The Difference

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Newbeginning, Aug 24, 2019.

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  1. Newbeginning
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    I am quite new to chastity, but I am not new to power exchange and many of the fun activities that often go along with chastity. My wife and I had been married thirty years when, just a few months ago, she surprised me with a chastity cage. Since then it's been an exciting time of experimentation and discovery for both of us. Among other things we've now stepped up to a jailbird, which has made possible much longer periods of lockdown, and for me at least a much more intense feeling of being caged. And we've gradually amped up our style of play. I am currently going on 21 days without a sexual release, which is fairly intense. I've been locked up 24/7 for all of that time except for periodic short unlocks for me to go running, and once for a full day for a minor health reason.

    In that time, I have noticed an important difference between intended actions and unintended actions, and I suspect that this difference plays a role in what we locked puppies find to be stimulating, and also in what kinds of activities are likely to provoke an aroused response. I know that this probably sounds rather vague just now, but perhaps it will help if I begin by reporting on what happened to me this morning.

    First, I should mention that last night, as we were getting ready for bed, my wife told me to get out the Hitachi Magic Wand and plug it in beside the bed. She didn't want to use it just then, she just wanted it available. Then she went to sleep (we sleep in separate rooms). So there i was, all night, with a fully armed HItachi lying next to my bed. Now, in our FLR, it is by no means good news for me that the Hitachi is making an appearance. My wife has recently said that the device is "So good, I may not need you ever again." So I had no way of knowing if the morning would bring some stimulation for me, or simply the still good but nonetheless reduced thrill of watching my wife get herself off with the HItachi. There was no way to know, and I am sure that was my wife's point in having me leave it out as I went to sleep. In any event, the unfocused intensity of the device hovered over my dreams all night. In the morning, I found myself straining against the bars of my Jailbird, wondering what would happen next. Of course it was possible that nothing would happen -- my wife is perfectly capable of deciding that she had too much work to do, and to simply attending to it while ignoring me. Nevertheless, I continued to lay there, wondering.

    I was half asleep dozing when the door to my room opened and my wife said good morning. As she climbed onto the bed, i noticed the key on its lanyard around her neck -- my wife rarely wears her key unless she intends to use it.Igrew hopeful. She then waved it in front of my eyes, teasing. "Where's that vibrator?" she asked. I reached for the Hitachi and handed it over. "I'm going to use it this morning," she began, "... on you!" This was exciting news indeed. for the 20 days of my current chastisement, I had seen extremely little in the way of physical stimulation (not counting the sheer pressure of my cage on a trying-to-swell member -- i'd seen lots of that).

    Before I could get too excited though, she had another idea. She stopped midway towards unlocking me and said, "What if I use this on you while you're in your cage?" Well, to make a long story short, she then proceeded to run some "tests," applying the wand to every exposed surface of the cage, and to every part of my flesh that protruded through the bars of it. She also experimented on my fully exposed balls. Now, she did not just touch it to my balls although she did do that too. After just touching them, she then applied increasing pressure to them with the wand. I groaned, and then groaned more as the pressure crossed a variety of wires in my brain. With the demeanor of a scientist, my wife asked, "Does that feel good, or does it hurt?" I explained that it felt good up to a point, and then the pressure really hurt. "Good," she said, and pressed the head of the HItachi down again very firmly at the "painful" level. I groaned, moaned, and suffered, and when she finally let up, i said, "Thank you," and I meant it. Now some reading this may be saying that would not be their (or their husband's) reaction, but let me explain. I'll come back to this in a moment.

    After my wife's experiments on the caged member and it's two friends were concluded, she did in fact unlock me. She then tried out the wand on my newly unconstrained flesh and asked, seemingly with total sincerity, how that felt. I said it was amazing, and that if she didn't stop soon i would not be able to hold myself back. She played with me like this for a little while and then shut the vibrator down. "It's time for you to eat me." Several orgasms later, my head properly squeezed from surviving her shuddering and clenching legs, she beckoned me to climb up and lay atop her. Now, historically, pre-chastity, this would have been the signal for intercourse, but nowadays, nothing is as it was, especially that.

    She hugged me and toyed with me for a while, but eventually, and much to my surprise and delight, gave me the go-ahead to enter her, "slowly," as she put it. And I did. After 20 days of no release, and very little stimulation, it was rather overwhelming. What is more, my wife did not simply let me enter her. She used her hand as a gatekeeper, with her fingernails as the gatekeeper's sword. Even as I felt myself slipping inside her very ready chamber, I also felt the teeth of her fingernails, for she was deliberately pressing those nails into the flanks of my shaft as I penetrated her. The result was an exquisitely soft, moist grip of her inner sanctum on my head, accompanied by a very sharp biting pain of her nails digging into my shaft. This particular game was nothing new for us, but it was new for her to do it when i was so keyed up from three weeks of denial. The contrast in sensations, and the extreme intensity of both sensations, made me feel like i was about to leave my own body. Although I do not normally reach crescendo too quickly, this morning i could only manage a few strokes before pulling back, saying, "I need to regroup before i lose control."

    I withdrew fully, and then without a pause, my wife announced, "You're done. That's it." Intimacy at that level was over. We then resumed cuddling for quite some time before getting up to start the rest of our day.

    The reason I am telling this story is to focus on two events in it: My wife intentionally pressing on my balls to the point of making it painful, and her digging her nails into my shaft during sex. Some people will no doubt say that this is not their thing and that they would not like it, and some will probably say, oh yes, where can I get some of that. But I want to comment on my own reaction to this, which lies somewhere in between.

    As it happens, the things my wife did, and her intent in doing them, led me to thoroughly enjoy them, including every moment of the suffering involved. But it would have been possible for me to experience those exact same events and not enjoy them at all. For example, if my wife had been trying to give me a sensation of pure pleasure, but had unintentionally pressed too hard on my balls, I would not have enjoyed having them accidentally crushed. But because she was deliberately probing to see "what feels good and what hurts" and was then deliberately trying to make it hurt, I was all in and enthusiastically enjoying the experience of being hurt by her. Likewise her fingernails on my shaft. If she had been trying to give me a hand job, but had ineptly scratched me with her nails, i know i would not have enjoyed that at all. However, because I know very well that she was deliberately trying to create a pain that I had to endure to reach the pleasure of her insides, the experience was sublime. And i do know it was intentional because many times in the past I have whispered to her, "you're hurting me," and she at those times has responded, "good" or "I know."

    And this brings me to the difference which gave rise to the title of this thread. For me at least, the difference between a sensation that makes me ecstatic and one that makes me annoyed is frequently a difference merely of "intent." If i know that my wife intends to cause me suffering, then it is a thrill. If I know the discomfort is unintended, then it's just unpleasant.

    Why is this? My suspicion is that deliberately inflicted pain expresses my wife's dominance over me and compels me to submit to it. It is not an accident, it's not fleeting. It is deliberate, and she wants me to have that experience. Knowing that a sensation is intended by my wife is enough to make me love experiencing that sensation, whether it is a classically pleasurable one, or sensation which, under other circumstances, might be very unpleasant indeed.

    Now, my wife is no sadist. Indeed, she is emphatically a "nice person." But she knows that I love when she dominates me, and administering pain is one way for her to do that. She was not someone who naturally used this reaction to her advantage, but years with me has helped her to learn that she can give me exactly what i want by "forcing" me to suffer things that supposedly, no one "wants." And for me, the fact that she comes to this not as a sadist makes her willingness to participate in the full gamut of sensation play all the more erotic, exciting and heartbreakingly loving.

    I believe that my reception of my wife's dominance results in me reflecting a powerful sense of love and submission to her will, and that this reflected emotion creates positive feedback for her, encouraging her to continue to cross boundaries, so that I in turn am moved once again by the incredible rush of her power directed full strength, at me.

    So, it seems to me that for some keyholders, it is possible to really reach your pet by doing something to them that you know they won't like, provided that you begin by making absolutely clear to them that you know they won't like it, but that you want them to endure it.

    I would be interested in hearing if others have had a similar experience.
     
  2. madams-sissysub
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    Very interesting reading, my madam did just the same when it came to cuckolding me, she bought up the subject quite a few times over the corse if about 6 weeks, then one evening she bought it up again while teasing and fondling my cage and balls, and she said very seriously “this doesnt satisfy me, it’s never satisfied me. I want to be satisfied, and I will be. It’s about my pleasure, not yours! So you agree?
    I knew it wasn’t a question, it was an answer and a few days later she cuckolded me for the first time.
     
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  3. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    #3 bondinchas, Aug 27, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2019
    My keyholder wife started in our relationship as extreme vanilla. She's still coy and gets overwhelmed with the emotion when we play, but she now delights in that what would have before been her refusing to indulge too much because it caused her embarrassment, now she recognises that she can feel comfortable refusing to continue because it's a very effective tease.

    She's also the most caring, gentlest person I know, which you might think doesn't lend itself to her becoming a dominant with a mean streak. She's now comfortable with the fact that she knows that I have a high tolerance for pain, so she feels much less apprehensive about inflicting it than she used to. In the past few weeks, she's become a little more adventurous with that.

    I'm very much a switch, but prefer being dominated. When I'm locked up and we're playing around I'll dominate her physically, while at the same time, she's dominating me sexually.
    I'll be giving her oral while holding her down so that she can't move, both of us knowing that even though I'm controlling the physical movements, she's the only one who'll be getting an orgasm.
    One of our favourite positions is a 69 with me on top, where I'm immobilising her, doing all the work and getting no attention on my parts. My knees hold her arms tight to her sides, and my hands hold either her ankles to her bottom, or her wrists under her bottom. I then hold her through multiple orgasms which she enjoys but tries to escape from, it all being "too much!" The last few times, she has managed to get an arm free, once giving me a couple of hard slaps to the balls, another time slapping my bottom, hard, and not stopping until I let her go.
    While before she wouldn't have dreamt of doing that, as a means of escape she was laughing and enjoying it. She also gets aroused when she sees my skin redden, whether it's my cock straining in my cage, or as recently discovered, by a slap on my bum.
    She's becoming much more comfortable with knowing that however hard she slaps me, I seem to enjoy it and it doesn't cause any damage. Slowly, slowly she's becoming much more physical, and we're both enjoying the progression.
     
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  4. Newbeginning
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    Newbeginning Member

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    Yes this sounds familiar, especially the slow but steady increase in comfort. You have an interesting playful dynamic too. May i ask how long you were married before you started these games?
     
  5. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    been together nearly 20 years, serious chastity (ie more than just a weekend lockup) for the last 5 years.
     
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