The line between being a helpful slave to topping from the bottom

Thank you for sharing this. I like reading blogs and posts about how people find their way to a dynamic that works for them. What sticks out in your response is that you have both established a clear and effective means of communication. The diary lets pet express himself without breaking protocol, undermining authority, hurting feelings, or just ruining the surprise.

I can spend way too much time in my head. Some bad advice and fear of topping from the bottom led to me shutting up about everything and accepting the status quo in a previous relationship where I wasn't fulfilled, and my owner, frankly, deserved better.

There are times when it still feels impolite, greedy, or insubordinate to do anything that feels like advocating for myself, especially when my attention is supposed to be directed to someone else and "discomfort" is both expected and encouraged. The lightbulb moment for me was recognizing the difference between communication and trying to run things. It's okay to tell her when there are things I don't like, because sometimes that's the point.

 

Very informative, thank you for sharing