The Future of Chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Tracker1, Sep 11, 2021.

Random Thread
  1. Tracker1
    Offline

    Tracker1 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2019
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    The stories we read on this site are quite dramatic. Person after person testifies that chastity has dramatically improved their marriage along many dimensions. Relationships are more understanding, sensitive, and *much* more rewarding. People report being in the marriage they always wanted but had failed to achieve. Occasionally someone reports being willing to go back to the old days and ways but not often and not many.

    If chastity were a drug or a book or some kind of therapy and it had the same effect it would be really famous. It would be a normal part of relationships. People experiencing these positive reactions would talk about them often. Couples counsellors would urge their clients to try it out.

    That is not of course the case. We all keep quiet about this experience. Is it because we think only a handful of people can profit from it, and by some weird coincidence just about everybody who can do so already is? That is not my impression and certainly not my view. I speculate -- not that I have any way of knowing -- that the relationships of a considerable fraction of the population, on the order of half or more, maybe even most, would profit from chastity and do so significantly.

    So why do we keep quiet? Obviously because we know how the details would look to the general culture. What type of man would lock his cock up and surrender the key? What type of woman would look at her lover, down on his knees, with tears in his eyes, begging for relief, and just shake her head, smiling all the time? We know what people would think and so we keep quiet, even though by keeping quiet we are keeping so many people – people we like -- from being happier than they are.

    Is this a stable situation? Will we keep quiet forever? Do we feel any ethical pressures at all to change our behavior, given how many people might profit from our experiences? What would it take for us to start to tell people about the good things chastity makes possible?

    I think about this every day. Sometimes I feel on the verge.
     
  2. Staylocked
    Offline

    Staylocked Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2018
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    KC
    Local Time:
    5:25 AM
    I think society as a whole has been centered around masculinity for thousands of years and chastity is generally perceived as the opposite, if people are even aware of it at all. You are talking about undoing all those years of masculine culture virtually overnight and that won't happen. On top of that, sex is still taboo in many cultures around the world, especially something perceived as kinky.
    It is definitely growing in popularity, but I would doubt that chasity would ever become something that even 50% of the population would ever find acceptable. I'm sure a great number of people will experiment with it over the next few decades, but it will be as a bedroom act primarily and not a lifestyle.
    More importantly and more realistically I think that changing the perception that sex is based on man's pleasure (it's done when he cums) will better resonate with society, but even that would take ages to become a widely accepted ideal.
    That said, I do think that chastity could help many relationships if those people were aware of it, but in itself chastity won't fix relationships.
     
    bondinchas, CagedCockOz and attistoC like this.
  3. Tom Allen
    Online

    Tom Allen Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,124
    Likes Received:
    3,196
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southern New England
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    There is a tale that during WWI, the British army started replacing the cloth or leather caps with those funny metal ones. However, a short time later, the medics noticed a large increase in the number of soldiers with head wounds. They puzzled over this for a bit, until somebody figured out that the old caps provided no protection, and the doughboys weren't getting wounded - they were getting killed. The helmeted soldiers were surviving in greater numbers.

    My point is that those who come onto boards like this talking about how chastity has improved their marriages are already the types of people who are predisposed to accepting such things and allowing them in their lives. For every happy couple, there are probably hundreds of unused devices sitting in the back of sock drawers.

    Mrs Edge and I are a success story. But it took her willing to move at her own pace, and it took me being patient enough to allow her to take it where she wanted, without being (overly) pushy or whiny about things. Again, for ever happy chastity couple there are probably hundreds of others who had completely disparate ideas on how such a relationship should work. And again, leading to a lot of devices collecting dust in the closet.

    Perhaps magazine articles like in Cosmo or Esquire (do people even read those anymore?), or exposure on some late night TV show might help more people to at least try it out. But I honestly don't think that it's something that would automatically work for everyone.
     
  4. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    413
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    Were you looking in my drawers?
     
    Isopropylforyou likes this.
  5. Tom Allen
    Online

    Tom Allen Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,124
    Likes Received:
    3,196
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southern New England
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    I was looking in mine. I have some I should just get rid of.
     
    true42 likes this.
  6. Tracker1
    Offline

    Tracker1 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2019
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    The numbers are unclear but the testimonies here at least hold out a possibility for lots of improved relationships (and sex lives) and it is just a shame these connections are not being made. If I could change history I would have introduced chastity to the society as a relationship therapy. People would go to therapists -- couples counselors -- to get measured and discuss options. Still might happen someday. (For all I know there might be a counselor or two somewhere that does this already. Hope so.) At least there are services like Chastity Mansion and Chastity Forum to help spread the word. I do the best I can to introduce chastity to my family members and close friends but I live in the society that I do.
     
    CagedCockOz and attistoC like this.
  7. Jah Rubbings
    Offline

    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2020
    Messages:
    899
    Likes Received:
    924
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.K
    Local Time:
    11:25 AM
    If men did not feel entitled to be helped to come each time their partner aroused them. It's not like their ladies get to everytime, is it? But they're expected to finish him off. How would that in itself change the whole sex bartering thing. I've believed it to be my right as a husband, and know many men do. The Internet is a powerful thing, and who knows whether we as the human race will finally get sexual equality for women, in the 22nd century perhaps? And too much masterbation is well known to be bad for relationships. Then, and only then, will Chastity become a routine thing that people will use because its the right thing to do socially, when you need help. Gibberish I know but one possible way for the future.
     
  8. R2002
    Offline

    R2002 Active member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2017
    Messages:
    712
    Likes Received:
    792
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Attorney
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    Well my therapists are well aware of how beneficial chastity has been to my marriage and perhaps they have or will share that (professionally) with othersof their clients

    I once encouraged my personal therapist (a woman) to try chastity with her husband. She told me that she had mentioned it to her husband but he declined
     
    Rectrix, attistoC and Lazlo Toth like this.
  9. Dr MBogo
    Offline

    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    992
    Likes Received:
    1,961
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:25 AM
    LOL-right after you went thru my drawer!
     
    Tom Allen likes this.
  10. Headtrip
    Offline

    Headtrip Active member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    398
    Likes Received:
    737
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest USA
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    I really think marriage classes should include an honest discussion about masturbation, voluntary, and yes enforced, chastity. Plant the seed and let it grow where the conditions are ripe. Im pretty sure many a new bride would pay attention to her man's lack thereof and start to make some requests. And in that early state of marital cooperation many guys would go along.

    Could be way off base but I am pretty sure the forces at work here trancend mere kinky play.
     
    Rectrix and attistoC like this.
  11. Pretty Monnica
    Offline

    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2018
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    862
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Sissy maid
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Edmonton
    Local Time:
    4:25 AM
    You are on the right track, but do be careful with whom you share this information with. It's still a behind the scenes activity, and there are people who will weaponize information on you.

    Mainstreaming is something that ultimately requires the powerful males to give control over, and that isn't likely. It also requires females to want to take that control as their own, and while yes, there are success stories, the simple fact is that the successes are way outnumbered by the failures. So much of it all is contingent on the female interaction, and that's just not in Cosmo, Readers Digest, talk shows, or otherwise. Thus, currently not likely.

    If enough of us do exactly as you have indicated, and promote it as a fun, naughty, helpful tool in a relationship, it's popularity will continue to grow. It's nice to read such a positive take.
     
  12. Tom Allen
    Online

    Tom Allen Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,124
    Likes Received:
    3,196
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southern New England
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    Wow, does everybody keep them in the back of your sock drawers?
     
    true42 likes this.
  13. Junebug15
    Offline

    Junebug15 Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,927
    Likes Received:
    1,427
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:25 AM
    They belong on your cock
     
  14. Open2njoy
    Offline

    Open2njoy Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2017
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    371
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    But you can only wear one at a time.
     
    JackStrap, lockedforfun and true42 like this.
  15. homebody
    Offline

    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2019
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    687
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    ‘So why do we keep quiet?’. There are two people involved in this little adventure in chastity. And even if I wanted to be public about it I don’t have the right to end my wife’s privacy. That is a major concern for me and I would not want to do anything to decrease her trust in me.
     
  16. lockedforfun
    Offline

    lockedforfun Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2019
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    54
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:25 AM
    Preaching the joys of your preferred method of sex to the world is one thing. Trying to claim it is the secret to changing the world is quite another.

    Mainstream articles discussing how much fun chastity is for the people involved might help convince more people to try, which will result in more cages in sock drawers but also maybe a few more locked onto cocks as well. But proclaiming it should be used by therapists as a standard technique will go over like a turd in a punchbowl.

    This reminds me so much of the "how do I get my wife to lock me up" threads where the poor guy keeps trying to convince his wife it'll make him a better husband if she locks him up.
     
  17. Guy From RI
    Offline

    Guy From RI New member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2021
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    Not gibberish at all, but clearly one of those "easy to say, hard to do" things in life. Your notes line up with my thinking. I’m new to chastity and my wife has been (surprisingly, shockingly?) accepting so far. My whole pitch to her was that seminal retention and her controlling my orgasms (and stopping my very long term masturbation habit) would benefit her via my greater focus on her. That argument won the day to get her to accept trying this out and my very vanilla wife of 28 years seemed to take pretty quickly and naturally to locking me and setting a "next release date" 11 days into the future. We'll have to see where it goes from here, but it's already delivered on my promise of increased attention - after less than a week, I'm already focused much more on her and not on my penis or orgasm. To be continued...
     
  18. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    1,291
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:25 AM
    I think chastity mostly works in the context of submissive and dominant pairings, whether otherwise kinky or not. It follows that it would be transformative for some couples, but only those already wired for it.
     
    Guy From RI likes this.
  19. Guy From RI
    Offline

    Guy From RI New member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2021
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    Seems there's a good chance you're right, but I'm not fully convinced. While I have a strong sexually submissive kink (long time masochist with strong spanking fantasy who wants to be punished), my wife is not sexually dominant. She is controlling in a lot of ways and I've often tried to make sense of the "controlling but not dominant" quality. All that said, I have gotten her to try out orgasm control using a chastity device to manage my orgasms. Main focus was on "lock my cock to stop me from masturbating and I'll focus on devoting my energy to you." We're only 4 days into this and it may not work at all but so far so good. While she isn't dominant, she seemed to take to some of the basics pretty easily ("OK, give me the key. Your next orgasm will be in 11 days. It would have been 10 but you came while I was edging you when I told you not to, so I added a day.") I've been pretty shocked by how much she jumped in and participated after I "came out" to her with my desire to try this. Time will tell.
     
    borbulls1961 and Danny15 like this.
  20. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    1,291
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:25 AM
    That is dominant, just not particularly kinky.
     
    Guy From RI likes this.
  21. enslavedbyc
    Offline

    enslavedbyc Junior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2010
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    136
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:25 AM
    It completely baffles me that anyone in chastity cares that anyone else is. Yes it’s nice that their is a core group of people that you can share experiences with. It’s nice that couples who are interested don’t need to reinvent the wheel. But chastity is very much likely to remain niche if not outright kink. By the way it’s even more awesome when it’s mixed in with spanking, shock collars, locking leather wrist cuffs, leather straitjackets and bed restraints, plus about 30 or 50 or 75 other things that help make our marriage and sex life fantastic! Should although activities be mainstream? As for my wife and I, …eh we don’t care. You do you, we’ll do us.
     
  22. lockedforfun
    Offline

    lockedforfun Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2019
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    54
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:25 AM
    If I have my wife's validation of my chastity kink, I don't need anyone else's. If I don't have her validation, the validation of the entire rest of the world won't help a damn bit.

    I consider myself very lucky to have hers.
     
    homebody, true42 and R2002 like this.
  23. locked_top
    Offline

    locked_top Caged tiger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2019
    Messages:
    574
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    5:25 AM
    You have cause and effect backwards. The men on this site are not a random sample--they are men who have a desire for chastity. Therefore it makes sense that chastity makes their marriage happier.

    Chastity is a niche kink. Don't confuse it with a broad social panacea.
     
    homebody, latexbound and Slave-boy like this.
  24. locked_top
    Offline

    locked_top Caged tiger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2019
    Messages:
    574
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    5:25 AM
    Yes, someone on FL called chastity a "proselytizing". kink.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that demand for chastity devices is high enough to produce a nice supply of different models. But most guys that I know, and most women for that matter, just would think it is weird to have something locked on a cock.
     
  25. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    413
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:25 AM
    My wife and I both thing it's weird -- and we do it it! :D So yeah, I can only imagine how weird it must seem to others ...
     
    Dead in the water likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice