The Permanent Chastity/Denial Matrix

Caged - we rarely use cages, but had some fun with them the last few days.

I really don't know how to rate my own "denial". I've been denied masturbation for a very long time, to the point where it could be called permanent. I'm not allowed MB anymore, for years now. She'll give me a ruined HJ 1-2 times per month. PIV is the only type of full orgasm I'm allowed, and that's been 0-2 times per month for a long time. We play with idea of permanent PIV denial, but that seems unlikely, but so did permanent denial of MB once. She's also liked "control" more than "denial" at points. She enjoys making me experience a ruined orgasm. She won't give me non-ruined HJ's anymore, going on almost two years.

How does all of this get put into a number?

 

@shannonsanders, I think that is indeed a difficult one. For sure C=1.

The D score is indeed more difficult. As I guess your better half will decide when you have an orgasm, I think you may rate this as D=4.

Any other thoughts?

 

Yeah, I guess that is why I don't love the matrix. Everyone has their own thing. The nuances and relationship aspects are what hold my interest, over numbers. I've even tried to let go of "its been X days since Y happened" because my wife doesn't want to hear about it.

The long list of things that have or could be taken away besides orgasms holds my attention more right now (MB, HJ, BJ, PIV, physical pleasure itself), and it all falls under the umbrella of "erotic denial" for me. She seems to love ruined orgasms too much to take them away right now...the other stuff...who knows...

 

first off this is brilliant, Great idea! glad I found it.

As for the zero/zero, and not being many on this site, I disagree, I know, I’m new here, but I’m fairly confident in saying that our Key Holders are 0/0 - which, in my humble opinion, is what make the 10/10 a goal worth striving for.

 

Lady C and I compared notes on the matrix the other night to see how close our estimates were.

We were close on the C index and agreed on my initial estimate of 4.75. Don't take down these numbers until you get to the end of this post. I'm locked for more than a lot more than a couple of days a week, but not at roughly half the time.

On the D index it was a lengthy discussion and whilst my initial estimate was 8, Lady C seemed to think we it should be 2. Quite a difference of opinion.

To save everybody scrolling back through the old posts, or does everyone have this stuck on their refrigeration door now, I'll put the D definitions here.

Lady C said D=2 (orgasm rarely denied). I said even when I'm not caged I'm not free to masturbate or demand an orgasm, so its got to be way more than a 2. A quick review of the last three months was one HJ from Lady C, resulting in an orgasm, but she stopped very quickly so that _could_ be put down as a ruin and two ruins whilst caged. Then there was a lot of teasing resulting in denial.

We think that's not a 6, but more a 7. It could also be an eight based on I'm not allowed to masturbate whilst not caged and then we got to being over analytical.

So that brings me to the next post in our discussion. Does denied mean no orgasms at all, or just one that I want? And if Lady C wants me to have one then it's not being denied? Time to get another glass of wine....

The upshot is that Lady C has settled on D = 7 and says I should be grateful for what I get.

Then she went back to look at the C index and thought that a C = 8 was now more appropriate. "Eight?", I asked. "Yes", she replied, that's where you are now. "I don't see any reason why you can't be locked for anything else except than medical or travel, can you?". "Hmmm, what exactly would be acceptable for etc?". "Well, I have the keys so I'll be deciding".

So upgraded to [C,D] := [8,7] and the moral of that overly long post is don't discuss evil chastity matrices with your keyholder when she's feeling in a obsessively controlling mood.

 

Wow! This has taken off recently, as it rightly should! And, in the interests of statistical data:

Since 19 Feb 2020 i have been in and locked. In total, 3 hours out in that time, no time out since 19 May for any reason. On that basis, i would place myself tentatively around 8 on the caged axis.

Since 31 January 2020 i have had 14 Os. Two of those were uncaged (16 and 18 Feb) but the rest have been caged. As i have no KH and, despite dreaming, no real prospect of gaining one, there's only me doing the denying. Frankly, once i start, it's likely to end in O - the trick is in not starting. Despite a pretty solid start after 19 Feb (no O until 24 March) i have been rather pants lately. On that basis, i would place myself tentatively around the 3 or 4 mark on the denied axis. We'll go with the lower number and say 3.

One final note: my wife is not interested at all in sex with me or anyone else. Around now i'm hitting four years since our last effort.

So, let's simplify: Caged = 8; Denial = 3 or, if you prefer: [8,3]

EDIT - numbers are fine, it's reading with which i struggle!

 

I think denied means just an orgasm that your better half wants....What I want in respect of an Orgasm is not important I learned recently...

Update of today, most guys are at the sweetspot 8,7 now

 

Thank you for plotting the graphs. It is interesting to see how many are in the upper right quadrant.

 

Forums obviously have their limitations and now with Covid it’s even harder to get out and talk about what people do. Whether it’s words or numbers, there are limitations. Brains work differently, when I see “X,
X”, my mind glazes over. I could only imagine if I tried to explain the matrix to my wife.

I get why the matrix works for some people.

I am ok with ambiguity. If someone is patient, and takes the time to communicate, it can be really interesting to hear about what they do and their experiences even if words and numbers are imprecise.

I don’t mind hearing details of why someone uses the word “permanent”. It is why I come here.

 

Just Excel Tom!

 

Bet they don't have that in the examples of how to use Excel

 

Thanks to all who have contributed to this thread. Special thanks to Tom for providing a graphical interpretation for us to collectively calibrate. It has certainly been thought provoking. Lots of good dialog.

I enjoy being able to "put a face to the name" so to speak for the regulars here at CM. Although this feature could become unwieldy as the numbers increase. The good news is that the a greater sample size makes it more meaningful from a statistical point of view.

 

Some corrections done, this seems to be the final one for now.

 

Excellent work @elias Think I'll print this out for Lady C's picture gallery.

 

Brilliant work there! Thank you and huge thanks to everyone in this thread for creating a matrix and providing data. Especially so doing without it turning into that very male thing of outdoing one another! Great job guys!

Seriously loving the community vibe here!

 

The y-axis D-score is subjective between KH and CT ("cock transporter" since you carry it around), and graphs nicely, so even if my "rarely" isn't the same as someone else's "rarely" it's both "rarely" in our minds and works.

But, if someone needs a more objective ahem, score, I'll propose the DR - denial rating - as an augmented score.

It's a number, which represents the average number of orgasms the CT will be granted per year, with several modifiers that can be tacked on:

Rxx : represents the percentage of orgasms that are ruined. So someone who has an orgasm every month, but half of them are ruined, would be 12-R50

Cxx : percentage of orgasms that happen while still fully caged.

E : Indicated frequently edged without being allowed orgasm

P : indicated permission to orgasm must be requested from the KH

H : indicated orgasms often (or always) include some element of humiliation (e.g. eating cum)

V : wild Variation in time between granted orgasms. CT is never sure when being edged if he'll cum or not

M : indicated milked as a regular part of chastity

K : Not allowed to orgasm inside Keyholder

So, for me, I'd say I'm: 20-R67-C67-E-P (when playing)

I'm regularly edged while caged, have to ask permission to orgasm, and am typically granted permission every 2-3 weeks, but only 1 out of every 3 times will she actually take the cage off, leaving me ruined ones inside the cage the other times. When she does does take the cage off, it's usually to have me cum inside her. Timing is never predictable, but it's not wildly varying either.

 

It's a bit complicated at 2300. I'm going to read this again with a clear head tomoz

 

Been away for a while, late to this party. I'm at C9, D7

 

Absolutely - like I said, your y-axis is perfectly relative. If "rarely allowed an orgasm" is once a month for Neal, but once every couple of years for Bob, It's still the same for each of them. But they might not know how to answer. So my metric is meant to augment yours (think of it like the strap-on augmenting your... well, you know).

Though to be honest, all I'm really trying to do is give people the opportunity to add more letters to the ranking to celebrate the things they enjoy. "G" means I have to be gagged for an orgasm. "S" means I have to ask her sister for permissions. The thing I realized reading through "ruined" etc is that the ultimate measurement is how many of a guys kinky triggers are pulled in the course of a typical lockup.