The Alpha and HER mate (the ongoing saga of a caged wolf)

Mistress Jules, Jasmic, and Nicoftime

Thank you all for you comments, I am glad they may help others who may not understand what a 24/7/365 FLR or D/s is really like. I know I have not been posting like I did, but I do post when I feel it is needed, good or bad.

But the real thanks needs to go to Mistress Wolf for agreeing to this crazy journey, and having the strength to continue and improve (drastically) through the trials adn pain of the last 2 years. Without Her strength I would have folded, and the growth She has gone through has been so great to see. To me that is what it is truly about, not my being able to submit, but Her being able to accept the responsibility of leading, and to learn and grow Herself in the process... That alone is worth any discomfort or bad days I have dealt with.

 

@Jasmic68
I understand that I have had a significant part in all of this, but the reality is without Mistress Wolf's involvement and growth the whole thing would have failed long ago...

Yes there have been huge ups and downs, and times when thing just seem to roll along on their own, but I've tried to honestly portray all of it. That's all I can do

 

and, as of Wednesday evening, I'm sick, again. Same sinus crap as last time, but with a migraine kicker. This is Saturday, the migraine has backed down, but I'm still hacking and stuff. I know it's partially because I just push through and keep going, but with the job I have I can't just stop, take the time off, and get healthy... No sick or vaca...

 

been a week, still hacking and stuff, migraines several nights this week, middle of the night ones that suck. Mistress Wolf asked yesterday why I was so grumpy. I replied, not meaning to be grumpy, just don't feel good, and it's all been rough this week. Had 'friends' attacking me for my choices, people I love closing doors, and just physically hurt from doing too much. Haven't been hugged in several days (until just a little bit ago), and have felt unwanted.

Trying very hard to avoid going any further down this rabbit hole or depression... just need a littel break, a chance to have some fun adn be me for a bit.

 

Had a good day Saturday. Little One had a school function most of the day, so I took Mistress to a nice restaurant for breakfast, then over the the local museum for a couple of hours of exploring before heading back toward the house with a stop to pick up some burgers for kunch at one of the best little places in the area.

Afternoon and evening were pretty low key, but once Little one was in bed Mistress Wolf come over to me adn "suggested" we go to the bedroom and see what happened...

What happened was lots of satisfaction for Her, starting with some touch and finger work. Mistress told me "no oral due to still coughing", but as things progressed She told me in no uncertain terms "I want you down there...!", so, on to some enthusiastic oral leading to multiple strong orgasms. After the final one, after She pushed me away, we laid there, my head resting gently on Her hip, Her messing with my hair. I finally asked if She was done, She replied "No", so off to the bathroom to wrap, was told no spray this time, but was using an Enhanced Pleasure delay condom. Several more intense orgasms for her, including one caused by Her FINALLY really digging in and scratching my back like I've been asking for for a long time now. She later said She could feel me getting bigger when She dug in harder, lol... Think She finally understands!

Finally, as She was getting close for around the 6th or 7th time I felt that old familiar sensation deep down, and told Her about it. She told me "Good",knowing i wanted it to all be about Her, but as things got closer to the finish She told me She knew I didn't want to finish, but it was time, with that said I took us both over the point of no return and we finished together in a way we haven't in the recent past.

After showers, etc, we headed to be and both sleep better than we have in several weeks...

It's got to NOT be the King!!!

 

Mistress Jules,
Yes it is amazing how quickly things seem to go sour, but also what a good night sleep and some closeness and care can do. I really don't like posting the down posts, but it is a very real part of life.

 

Mistress Jules,
Sorry to hear that you and lockit have had a rough time as well. good thoughts for all...

Things are still going well here, no more play, but things are pleasant, and we are both slowly feeling better. Took a few days off this week to heal and get caught up on some things I've let slide, the feeling of getting things accomplished helps!

 

After a pretty good week of to get healthier and celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday (with all the craziness involved) Mistress Wolf and i finally had a chance to relax and enjoy last night. Shared about a 2 hour window of pleasure, me numbed thoroughly, and Her experiencing everything I could do to pleasure Her.

Did have a little issue, right in the middle of things the dog decided he needed to go outside (We have a fenced yard, and he is on some meds that make him have to go more), so quick break, Mistress used the bathroom while I let the dog out. I kind of could have gone pee, but with the numbing and condom it was more trouble than it was worth, or so I thought...

By the time we got back in bed I had lost some of my hardness, and had a real time trying to get it back since I couldn't feel ANYTHING down there (keep forgetting this new spray is considerably stronger than the Stud spray and i keep using the same amount I used to). Finally changed positions several times and found one Mistress really likes that I could make work, Kept at it, Mistress Wolf lost count of how many times She went over the edge, but eventually I found a spot that I could feel a little bit, and really started working! As I got bigger ad firmer again it kept pushing Mistress to new heights, Her response helping me regain more, and so on....

Finally, as She was starting towards another BIG climax I felt that familiar feeling and focused, hitting that point where I know I can finish, Mistress picking up on that fact from my motion and sounds, and She started clamping down which drove me right to the edge. Whimpering now, I told Her I was so close, could I? She actually told me "no"!!! As She went over for the final time I hit the point of no return and tried to stop, to find a different stroke that didn't push me any further, but I lost. It was not a big climax, one little spurt that I felt, then just drained... Definitely a ruined, but did nothing to satisfy me.

As we cuddled in the afterglow, my head resting gently on her forearm She commented "That's the first time I've ever felt like I was actually melting!" I just smiled happily. After a bit I got up and started Her shower, helped Her up, and remade the bed. After Her shower and helping Her dry off I was allowed my shower. Mistress went looking for a post romp snack, which She only does when She is really and truly satisfied.

As we laid in bed dozing off I made sure to Thank Her again for everything... So glad We have stuck with this journey...

 

wow, almost a month since the last post, and nothing has really changed...

 

ups and downs, not much play, back to not a lot of touching, etc. Life is okay, just stress from job, finances, holidays, etc.

 

Had some talk time with Mistress Wolf yesterday/last night about the lack of interest... It's possible it's the BC pills, or the stress of holidays, finances, job(s), etc , but she is going to get an appointment and talk to her Dr soon about this and a couple of other issues.

She was joking about getting 'hot and bothered' by pic's a friend of ours posts (nearly naked hot guys) and said She had to stop looking before she couldn't ... Given the lack of interest in me that kind of hurt... BUT, while talking we were also flirting, touching, etc... and things went well last night.... over about an hour and a half Mistress had too many to count and i had NONE!

Life really is going well, even with the new standard time frame, and if it is truly what Mistress wants and needs then I'm okay with it, but when She is the one who brings up the subject and starts apologizing to me for the 'lack' then it concerns me....

 

Last night I was again allowed to pleasure Mistress Wolf, but this was different. Started with some comfortable talking and light touching, then moved to heavy petting before I was allowed to touch Her intimacy. That touching brought Her several minor climax's, and as I was considering asking if I should go spray and wrap Mistress Wolf suddenly told be "I want your tongue down there." I continued digital manipulation for a few more moments, and was told the same thing again, but more directly, "I want your tongue there, NOW!"

So, down I start, first kissing Her stomach, up to Her breasts, then back down to Her thighs, lightly kissing everywhere I went before , finally, going where I was told to. Mistress was quickly squirming in pleasure, reaching several climaxes before going over the top with a full body shaking, massive Orgasm.

I stopped, and gently rested my head on Her hip, before grabbing the blankets and pulling them, and myself, up Her body to cover Her and keep Her warm as She came back down. From Her reaction it became obvious that She was totally done, satisfied, and not interested in any further play, leaving me rock hard with no chance, even minimally with the spray and wrap, to finish. Not even a chance to enjoy the feeling of Her!

Yes, She took this completely for Her! I am still in awe at this step in Her journey, and what it cold mean for me! That's been over a month since my last true orgasm, with only a ruined one slightly less than a month ago! YAY!

 

Wow, allowed to pleasure Mistress Wolf again last night! She is getting so much better at telling me what and how SHE wants, and last night told me "go spray and wrap so you can finish what you've started." I didn't move fast enough, a She added "Now!"

Out of bed and tot he bathroom to spray and wrap, also grabbed the bottle of lube out of the bottle warmer (new addition to the bathroom, cold lube is harsh), and back to bed, quickly getting things going again. Mistress had several good climax's and I was totally numb, and started to get a little soft. Mistress looked up at me and said "maybe me at the edge of the bed and you standing would help.."

Oh, it helped alright, 3 more quick climax's for Her before I hit a spot I could feel just a little... added a little more lube, randomly pulled out and rubbed up her, then back in..., could tell She was getting close, and I was starting to feel the beginning of the build up also. As She hit the peak I wanted to finish so bad, but also didn't want to. As She went over the top I had work so hard to keep Her going and not go over myself, was right at that point! After She was done I had to stop and be still, one or two more strokes and I'd have been too far, as it was I wasn't sure I could maintain... After a few moments I gently removed myself and She smiled at me, saying "I knew you were SO close, and would have had another if you had finished, but now I'm all done."

Helped Her up, and got Her shower going, took care of all the little things post pleasure and pre-bed, Once in bed I thanked Her for everything, I know it's been a rough couple of years trying to figure it all out, but we seem to have found a balance that SHE is happy with, and that's what matters.

As for me, It's been well over a month now since I finished, and my mood has been more level, I look at things differently than the week or so after finishing. I honestly don't care if I ever finish again, though I know Mistress Wolf likes it (a lot) when I do, so I will have to deal with the hormone changes when it does happen the best ways I can.

So happy Mistress Wolf never gave up on me, or on this crazy ride...

 

Well, it's been a while since the last post, and things are rolling along..

Was allowed to pleasure Mistress back on the 7th, and it was a very good time, but still no release for me, then things got a little busy in life and nothing has happened again until today, just after lunch Mistress asked me if I wanted to go 'get naked'.. well duh.

Pleasure ensued, Mistress Wolf have many, many climaxes, and I could tell when the last one hit Her, the body reaction is different. AS She came back down I asked if that was indeed the finale, was told "Yes". Helped Her up, off to the Shower, etc..

My last 'good' climax was 20 Nov, with a ruined one on 27 Nov... nothing more for me since, just pleasure for Mistress Wolf. I am really liking this step of the journey!