The real feeling of Chastity

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by mobico69, Dec 19, 2010.

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  1. slaveboymiami
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    slaveboymiami Junior Member

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    Interesting turn of events.

    I hope your wife doesnt find out about what happened in the end. I doubt she would approve.

    Therisa doesnt exactly sound like a very trust worthy person.
     
  2. Sillyfemdude
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    Sillyfemdude Active member

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    SlaveBoy,
    "Therisa doesnt exactly sound like a very trust worthy person."
    I don't agree with this conclusion. Everything she asked for was with a "please." Where do you think that came from?

    I think BRT orchestrated everything, except the second device inspection. This was an exercise in expanding boundaries as comfortably as possible.

    M, It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend.
    SFD
     
  3. mobico69
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    mobico69 Long term member

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    I'm fucked..My wife found out about me servicing Therisa last night, and she is pissed; serious pissed..I'm fucked.

    About 10ok tonight, Therisa sent a text to my wife, thanking her for the weekend, and saying 'say thank you to M for a great night last night'. My wife was like "What does that mean?" and I stumbled, so she called Therisa, who, after a few go arounds, spilled the beans. My wife didn't take it well..She's very upset.

    She says I cheated on her with her. I tried to explain that I was put into a catch 22 situation, but she had none of it.

    And seriously, this isn't about chastity, or slavery or whatever, this is the real stuff.. She doesn't want to talk to me..I'm not sleeping in the room, and I just before she told me to 'fuck off', she told me 'where not ok'.

    So fuck. This sucks. :-( I'm freaking out. I'm worried aout our relationship. Arrrgg...

    M
     
  4. Sillyfemdude
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    Sillyfemdude Active member

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  5. rschulz00
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    rschulz00 Member

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    Somehow I see this going towards the only way to make it right is if she gets to fool around. I've seen this story too many times.
     
  6. slaveboymiami
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    slaveboymiami Junior Member

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    This is why I stated that Therisa doesnt sound like a very trustworthy person.

    What kind of person would hit on a best friend's husband?
     
  7. chastitylocked
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    chastitylocked Junior Member

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    I guess my first question would be is she as mad at Therisa as she is at you?
     
  8. sonicmerlin
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    sonicmerlin Member

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    Wow what an event. Best thing to do is give her space and let her cool down. No mentioning of anything bdsm, chastity, etc. no matter what. Hopefully she'll cool down after some days (or weeks), and then take her anger out on you by say locking you in the cage for a long time. Better that she gets some sadistic "vengeance" on you rather than bottling up the emotions of feeling like you wronged her, while feeling like she has no recourse.

    But yeah, you're probably going to get annoyed at her after a while and feel like her behavior and reaction is disproportional to what happened, but just do whatever you can to "butter her up". In other words don't give her a reason to redirect her anger from Therisa (which is where it should probably be directed at) to you. Hopefully she'll realize she brought in Therisa and told her everything about her and your lifestyle, and understand the blame ultimately doesn't lie on you. Although that's long term.
     
  9. slaveboymiami
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    slaveboymiami Junior Member

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    I assume that she is pissed off at both. Just because she told her friend about the relationship and encouraged her to have him make drinks for her doesnt mean that they should be making sexual advances on each other.

    Ms. Suz and Cathy or whatever know about the relationship and have each dominated him but neither has tried to make a move on him (except for the Cathy blow job which was done in front of and with consent from the wife.)

    this is wrong on many fronts. Therisa I am sure is a douche bag of a person. She treats you like crap since you married your wife and then when she experiences this awesome new loving relationship you guys have then she hits on you.

    Bottom line, if M and Therisa thought this was A-OK then there would be nothing to hide and Therisa could have giggled about this then next morning with her friend over coffee. Instead she sends your wife a cryptic message about a "thank you for last night". I wouldnt be surprised is she is trying to ruin a good thing.

    I advise you to kiss her ass and go out of your way to make this right. You made a mistake like all men do so you need to grovel. In any case your wife should see her "friend" for what she is.

    Wish you well.
     
  10. rschulz00
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    rschulz00 Member

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    Unless ... it's all a put on of course.

    Either a conspiracy between the wife and Therise to put mobico in a position of being forced to accept that the wife now should be able to sex up other men as quid pro quo (and he better like it or else he doesn't get the key back from Ms. Suzi).

    Or Mobico is just weaving a story for us all but either way my guess is that it will result in the wife getting to fool around with others.
     
  11. dboy
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    dboy Junior Member

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    I'm confused as to where your wife was while this was going on. A massage, etc would take a bit of time and it sounds like Therisa was a kind of loud. So your wife was all alone for this time, didn't hear anything or wonder where everyone was, sounds funny to me. Also, you didn't say if Therisa asked for it, or if you made the first move. I don't think Therisa is much of a trusted friend and now she knows all about you.

    This is so sad as your excellent behavior should have granted you many points with your wife. Now it's all down the drain.
     
  12. mobico69
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    mobico69 Long term member

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    Shit day. I've thought about nothing all day but this. My wife had nothing for me in the AM; she didn't even get out of her room while I was getting ready for work. Then, I texted her a few times during the day and no response.

    I borrowed some money at work (I don't have any!!!) and got her some flowers, and when I got home, I tried to 'greet her' , but she staired at her computer, and said "I really don't want to be around you right now" :-( I offered to lock myself in the cage?, but she told me it was probably better if I wasn't around. So I spent the night at the movie theater, and then waiting till now to come home, when I knew she would be asleep.

    My heart is tugging. I feel so stupid. I wish I could take it back. I'm pissed at her at the same time, and fuming at that bitch, Therisa. She just pulled me in and fucked me over. I'm sure she did that on purpose.

    I have no idea if my wife sees this. But I do know, and am filled with fear about her support group. I know she's been talking to suzanne, and cathy, and yes..Thanks a fraking lot rschulz, your hitting on a major fear. I'd actually appreciate it if you didn't sound off about how now she 'gets to fool around'. I don't know if you've ever been in a relationship where you screwed up so much that shit can go majorly wrong, but it doesn't help to hear that. And if my wife and Therisa planned this out, then fuck; I have some serious concerns about my wife's state of mind..but I know that's not the case.

    Anyway, yes..good advice everyone; just hunker down and kiss ass; but right now thats all I want to do but she's not letting me. Thats what really hurts, is that she's feeling so upset and I can't comfort her, or talk to her, or whatever..I really want to talk to her. This sucks...

    And to top it off, I have to sleep in the same freaking bed that the bitch slept in, and I haven't washed her sheets..THe pillows smell like her. Arg..

    Yea..I'm worried.. I doubt she'd seperate or divorce me over something like this, I mean we've been through too much to have this episode ruin our relationship..And yes..she did sort of set me up with this freaking please shit..WHat did she expect..I was in a catch 22 with her..She better be pissed at Therisa..Arg..this suck..

    M
     
  13. 2inch
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    2inch chasity,its for my own good

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    I guess just leave her b for now give her the spae she wants nothing else u can do,i must say this story is very interesting
     
  14. Sillyfemdude
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    Sillyfemdude Active member

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    M
    I feel your pain. Is today your payday? How have you been handling your pay check?
    SFD
     
  15. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i think i'd just cry. it seems to me that Therisa is just out to ruin your relationship, cos She's jealous of what your Mistress has got. It all boils down to how much your Mistress loves you as to whether She will eventually forgive you. i do hope She does, cos it would be such a shame if Therisa's horrible ways have succeeded. Lots of love. jem.
     
  16. rschulz00
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    rschulz00 Member

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    Go back and re-read your own story. Your wife has slowly and steadily beaten you down by getting angry over some matter and then stepping the game to the next level to erode your role. It's a little late to be worried about your wife's pattern of behavior in this.

    You have already accepted your role as nothing more than a worm in her life that she would rather have locked up in a cage for most of your free time than with her. Don't shoot the messenger.

    You are writing this story, not me.
     
  17. mrsj
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    mrsj Junior Member

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    First, I've followed this thread from the beginning and have enjoyed your journey.

    I've never felt compelled to comment until now. IMO, your wife should be as upset with herself as she is with you and 10x more upset with Therisa. Your wife set the "rules" and you followed them as you are supposed to given your d/s relationship. Yes you probably could have used better judgement but Therisa baited you by using the rules that your wife set and then basically spilled the beans.

    To me it is a bit disturbing that she is talking to cathy and suz about this. At this point, I think you need to step out of the d/s relationship and tackle this issue as a husband and wife. If you are going to disccuss it with an outside party, if should be with someone who is qualified to manage relationships, not your local domme.
     
  18. Glassweaver
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    Glassweaver Member

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    Im going to second what mrsj said. As enthralling as the story of your life has been, and as much as I've LOVED reading every single detail about it, your wife EXPLICITLY told you, AS A SEX SLAVE, that you where to do ANYTHING Therisa told you to, or to face punishment.

    Your wife has trained you to know that failing to do things without question also equals punishment. This, plus telling you to do anything, without setting limits (I.e. if she asks you to do anything sexual, you're excused) is your wifes fault. As a sub/ 24/7 slave, over the last few YEARS she has conditioned you to not ask questions, or clarify, or anything like that (but to simply do as you're told). So if she gives you a command to do whatever Therisa wants you to do, you would have been acting out of form/her understood wishes to *not* comply on the spot.

    If your wife has anyone to be angry at, it's herself. She doesn't listen to you when you want to talk to her as an equal about things, and now she's mad at you because of her mistake. You've got to talk to her about this as an equal, and explain all of this to her. If she won't listen, you might need to spend some time apart, even destroying the cage if you must to prove that you have to get past this as equals.
     
  19. Sillyfemdude
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    Sillyfemdude Active member

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    M
    I agree with Glassweaver, except I might show some empathy in communicating. Like, " Honey, I know you're hurting and am sorry this has happened, but I acted exactly as you trained me. Please have my chastity belt removed, without consequences, until we can work through this. I love you and will help us get through this anyway I can."
    SFD
     
  20. billyboi
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    billyboi Junior Member

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    IMHO you have been set up. Your wife will now use this as an excuse to cuckold you and the final die will be cast. My money says she knew what was going to happen all along and is playing you. Just my opinion.
     
  21. sonicmerlin
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    sonicmerlin Member

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    Lol some of you guys are *really* obsessed with cuckolding. It's just not going to happen.

    And mobico, hate to say it but I told ya not to mention or do anything related to bdsm or femdom. You set yourself up to be hurt. On the other hand, you don't need to worry about your wife's "state of mind". When life goes awry of course you begin to doubt whether you *really* understood things as they were, but that self-doubt is nonsense. Just your brain having spasms or something. The special relationship you have with your wife and the femdom lifestyle is mutual.

    She's not going to do anything that you would both regret. IMO it seems like it's good she's consulting with Suz and Cathy for advice. They might help her understand the position you were put in, and help her avoid bottling up her emotions.

    Or not. I guess we'll find out.
     
  22. is_randy
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    is_randy Member

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    My condolences at the turn of events. :-( (And sorry my response is belated...)

    I know you don't need to hear more "advice", but if I may, your wife is upset. She is upset at you, at herself, at Therisa, at the situation, at chastity, at Ms. Suz, at EVERYTHING.

    She has let you know she needs space. This is a GOOD thing in my opinion. She needs to recover and go through some grieving for her situation before she can address the topic. This is healthy, this is part of healing, this is good. Bad would be her lashing out in an emotional state.

    I'm afraid I'll disagree with some former postings, I wouldn't claim you were trained and she told you to obey any please request, as that's just laying blame on her--she assumed Therisa wouldn't cross a line, she assumed you wouldn't cross a line, and she assumed the situation wouldn't "go there". She's now upset because she was obviously wrong, and her trust was betrayed, her trust in her "best" friend, her trust in her husband, and her trust in herself--regarding her beliefs.

    So in my opinion, help her. Give her space. Do not challenge her or defend yourself. Although technically you did nothing wrong, you also did something wrong. Although technically Therisa did something very wrong, she's not there to accept her blame. Although your wife did something wrong, she did so in ignorance and is paying the biggest price for her mistake.

    It will all work out well in the end for your wife and you (not so much for your wife and Therisa IMO), but in the meantime, you'll go through the emotional wringer supporting each other through this. Traps to watch out for? "Did you want to do that with her?" "I'm sorry but I didn't consider my wants, I just performed." (Don't say "...I just performed automatically" or "...I just followed her command" as that indirectly accuses your wife.)

    Best wishes through this trying time! My condolences what had been going so well turned so sour. :/
     
  23. mobico69
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    mobico69 Long term member

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    Thank you everyone; for your support and advice! Very good, most of it.

    Thursday I didn't bother going back to the house after work. I cashed my check, bought a 6pack, and made my way to a place I know to think. It wasn't about how to deal with my wife, or what I should do about her being so upset. I spent most of the time thinking about how the hell I could put my face between Therisa's legs and lick her to an orgasm. The image of her sitting over me kept racking into my mind. And I wanted to think about how I got there.

    I also wanted to think about how my wife and I are supposed to move beyond this. I thought about the fun we were having, and the things I loved about the relationship, and even some of the things I didn't like. Honestly, I really couldn't think about anything I hated. Even sitting in my cage let me think and clear my head, plus I was always horney as hell down there.

    Anyway, by dark I had made a decision, and that was to get out of the role I've been in for over a year. Yes..I'm out.

    When I got home, my wife was sleeping, so I crashed in the guest bed (sheets washed, thank you!).

    Anyway, Friday I came home, 1/2 expecting Ms. Suz to be there, but she wasn't. I walked in, clothed, and my wife just looked at me. I told her we needed to talk, and she just said "I don't want to talk about Therisa". But I stood my ground told her it wasn't about that, and she said "Speak"

    I basically just told her I'm done playing chastity slave. That I needed to get myself back, and though I loved most of what we did; and her deeply, I was very upset about how I actually did what I did with Therisa. I could see right away she was taken aback. I think she realized that it was over but didn't want to deal with it....She just humfed, as women do, and got her stuff and left. Resoved, I said screw it, and hung out all night. By 11 she stil wasn't home, so I hit the sack in our bedroom. Fuck it. I'm done, I was thinking.

    Sure enough, in the AM when I woke up, she wasn't there. I checked, and sure enough, she decided to sleep in the guest room. I figured that was cool since she didn't make scene when she got home.

    I made her breakfast, and we talked. Same stuff as before, but I think what really put the clarity around the reality of the situation was when she said "I'm not sure I'm ready to let you out". I just said "Its not up to you. If I have to go to Home Depot and get a drimmel and spend the day cutting this damn thing off, then that is what I'll do. And that was that.

    Keep in mind, she didn't have the key, so she promised to get it from Ms. Suz last night, cause she still wanted to go to the party. I told her fine, but if she got drunk, she's got to make her own way home.

    Anyway, I crashed early Sat night while she was out, and sure enough, in the AM, she was in the bed.

    Around noon, after SHE made me lunch, she told me she'd unlock me at 6pm. But she also told me that even though I was being unlocked, that didn't mean that I could start jerking off all the time, or that I wouldn't do the house work. I pushed back a little, and but agreed that I'd share the load (so to speak;lol)

    Then, at 6pm, we had the ceremony; in which I was released ;-) She came in key in hand, naked, and undid the lock. As soon as she took it off, she handed the device, and key to me and basically told me that if I ever asked to put it back on, it was gonig to be under her terms. I was like "Your terms? the whole thing was under your terms!";

    Anyway, she then gave me a mojor blow job; and then jumped on top of me for another amazing orgasm. Though this time I won't have to wait for her permission to get another :)))

    SO, I'm free, and plan to stay that way. This is going to be good to get back into a normal relationship with her again; though its going to be a little weird at first.

    I'm really pleased that we didn't even really talk about Therisa, though I can tell you that my wife is really super pissed at her. She effectivly ruined the good thing my wife had. I don't know how they are gonig to get along after this. ;but I really don't care.

    I'm just happy that we are together. I wonder if I'm going to miss the things that I did day in and out. My wife doesn't want me to just yet undo the basement. She's still thinking that I'll go in. She wants me to get a new Lori device with a piercing if I ask her again. But I'm no where near that.

    Again, everyone, I'll pop on to update on how its going, but for now, I'm out of chastity, and free to play in any way I want..

    Yea..!!!!

    M
     
  24. Glassweaver
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    Glassweaver Member

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    Just remember that you're going to want to go back in at some point! ;) and she's going to want you to go back in. (And that sadly/not so sadly, a PA still won't stop a dremmel from doing the job in 10 minutes flat. Short of chaining you to the basement/mass-array of dog collars, radio fence, and no tools for removal in the perimeter...you can always get out)

    Anyway, when that day comes, I'm not advocating topping from the bottom, but maybe start in a switch role so she can see what its like? There's a couple on another forum much likes this one who switch roles once in a while. They have an anything-goes conversation once a month where they set/redefine their boundaries/hard limits, likes/dislikes, etc. They've broken the 2 year mark and not once have I seen a post where they've had a single problem!

    I'm glad everything is going well now though, and that you where able to explain everything to her and that you guys got through it!
     
  25. 2inch
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    2inch chasity,its for my own good

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    U threated to cut ur way out! Thats 30 days in the cage bread / water only ! Just kidding hope it all settles over time shes not ready for u to b free or the dungon to b tore down so next time some more detailed rules should apply thats all
     
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