Hi everybody, this is my introduction. I found this website through Mistress Watchful's posts on chastitylifestyle.com and am not surprised to see she has created a much better website. So much better that this time I want to get involved. Apologies for lurking back at the other site. I'm a 30 year old submissive male from Essex, UK. I've known I was submissive since my early teens. In my twenties I used the Internet to meet a few people and had a few very special BDSM encounters/relationships (special to me, that is, they weren't special like involving a famous person or getting caught up in a huge Femdom conspiracy). My first Mistress was online only, always talking about meeting up but never following through. A shame as she knew how to verbally degrade me like no one since. I later found out that the pictures she supplied were of an American porn actress. I've since been dominated by 3 people in real life and had a wonderful time although there was always something that prevented the relationship continuing. Whether it was they were heavy smokers (when they were supposed to be quitting and I didn't have a good reaction to all that smoke), secretly pregnant from their former lover (and I was too young to deal with that), as well as living too far away. Also for other reasons I may talk about when I feel more comfortable. Currently I may or may not be coming out of a five year vanilla relationship. I'm best friends with my girlfriend but we seem to be totally incompatible when it comes to sex. She will only want to have sex maybe once or twice a year (if that) and then only missionary position. Other than that she doesn't like oral, giving or receiving (and like most submissive guys I love to give oral), or playing with toys or even using my hands to pleasure her. She will give me hand jobs, if I ask, but doesn't pleasure herself. We've tried roleplaying a few times (in five years) but she has a huge thing for cleanliness so won't have me crawl round on the floor or kiss her feet (and I love feet), or anything she deems dirty. Unfortunately that rules out a lot. Combine that with her not like playing with toys and you don't have a lot left. I bought a CB6000 (with her consent) hoping that we could turn this lack of sex into a positive but she hasn't taken to it and won't even hold the key. We don't live together so I can wear it when she's not around and fantasise about how my life could be. Maybe if I was better in bed we could work things out but I'm not that big down there and haven't had much practise at using it. Don't want you to think that it's all her fault. It's a shame because it was her dominant personality that attracted me to her in the first place. Unfortunately 'she cares for me too much to be dominant with me'. Hopefully this will be a place I can vent my frustrations and live vicariously through the words of others. Maybe even help out as I've had a long time to think over my previous relationships.
Wow, you are a sad little thing arent you!!! Dosent sound to Me that you have any relationship with this girl at all, and 5 years wasted...well, you do have a friend to show for the 5 years. Maybe you need to sit in a quite corner somewhere in a dark room and think ahead to where you are going to be a year from now....sitting in the same corner having not moved on....or enjoying something else??? Maybe you two can remain friends...but as far as what you want, dont think you're going to get it from your girlfriend. Think about it, work on it, and let us know how things are going. And...Welcome to Chastity Mansion, you will see that the ones here are more genuine, careing and helpful than what you can find on chastitylifestyle. Mistress Watchful and Her pet have created a wonderful home for us, and we try very hard to take care of it. Thanks for joining us and shareing, hope all works out for you, let us know. Mistress Michelle
Thank you for welcoming me, Mistress Michelle. It does sound quite sad. I've always hoped she would change but I'm probably too submissive for my own good and to force the issue. Maybe I can use this website to focus my mind on what I want. Just seems weird to be thinking about 'what I want'. That is not my usual position in a relationship.
Welcome humbleboy. :bigsmile: Thank you for joining us. I'm sorry you haven't been quite as successful in your relationship as you would like :sad: It's horrible when you are so incompatible - ask me, I know! Married to someone for 12 years who was in all respects a fabulous husband and father... but didn't push my buttons AT ALL. I had to find the way out. Not advocating you should do the same... keep trying if you love her and want to carry on, there is always hope. Have you tried the Male Chastity book? It's a very well written book for women, but a very sensible and sensitive woman. There might be a review in the Library... if not, it's about time somebody wrote one - we all own it! LOL
Hi, Mistress Watchful, thank you. I'd forgot that you were in a similar (but way more complicated) situation. If you could find happiness through all that, there's hope for me My girlfriend is my first love, my only love. Part of the problem is I can't imagine connecting so well with anyone else. Apart from the physical, of course. She's not a big reader and so far I've failed to get her to read anything about Femdom. And I've tried. I'll try out the Male Chastity book, thank you.
Humbleboy, your situation sounds a lot like mine. I've been with the same woman for 18 years. We care deeply for each other, but our sex lives are basically dead. We're totally incompatible. It comes down to deciding if that's what your relationship is about. If I knew 17 years ago what I know now, I would have broken it off. Unfortunately (or fortunately), after being together so long, you really become a part of one another. Best of luck with your decisions, whatever they are.