The 4 D's

If you are saying that most men could physically refuse this lifestyle then, generally speaking, this is true. However, I wouldn't say that 'it's fantasy' to be living an FLR life in this way. In my experience (and I appreciate I only speak for myself here, but would say much of what I feel seems to be reciprocated generally with what I find online) the need to submit to a female/the feminine is deep within the male psyche of some of us. After a period where the female becomes increasingly dominant, the male becomes increasingly submissive. For my partner and I, it is a powerful rush for the me to submit and hand control over, and a rush for the Mistress to be the one in control and have the power.

Could the male stop it through physical force? In most cases, yes. But physically most men could commit rape, yet in the huge amount of cases they choose not to. Why?

Most men don't want to rape women, and most submissive men want to be dominated. When you are in a relationship where the man is sexually excited and fulfilled by the female controlling it, and the female is fulfilled and sexually satisfied by dominating the relationship, then the man does not 'allow' it, he actively craves and desires it. It is of mutual satisfaction and benefit to both. This is not the same thing at all as 'allowing it'.

My Mistress loves to feminise me, fuck me, torture me, humiliate me, dominate me and use me. When she does so I relinquish my masculinity and become utterly submissive and subservient and deeply, deeply enjoy it and desire it. When put in my 'slave space' I become fearful of her punishments, I cry, I cling to her and bare my soul to her. In our day-to-day lives I have respect for my partner, I love her, and I protect her in every way a man should - but I can promise you if you met me you would have no idea we were in an FLR (although you probably would notice how attentive I am towards her).

But when she wants it, she need only pinch my nipples and utter a command and I am going into my slave-space... I become utterly subservient. Pleasing and pleasuring my Mistress, My Queen, My Goddess, My Mummy is all I care about.

In a way, yes it's adult playtime, but in another way it fulfils a deep spiritual and psychological need in both me and my partner. When we play then yes we are in fantasy scenarios (teacher, nanny, mummy, dominatrix, Queen, horse trainer, toilet slave, whatever) but the emotions we express are 100% NOT acting! The emotions are genuine.

TL;DR I respectfully disagree with this!

Sorry for the long post everyone!

 

Dip
Dodge
Dive
Duck
and Dodge

 

Post consent... that is when there might be a grey area of "forcing" or at least enforcment. Keyholding means leverage if the KH wants it. It is like being the driver of a car... the passengers can crash the car by their actions, but the driver is in total control. Of course consenting adults are not forced, but when you are commited to your relationship, on board if you will, you have given up some control for the duration of the ride. In my exp even long after the device might've been off the mental effect of submission remains mostly in place. The 4 Ds are now the corners of my own relationship, but getting there took years, and I totally agree that if implemented incrementally they surround chastity with 'compromises for a typical male considering societal positions' or just create vulnerabilities that motivate cooperation, perhaps for a very long time.

 

My wife asked what I thought about the 4 D's. I answered 2 D's. Destruction and Divorce.

 

My view:

A weekly discipline session between a dominant wife and her submissive husband is vital.

- I agree. Yes it's true. That's right.

In a successful Femdom marriage, the hubby needs to be doing the majority of the housework.

- It's not 100% true. It is often a mutual agreement and it's variable. Life is complicated.

And the best tool to remind him of his domesticated role is to require him to wear panties.

- And that is absolutely not true. No women's panties or other women's clothing fer men. No. The woman is superior sex. And therefore women's dress is also a superior dress. The right man should be naked. - It is ideal.


It’s been said that a denied male is an obedient male. I would add that an aroused male is also a motivated male. A sexually satisfied male is more likely to be a lazy and complacent male. And not only is the denial process essential in keeping a man obedient outside the bedroom, it can be vital in training a man to be a great lover. The denial process will teach your hubby to focus his sexual energy on pleasuring the woman (especially orally). Only after the woman has been sexually satisfied will she decide whether or not her hubby is to receive any sexual relief. How often a man is allowed sexual relief will be up to the woman as she weighs his performance, his attitude and his level of servitude. This gives the woman sexual power over her man...

- Yes, 100% true.

 

Before getting into what is the bedrock of FLR, maybe discuss exactly what she may like. Why would a FLR involve anything that she wasn’t into?

Another small fact, anyone notice that most of the activities mentioned are also male submissive fantasy themes? Pegging, feminization, discipline, and teasing, all very familiar themes with submissive men, so yeah I’m certain it would surely keep a sub interested. If however, the female in the female led relationship is not interested, then doing those activities would be the opposite of female led.

Being led means giving up control, which by no means dictating what activities she is compelled to do or make you do. Are all of those mentioned above common themes, kinks, and useful information on what turns submissive men on? Yes. Are those activities something a woman who is leading should feel obligated to do even if she isn’t into it? No.

Which level of control and to what degree is individual with each couple. I think we have a very mid level. I relinquished control of the chores, cooking, shopping, sex, and generally do what she wants. We do discuss things, I tell her my point of view, and let her make the final call. She wouldn’t want FULL control, as it would be overwhelming and too much work. Which would be the opposite of what she wants, which is hardly her being in control.

It is always a great idea however, for partners to know what makes them tick, what turns them on, and what doesn’t. If she knows something turns you on, she may do that activity, even if she is getting more out it by you being turned on. It doesn’t mean she will do those things, but knowing each other puts it out there if the other wants to take the lead and explore if it’s desired.

 

Another way to get a man become a better lover is to have more sex and communicate during sex. If a woman isn't sexually satisfied it is at least 50% her fault and the same is true if a male isn't satisfied. A denied male ( unless it is play) is a time bomb waiting to go off with the right trigger. KH need to remember that they hooked up with someone they love and if that changes they need to disolve the union.