Thrills and hardships of a man wanting permanent lock up

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Truly Tasty, Apr 27, 2018.

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  1. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Hi @Truly Tasty
    Sounds like things have developed very nicely over the last week. Hopefully you have been able to exercise some self-control after the edging.

    As your dynamic develops the cage might come into play more. Have patience, and be careful what you wish for.
     
  2. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Thank you, it has been a good week, I do hope my cage becomes a bigger part of our situation, self control is difficult without it but I am managing
     
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  3. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    about cuckolding, if it is not part of you lifestyle, so be it, however you must keep an open mind and remember you do not truly know her desires or what will arouse or make her happy--just be open to her thinking. If you, in some previous discussion, have put a stop sign up you should undo the damage and just say you made the mistake of trying to anticipate what her desires are, that your only preference is and always has been, her happiness--you are neutral about everything else.
     
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  4. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Frustrating morning today but I'm not complaining, the "high" is amazing.
    I did not get the chance to bath My Love last night she changed the plan and decided we were to soak in the hot tub.
    I needed to pour her a glass of wine and rub her body, I did a bit of begging last night and requested I be allowed to shave her legs, she will think about it.
    My Love did compliment me last night on how attentive I've been, it's nice that she notices and I'm hoping she realizes that the denial is working and is seeing the power it has. I am really hoping that this realization leads to more cage time and less honour system.
    Stay tuned!
     
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  5. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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  6. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Lucky again!!!
    I just got to wash My Loves body in the tub and then dry her off. She was surprised at how hard I was, asked me why, I told her "I love doing these things"
    The more I explore this and write down my thoughts the more I realize that she doesn't understand what denial can do to a man. As lucky as I feel I am, I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't understand how much it means to me to focus on her and only her.
    For those of you who follow, stay tuned! Feel free to comment, I could use the advice.
     
  7. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    Be careful to not "man-splain" things in answering her questions--the right answer to her just might be "it makes me happy." Do not be disappointed that she might not understand "how much it means...." You are on a journey together, you are not seeing the world through each other's eyes.
     
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  8. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Thank You April, the beauty of this site is that it opens up the chance to hear from other like minded people.
    I will take your advice and try to keep my explanations simple, find patience in my hopes My Love will embrace my desire for her complete control.
    You are also correct when saying we are on a journey together, very nice!
     
  9. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Since I started this blog and read back in my posts I must admit that I have had a wonderful week spent with My Love, last evening was no exception.
    I had the privilege of watching a movie with her, I sat by her feet and spent the entire time rubbing them caressing them, rubbing her soft legs, she looked so relaxed and i enjoyed it so much.
    When we crawled into bed it didn't take her long to crawl on top of me and reach for our Magic Wand, she began to use it on me and when I became hard she rubbed it against her along with the vibration of the Wand she became quite excited and slowly allowed me inside her, she had three orgasms and they were amazing to see!
    When I slide out of her she continue to hold my hardness in her hand and rub the Wand up and down my stiffness, I told her I did not need to orgasm but My Love told me she wanted me to, so slowly she held me and allowed the Wand to get me to climax.
    We spoke this morning and she said how amazing her pleasure was last night, I took the opportunity to explain to her that it was for that reason I have been denying myself pleasure without her presence. I do believe that with time she will understand fully what my intentions are when I desire complete submission to her. In the meantime I will continue to see myself as her pet and work at becoming totally devoted to her and put my own needs aside to concentrate on her needs.
    Happy pet today!!
     
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  10. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    Disappointed in myself this morning.
    My Love spent the night at a friends last night, I woke up this morning with an erection and thought I'd edge myself while I had my coffee, I went to far and ejaculated now I feel like I let her down.
    This is why I would like her to lock me up I often lose my self control.
     
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  11. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    We really are useless and need to be kept caged!
     
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  12. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Long term member

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    You don't necessarily need a cage, you just need more self control. Assuming you regret your mistake, this may help build self control for the future.
     
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  13. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    That's one thing a lot of us are sadly lacking in! But speaking for myself I not only need a cage to keep me chaste, I love wearing it!
     
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  14. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    I like so much of what you have to say, but this sounds like manipulation rather than sincere feelings
     
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  15. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    Any display of emotion is meant to draw a reaction, which can easily spin into manipulation. It is human nature.
     
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  16. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    but changes who is really in charge, maybe that is what is hitting a false note with me.
     
  17. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    W
    would your reaction and emotional response be any less of a manipulation?
     
  18. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    I am good at spotting manipulation in others, terrible at seeing my own faults, lol
     
  19. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    I'm sorry, how so?
     
  20. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    I haven't updated this journal since Monday because there hasn't been much going on.
    Since my accident on Sunday, I have a feeling of guilt I'm trying to shake, I never told My Love and I don't think she is in the mood to talk about it. There are times when she thinks I'm to consumed by the idea of chastity and orgasm denial.
    She has mentioned that I am not as attentive to her this week, I tried to ease her mind last night by giving her a back rub but my mind tells me that I am not worthy of her affection at the moment.
    I realize that I may be being selfish when I say this but I would like My Love to be more understanding of my wishes to only please her, I believe I deserve punishment for my accident, I can not be punished for something she knows nothin about.
    This is the frustrating part of chastity and orgasm denial being my desire.
     
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  21. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    seems like more manipulation, you want what you expect to get "as punishment"
     
  22. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Long term member

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    There is no manipulation as My Love knows nothing about this. I am merely expressing my feelings in words for those who are following.
    You must understand that my accident we just that, it was not my intention and the guilt I feel for not waiting and going behind her back is real, if I were in the same situation as some chaste men in this forum I know they would be punished in whatever way their KH felt appropriate, the power they have over their subs is something I am jealous of and wish to have My Love in complete control.
    I do understand that it is my kink and My Love does not necessarily share those same desires however she does appreciate that I wait for her, by denying myself she has my complete attention when she requires it.
    Once again, I am not manipulating anything, merely putting my feelings into words to help me to try to understand my own "fetish" for lack of a better word.
    The encouragement and understanding I get on this site sometimes make me understand my feelings from a different point of view.
     
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  23. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    There is acctually a thread here that explains exactly how to manipulate your wife/partner into the perfect domme. Including a list of outfits and equipment needed for her to make the transition .
     
  24. AprilC
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    AprilC Active member

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    i am not critical, I am just making note of manipulation, since if I understood your desires not to be a game, but a sincere commitment, that you would not to stumble into something that might detract from the commitment. Often, the submissive one is the one in control.
     
  25. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    Exactly, my wife and I have been together for 15 years and she showed zero desire to participate for the first 14 years. I have been on this journey for 2 years now, there was so much to work out between us that I said almost nothing about my kinks for the first year. About a year into my self examination my beautiful wife came home and was being the same old same old towards me. I had finally decided I had made enough changes in myself that I could ask her to change. I pointed to a saying that hangs in our kitchen (she hung it there). It reads “being happy does not mean everything is perfect. It means you decided to see beyond the imperfections” her face said it all that evening.

    Getting there was no easy task and it took some serious self reflection and willingness to give up some habits that were incredibly difficult to break. But the rewards for my efforts have been amazing. Kadira is my wife and she is an active member here and on another flr site. The damage I caused trying to get her to partake in my kinks has taken 2 years to scab over and may always leave a scar. She is not a natural Domme but she is trying her hardest to learn the craft. We must gain our wives trust before this will ever work. Look in the mirror for your answers they most likely are there.
     
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