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The many ways of Cuckolding

Discussion in 'Cuckolding' started by Metalman, Oct 6, 2017.

  1. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    I have had several conversations recently, with my KH and others, about monogamy and non-monogamy. It left me with a lack of terms to describe the different dynamics; I therefore started thinking about those dynamics, and what lays at the bottom of it....


    I thought I'd share those here. It is of course nowhere perfect, but it's a fun way to think about it. I'm interested in knowing what you guys think, and how your personal life relates to it ...

    For me, it all starts with excitement, at least from a male perspective. I think it's part of our reproductive functions to feel aroused when a woman is having sex, and probably a lot more so if she is the one we desire most!
    It's our primal animal programming.

    But we are humans as well with big brains that are good at trying to foresee the future and freaking out. So as a second layer, we have possessiveness, an extension of territoriality. A desperate effort to control what we cherish in hope not to lose it.

    So my baseline is that our partner having sex with others is really hot, but also scary so as to make us want to control the situation.

    Then perhaps we can define non-monogamy by who is in control.


    1. I'm in control, it scares the hell out of me, therefore I forbid it. Here, both are generally in control of one another, in a consented 2 ways alienation.
    2. I'm in control. It's scary but it's also really hot, so I will allow it, but I will have a word to say about everything: who, when, where, how... For example, it can't be Bob, I want it to be a 3some, not in our home, etc... the woman is to some degree a sexual object to the man's fantasies.
    3. She is in control; the woman has full control of her sexuality, and pursues her on agendas, fulfilling her needs and desires when, where and with whom she wants. The male might feel deep respect for her strength and love her for it, or adopt strategy #5. Or just struggle with jealousy... :confused:.
    4. He is in control ; a fantasy often mentioned in the Boudoir. We are back at #1 or #2 except the male in control is the lover, who acts a like an Alfa male. Not entirely sure how viable this is IRL, but I'm sure it exists. In this scenario, the original male is probably bottoming :oops:
    5. No one is in control ; I would call it the desexualization approach; things are just happening, no one has control over it. Let's live our lives and pretend like it's no big deal. This strategy will probably cut down the excitement attached to the all thing, but also help let go of control struggle, and possessiveness.

    There are probably other possibilities I haven't thought about, or combinations of the aforementioned ones.


    So which are you? :D
     
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  2. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    Thoughtful musing indeed! There are several forms of cuckolding and I have experience with two. The cuckold does not know that his wife is fucking another man or men. The husband knows, accepts it, but is not present while he is being cuckolded. And the husband accepts it and is present to watch. My first time as a bull was at a swingers party in California in the 70s where a man lay next to his wife (who was quite demure but insatiable) as she was gangbanged by a dozen of us. He told me that they did this every week and that it was a highlight of their marriage. The two men whom I cucked but who didn't know both ended up divorcing their wives, but it wasn't clear that the cuckolding was the reason.
     
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  3. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    I was in a similar situation as the two you mentioned that didn't know. I too am now divorced. It was very emasculating when I found out the real reason she so suddenly and drastically changed in the last months of our marriage. It went beyond cheating on me,she was following his rules and I couldn't figure out what was going on. He was in control of my marriage and I was clueless.
     
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  4. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    Is your ex-wife still involved with her bull? And how has your sex life changed?
     
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  5. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    Yes she is.
    My sex life is almost non existent. It was very emasculating to hear what happened. I guess it made me really insecure
     
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  6. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    My sympathies. Am curious -- how did you find your way to this site? Were you (or are you) interested in chastity?
     
  7. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    I found this site pretty randomly while doing some research.
    Never done chastity, I find it interesting though.
     
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  8. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    So my wife fantasizes about having multiple other sexual partners at the same time that don't include me. It is one of her favorite things to talk dirty about when I am pleasing her. She is adamant though that she wants this to remain a fantasy and not experience it in real life. I have encouraged her that I'm OK with it under the terms you described in scenario 3, but with some boundaries. It would be very hurtful to me if she lied to me and did it behind my back. I don't need to know everything, but I'd want some knowledge and information about what is going on. I would hope to be involved at some level, however that part would be in her control.
     
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  9. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    Yes it would be hurtful but if it happened she would always have the excuse that you wanted i . It is a slippery slope.
     
  10. sissyassslut
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    sissyassslut Active Member

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    My Wife/KH fantasizes about including a 3rd person (male) for us to share. She loves dressing me and making me up as a girl and now wants to find one to include. Her idea would be for me to act as fluff for a bull who would then take her once I got him hard. Her other is to include two males one for each of us. She admits that her biggest fantasy is to see me struggling with a big cock in my mouth while she or other takes me anally. She would love to see if I could handle two and get them both off at the same time filling me at both ends.
     
  11. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    That sounds like a lovely plan. As a former cocksucking bottom I can tell you than being spitroasted is absolute heaven.
     
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  12. sissyassslut
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    sissyassslut Active Member

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    That is what she is telling me...it sounds killer to me
     
  13. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Haven't been a cuck yet to or for my Miss, but I told her of both my fantasy and complete permission for her to engage with any woman or man she desires, so long as it wasn't behind my back. Asked her to include me if possible, but told her it was also OK even if she couldn't. I truly want her to experience and enjoy all the things this life has to offer. When we first talked about it maybe 3 or 4 years ago, the answer was always no way. Now she admits to fantasizing about it, just recently, although she still has indicated no plans to make it a reality. I believe that given more time with me being a better loving and committed sub, she might take the chance. If I were a cuck, I would expect to have no control, and be prepared to serve her and him in any way asked. Yes, you do take your chances, and at this point in life, thats oK with me.
     
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  14. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    I think cucking is part of a natural evolution after being caged. What once was unappealing to a wife can become an attractive option, especially if her husband is willing. I have told my wife that I would embrace being a cuckold but it would entirely be her choice and I am not allowed to ask. Once you're a committed submissive, you learn that she calls the shots and that you comply with whatever she wants.
     
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  15. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    I have never thought about cucking as a part of a natural evolution after being caged. I have to admit that the concept put in those terms is new for me. But for some couples, I believe that there is probably some real truth to that statement. I am beginning to sense that a bit myself. Doesn't mean it's going to happen, but how could it ever happen between a couple if she can't even begin to entertain the idea via fantasy and personal thought.
     
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  16. bitstripped
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    bitstripped Member

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    Sorry to hear that. I’m also curious as to what happened if you don’t mind sharing it.
     
  17. sissyassslut
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    sissyassslut Active Member

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    I always thought that cucking was one of the possible avenues of being caged, if it is in the cards and agreeable too by both parties. We have reached the point in our evolution where we have seriously discussed making it happen and my KH has had conversation with a few prospects. So far the issue has been finding someone that would be fine with me as well as she participating. So far the ones she has interviewed all want to have her with me watching. None have been willing to include me which is a deal breaker for us as my KH's vision includes me sucking the 3rd party erect and making him ready for her, then having him take me when he is done with her. I guess it is too much for a lot of guys.
     
  18. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    True that, this last years slope has been particularly slippery ;). My wife and I have a very strong communication dynamic. We don't talk all the time, but we certainly do regularly enough and about subjects affecting our marriage in both sexual and non-sexual ways. For her to suddenly decide independently to dump that, go off and do something she has disavowed and keep it hidden from me? Highly doubtful, not impossible, but highly doubtful. I could see her not planning an infidelity, but in a moment of perfect circumstance it happened without my knowledge ahead of time. I would understand, accept and support that. On the other hand if she said, I've been having an affair for the last 6 months I would have a different reaction.
     
  19. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    I will write it when I have more time. It's a pretty long story and I never saw what happened to me coming. That said,now that it happened I look back on my life and can clearly see how it started. Hindsight is indeed 20/20
     
  20. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    Some men feel that having another man suck them would make them gay, particularly if they were to enjoy it. I am a bisexual who would MUCH prefer being fellated by a man. Much more enthusiasm from him, better technique and no compunctions about swallowing a mouthload or taking a messy facial. In my days as a bull I was always delighted when hubby was made to service me.
     
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  21. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    I have the impression that most bisexual men seem more interested in bottoming than topping.
    It doesn’t seem easy to find bi men who want to fuck other men.
     
  22. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    I don’t know if cuckolding is a natural evolution of Chastity. I think it depends on 3 factors:

    1. Is it long term Chastity?
    2. Does the women has a high Libido, and a particular interest in PIV?
    3. Does the women think it is not immoral to have sex outside her marriage?

    If the answers are 3 yes, then it’s very natural :rolleyes:
     
  23. demale
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    demale Well-Known Member

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    That certainly is true in my case. I did top for a while but found it unfulfilling. I was much happier taking it in my ass, which is why I love having my wife peg me every day.
     
  24. Jim willis
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    Jim willis New Member

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    Three years ago I lost my wife of 15 years to an alpha male with an 8.5 inch dick. I had never thought of myself as I adequate in my life. I Learned of his size and sexual ability from a former lover of his. I also kept pushing the issue with my wife about him an finally got the real answer from her. She had had a few drinks and finally admitted what I'd feared. It was eye opening to say the least. I had never In my life been so hard. Hearing how another man was better. Was bigger. Was everything I wasn't. Soon after I started searching the web for cuckold porn. For cock comparison etc. It turned into an o session with big cocks and my own shortcomings. It led me here. To chastity. Or research of chastity.
     
  25. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    @Jim willis@Jim willis

    That’s a pretty intense story.
    Many of us have fantasies around cuckolding, or feeling of inadequacy. But living the real thing is totally different. It is both extremely exciting and disheartening.

    I had a very intense cuckolding experience about 8 years ago, where I discovered things in a very dramatic fashion. Back then it was mostly disheartening. But I wouldn’t be surprised if that event sowed the seed of Chastity and cuckolding fantasy in me.

    I like the image of sawing a seed: I never thought that denial, inadequacy, or cuckolding could be exciting before it happened. I didn’t realize it was exciting when it happened. Only after the event settled in my psyche, the fantasy grew slowly and irresistibly. :rolleyes:

    A strange thing.

    I hope you have a nice journey among us, and have as much fun as I do :D