So I've finally found a device that fits having been locked in for nearly a week without release. Plus being locked up full time since Male Chastity Day. With my wife as keyholder we've been experimenting with chastity for a year or two now but always been defeated by devices. She has been get increasingly into my chastity and yesterday took teasing control more than ever before ... [Bites lip] However she also needs me to do more around the house were previously a serious health scare as seen me mostly bed bound since Christmas. I have a slow return to work ahead of me now. My question is how do I take my keyholder wife who is probably best described as vanilla with sprinkles to the next level. As in how can I volunteer to submit to her more and meet her needs both sexual and practical. Equally how van I encourage her to take the whip hand and with it control. This lent - starting tomorrow - we have already agreed I will stick to only healthy food and drink (plus I already have to ask permission to buy unnecessary items since February) so I was wondering if anybkeyholders (and others) had any hints for helping me let her take control and authority without either scaring her or pushing my demands and interests on to her. I want her to try and feel if she likes the control - and also if I can deal with the reality too. So please tell me: How do I make this lent one to remember.
I suppose what I am saying is we are both enjoying (in different ways) the chastity but she lets me get away with lots. I want to know how I can get her to experiment with authority and see how a trial FLR would work. Thanks.
Unfortunately you don’t take her to the next level. She takes her self there. Believe me I’ve tried to take my wife to the next level and in the end it doesn’t really work for us. Just give her ideas and don’t direct, just help. That’s the best advice I can give you.
Thanks @Gigaman I quite agree. Just want to be able to give her the ideas (and ability to choose/not choose them) without feeling as if they have been forced upon her. A hard balance to make.
I totally agree with @Gigaman I too have been there, wanting thing to escalate further, her to become more controlling. She will progress in her own time but there is nothing wrong with offering up ideas or suggestions in a polite respectful manner. My first couple of years I feel like I was mostly walking backwards because my expectations of my Ms. were to high. I had been living in my own fantasy world and then when I brought her into it we were not nearly on the same level. We basically had to find a good place for both of us to start once we were on the same page. My Ms. let’s me get away with quite a bit too and I’m not as good around the house as I should be but I am also progressing in that regard. Best advice I ever got is to keep honest and open communication but also be patient. I completely understand where you are coming from as I said I too phave been there and to some degree am still there. My wife and I have very busy lives at the moment and when it comes time for play when we’re finally alone, usually one of us crashes face first into the bed. Ms. and I have recently got into a show called Billions, Paul Giamatti is married to Maggie Siff and she is a totally hot dominatrix wife. My wife and I couldn’t help laughing last night as we were watching because the scene was being set with Giamatti tied to the bed and his wife standing over him in thigh high boots holding a cattle prod looking hot as hell. He was not in the mood and she could tell, she zapped him with the prod and told him that when she comes back he better be prepared for his mistress. When she did come back he had untied himself and was reading a document. She was disappointed he wasn’t into it and sat down next to him. He undid her corset and she asked if they had any ice cream. That’s totally my wife and I... we start out with good intentions of being naughty but by the end of the day we usually end up with ice cream in bed lol. Just talk to her about your thoughts and likes then leave the rest to her.
@Wonderwomanssub I would be very disappointed if there was not ice cream in bed. But currently I'm trying not to think about cattle prods and boots. Is it bad to admitting to a quick Netflix search before realizing there was a second half to that paragraph I just need to be less wussy and show her that what she does matters by results. For instance thanks to food control I'm definitely more slim and muscular (people have said ) and she definitely enjoys that benefit! (Overshare)
Showing hard work and efforts always pays off but it’s not always easy to keep up with. However your post has inspired me to, as you said “be less wussy” and put that extra effort in as I feel I’ve been slacking for my Ms. In certain areas. But when there’s lack of time for each other sometimes it becomes easy to let things slide. We can both make a pact to try harder lol
@Wonderwomanssub Just had a conversation with the wife and said about helping out more and letting her take the lead. Saying casually(!?!?) that it could make an 'interesting' Lent. Her reply was a smilely - You'd do that for me! ... oh and later that she wants me to clean the kitchen in the nude. Well just in the cage ... She's been fondling her key a lot since then.
You can't make her go at any speed other than her own. You can *show* her the benefits of chastity and FLR by acting like a well-trained husband. You say she "let's you get away with lots" -- stop getting away with it, stop doing it. Do you do it to provoke her? Or do you do it because you're tio lazy to improve? Neither is good. Submission is an active verb, not a passive status. As we've recently coined the phrase here at CM, patience [in waiting for her leadership to grow] is part of the denial.
@Rectrix I haven't been pushing things but I do need to rein in my spending. As mentioned in my last post we've just had a heart-to-heart and she has apologised for asking too much of me at the moment. The house does need a lot of work but I've been on enforced sick leave since before new year and can only stand for a very limited time without aggravating the injury. Having said that I have been putting off some jobs for the next day as I have time on my hands at the moment when I shoukd just do them to make her happy without the need for a threat of punishment.
When the feeling that you are getting away with things and she isn't stopping you shows up, I believe it is the start of a growing period. You try harder to please and make her happy, she in turn notices the changes. Just keep your focus on her. Don't try to prove anything, just be you. You give and she receives, let her take it and as she said "you would do that for me" that is the beginning of her growth of finding where she wants to be. You know what she needs, just do it and let her go for it at her own speed. Enjoy her and don't think you need to do more than ask what she would like you do for her.