Hi everybody, this is my introduction. I found this website through Mistress Watchful's posts on chastitylifestyle.com and am not surprised to see she has created a much better website. So much better that this time I want to get involved. Apologies for lurking back at the other site. I'm a 30 year old submissive male from Essex, UK. I've known I was submissive since my early teens. In my twenties I used the Internet to meet a few people and had a few very special BDSM encounters/relationships (special to me, that is, they weren't special like involving a famous person or getting caught up in a huge Femdom conspiracy). My first Mistress was online only, always talking about meeting up but never following through. A shame as she knew how to verbally degrade me like no one since. I later found out that the pictures she supplied were of an American porn actress. I've since been dominated by 3 people in real life and had a wonderful time although there was always something that prevented the relationship continuing. Whether it was they were heavy smokers (when they were supposed to be quitting and I didn't have a good reaction to all that smoke), secretly pregnant from their former lover (and I was too young to deal with that), as well as living too far away. Also for other reasons I may talk about when I feel more comfortable. Currently I may or may not be coming out of a five year vanilla relationship. I'm best friends with my girlfriend but we seem to be totally incompatible when it comes to sex. She will only want to have sex maybe once or twice a year (if that) and then only missionary position. Other than that she doesn't like oral, giving or receiving (and like most submissive guys I love to give oral), or playing with toys or even using my hands to pleasure her. She will give me hand jobs, if I ask, but doesn't pleasure herself. We've tried roleplaying a few times (in five years) but she has a huge thing for cleanliness so won't have me crawl round on the floor or kiss her feet (and I love feet), or anything she deems dirty. Unfortunately that rules out a lot. Combine that with her not like playing with toys and you don't have a lot left. I bought a CB6000 (with her consent) hoping that we could turn this lack of sex into a positive but she hasn't taken to it and won't even hold the key. We don't live together so I can wear it when she's not around and fantasise about how my life could be. Maybe if I was better in bed we could work things out but I'm not that big down there and haven't had much practise at using it. Don't want you to think that it's all her fault. It's a shame because it was her dominant personality that attracted me to her in the first place. Unfortunately 'she cares for me too much to be dominant with me'. Hopefully this will be a place I can vent my frustrations and live vicariously through the words of others. Maybe even help out as I've had a long time to think over my previous relationships.