Those of you with kids.,

We haven't had many issues with having children. I tend to me more conscious of the metal cage and not letting the kids accidentally bump it when they're around me. As for discipline, I will say it's harder for my wife to find time and opportunity to whip/spank/paddle me when the kids are around. Fortunately, I work at home, and my wife is often home when the kids are at school. Teasing and denial happen regardless. She just checks to make sure the kids aren't in the room before she says something or gropes me. Most of our play is in the bedroom, which is on the other side of the house from the kids' rooms, so that helps.

 

With two children out of four still at home,time for punishment and training is limited and has to be done accordingly. We have found there to be very few other restrictions.

 

This has also been on our mind as we are expecting our first in June! I hope it doesn't fade to far to the back burner. I'm guessing she won't mind keeping me locked up as she may not be as anxious to engage in sex for a while after anyway. The tough part will be if she doesn't want to tease me while I'm all locked up too!

 

I feel your sense of loss of control and frustration. Perhaps you could reapproach with some kind of small incentive to gain his interest again. At the very least, you will need to make some kind of time for each other, even if its not FLR based. If you want him to submit to you, it's gotta start somewhere. Give him something that will blow his mind and then explain to him once its done about how it was definitely the last time, unless.............But, you may not be ready to draw that line in the sand. Maybe this is something you enjoy only on the weekends or on special occasions when you have the time for each other. As my wife and KH is away on travel a lot, and we do still have 2 children to finish raising, I know how difficult it can be to find the time, and then you can quickly begin to feel resentful, neglected, and forgotten. I am kept locked most days 24/7, work full time, take care of the house, cook, children's needs etc... Don't give up on things, but try to enjoy them as life allows.

 

You could tell him no.... say to him that this is not a game that just stops because life is busy. Maybe find some time before bed to give him a nice long hand job and ask him if he wants to release. If he says yes tell him his finances stay under your control. If he says no he will wait, tell him that was a wise decision and since the decision to let him release was always yours anyway and that you are the one making decisions the him his finances will stay under your supervision for now! See how that goes

 

Love that answer

 

Maybe you could have grandparents or someone babysit for a few hours and you both go out for a nice meal and just have "you time" .
Doesn't have to be about kink just a little break for you two to "be you two" and then the rest may fall into place cos it is hard with young children (vanilla and kink relationships) and the parents sometimes get so wrapped up with being busy with the children they sometimes forget that they deserve "them time" ,if that makes sense and forget (not intentionally) about the relationship due to concentrating the new life raising the youngster/youngsters .
Even if it's just a couple of hours at a local restaurant is it's still time with just you two and a little break for you both to enjoy your company .

 

Pass the responsibility to your locked up husband to plan sometime alone. Don't give him any teasing or stimulation till he earns it. If he's under your control he'll get very creative. Good luck

 

Also if he wants control back make sure he understands that it's a one way street. Most men in chastity don't ever want to go back to being unlocked.

 

After birth is the hardest time for sex ever.
When my first and my second were born we had no sex. That was before chastity and I just dove deeper in to porn and masturbation.

With my new gained knowledge it might be better now so here are some theoretical tips.
Even if you are exhausted there should be time to whisper something naughty in his ear. Tell him what a good boy he was or tell him what he needs to improve on. Then squeeze his balls or rub his hair.

Assign him tasks, involve him more, as hard as it is for mums but trust him to do stuff with the baby and let him help you. The more he helps you the more time and energy you will find to do something sexual. For me it does wonders when she squeezes my balls in passing by and tells me what a good boy I was or threatens the big punishment.

 

It's just one of those play it by ear situations, our kid was 1 when we started and now he's 3. It wasn't the fastest progression in the world and it still isn't but we make the time when we can. Lots of times we'll go several days in between any sort punishments or any of the "bedroom stuff" sometimes a couple weeks. It sucks but at least we still get to play a bit and we always get a day or two completely to our selves over the course of a month where things get a little more intense. What doesn't change is my constant service to my wife. She still gets pampered and treated like the queen she is 24/7. Admittedly it was hard for me to wrap my head around being her total servant when I still really wanted more attention from her. I guess my brain rewired itself or something because now it's become a turn on when she 100% denies me and makes it so much more worthwhile when she does give me the attention I crave.

You guys will just have to find a system for you and it will evolve as you continue this lifestyle. Believe me I understand, kids leave little to no time for anything.

Just some fun tips, there's always things you can do to keep things interesting... make him go to the store wearing a buttplug, or make him wear a pair of panties for the day. Start a new nightly routine when the baby goes down where he has to rub your feet for 30 min and you'll play with his cock for two minutes. Try to find and fit little things in that are low energy but will keep you both in the right frame of mind. Trust me, a butt plug is the perfect toy for that. There a plug out there called the "Hush" it's a Bluetooth controlled buttplug. You can make him vibrate with your smart phone. So what my wife does is she'll send me out on some errands and purposely forgot something then she'll buzz my ass when I'm in the middle of shipping which means I'm tobcall her and ask what else I need to get. Fun for both of us. Sometimes I wonder if others can hear it. It's not the best toy ever because it's connection can be inconsistent but it's still fun. Try to be creative and fun in small ways to help keep things spicy but nothing that will over exert you because you've been taking care of your baby all day.

 

Now's the time to keep going, if you fall out of the habit it could be years before you pick it back up.

Your baby is young, you aren't in a position to need to sneak about yet.

 

It is a game. If your otherwise occupied then drop the stuff till you can return to it properly. Kids are tough and men are traditionally ignored with the birth of a child. Now lock the cock and ignore him could be really bad. I've seen divorces over less.

 

My Wife and I are adopting a baby. We talked long and hard about the implications to this side of our lives as we had got to the stage in our lives when our children had left home. It means some changes, obviously, and large ones at that, but the basic tenets of our style of chastity will not change.

The more effort I put into helping bring up this child the less tired and stressed my Wife will be. I suppose for us the most successful thing that has happened over the past year is the establishment of our FLR and that will continue whether the chastity does or not. We will not have as much time for my Wife to play as she would like but she is determined not to let this take over completely.

 

Denial kinda takes care of itself, and it doesn't take too much time for a bit of of teasing.

A routine is a nice way of keeping things moving even when they start to slow down. Punishment for not following the routine is a nice incentive too. My morning or night oral service is a great way to keep me focused. Yeah sometimes I'm tired, but I'm once I start I'm totally into it and ready for action. Knowing I will get a serious paddling if I miss is enough to wake me up early enough to get to business lol.

I don't believe any of this should ever feel "forced", but at this point, I think it would hurt her feelings if I decided to quit. We've talked about it, and she doesn't ever want to lose control. So, she knows that to keep control, she can't ignore me And must an active participant.

I always say, being a kh is work. Those who say "just lock it up you don't have to do anything" are fooling themselves. It's work to keep the caged man feeling teased, and it's work to make him feel charged. Of course it's never 24/7 but it still requires effort, patience, and sometimes grabbing the bull by its horns and telling them HOW it is.

Have a nice sit down with him and explain how your loss of control is making u feel. Explain that you miss making and enforcing your will, and that sexually you need this. If he truly doesn't want to do this anymore, there really isn't anything to do about it...except maybe emotional blackmail.

I suggest taking some time for a conversation, then make time for the rest. It really doesn't take all that much time. I don't buy in to the "oh we don't have the time" really? No time for a five minute handjob and telling him to lock up? No time to order him to give you a massage or some oral? No time to take a shower together and make it a little naughty for a minute and stopping? Or no time for him to watch you get yourself off while he helplessly watches? It does take effort but very little time. Even a few texts during the day knowing she's thinking of me as much as I am about her make me feel special.

Good luck and grab that bull by the horns and tell him what you want.

 

Whoah! Not what I said or meant at all. I never said she should feel grateful for oral attention and I would certainly not want to perform on someone that really would rather not receive it.

I also completely understand and know that sexual contact is certainly not a priority when consumed with the responsibility of raising a child.

She said she wanted to get into the swing of things but couldn't find the time. I mostly wanted to point out that it didn't have to be a full on domme session with whips and chains to keep them both into the swing of things. It could be as simple as some dialogue, a tug on the cage, or having him wash her back in the shower.

I have raised a child, and know about time, energy levels, and priorities, as well as the loveliness of a well earned nap. And let's be clear ladies...men are not all sitting in front of a tv waiting to be sexually stimulated after the woman cleans the home and raises a child. Most nowadays take an active part in not only the household, but child rearing while maintaining a full time job.

Yes if this type of dynamic is too much to handle, then by all means it should be modified to suit everyone's needs. She was the one wanting to keep it going and stay in the swing. If she wants this power dynamic to stay active...activity is needed. It doesn't have to be leather and whips, winks, pats on the butt, or talking to each other are virtually effort free and take no time.

You made it sound like I told her to quit whining and do a strip tease.

 

FIrst off CONGRATULATIONS you two! Welcome to the never ending job of parenthood.
So my two cents....
Take your time to focus on your little one for a while becuase it will be gone so so fast. Finding time to play while having a new child is deffintaly a challenge.
Thing will settle down, a little, as they age but even then good luck.
Hahahaaaa
Any punishing time around here is saved for when the kids go to bed.
And remeber it's ok to put your little one down in their bed while you take a moment to take care of each other.
Baby will be ok just make sure to put them some where safe.
It won't dameage your child and you shouldnt feel guilty about it either.
If it weren't for you love of each other baby wouldn't be here so make sure to remeber that.

 

My wife and I shared a married women for most of out marriage. She was into S&M as the sadist. She had a young son and that we never met and only saw one picture of him when he was born. That was about 33 years ago. She kept her marriage and our triad separate very successfully. Although we socialized with her husband, we respected him and never did anything with him there except the one time when he wanted to watch and then freaked out and left. I have no idea of what she told her son, who still lives with her and is supported by her, why she spent so much time living at our house. I know that she was into S&M with her husband because she would let it slip that something we did was something her husband also liked. Sometimes she did something new and I would ask her where she learned that and she would just say, that her hubby was into it.

They not only made an S&M sex life work for them but also a cuckold marriage. When her son was young she left him at his mother's house when she was with us. Her husband would pick up her son after work and drop him off in the morning. We never even saw her condo. It is kind of weird to go on vacation with your girlfriend, wife and your girlfriend's husband and have the hubby tell his wife to have a good time and he will see her at the end of the week when it was time to fly home. I could never do that. Their son was older by then so he could take care of himself. I think her husband went with her for appearances sake rather than just go to Vegas or a tropical island for a week or two by herself. Really do not know and she told us not to ask questions. I am not stupid enough to ruin a good thing so I did not ask questions. In fact, when she was with us, she was mine and I rarely thought of her husband. Never felt weird that I was having sex with someone who was having sex with another guy. For the three of us it was just our normal life. We never had kids because we are both sterile and back in our day, there were not many options other than adopting and that had no appeal to either of us, especially due to our lifestyle. When with people with young kids I have to watch what I say. I am not used to censoring myself so I can see the problem with couples with kids. No leaving the shower naked and walking around. No having sex whenever you want to with the door open. No worrying about the cries of pain of the crack of a whip or paddle. No explaining about the bruises and welt marks on my back and butt. My life would have been so different if we had kids. Instead we got to spend all that money you spend on yours, on ourselves. I know that it is a rich experience to have kids but kids also stress a marriage and demand a lot of your time. Then half the time they get married and move away. We did not miss what we never had. Our dogs were our children and our sex life bored them.