladies pay for one of these to be installed on your man by us & he wont be coming to us again,its a win win for both of us. he will be automaticly banned after that ( marked ) their last pole-lap dance.
     
  24. sissyNY
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    sissyNY Junior Member

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    I love the one with the women specul;ating if a man is locked or not.
     
  25. richard
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    richard Just me

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    I think we should bring this thread back! Any new ideas?
     
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