The Gift

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  1. PUP
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    #76 PUP, Apr 29, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2014
    DAY 258

    So much more happened over the past 2 weeks that I feel yesterdays post doesn't do it justice. I think my emotions were conveyed well enough but there where so many more kinky moments that I have not shared yet.

    Like when she disclosed when I was going to be allowed an orgasm! Of course I was not privy to the date when this would happen, nothing in my sex life is that straight forward anymore. But while expertly manipulating my dick one morning she enquire if I remember how good it felt to cum. My response was that I barely remember, which is true. Good when you forget completely you might get to cum again she replied. So that's sorted then, all I have to do is forget how amazing it feels to orgasm and I might get one.

    Another particularly hot moment that we experienced was just after she gave me a ruined orgasm. She had let my cum frustratingly dribble out all over to her pussy and her neatly trimmed pubes. I can still close my eyes and vividly see the sight, it was absolutely heavenly. I wish a lapped up my mess like a good PUP but once I had released the thought of eating my cum didn't seem so enticing anymore (well at least until my frustration levels build up again anyways!).

    I also failed to mention the second week and if I am honest we had just as much sex then as the first. The only advantage being my Queen had Big Dick at her disposal, but this didn't mean Bradley got locked away. No, she decided she wants them both in our sex life now (according to her they each offer a different kind of orgasm). So now she has two dicks (well three!) for her leisure - I tried to give them the nickname 'the boys' but she was having no of that "my men or my cocks are what they are darling" was her comeback.

    There were many more moments during this sojourn; some of them hot and passionate, filthy and dirty; and others were intimate and sensual, soft and loving. Some I have shared here and some will remain secret and personal to me and my Queen.

    I do not want to come across as gloating how good things are, this is not my intention. However if I was too gloat I'd gloat about my beautiful bride to be, she is amazing.
     
  2. Strict Sir
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    Strict Sir Long term member

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    I'm ever impressed with how far you two have come in this year leading up to your nuptials. Sounds like it will be a solid marriage, with both of your roles so firmly established already.

    Big Dick can be your best man, not that he's not already. ;) And Bradley the groomsman in waiting.

    I have to say, I'm surprised you didn't get to have a good cum on your holiday. Your Queen seems to be reveling in her new found power. At any rate, good to hear you enjoyed yourselves on your break. I hope you'll keep us updated as your journey continues.
     
  3. PUP
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    DAY 265

    After 264 days of exquisite denial, last night I was finally granted that elusive orgasm that I have been longing after!

    I have heard reports of 'the first orgasm' after a long stretch of denial not being that satisfying or good. Last night this was most definitely not the case. It was amazing! And gratifying, surprising, magnificent, and fulfilling! It was everything that I anticipated it would be. And also a welcomed surprise.

    She had been playing with my penis (or her penis I should really say) for a while whilst we watched a little TV in bed. Obviously this made me horny and the only way I know of venting my frustration is pleasuring her. So I went down and savoured that scrumptious little pussy that she keeps between her legs. Once the episode that we were watching finished she pulled me up and told me to fuck her. Which I did as best I could, but soon I felt my orgasm growing inside myself and had to put an end to it, luckily Big Dick took over and she enjoyed a couple of orgasms from him.

    Then she directed me to place my dick back inside herself, but after only a few more thrusts I was protesting that I can't fuck her the way she wanted. It was at this point that she told me I can cum. At first I thought she was teasing and I waited for her to laugh or say she was jokin, but I never happened. This was it, finally I was going to be allowed an orgasm.

    I fucked her hard and fast and for the first time in 9 months I was able to completely let go and just fuck. I don't have to worry about not cumming or stopping. It was sublime and almost a little unbelievable - it reminded me of the first time I had sex, I spent the entire time then thinking "Ohh my god, I am actually having sex" rather than savouring the sex itself. Last night my thoughts were "Ohh my God, I am actually going to cum!"

    However the difference last night to when I popped my cherry (if you excuse the phrase) is that I mostly defiantly did savour every detail of the sex. Each second of it, from its start to its most satisfying conclusion and of course that afterglow feeling afterwards, a feeling of fulfilment and euphoria that is usually only reserved for my Key Holder while I lay next to hear pent up and horny.

    So where to now? Hmmm, that is a good question. Well, I am back at work and my dick is locked. I still am not in charge of my penis and my orgasms are still a gift the I have given to my Queen. The only difference is now she has chosen to give me one back. But when will she give me another one? It might be when we get married in 99 days or it might be next weekend, the decision is above me.

    One thing is for sure, I am in for a frustrating life. And if I am totally honest my frustration levels are still sky-high today. Ok, I came yesterday and had the release, but what that has done is reminded me how great it feels to cum! And now I crave more! After 2/3 months of denial you sort of forget the feeling of an orgasm and become settled in a state of sexual appeasement with the frustration. Now the bliss of an orgasm is vividly clear in my mind.

    The score so far this year: 129 - 1 in her favour of course.
     
  4. Strict Sir
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    What? You've had an orgasm already this year now, and you want another in a mere 99 days just because you are getting married?!! ;)

    Congratulations on all counts!
     
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  5. PUP
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    Hahaa how very true Strict Sir! One orgasm and I have let my voracious greed take over me, bad PUP! I shall have to learn to be more gracious when given the privilege of cumming.
     
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  6. PUP
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    Eating my own cum. I find the entire act depraved, even perverted. I mean it is not a natural thing for a straight man to do, to consume his own semen. In my past life it would be women that swallowed my cum, with my Queen this does not feel appropriate. That sort of performance should be (and is) beneath her, it just seems more fitting for me to do the ingesting.

    And when I'm horny and denied, I do fantasise about lapping up my cum. I think it is the humiliation of the deed that really seduces me. But, alas, once I have came (ruined or not) the desire to devour my semen disappears. I guess temporarily I come out of 'sub space'. I find the reality of the exploit quite off-putting truth be told, almost repulsive. That is until my frustration levels return and then I find the idea befitting, even palatable, my wanton behaviour desires the salaciousness of the feat.

    Which brings us on to yesterday, we were engaged in some impromptu sex whilst on the floor when I felt my orgasm arising inside myself. Sensing that my Goddess wanted more than I could deliver, I suggested I had ruined orgasm (so that I then could proceed to take her afterwards in a more appropriate manner). She agreed and I slowed down to an almost stop. Soon I felt my cum dribble out of my dick, and into her pussy. This was a mistake, she didn't give me permission to cum inside her merely just to cum, and for that baby I am truly remorseful. After my indiscretion we continued to make love until she came and then once her orgasm had subsided she declared her disapproval of my misjudgment.

    I thought; right this is the time to prove yourself boy! A little pussy adoration is what is required recover the situation. I looked between her legs and I could see a big sticky glob of my cum that was formed at the bottom go her sweet little pussy. I knelt down and allowed my tongue to delicately trace its way up her beautiful lips and as I did I felt the clump of cum hit it and then slide down the back of my throat. It was salty and slight unsavoury and although not entirely unpleasant, it was hardly what I would call appetising. I presume the dilution with her cum must of enhanced the taste. I could see it as something I could get used too, even appreciate, perhaps even crave?! But for now the taste is hardly one that I am relishing.

    It is the paradox of the plight the divides me, I know I should't want to do it. It's wrong, and lewd and lecherous but now I've had a taste (pardon the pun) I can't help but tantalised by it. I guess from now on when I see my sticky mess displayed across her body or her gorgeous delicate pussy has a cream pie inside it I will most defiantly look at it with different eyes.
     
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  7. WantingInsider
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    I have very much enjoyed reading your posts. Please keep it up.

    Thanks,
    HS.
     
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  8. PUP
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    Orgasms are like buses. You wait ages for one and then two come at once! Yes, that is what happened to me yesterday! All weekend we have been like rampant teenagers my Queen and I, enthralled in each others lust and madly love. I can't even begin to guess how many times we had sex, let alone how many times she came, 20? 30? I honestly have no idea.

    After a weekend of absolute debauchery, yesterday morning my Queen allowed me that sweet, sweet release that all us chaste boys crave. It was glorious! But what was even more amazing was sex that followed later that evening. This was like the sex we had when we first met, before the denial and the frustration. Before she owned my orgasms and my pleasure. It went on and on, it was hot and sweaty, and raw and ravenousness.

    We fu*ked.....and we fu*ked! In the heights of our passions again she again granted me that release. It was a powerful orgasmic reward, a real treat for my voracious lovings and hard work.

    She was satisfied beyond belief, we both were as we laid there panting and sweating, exhausted and spent.
    It was perfect.

    @help_solo I am glad you are enjoying!
     
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  9. PUP
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    We have entered a new chapter in our journey together, not much has changed, My Queen is still the custodian of my orgasms and my pleasure remains at her discretion. So what did 265 days of denial teach us? The experience revealed to us that I don't actually need to cum, it is really just a nicety. It also encouraged the kinky side of our lives to develop, with the different roles that we each play blossoming. She learnt that being selfish in our bed is not frowned up, it is in fact encouraged, and while she grew into a more austere authoritarian I mutually learned to appreciate the fruits that submission bears.

    So now at the forefront of this new era I do find myself excited, once again orgasming is back on the table! During these past 4 weeks I have had 4 orgasms, a fair amount I know, but to keep it in context in the last 300 days I have I still only had 4 orgasms! Now I do next expect to cum once a week, or once a month, or even once a year, I have given up my orgasms to love of my life. And while she remains to have such a tenacious grip on my heart she can keep them for as long as she likes, or give me as many as she wants.

    You see for me chastity isn't about the length of denial or the abstinence of orgasm. It is the trust one person place in another, having the conviction that your pleasure is completely at their mercy and for them having the faith that you will honour their wishes if they chose to withhold said pleasure from you. I do not believe the denial has to last weeks, or months to be anymore real or more pure, as long as there is trust and the orgasms are controlled then for me it is chastity.
     
  10. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    A "nicety"?
    But it is marvelous the be allowed the pleasure of it.
    There is nothing more exciting than being held and kept by the one you love who loves you in return...
     
  11. Strict Sir
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    Strict Sir Long term member

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    Well said, PUP!
     
  12. PUP
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    It is now less than a month until we take our vows and I have never been more certain of anything else in my life. No matter what slant or situation I look at her from, my eyes are always filled with love. She most defiantly is the one.

    Our sex life has broaden lately, with chastity and denial taking a back seat to the vanilla. Now, I cannot envisage us ever going back to a 'traditional vanilla' relationship, even as of late when we have been leaning more in this direction there has always been undertones of dominance, submission and kink. I mean, what 'average guy' licks his own cum up off his lovers breasts?

    So I think we will always be somewhere in the middle, not über kinky nor mainstream vanilla. A good balance struck somewhere in no man's land, that depending on the mood or vibe will sway one way or another. This arrangement reminds me of how we were when we first met, back when the tease and denial wasn't too serious and the sex was carefree and fun.

    Yes, I am liking this new horizon and all I can say for sure is that the future looks very exciting....
     
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  13. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    "A good balance"

    The best situation for me and my beloved as well. The path is difficult, but less so when you walk together and find your (plural) own path as an integrated intertwined couple.

    Best wishes and good luck!
     
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  14. PUP
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    It has been 365 days since I started this journal and a great deal has happen. We have travelled this road together my Queen and I and what a strange and beautiful journey it has been, one that's has taken us to some depeaved and humiliating corners of the human psyche at times as well as some true beautiful places too.

    And now I am but hours away from vowing my love, honour and devotion to this truely amazing woman and I honestly can't wait!!!

    I asked her the other day want married life will be like and she summed it up in two words....

    Servitude and frustration.

    That sounds perfect to me! :)
     
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  15. Strict Sir
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    All the best!!!
     
  16. atarikiki
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    You did it, congratulation !
    What about now ?
    Will you have an orgasm or will you continue a strict chastity ?
     
  17. PUP
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    I have already been privileged with my first post wedding orgasm and it was f**king awesome!! Married life is amazing! Here's to all my pleasure in another's hand!!
     
  18. Strict Sir
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    Strict Sir Long term member

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    Well said, PUP! Cherish, honor, and obey your wife, your Goddess. Did I mention 'obey?' ;)

    Congratulations to you both!
     
  19. PUP
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    #94 PUP, Oct 9, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2014
    Please excuse my absenteeism! During the past couple of months we have been enjoying a leisurely sabbatical from chastity. Now that is not to say we were totally vanilla. Throughout this recess the power dynamic in our relationship did not recede, permission was still required before orgasm and her pleasure always took precedence. That said she did become very generous when it came to my sexual well being and gratification.

    It really was an amazing dream. Please note the past tense. Yes, the satisfaction bubble has now burst! I am now back under lock and key. Happily under lock and key I should add.

    Her attitude towards my chastening this time seem a lot more austere than before. If you remember I work away during the week, so spending this time caged was no surprise! However last weekend she elected not to unlock me. I pleasured her locked, I slept locked.

    This is not the status quo for us, my Queen likes to see me hard (that doesn’t mean she’ll play with it mind you!) she just likes to look at him in that state. But now it appears this luxury is forbidden.

    It’s my fault she tells me. I have become complacent and not as devoted as I should be, and when locked I am a focused, completely focused in fact. Which is not surprising really, it negates my ability to receive pleasure and so of course I am more centred on her and her appetite for pleasure.

    I guess in an ideal world when unlocked I would be a devoted to her sexual needs as I am whilst chaste. Let’s just hope I learn!
     
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  20. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    Hmmmm, how odd same here, but back in for now...
     
  21. PUP
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    Why is humiliation such a turn on?

    Case in point; Saturday night my beautiful hot young wife allowed me the privilege of penetrating her (I know, its crazy, penetrating my wife is a privilege, but she is the key keeper in our relationship in more ways then one!). So after two weeks of being denied her...? Divineness, shall we say! She told me to enter her.

    She was already well warmed up after enjoying my tongue and her faithful companion Big Dick. I slide inside her and felt instant euphoria, it is such a natural and pure feeling having sex with the woman you love. I thrust away feeling instant elation and masculinity.

    This was soon crushed by her taunts and goading! "Is that it?" "You are so small!" "You're pathetic baby!"

    She laid back and ridiculed me as I attempted to keep my composure "You can't keep this up can you?" she laughed. And she was right I couldn't. The denial was one thing for weakening my staying power but this outburst of cruel humiliation was far too much for me to handle.

    It makes me delirious being humiliated and emasculated in such a manner. I have no idea why I like it? Or why I have come to crave it. But the crueler she is to me, the more I lust after it.

    I guess it is like chastity, the more she denies me, the more I want to be denied. And so deeper the rabbit hole goes...
     
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  22. BlueEyes
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    Not trying to be too COCKY here ;-) - but it really can be achieved! In fact I am even more submissive after she took the device from me. It made it so much more clear to me how much she has managed to change and control my behavior. It's a blessing!

    If you really are that much into humiliation:) I would put "Big Dick" in my good night prayers if I was You. "Big Dick" sort of paves the way for more humiliation doesn't he? LOL!
     
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  23. PUP
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    Not trying to be too cocky! That tickled me BlueEyes! Yes, I hear what you are saying and when I am home at the weekend I do actually spend most of time unchaste, physically at least. Perhaps not mentally, she likes to see him hard (and neglected). It is during the week, when I am away at work that the device comes into its own. It serves as a symbol to myself that I have promised that part of body to her and also it deters weakness on my part.

    As for Big Dick paving the way for humiliation, he most certainly does! I feel like I am being cuckolded by a silicone man! Especially when she tells me he is her favourite cock, surely a wife's husband's dick should be her favourite!?!?
     
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  24. PUP
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    Saturday morning started like most Saturday mornings....

    I gently kissed her luscious lips and let my hands explore her young body. There is no illusion any more in our bedroom, we both know our roles; she lays back and allows herself to be pampered whilst I do the worshiping. It is an arrangement that we are both content with. I kissed my way down her succulent body, taking my time and making sure I enjoyed all of its delights, her nipples, her curves, everything.

    Before long at I was face to face with the divine heaven that is her gorgeous little pussy. I allowed my tongue to gently trace it's way up one of her lips and then back down the other one savouring every moment of the experience before I diligently went to work on her sweet pussy. I always have the urge to drive right in and suffocate and drowned myself in her, of course I refrain. Sex is about her needs and her wants, and cunnilingus is no exception. It's not that my needs don't matter, but they seem to matter less and less. Of course I am not complaining! I was the one who persuaded her to be not only selfish in bed but also to never to feel guilt about it. And now we are at place where she not only feels no remorse but also confesses that she will never go back to how it used to be, and only see's herself becoming more austere. Be careful what you wish for!

    So I am licking away at her delicious pussy and gently probing her with my fingers (it's amazing how much a chaste man comes to rely on his tongue and fingers) when she gave me the pat on the head. I can tell she enjoys my attentions but ultimately they are just a warm up, she needs to be filled. Unfortunately her faithful companion Big Dick was not with us :(

    However, we had purchased a new toy just days before! The Doxy Magicwand, 30% more powerful than the Hitachi Wand :) and boy does it pack a punch! As this was our maiden outing with Roxy (as she would affectionately become to be called) my Queen took the reins and gently massaged her pussy with it whilst I knelt next to her and ran my hands all over her body. Her orgasm was rambunctious!!

    After she had recovered I suggested going again, her response? "Baby, you have to respect the wand!"

    We laughed and then she decided she'll settled for my dick instead! I entered her and knew I couldn't last, her pussy is becoming tighter and tighter! So after a few minutes I suggested a position change, she mounted me and rode me hard. She must have been a good mode because when I told her I was approaching the point of no return she just smiled. She didn't have to say it, I knew.

    I erupted inside her as we both came together, for me it was 5 weeks of denial being released, for her one of many orgasms. But thats the way it should be.
     
  25. PUP
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    Quite the revelation happen this weekend, my better half confessed that she was not opposed to the idea of cuckolding me. This came as quite the shock! My impression of her view on the subject was it was inconceivable, and yet here she was telling me how she had not only thought about it, but thought about it enough to know that she would preferably do it with a woman, although a man would work too, however she felt I couldn't handle it.

    So where do I stand? Could I handle it? I enjoy cuckold porn and the fantasy, but the line between fantasy and reality is glaring obvious one. I guess first I have to ask, what is it about cuckoldry that floats my boat? Various factors I think the obvious ones being: the humiliation, the submission and the denial of watching others indulge in pleasure whilst myself abstaining. We have often joked together that she cucks me with "Big Dick" and her other toys, and if you think about it she does.

    But what we are discussing now is something different, we are talking about another mans hands groping my wife, his lips kissing her, his cock inside her. I say another man, I feel if she were to do it with another woman I would have nowhere the same level of jealousy. But is this emotion part of the experience? Of course the cuck is supposed to be jealous, that is his wife with another man.

    But what if she was loving it? Appreciating the extra size or the increase in stamina? What if she was getting off on blatantly cheating on me in front of me? I made a promise to her along time ago, way before my wedding vow to her that her sexual pleasure is the priority in our relationship. And it is, we both know it.

    The question is not whether should would enjoy it, or whether she choses to do it, neither of these I can answer. She wants to know whether I could handle it? Before we met I had quite the life (bearing in mind I am 10 years her senior), I had many sexual partners and experiences to accompany them. My beautiful Queen did not, I meet her so young and sometimes I feel that I have robbed her of that chapter in her life, perhaps this could be a way to requite her?

    So back to the million pound question, could I handle it? We have a very loving and honest relationship, we trust each other implicitly and have great communication, so yes I think with the right ground rules and situation I could handle it. Of course I would be jealous! It's my gorgeous wife engaging with another in a manner that should be only reserved for myself, but I am sure we would talk about it with an open dialogue and nobody would do anything the other is not comfortable with.

    But just because I could handle it doesn't mean she is going to sleep with anyone any time soon or ever actually, for now I will just let the prospect that it is not an impossibility sink in.
     
    SubVerity likes this.
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