Thoughts on mood drop?

It’s a thing for sure. Some more than others. Your letting him out too much, IMHO. I recommend setting an increasing time between allowing him to orgasm until you get to your goal time but then make the time random to show you are in charge, not him.

My wife/KH makes me go anywhere from one to three weeks between orgasms with random teasing between them. She gets as many as she wants and I thank her for allowing me to give them to her.

His grumpy attitude will change if you use it against him by increasing time between orgasms when he is grumpy. At least that is my experience.

Good luck.

 

Orgasm drop is very real, i have found when im fed my cum or have to lick it up afterwards i dont seem to drop as far and bounce back quicker. Also being relocked straight away and teased makes a big difference

 

I agree...If my Wife(KH) allows me to stay un-caged after she lets me cum, it takes about a day before I want to be locked again. This doesn't happen much anymore. She told me if she lets me cum or ruins an orgasm and locks me back up right away, I lose that mood faster. Most times it's a quick orgasm and then re-caged right away. Lately it's been teased, still caged, right to the edge and then left to suffer. So I haven't felt that orgasm drop much...

 

Ruined orgasms may help great the drop as well. Despite the name, I quite enjoy being ruined.

 

This is an article that I found at one point here on the mansion. It is an interesting read about the exact subject you are interested in. I told my KH about it and she wanted to read it. Well after she read it, I noticed she started to be less wiling to let me out.

https://www.reuniting.info/node/4865

 

I found before we started MC, I would cum first, then I would crash. And would

Very good article..."He wanted to orgasm but craved denial". I feel the exact same way. My Wife(KH) gets me so excited during my teasing sessions, it drives me crazy. She gets me so close to cumming, then asks me if I want to, and for some reason I tell her no...This has happened many times. After being denied, I lay there and wonder why I said no...Now I know...

 

Orgasm drop is definitely a real thing, caused in part by prolactin hormone release. Another part of it is caused by the simple fatigue of being chaste and having chased it and finally caught it and not wanting to start chasing again. You're lucky it's only a half day, for most men it's three or four days. You can shorten it by relocking immediately -- no free erections overnight -- and by requiring immediate submissive service.

How often you let him spurt is up to you and your relationship and your relationship goals. Think of cumming like giving your BF a vacation from his submission and proper chaste mood. Most people get 2-4 wks/yr, or about 4-8% of the time. 4-8% of a month is 1.2 - 2.4 days. So if he's in drop for 2 days after spurting then about once a month is right; if he's only in drop 1 day, then twice a month or if he's in drop for 4-6 days (like me) then once every two to three months works best for my wife.

I hate the drop, hate Day 1, so I'm happy to avoid it and stay needy for my wife.

 

I definitely have noticed the drop. Not so much grumpy , but more of a mild depression feeling. I told my Queen that it is worth being locked up a little longer just to avoid those periods for me it lasts 1-3 days.

I also noticed before chastity that during her visit from Flo, my mood would drop as well, but we would both be really horny at the same time (we've been together nearly 13 years). So the worst is to get a great orgasm right before Flo shows up...

 

I’m relativley new and have noticed the drop, but also the clingy, attentive highs from denial. All great information on this thread, as I’m also trying to figure out how to milk the best behavior (pun intended). We made it to 3 weeks (longest) but subby’s attention was best after ruined o’s thrown in. He bounces back after a day from true orgasm. I’m going to restrict to longer since the 3 weeks was fairly painless, and he really didn’t need the orgasm anyway

 

...do they ever? : )~

 

I didn’t read through everyone’s post but I do concur with the drop in subbiness for a short period. It can be about a day long thing for me or sometimes it doesn’t happen at all, I’m not really sure why I have it sometimes and not others. Some of the time I think depending on my mood anyway may play into how much mood drop I’m experiencing, as you mentioned placebo effect.

Like others have mentioned you can somewhat control this mood drop by reminding him that you are in charge by making him do submissive activities to remind him of his place. This can be a variety of things depending on your comfort level.

My mistress tends to be a little more bossy or makes it a point that I serve her or get her anything she wants after she’s allowed me an O. Even if it’s something that’s a foot away from here she’ll make me come over to her and hand it to her. Reminders of my position in our relationship.

 

'Drop' is the bane of My generosity when it comes to letting him spill.

Over time, the length of those negative effects has decreased... but the time between orgasms has also increased. It's tough to say what's had the most impact.

I used to feel obligated to 'reset' him with an orgasm after a month or so but those feelings have faded. I make him spill when I see fit rather than letting time or circumstance dictate My actions.

If you'd told Me five years ago that I'd make him wait for nine months, I'd call you crazy. While that's the most extreme gap during our entire relationship, it worked well. I've given him three full orgasms this year and I'm pretty positive that's all he'll get in 2018.

I've lost count of how many ruins I've given him, though... When properly executed, they can provide the best of both worlds. Everyone's mileage differs, however.

Good luck as you navigate what works best for you and yours.

 

IMHO all chaste men, once allowed to orgasm experience some form of "drop". My wife allowing me a "release" was a gift from her. I hated the drop as well but she really disliked seeing how it affected me and our WLM for a few days. Like others here have stated, putting us back into our belts right away really helps but also being required to consume your cum is probably the biggest thing a wife/GF could do. For us anyway. My wife researched and i did as well per her instruction, to find ways to cut down on the drop. Eating ones cum was one of things that kept coming around.
The last thing I want to do after I cum is 1. put my belt back on and 2. get on my knees and lick it all up while she watches. I was surprised how fast it resets my submissive being, like right away.
My wife explained before my belt came off of what was going to happen the first time. I'll masturbate where she says (YES YES), I'll slide my cage back on right away (YES YES) and lastly, I'll lick every drop up (YES YES). I was so eager to cum I would have agreed to about anything. It had been about 3 months at that point since my last release. I did the deed per her instruction and the second I was done pumping she handed me my cage (I left my cuff ring on) and padlock. That was tough as I did not want to go back in just yet but I did. Lots of internal things going on as I slide my cage on. Next, once the cage was locked back on I was told to get on my knees and clean up my mess. I knelt there for some time just starring at "it" and my wife said it's better to not let it get cold. Finally I started, and to be honest the first time was rough. I never saw myself eating my own cum. She was not backing down so I started licking it until she was pleased with the cleanup.
Afterwards, I felt like my submissive self having to put my cage back on and doing the deed. We don't have the drop here anymore. I was not allowed any water or liquids after that first time until she said. She wanted me to taste it in my mouth and throat for a spell.
That's our story. I'm sure others have their "tricks".

 

Really? I haven't seen that in all my reading so I'm curious... anyone else do this to avoid the drop? Can ingesting your own ejaculate help? I'm dubious but I'm too ignorant to know better. Love to hear thoughts.

 

I've seen it mentioned numerous times by people on this site, and not just from the same few individuals. I tried to search for threads to give you a bunch of links, but both "eat" and "cum" are too short to search for.

 

No surprises really, the drop is a real thing and it's cortisol replacing dopamine in the CNS. Those males who are drawn to chastity, Femdom etc, get a strong motivational factor when experiencing the physical and mental aspects of this area of living, big highs basically. This then drives an increase in attentive behaviours, emotional support to the Female, a real acceleration of submissiveness. Then BANG! Dominant shows charity, allows relief, this accelerates the dopamine production further, followed by CRASH! Cortisol kicks in and downward emotions flood the once happy content space. If You mess with the biology, the chemicals will mess with You! The 'halfway house' lifestyle may well create a little fun in the sexy play department, but there are negatives. Like You have to put up with the grumps and the loss of that super subby for a while. In the complete power exchange lifestyle, this is a less of a problem. Full time subs/slaves do not tend to have to contend with ambiguous chemistry. They are permanently chaste, so less 'flip/flop'. Either way, enjoy!

 

Mistress’s new theory on maximizing my devotion and obedience and minimizing me being annoying and needy is: One release / 20 days and right back in the cage. Day 20 was today and I think she is onto something. Going back in the cage right away helps me with post-release mood drop after periods of denial. Good luck finding what works best for you!

 

@KHCouple4517 this may be of interest.

 

I have done some research on sub drop, which I believe is another term for what is being described. I used to suffer terrible sub drop until I began to understand the process.

My understanding is that there are two parts to sub drop: physiological, and physiological.

The physiological portion is the easier with which to deal and can be controlled with some simple measures. Physiological drop is caused by the after effect of the chemical release during play. Replacing the chemicals is the best way to deal with this part of sub drop. I found that food and drink formulated to replace electrolytes and give quick energy can help immensely. As a cyclist, I am very familiar with these products and will share my favorites with anyone interested enough to PM.

Dealing with the psychological part of the drop is more difficult. However, I found simply understanding the process helped me cope. According to my understanding, the psychological drop results from removal of all of the Dominant's (or Key Holder's) attention after play. It is not unlike the process undergone by an only child when a new sibling joins the family.

Understanding these feelings by both parties goes a long way in coping. The sub (I am applying this term loosely but am including anyone locked in chastity) can be open and honest with the Dominant (again this includes Key Holders regardless of relationship dynamics) about these natural feelings. The Dominant, once aware, can assuage these feelings by offering a little extra TLC or a kind word.

In my case Domina spends a few minutes bringing me down after intense play so that I don't crash. I little gentle rubbing by Domina, a bit of hydration, perhaps an energy bar and I am on my way back to my everyday life sans the drop.

Full disclosure: I am not a medical professional but this post was based on some research and a lot of personal experience. The methods described help me deal with sub drop but your mileage may vary.

 

Wow! I am just coming out of one of the worst sub drops I have ever experienced! I hope you don't mind my sharing. In a severe case sub drop can become serious and it is important to know that we are not alone when it happens.

As many of you may know, I am not married to my Key Holder, nor do we live together. These factors contributed to my drop but they are not entirely responsible for its severity.

The first thing that needs to be clarified is that Domina did absolutely NOTHING wrong. In fact, I believe that the severity of the drop was due to Her doing everything right, perfectly in fact. The second thing to note is that to date, She is totally unaware of my drop as I chose to deal with it solely on my own. Had I chosen to make Her aware of my bad drop, I am 100% sure that She would be concerned, supportive, and helpful in helping me cope.

Last Thursday we had a particularly intense session in the dungeon. I mean intense in the best way, I was flying as I haven't in a long time. It was fantastic in so many ways! As always, Domina brought me down slowly afterward, She is adamant about aftercare.

I was still in subspace until going to sleep that night but by Friday morning when the drop had taken hold. In the past I have made sure that I take care of the physiological symptoms of sub drop by drinking an energy drink. This helps me replace the chemicals that were released during the intense session and are responsible for the flying sensation. As it had been a while since I had experienced a significant drop I neglected this step and I believe doing so added to the its depth.

This time the physio drop was so severe that I experienced leg cramps for two days that I am sure resulted from dehydration. Just a note that this type of dehydration does not result from perspiration but from the release of body and brain chemicals during BDSM activities. In this case the physio part of the drop felt like a mild but noticeable hang over. After a couple of days I finally realized what was happening and downed some energy drinks. It could have been psychosomatic but I immediately started to feel better.

The Psychological part of this drop was particularly devastating. I am no expert but I believe this part of the drop is actual withdrawal symptoms resulting from the "cold turkey" after the sudden rush of endorphins wears off. For the first day I was an emotional wreck. I was angry, for no good reason, and the only thing I can compare it to (it sounds silly, I know) is a bad break up. However, there was no real basis for these negative feelings apart from the drop. I left Domina with smiles and hugs as usual, there were only positive caring words between us when I left Her. We made plans for the next week so there was no indication of any type of animosity yet I felt emotionally horrible for two days.

As i write this on Sunday morning I am finally beginning to feel better, both physically and emotionally. The two quarts of energy drink seemed to help, as did a good night's sleep.

I write this in hopes of helping others understand the nature and consequences of a severe sub drop. Also, having experienced this particularly bad drop I am leaving some advice for Dommes and subs to get thorough what can be a difficult and potentially debilitating time. I hope it helps

subs: Know that you are not alone in experiencing this mood swing. Understanding what is happening can go a long way in dealing with the situation. The first bit of advice is to drink, the second is to drink. Replace the electrolytes lost during play, the sooner the better, and you will feel much better.

Understand that in severe cases you may feel angry toward your Dominant or Key Holder. Please resist any impulse to lash out or use harsh words with your Dominant. They have likely done nothing wrong and are also likely to be unaware of your suffering unless you tell them. My experience indicates that as wonderful as many Dominants are, they are not mind readers. Therefore, exercise the number one rule in a BDSM (I include chastity lifestyle in this category) and communicate. If you do so your Dominant is likely to be understanding, sympathetic, and helpful in getting you through the drop.

Dominants: This advice is offered with the utmost respect of course, but please be understanding of us subs. You may not understand our condition, as it does not seem rational or even realistic at times, but please be patient with us. What we are experiencing is real and can be debilitating in extreme cases.

Communication goes both ways. Dominants have no idea how much a simple "how are you feeling" or a soft touch to a sub's special spot can be (I mean the small of the sub's back or neck or whatever the sub's special spot can be, nothing sexual intended by this at all) when we experience sub drop.

Finally, both sides should understand that an intense sub drop is most likely indicative of a great scene or play and an intense bond between partners.

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps.

 

That sounds good. Please share how this ended up working for you in the end