The Alpha and HER mate (the ongoing saga of a caged wolf)

Assuming you work at least 8hours, no play time on school nights, or weekends...that about covers the whole week. When did you guys usually fool around?

Just curious, it seems even if the stars all align and you create the perfect storm for intimacy, you’ve cut no windows out for any play.

 

Sorry I was in a "mood" last night. Reading your posts you sounded genuinely unhappy and I would hate to think chastity has a role in causing it...is all. I just wish everyone the best in their journey...

 

Can you guys get a weekend away to jump start things????

 

Wolf...my wife is 8 years younger, I know very little about you guys, and this may be sacrilege on a chastity site...but have you considered dumping the device and being the "man" for a bit? Again I have not read your full story...but...is it possible you manning up and taking her for a while would help spice things up? (36 is young, my wife is 38 and still totally hot)

I only introduced my wife to my sexual submissiveness a few years ago, chastity a few months...but I know deep down what turns her on is when I excel at "man things"...work out and be strong physically, teach the kids things, win at work, and am aggressive when its her "good week" (ovulation)...Every once in a while she needs to know I'm her man...then she's happy to lock me up and tease me about it.

Again If this is not your situation that's cool...just a thought to try to bring her out of the cold. Some women respond to "polarity"...she woman, you man...cave people! Its borderline scope on this site but for trying to make a "real" marriage work worth considering. Shed the cage and hit the gym and let her ask why??? (occasionally deep loving relationships require a bit of "engineering" and "trickery" to keep the fire up...JMO)

good luck Wolf...

 

Caged Wolf,

I have been reading your saga for some time. You seem to wrestle with yourself at every turn, from your physical ailments, your mental status, home life, and finally your relationship with Mistress Wolf and chastity itself. But I have to say you are a product of your own demise. If I recall you stopped posting here because of the turmoil it was causing between you and Mistress Wolf. It appears she was frustrated with all of it and was done. As happened several times you press the reset button, things go well for a while and then the fast-downhill mental slide starts again. If you go back and read your posts from an unbiased perspective, you will see this cyclical pattern. Another observation is in your submissive/dominant behavior. You are submissive if things are going your way, if not you increasingly become frustrated, increase your dominance, and things blow up. Then to fix it you go submissive. Essentially you are topping from the bottom. Again, your physical issues tend to compound your behavior as you become depressed over your situation and then frustrated with chastity and Mistress Wolf.

I say all this because I get it. I am sure most of us who have read your journal would say the same. I think you are at a crossroads with your relationship with Mistress Wolf and your wife, and your freedom and chastity. In the last several entries, you mention lack of attention, staying in chastity, hoping your submissive behavior will pay off with a reward all to get what you want. You either need to stop the chastity “game” for a while and reconnect with your wife or stop trying to top her and accept your role as Caged Wolf for real. If you want to be in an FLR, have a mistress, and use chastity to enforce that lifestyle, then accept it and do it and stop trying to control the situation.

In previous posts, you have said she does not want a sissy. You do not have to be a sissy to be submissive, but you apparently need to stop putting yourself first, and when you do not get your way you sink into depression and frustration and try to force situations. As previously stated back to the cycle. You need to create consistency within your relationship, as you have said, nothing is more confusing and frustrating when things change from day-to-day. I am sure Mistress Wolf feels the confusion and frustration with your behaviors.

Currently, you are not getting what you want from Mistress Wolf, and you are upset. In an FLR it is up to her, she will decide, and you should do as she wants. I too have grappled with becoming genuinely submissive in an FLR; it is hard, I topped a lot and put what I wanted first. This behavior created friction in our relationship. Once I started to truly embrace the relationship, Mistress readily took on more of the role of leading the relationship. She became confident in her position and embraced the real control she had in the relationship and over me. There have been times when months had gone by without me providing any “service” to Mistress. That was up to her, and I obeyed. I stayed locked for over a year with no release. However, I never voiced my frustration. Instead, my energy was focused on her needs and pleasing her. She was the dominant player, the leader, the one in control, I knew it, and she understood it. Once she truly knew she could be “serviced” without any regard for my wellbeing things really took off. I still provide the stability of being her partner, but she is in control. My need to “service” her is now my only release, and very rewarding at that.

The situation you find yourself in is your choice, there is no wrong answer, but you need to break this cycle and make a decision. Honestly, from the outside, it is tough to watch as you mentally abusing yourself.

Thanks.

 

I hate the term " be careful what you wish for", it's often banded about by those guys lucky enough to actually get what they wish for, and more often than not is used to "rub it in" in the minds of those guys who aren't getting what they wished for, and wished they had. If that makes sense. That aside.

However you look at this thing, whether it's chastity, a FLR, submissiveness, subservience, all us guys are seeking a "sexual thrill" from being controlled by a woman. Ironically, and probably very confusing for the ladies, submissive men tend to get more of a thrill being denied orgasms by the woman, than receiving one.

As a consequence, we all do whatever we can to "make" our women more controlling, more assertive, even more dominant. Very few women are naturally dominant, and even fewer "vanilla" women, become the sort of domineering wives or girl friends that most submissive men would like them to be. Topping from the bottom, very rarely works, certainly not long term, so the majority of us end up doing what we have trained our minds to become, and that is submissive and obedient to our women. We convince ourselves that if being truly submissive means that we have to accept that our wives or girl friends will only go a certain way to fulfilling our fantasies, then that's what we will have to do, either that or just give up on the whole concept and go back to a vanilla relationship with very little sexual excitement or variety.

When I look at my avatar, it screams to me feminine, sexy, a woman, teasing, a sexy feminine woman teasing my submissive mind, and knowing my weakness for the feminine power she has over me, using it to have me pleasure and meet her needs. More over, what I think we all want is to feel and sense that our woman actually want to use their feminine charm to encourage and foster the submissive side of their man, but she will only do this in ways that she finds acceptable and enjoyable.

The point I am making is that in the end, you will only get close to what you think you wish for, by truly submitting to your wife or girl friend, without preset ideals and "targets", and learning to like and enjoy her really being in charge. You may never get the recognition, or interplay that you had wished for, but the alternative is far more difficult to swallow, if like me you can not hide from the submissive mindset that drives you to desire your ultimate submission to a woman.

 

@Caged Wolf please don't think I was having a go at you about the "be careful" comment. More a general observation about how and why it is often used.

As far as the rest was concerned, I agree with you. In fact I would go a bot further. Just because we label ourselves as submissive some people think that should just be grateful for what we receive, even if that is little or no encouragement or input from our wives or girl friends. They do so on the basis that if you were truly submissive you can or should be happy with just serving your partner.

I certainly don't agree with that sentiment. To be submissive and respond accordingly, you need a dominant partner to control or at least set the tone for your submissive behaviour. If there is no encouragement, no tease, or expectation, then your not really submitting, it's just one way stuff.

At base level, we submissive aren't as much motivated by our need to submit to a woman, more that we are sexually aroused by being controlled or dominated by a woman. This is what and why we crave the feeling and experience of being bossed around, ordered about, having the woman expect our service, and most importantly, using her knowledge of our weakness and fondness for being teased and sexually aroused by them.

Bottom line is we need their input and encouragement, in what ever and many different forms, but we need it. It's not sufficient to just expect a submissive man to be happy because he's doing what she wants or not as the case maybe. Just doing is not reward enough, if you're being ignored and taken for granted.

 

We recently had to put down a furkid, a 7 year old chocolate lab that was her world. Her kidneys shut down for some reason, they don’t know why.

We could have stretched things out, fluids, special food, constant vet trips, cleaning up puke and poop, helping her around, but we realized it would have been for us and not her. She kept trying to please us to the very end, she was special, but it became apparent we were being selfish by not letting her go.

I wish you all the best and hope your furkid’s journey ends with you there to the end. I know it’s tough, my condolences for the loss to come, and greatfulness for what she/he gave you.