The Random Journal

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Jasmic68, Aug 23, 2018.

Random Thread
  1. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I have decided to start a new journal as it has been so long since I regularly updated my last one. This has been for a variety of reasons, all the usual ones such as illness, travel and just being too busy. But it is also been due to the way that my Wife, Elle, uses chastity has changed, and my experience of being a chaste male has also changed. I am still trying to work out how to put my thoughts into a journal, or even if I want to continue keeping a journal.

    The one thing that keeps me going is the occasional comment from someone saying that they appreciate my honest approach to chastity. Given the recent crisis caused by finding out one of the long term female members of The Mansion was in fact a male I can see honesty is even more important than it possibly was before. I started this approach as I was trying to be honest with myself after an intense period where honesty had been forgotten and almost led to a catastrophic end to my marriage.

    Being chaste is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart. I am sure that transitioning from someone who came to chastity from a fantasy to someone who is truly chaste is not at all easy. I did not come to this from a fantasy, it was a suggestion I had to try and save my marriage and despite what you hear about this never working for us it has worked, and then some. Our marriage is stronger now than it has ever been. I am still on a journey, discovering more about what I started three years ago. Despite the length of time we have been doing this I would still class myself as a beginner.

    Before I start a few pieces of background information.

    I asked my Wife to lock me in a chastity device back in October 2015, not as part of a fantasy but as a practical way to hide a modification to my penis that I had started a few months earlier. The device would serve as a reminder that my Wife did not like the modification, even though she had given permission for me to do it, and would prevent me from carrying on with the process. I have a bisected glans and a small subincision. I had intended to continue with the subincision and perhaps even a full splitting of my penis. Having lived with the results of the modification for a few years I now am very glad my Wife put a stop to the process and I wish I had not gone as far with the process as I had.

    At first our use of chastity was led by me, in that I had to prove to my Wife that wearing a device was practical and would not cause me any injury. The way that my Wife came to enjoy me being chaste was totally her journey. Her control of me and the way she used it was her journey too. Her approach is a slow one, and not something she needs much help with from other keyholders. She has read a few guides and has taken some ideas from Chastity themed Tumblr's, but on the whole what she does and how she does it is completely her own idea.

    One example of this is the length of my periods of denial. When we started this would usually be a few days between orgasms. The main difference was I only got them when she said I could have them. This would be a critical development to both of us. After a while my length of denial periods stretched to a week, then to two weeks, then to a month. After a while, by the second year of our chastity life, I realised that my periods of denial were about two months long. This year this has now stretched even further. As of writing this I have had one orgasm this year, back in May. I therefore no longer have an average length of time between orgasms.

    A new development is that Elle enjoys giving me a chance of having an orgasm with the odds stacked against one happening. While I have only had one full orgasm I have been given four opportunities where I could have had an orgasm but for some reason didn't get that far. A knock on effect is this year I have already had the same amount of wet dreams as I did in the whole of last year, even though it is only August. Essentially my body gets to the point where it decides it needs to evacuate my balls and prostate and I have what is a self inflicted ruined orgasm.

    A separate development from my chastity is the change of our marriage to an FLR. The fact that I had to submit to my Wife as keyholder was something I realised very quickly. Basically I knew that if I was going to not try to escape the device or make myself cum whenever I wanted, I had to actually believe that she had the right to lock me up. More importantly she had to believe it too. This has been critical to the success we have enjoyed and the times we have rocked in our resolve has been one either of us has had an issue with the development of the FLR. The times when Elle has doubted her control have been the worst, and I have had to be gentle as a submissive husband and hep her realise that this is good for both of us.

    We don't have enormous amounts of sex. We don't include other people in our relationship. I am not a cuckold, she is not interested in having sex with other people. She doesn't tie me up or whip me and I don't get pegged or edged. I don't get told to lick her on a daily basis, and she is a one orgasm type of gal. If she had an orgasm yesterday then she is unlikely not to want one today and she has never had a multiple orgasm in her life. The record we have of consecutive days in which she had an orgasm was four days in a row, and she has decreed that she has no interest in trying to equal or surpass this any time soon.

    So I will not be writing many exciting stories detailing incredible sex sessions. In fact I won't be going into any sort of detail of the sex we have at all. I will mention the topic as it is obviously a very important one, and the way Elle's need for sex has developed over the past three years shows no sign of stopping and has been a truly incredible revelation.

    So, what have we been up to recently?
     
  2. OscartheTurtle
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    I appreciate the honesty. In my own journal my goal has been to be open and honest about my experiences, even if they come across as dull to some people.
     
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  3. slave stroppy
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    slave stroppy senior member

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    what a fascinating tempter i cannot wait to read more. its so refreshing to hear a really straight talking account of how someone got involved in this lifestyle choice and the impact it has had on both parties without being obsessed with details. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  4. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active Member

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    Relationships like yours are an example to people who want to convince their partner that chastity isn't always some gateway to a land of never ending kink. They might not be the most exciting to the reader, but they are probably more useful than the more extreme relationships which fuel the fantasies of those not living them.
     
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  5. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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  6. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Active Member

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    Nice to hear from you again!
     
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  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I love reading other journals on the Mansion, comparing what other people are getting up to and considering my own experiences to theirs. When I read someone write that what they were doing was ’normal, well, normal for us’, it always makes me smile. I know exactly what they mean.

    For instance, my Wife has a ‘problem’ that I cannot imagine many of my friends have encountered in their relationships. Obviously I don’t know as for the majority of them I don’t actually know what their ‘normal’ is. Her problem is working out when to spank my bottom.

    The problem is at a certain level of pain I like it. Obviously a full on disciplinary spanking isn’t going to be fun at all, but Elle isn’t into that level of domination anyway. At the strongest level she is willing to inflict, I get aroused.

    What is wrong with that? She won’t spank me when I have been bad because I like it and she isn’t going to reward me for being bad. She doesn’t want to spank me when I have been good because I have been good!

    I don’t actually understand why being spanked by my Wife turns me on. It doesn’t exactly make much sense, but I also don’t care. Last night, in the shower, I was already very aroused after washing Elle’s back and bottom, and then having my own back and bottom thoroughly washed and played with by Elle.

    Elle had finished showering the soap off of me when all of a sudden she gave my backside a really good slap. As I said I was already aroused, but the slap nearly had me in a heap on the floor.

    The answer is obviously quite simple. She spanks me when the urge takes her. I have added it to the list of things I would ask her to do on the rare occasions she lets me choose an evenings adtivities.
     
  8. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I have written a lot about the escalation I have experienced in the way my Wife has pushed my terms of denial. Back when we started, just short of three years ago, she would deny my orgasm for a few weeks at a time and this slowly extended until my average denial period was a few months. In the second year of our use of chastity she allowed me the grand total of five orgasms, and the same amount in the second year. 10 orgasms in 24 months, about one orgasm ever 2 months and 12 days (as an average, the actual terms fluctuated.)

    This year I have had one orgasm. One. In May. A period of denial just short of five months. To say she has got used to denying me orgasms is an obvious understatement. But now it isn't the only escalation I have experienced. Now the length of time I am being locked up has started to get longer.

    When we started I wore several devices that were unmitigated disasters. All of them were bought from online sex toy sellers such as Lovehoney and Uberkinky. I am afraid that none of these online stores had any more of an idea of what a good chastity device was than I did and I wasted several hundred pounds trying to find one that fit. One of them even fell off altogether, luckily as I was walking up my stairs at home, and another literally tried to chew my balls off leaving me with permanent scars on my scrotum.

    The saviour of the day was the genuine Holy Trainer v2 that I bought direct from the manufacturer. It fit, it was 'comfortable.' After a year it no longer fit quite so well as a result of my scrotum stretching, so I bought a new, tighter ring, and all was pretty good. It helped my Wife get used to the sight of me wearing a chastity device and was the reason that in about a year or so she truly became my Keyholder. The issue with the HTv2 was I needed to be allowed out of it at least weekly and in the summer probably twice to allow cleaning. The problem was the smell could get pretty bad due to the enclosed nature of the device along with the material it was made out of. More than once I couldn't be locked up again for a few days while issues such as sores or heat/moisture rashes were allowed to heal.

    Just as we approached the end of the second full year of this chastity life I suddenly developed a rash that wouldn't heal, and it became evident that I had somehow developed a kind of allergy to the device. Not willing to quit I bought a metal device from China, a fraction of the price of the devices I had started with. The first model was way too tight, but a second attempt found me a device that fit that was more open than the HTv2 and suited my Wife's requirements.

    I experienced a new edge to my chastity this past weekend when it became clear that I was not going to be unlocked. This meant that by today, Monday, I would have been locked up for 15 days straight. I cannot remember a time when I had spent two weekends in a row locked up. I pointed this out to my Wife and her response was that when she had asked me how the device felt, I had said there was no issues. This then made her think that I would not need to be let out so often.

    I think I know where this is going. I will be unlocked at some point and she will check to see if there are any sores or problems due to the device. The same length of lock up will then be applied a few times, and then if there are no issues it will lengthen again. I don't know how long these periods of lock up will become, but if it does follow the route of my terms of orgasm denial....

    Well, as I just wrote, I think I know where this is going!
     
  9. OscartheTurtle
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    Your journey has been incredible! 10 orgasms in 2 years. :+1:

    The summer heat issues have been having an impact on me too. Rashes that come from not getting a removal/cleaning often enough. I have a couple of metal cages on the way and with the cooler weather coming hopefully this will abate.
     
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  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    She was somewhat similar, but it wasn’t a switch from plastic to steel, it was the switch to pierced.

    Once it healed, device was a perfect fit, and I no longer had any sores or rashes, she didn’t have any practical reason for its removal so didn’t think about it. Before I might say it was getting a rash and it would be removed and maybe played with, or at the very least I would be free to get an erection.
     
  11. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    Elle unlocked me from my device yesterday, the first time in 20 days. This is the longest I have ever been locked up and it really did add a new dimension to all of this chastity lifestyle. Being unlocked regularly and then allowed to have a rest from my device meant I could still have regular erections. In a way it is the wonderful feel of a fully stretched erect penis that I miss more than orgasms.

    What is also new is that because there was absolutely no evidence of any problem with my penis the device was put back on before I went back to bed. I know I am going to be out of the device in two weeks as we are on a long haul flight, but I also know that for the three weeks we are on holiday I am to be locked up.

    Elle had thought about letting me go unlocked for the entire holiday but, as we are going to be away for three weeks she decided that this was ‘a bit excessive’. The answer, I will be locked up throughout the trip.

    It would appear that it will be at least late October before I have another chance of having an orgasm. Elle doesn’t mess around with this denial stuff.
     
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  12. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    This is exactly how I feel -- I miss the erections more than the orgasms. I'm at 7 orgasms since 2017-01-01, but the times I remember most are the 25-35 day lockups with no erections. She's permitted erection three weekends in a row, but I see Locktober looming and know that fully stretched feeling will soon be denied too.
     
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  13. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    @Jasmic68 I thank you for your honesty. I find it difficult sometimes
    to put into words how things change and the way they just do as we
    move on in our lives. I think the changes aren't really seen to you look
    back.

    I never started a journal because I never thought I would have that much
    to write about. I guess it is more that maybe monthly updates would be
    a better choice. Things have changed for us in the last year in many ways
    that to me have gone by without much notice, till I looked back.

    It's funny to say I know exactly what they mean. As we have all seen our relationships
    are as unique as we all are. Some how there is thread between this lifestyle that does
    join us together in ways we can't explain. We may have all started off for different reasons,
    and yet the path becomes very similar.

    Ours started with me just wanting to show Her she would always be the only one. I had no
    real fantasy. We had fun and after 5.5 years She found She wanted to make sure there
    would be no others. I have no problems with how things are and am very happy with the
    intimacy we have and ability to share our deepest thoughts. Just wanted to say this life is
    so different you never know what will come up next.:+1:
     
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  14. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    Thank you @Allen1987. Your insight into why you started and the motivation behind what you do is exactly what I find interesting reading other blogs. As for honesty, in a way I suppose that is part of my ‘fetish’. When I write I try to include as much of my experience as I can without revealing too much of our personal lives (anonymity is crucial to my Wife) but I try not to filter out too much. In a way I am making my journal less honest simply by leaving out all the boring stuff.

    As for reading other people’s journals the instant I get a whiff of doubt about the truth of what they are writing I am no longer interested. There are a few journals I read who appear to be hovering on what I would consider fantastical but the fact they keep the story consistent over months and don’t forget details makes me think they are possibly embellishing their experiences but are still close to the truth. The problem I have with the ones who are not honest is they can leave people feeling jealous and wanting more than is feasible. Cuckold fantasists are amongst the worst at this as I feel the reality of watching someone else have sex with your partner is very different to what these people seem to think.
     
  15. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I think my Wife prefers my ‘new’ erections. The way that the root of my penis, the area between my legs, gets hard and makes my device jut out away from my body gives her a lot of pleasure. It’s her favourite area to stimulate and I swear she plays with it far more than she ever played with my penis.
     
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  16. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    It still shocks me to look at my chastity ticker and to see how long she has made me wait this time. Four months. I want an orgasm so much.

    I asked her last night what she would do if I begged for an orgasm. Unlike what you see in chastity porn on Tumblr, where the women always smile, or laugh, or sternly tell you that you’ve just earned yourself another day (day!!!) of lockup, Elle just told me she would get annoyed and tell me to shut up.

    She just doesn’t play by ‘the rules’!

    (/s, in case anyone was wondering!)
     
  17. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Well-Known Member

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    Know what you mean about cuckolding! It is so fraught with danger! The fact is we just could not and would not share each other. I find the dynamic of this sort of thing totally alien! Having said that I love reading the threads! I do wonder how much truth there is sometimes and how much is fantasy! Of course some couples really do live the lifestyle and enjoy it so that's fine. A fascinating subject all round. I remember once looking for a holiday in Mexico and we came upon a hotel advertised as "adult only". Great we thought no kids! At least that is what adult only means in Europe! Upon reading the reviews we discovered it was a swingers hotel! Clearly there is a market for it or else they wouldn't exist! So we moved swiftly on! Live and let live but its definitely not for us!!!
     
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  18. Joey love
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    Joey love Active Member

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    After catching up on the last few posts I have to agree that sharing with other partners would not be an option for us in real life but does make for a wonderful fantasy. Being new to this and being in a pretty vanilla relationship makes me wonder about the truthfulness of many stories and probably jealous of a few as well. Well maybe not jealous, but certainly envious. Some are so fantastical that they just can’t be true. Then I remember I am on a pretty specific fetish site and maybe these folks are really living their stories. Either way I try and take them at face value.
    I do get a lot of very good insight from some of them and can relate with some as well.
     
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