The Beginning

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by DGuy91, Nov 22, 2017.

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  1. DGuy91
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    DGuy91 Member

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    Just a quick one ...

    How did you get into chastity?
    How did you discover it, who introduced you to it? etc...

    Interested to hear your stories, both wearers and keyholders, so, have at it ladies and gents!

    (Apologies if someone has asked this somewhere before)
     
  2. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well they has really.
     
  3. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    Was living in a Poly Triad with my wife and her best friend whom she shared with me. After 30 years we were to retire to a tropical climate and we both put down payments on a house since our girlfriend was married by then. Our home was ready so we moved and our girlfriend had just bought the lot for a custom built home an it would be months before she could move. So we moved first and then heard that our girlfriend's husband had lost the money he got from selling his practice and their retirement savings in the stock market during the last recession and could not move. They both had to go back to work and both are licensed to practice only in their home State.

    So my wife and I found ourselves as a couple for the first time in 30 years or our 45 year marriage. Sex was boring as a couple and we needed to find something to spice things up. We have literally tried every fetish in Fetlife.com except chastity. We inot with BDSM for our entire marriage with our girlfriend sexually dominated me and my wife marginally helped her. Part of that was no intercourse which we have not had for over 20 years now. That was due to many factors like preference, medical, our girlfriend getting married, etc..

    The only thing we found that we had not formally done was Chastity. Always thought that was crazy when I was a young man and wanted as many orgasms as possible. At that time I was 60 and my libido was not what is used to be as was my wife's. At first we started with tease and denial as I had always been interested in Tantric & Kareeza sex. Delaying my orgasms while having regular sex did provide me with more intense orgasms and fostered more intimacy. As we wanted to extend the denial times I could not promise my wife that I would not masturbate for as long as she wanted. That is when I showed her a picture of a CB6000 and she told me to get it if I wanted to.

    That was my first device and after that I tried the HT v.2, Bon4M, and two Chinese clones before going to a custom made Jail Bird which fits like a glove and enabled me to wear it 24/7 for the next 4+ years. In the process my wife went from calling our sex, fake sex since I did not orgasm, to enjoying her orgasms without having to focus on me. She was having some of the most intense orgasms of her life just like when we were first married. Gradually she got me used to 3-4 orgasms a year and I had long since stopped masturbating.

    Last month was our 45th wedding anniversary and tomorrow would mark the 5th year that I first locked up. I had lost interest in sex as had my wife. At one time I would hope to have it everyday if I could and my wife wanted it once a week. She went through 3-4 vibrators and had just bought a high end one to use moving forward. However, we just lost interest in chastity, I rarely feel horny anymore which may be due to chastity or just old age. My older friends do not even talk about sex anymore so I guess it goes with the territory.

    So I unlocked, had an orgasm an not that interested in sex anymore. I have rekindled an interest in my old hobbies. I think a lot of this is due to discontinuing a drug that increases libido but has side effects that kept me in a happy fog for the last 7 years. Other than BDSM, we usually averaged 3 years for new fetish before losing interest and this one lasted longer. So there it is. We are just free ranging it now and see what happens. Lots of stuff going on in my life to focus on and sex has dropped down the list of things to do.

    Chastity was fun. I loved the energy I got from being constantly aroused. My wife was getting tired of my sexual attention 24/7. She is happy that I am not always trying to touch her but also misses being treated as the most desirable woman in the world. We shall see but I think we are too old for any more fetish play. We have medical problems which get worse with age and are filling our life with non sexual interests. That is it.
     
  4. the glove
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    the glove Active member

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    I have been caged for years on and off, just found this outfit the chastity mansion and I am not a young pup either for me the desire never goes away
     
  5. Sarah8
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    Sarah8 My husband holds my collar and I hold his key

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    My husband introduced me to chastity play around 6 months ago. Before that we were really into teasing and edging so it wasn't really a huge leap to add some denial into the mix. It was more practical I guess. We don't make a lot of money to go out and do stuff all the time so most days we had nothing do but have sex all afternoon. Him cuming would put an end to our fun so we worked together to not let him until we were done having sex. He had ruined orgasms pretty frequently but back then I'd never heard the term. I just called it an oops we didn't pull out fast enough... there wasn't anything kinky about it, it was just sex. So when he got the chastity cage and told me he wanted me to lock his cock into it and that from then on I would need to decide when to unlock it and let him cum. I was really excited. He put it on and I played with it for a while and it was just sexy. Something about how it doesn't let him get hard is a real turn on for me. I was even disappointed when he didn't want to give me the keys until he had time to make sure it fits. That first day I stole his keys and hid them. He spent 2 hours trying to talk them out of me before he got ruthless and tickled me lol.

    It was a fun time but over the next week maybe two while he was getting used to the cage it was all he wanted to talk about, he wanted me to read all this stuff, and it started to get a little annoying and I didn't even have the keys yet. "Oh great another conversation about what I'm supposed to do" became a thought that crossed my mind daily. Like God babe lay off me already I said yes the first time remember? Enough with the torture already please. Finally he was happy with how it fit and was ready to give me the keys. I just had to read one more humongous thing that I don't even remember anymore.

    By then my excitement had dwindled noticeable. I've been ready to play since the first day and it didn't make any sense that he needed multiple days to make sure it fit. It came with a tube for this cock, and 5 ball rings. I'm pretty sure I could have figured out which one fit the best in like 10 minutes. Like for real worst case scenario "babe this ring doesn't seem to fit" oh no problem dear, let's try this ring instead. Mission accomplished. I'm getting side tracked here but really? There are only 5 options. You should try finding a pair of size 8 women's pants that fit. If I only took 5 pants into the dressing room one would be way to big, one would be alittle to big, one would be to small, one would be way to small, and one would make me look fat.

    Anyways I've been ready to start playing since day one and I really didn't need an owners manual to realize it would be fun to do things that would make him try to get hard inside the cage. It literally took me two seconds to figure that out for myself thank you. I had all these ideas to tease him I was ready to put my plans into action. Nothing super creative or anything. The first night I planed to lock him up, hide the keys, and then sit in his lap and watch tv. Simple but effective. It turns out that I can position myself to sit so that when he throbs in his cage I feel it on my pussy so it's like we are teasing each other at the same time just by sitting and watching tv. So I planed to do that until bed time then unlock him and have my way with him. He had been wearing the cage for a few days already by the time he finally got ready to give me the key so I was pretty sure he'd be so backed up he'd just soak me in cum.

    Well he proceeded dash my hopes by setting off to convince me that his first lockup should be between 3 months and 1 year.... I'm not kidding you or exaggerating. He even had me read the same crap that convinced him it was a good idea. I told him I was thinking I'd keep him locked the rest of the afternoon and then let hIm cum. Then maybe make him wait a couple days before the next time. I mean I thought when I got the key it was my turn to decide? That's what he said.... We had a fight, my excitement about chastity dropped to zero, and I ended up letting him badger me into starting off with a 3 month denial period.

    Very long story short he made it about 2 and a half months before giving up. It's was a very rough start with a lot of bad communication on both sides. It did teach us both a lot and we learned better ways to communicate. So after he had some free time I locked him back up and we started playing how I wanted to. I know I've mostly touch on the negative parts and skipped over most of the good ones but once I started taking more and more control chastity play is awesome. It really fits into our sex life now.

    Up until the Locktober challenge we did, I was only letting him out when I wanted to and it's just been awesome. We've both really enjoyed introducing this into our sex life. It's brought us much closer and helped us become much better at communication. He was denied for around a month and a half and he's currently enjoying some free time until Sunday.

    My advice to anyone just starting off would be to let her be in control from the start and don't try to speed her towards longer term denial. Just let her experience it at her own pace. Oh and also don't give her a bunch of crap to read lol. Setting clear and honest expectations is also very important.

    Seems like a common failure to tell the key holder that she just needs to lock you up and let you out whenever she wants to. Without expressing any desire to be frequently unlocked and teased. Or going into any detail about how long you expect to stay denied. If you don't communicate it could be to long or to short. So be open with eacher and make sure it stays fun.
     
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  6. DGuy91
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    DGuy91 Member

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    Thank you very much for sharing your introduction to chastity with us!

    I guess that’s an example of topping from the bottom as some say!
    I think it is very important that you have said “let her be in control” otherwise as you experienced yourself, interest wains. If we (guys) want more women to enjoy this kink, we have to make it fun for them too!

    Really pleased that this has brought you closer together with your partner and that you are both enjoying chastity play!
    I really appreciate your input Sarah8 thank you for taking the time to comment! :)
     
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  7. chasteta
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    chasteta Active member

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    I've been into femdom since I started being attracted to women. My girlfriend enjoys being dominant in bed. Those matched well and we had a lot of sex involving her dominating me.

    We have been together for about 9 years. Half of that has been spent on and off over distance for work or school reasons. When we were apart I'd masturbate a lot, since we were exclusive and didn't see other people. I almost always masturbated to something femdom related. It was inevitable that I'd run into some porn with a guy wearing a chastity cage.

    I was instantly taken with the idea. I had no clue what on earth I was doing at the time and ordered a CB6K because that was what I'd seen in porn. I used it for solo play sessions because I was afraid of what she'd think of it. It was a poor fit for me and painful when I was aroused, and I couldn't keep it on for more than 12 hours or so because of hygiene, but it was a start.

    Sometime later (at least a year or so) we were sexting and she was being dominant. I'd hidden my cage from her in that time and had never brought up anything related to it. I'd wanted to bring it up for months but I was so terrified of receiving rejection about it, since it was what I'd convinced myself I desperately wanted. During the conversation she mentioned something about chastity cages. Roughly it went:

    "Oh, are you into that?"
    "Not really but the idea seems fun."
    "Oh well, I actually already have one I got a while ago to see what it was like."
    "Really?"
    "Yeah I thought it might be a fun thing to try."
    "Show me."

    I sent a picture after managing to get it on. She didn't have much immediate interest and never really followed up on it. It wasn't really mentioned after that night. Fast forward another year, and we've finally moved in together. My job situation is bad, we have roommates with serious drug issues, and she hates everything about our living situation. Our relationship is strained, to say the least. We thought reintroducing chastity could add some spark to our completely dead sex life. As you could imagine, it did not go well and, instead, was a fantastic way to breed a ton of resentment on both sides.

    Things with the roommates came to a head one night and we decided we needed to leave, no matter what. Spent our savings paying several months rent ahead of time and got the hell out into our own place. Slowly but surely we became happier with each other in the absence of all these tensions in our place of living. Sex was good but very infrequent. There were I think 2 bouts of attempted chastity play which I initiated but were ultimately shot down because I don't yet have a perfect fit due to anatomy and she didn't really understand how to be a keyholder, especially since my cage had to be removed overnight and when I was aroused.

    A bit over a month ago we had some serious talks. We were very happy with each other in every way except in the bedroom. I had gained weight (and she had a bit, too). I was masturbating a lot and didn't have sexual energy for her. We decided to try chastity again for the hell of it but I first had my cage shortened significantly. This was so far the biggest factor I'd made in going toward long term wear. In exchange she agreed to try "lite" keyholding. I would be locked all day, only removing at night for bed. We both want me to transition to 24/7 wear, but that's still a work in progress as I get the correct fit. We've been eating better, we've both lost weight, and we've both agreed after 5 weeks of daily chastity that we're closer than we've been in a long time. I've given her more orgasms in the past month than the past year before it. Currently couldn't be happier, and it's only getting better as far as I can see. :)
     
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  8. DGuy91
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    DGuy91 Member

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    Thanks chasteta for sharing your story with us.
    I’m glad to hear you have found somewhere else to live, your last place sounded very toxic! It was a decision that sounds like it saved your relationship.
    Well done for being brave enough to tell your partner that you are interested in chastity!
    I think it was also a good idea that you didn’t pester her with it. It sounds like things developed fairly naturally, always a good thing.
    I’m really pleased things are working out for the both of you now
    Thanks for posting :)

    Once again chastity seems to have brought a couple closer together and made them happier. I see a pattern emerging!
     
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