Thoughtcrime

Discussion in 'Site announcements and information' started by Billus, Oct 31, 2016.

?

Should what you say or do on other sites be relevant here if you don't mention it?

Poll closed Nov 7, 2016.

  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%

  2. No

    7 vote(s)
    50.0%

  3. Don't know

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%

  4. Don't care

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%
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  1. TitaniumChastiTi
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    TitaniumChastiTi Custom Bespoke Manufacturer

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    #26 TitaniumChastiTi, Oct 31, 2016
    Ok Jens thank you for your re-assurance, im actually now looking forward to your next announcement !!!
     
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  2. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #27 Billus, Oct 31, 2016
    Please show where I 'smeared' anyone. Go ahead, I'll wait...

    Here we see the thin end of the wedge. In less than a day we move from "What you do on other sites affects you here" to outright threats when anyone disagrees with 'policy'. Tomorrow people will be banned on the slightest whim. Why not? You're this close to doing it now. Suppress any other viewpoint, right? That's how they do it in North Korea.

    Please show where I said I support findom, or want to see it allowed on CM. My point is that if someone is a findom on some other site, but does not mention it on CM or refer to it in any way, is that grounds for excluding them from participating in discussions here? Why? Because Admin thinks we need to be "protected"? Should he go onto the other sites and demand the admins there delete the offending member? For the record, I do not support findomming on CM; but I also do not support stifling anyone who wishes to join this site if they do not promote their findom activities on CM. I do not think it's Admin's business to penalize or judge people before they break a rule (such as 'No findomming on CM').

    The issue isn't about findomming; people don't seem to be able to see past that word. If someone has sex with animals, but did not breathe a word of it here on CM, is Admin right to ban them? Once you decide, "I will ban you for doing something I dont like on another site", where do we draw the line? Should people be banned from other sites if they engage in chastity discussions here? Why not? Isn't that the same thing?

    Despite assurances to the contrary, don't be surprised. Like I said, this could be the thin end of the wedge.
     
  3. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    #28 SubVerity, Nov 1, 2016
    I'm sorry - you're presuming that no-body has been promoting their findom services on CM, when in fact they have.
     
  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #29 Mascara^Snake, Nov 1, 2016
    indeed they did yes and some of them were reprimanded.
     
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  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #30 Jasmic68, Nov 1, 2016
    In the real world what you do outside your job can have serious repercussions on you even keeping that job.

    Many places check out your social media history before you even go for an interview to see if you are a suitable candidate. So, that night you got drunk with all your mates back in uni and someone took a photo of you slumped unconscious by the fridge could now prevent you getting that nice lucrative job in the city.

    In the British military it is even worse. What your wife and kids do could have a serious affect on your career! You aren't just responsible for your own actions, you are responsible for theirs too.

    The point is a line in the sand has been drawn. No witch hunt has been announced and the administrator has been pretty consistent with his distaste of and objection to findomme. I have been here for just a year and I have seen him announce this several times. At no point has he ever decided he didn't like anything else and ban that too.
     
  6. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    #31 Jens, Nov 1, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2016
    @Billus - What You are saying is that if I was soliciting for young girls at the age of 5 on another site, and You as the head of CM found out about it, You would just look the other way - and welcome me to CM?

    You are missing the point - On the internet and in real life You cannot separate behaviour in one place with behaviour in another.
    If I any kill 15 people in France, and no-one ( so far) in Germany , then I am to walk freely in the streets of Berlin?

    Your smear for sure - by giving me - and others- all kind og ugly motives for this move.
    And I will happily repeat that it has to stop.
    You seems to have absolutely no understanding of the need for protection of some our members. I translate that with this: You simply don't care!

    Findom is to the best of my knowledge illegal exploitation.
    We do not support illegal behaviour. And we act upon it when it is revealed.

    Have a good day Billus
     
  7. scottishsubby
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    scottishsubby Chasing ghosts...

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    #32 scottishsubby, Nov 1, 2016
    I would disagree that members here need protecting - we are all adults and more than capable of making our own decisons, about findomme or anything else.

    That said, I 100% support the policy in it's entirety. It is a very pleasant change to be able to use a site without having to wade through endless people with no real interest other than money. Given the nature of the site it would be far more intrusive to allow such individuals and then monitor their behaviour and very labour intensive to respond after the fact to complaints from other members.

    The policy is concise, simple and very specific : if you are a findomme, stay away from CM. There's no room for interpritation, no grey areas, no ambiguity. As rules go, it's a good one.
     
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  8. TitaniumChastiTi
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    TitaniumChastiTi Custom Bespoke Manufacturer

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    #33 TitaniumChastiTi, Nov 1, 2016
    We assume everyone here is an adult, but do wonder some times, but as with other Social media, in effect anyone can join without proving their age, other than that I agree entirely with what you say..
     
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  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #34 Jasmic68, Nov 1, 2016
    This is obviously true, but generally speaking the mature way we deal with each other would suggest that not many under age people are that interested in us. Given the nature of our particular kink that probably isn't surprising. At anything from 13 to 18 I certainly wouldn't have been interested in controlling my orgasms!
     
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  10. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    #35 Jens, Nov 1, 2016
    Thanks for commenting:)
    We do not have to agree on everything, and You may see my focus on protection as some way of trying to pivot myself to a higher ground;-) For a fact I know how irrational I could become when I was denied orgasm for long- in the early states of this lifestyle. I am still denied BTW, by have regained some level of rational thinking LOL. People do get irrationel in their attempts to get attention, and some are trying professionally to gain from that. I like to think of CM as place where you in fact try to the best of your ability to make a framework thats shelters from exploitation.
    I gives my ownership some meaning to me:)
     
  11. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #36 Billus, Nov 1, 2016
    Verify, how many times do I have to say it? I have no problem with banning members who promote findomming on CM. Are you not reading my comments fully?

    First, 'findom' is not 'illegal exploitation'. That's nonsense. Maybe that's why you are failing to understand that trampling people's rights is not a correct response. In the US and UK, there have been cases where bakeries have been taken to court for refusing to serve gay or atheist customers, because the owners of the bakeries have claimed their religious 'freedom' is constrained by serving people who believe or indulge in behaviour they find offensive. The bakeries lose, because their beliefs do not allow them to discriminate against people who may do things they disagree with. You may not like findommery, I may not like it; but banning people who do not promote or actively do it here is just blatant discrimination. Once you take it upon yourself to be the moral arbitrator of what the rest of us can do, then where does it stop? I know of at least one member on this site (not me), who has admitted he enjoys being findommed; do you ban him now?

    You have every right to ban findomming on this site. And I agree with that completely (are you reading this, Verity?). But to discriminate against members because of what they do outside this site (which is not illegal), is simply wrong. I'm sorry you fail to see that. Perhaps if you were denied access to a site because the admin there believes that banding is a dangerous practice, you might start to understand.
     
  12. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    #37 Jens, Nov 1, 2016
    It all comes down to the fact that you can't separate things like You try to. It simply does not work like that. As I said some place else - I do not want CM to be used as a stepping stone for findom exploitation. And for banding - no one but me is potentially hurt from it. (BTW. I have now been doing it for 18 months and there seems to be no undesired side effects, but thank You for the concern)

    And I hear you are saying that I am wrong. Your choice.
    Don't You think that you have ventilated it enough by now?;-) I am not changing my mind. It gives meaning to me to shelter certain members. Sorry!
     
  13. maid_carrie
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    maid_carrie
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    #38 maid_carrie, Nov 1, 2016
    Let's be fair to @Billus - I was taken aback by the last few lines of his original post where he made a prediction, but let's be right, he was bang on the money!

    An ex mod (double ex actually) with a propensity for sucking up to admin with profile posts like "Thanks Jens, you're doing such a great job. xx" and "I hope you had a super holiday. Best wishes to D." Had indeed been scouring the net on a witchunt and in no time was gleefully dropping her finding for public display like a proud cat with a mouse, despite admin asking that any such thing be done discreetly.

    Excellent prediction - what's your prediction for the lottery on Saturday??

    But seriously, this whole thing is blown up because one - or two - members feel they should now be promoting their wishlists aggressively and then some rules need to be made as they no doubt said there was nothing in writing to say they shouldn't be pushing a wishlist on their profile.

    It's all down to ethos of the site really.

    Wishlists have never been encouraged, in fact some ladies have turned up then decided to put up their wishlist. They have been met either with a stony silence or mild derision from the members. They got the message and moved on to other pastures.

    To me, actively promoting a wishlist here is only one step or so up from the scammers we get now and again - and the forceful message "Off You Go" was in a thread for some time saying they were not welcome.

    So just because a couple of folk decide that the ethos should be changed to suit them, we have all this going on as they have asked to see the rule that says they can't do something against the ethos of the site.

    If at every step admin has to codify what is and isn't acceptable we will end up with Clause 163 of rule 745, or similar, being quoted as the get out clause for some action or other. And of course those of a free spirit feel they can ignore them anyway - so what's the point?

    As @scottishsubby said "It is a very pleasant change to be able to use a site without having to wade through endless people with no real interest other than money." Yes, that's what makes this place different and a good place to be, and we need to defend that and not let things creep in and change that uniqueness of a kink related site that is free of slime. In a way it's not the members that need protecting, it's the site itself, and how we conduct ourselves.

    We all know by gut instinct what is right and wrong here, without a whole list of rules and we should then accept admin's judgement of that, but what we have now is some who want to be free to do as they wish while having rules for everything else.

    With the lack of written rules and regs comes a lot of responsibility for each and every member. We all see what is going on and flag up what is outside the longstanding ethos of the site. It's quite simple.

    Yes, of course people who are respected active members can gently advertise what they do, or have to offer as part of the community, but don't turn up as a newbie and start a thread with the "offer of the day" on your webstore, or dropping links to your store into discussions.

    Just my thoughts on all this rules, rules, rules idea.
     
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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    #39 jemima, Nov 1, 2016
    it dont matter, sorry. i got it all wrong
     
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  15. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #40 Billus, Nov 1, 2016
    How funny to read that mister carrie is not one for enforcing rules strictly. I must have traveled into a parallel Universe.

    I hate to bust your bubble, fella, but this post is not motivated at all by the 'wishlist' kerfluffle. Sorry to disappoint you.

    At any rate, it's all a tempest in a teapot, and is what it is. Whatever. But I won't be surprised when/if I hear that someone is being banned for speeding or a parking ticket, or anything else that adults engage in without supervision. Illegal is illegal, right?
     
  16. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #41 Mascara^Snake, Nov 1, 2016
    Actually there have been incidents in the past which
    Pay no heed to Mr Carries Hopelessly embittered scrawlings Billus. He is simply grinding his axe with riddles from the past.
     
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  17. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    #42 Jens, Nov 1, 2016
    I will now close this Thread. Period...
     
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