Taking it slow

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Design is me, Jun 29, 2018.

  1. Design is me
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    Design is me Member

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    My wife comes home from a five day trip tonight. I have not had an orgasm in almost three weeks. She will probably be tired so I am planning to pamper her tonight and hope for a release tomorrow.
    The advice I keep getting is to take it slow so I am trying to do that. I did need to self lock myself while she was gone, but I am not going to tell her that for fear of scaring her off from the whole chastity thing. I am on the honor system now and it has worked with some help from the cage.
    If I can keep this going for a while i hope one day she will be more open to using a chastity device in me.
     
  2. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Member

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    I love the post...and cannot wait for updates :)
     
  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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  4. Design is me
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    Design is me Member

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    Yes. She is very traditional and Hayes the idea of me wearing something on my privates. I ordered one online and she got the package before I could get home and tell her. She freaked out when she saw what it was and it went straight into the trash we actually laughed about it a few weeks ago. So she is softening up a little.
    We have an arrangement where I can't masturbate and I am only able to have a release inside her. She likes traditional sex. I love the arrangement, but I am very kinky so I want a little more.
    She just got back and is taking a shower. She was at an amusement park all day as a chaperone. I told her I would rub her feet and back until she fell asleep.
     
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  5. Design is me
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    Design is me Member

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    Thank you. I am trying. I will keep you posted.
     
  6. Retired
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    Retired Locked 6 years Nov 2018

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    Bingo. That is the way I did it and I am still wearing my device going on 6 years. My wife is very comfortable with chastity and decides when I orgasm by observing if I am in mental or physical distress. After all, she loves me and this is just a sex game that is a small part of our married life. Baby steps have worked great for us.
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Good luck. Just take it steady.
     
  8. slave stroppy
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    slave stroppy senior member

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    Great advice from everyone no two people are the same so you just have to be patient and let your wife move at a speed she is comfortable with , if at all. I recently got my wife to read this little article which i found which explained exactly how and why some of us have these feelings inside us and how it can be incorporated into a normal everyday life if agreeable. I liked that it was not threatening or scary and i felt so many points were covered in a gentle but informative way and it said so many things that i have felt inside me for so many years. she has certainly taken a long time to come to terms with some of my kinks but since reading the article she has run with quite a few ideas especially the ones that benefit her. https://lockthecock.co.uk/collections/male-chastity-devices
     
  9. Design is me
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    Design is me Member

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    She got home last night and I was able to rub her back and feet until she fell asleep. She did ask this morning if I had made myself cum so she is keeping up with whether I do or don't. I hope to make love tonight to end this three week denial.
    I almost want to keep it going, but it is up to her.
     
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  10. Funtell1
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    Funtell1 New member

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    Disclaimer ; What do I know !
    I may have a very unpopular thought concerning your situation as it's similar to my own or at least it was just a few weeks/months ago . Why not just be you . Think about it , if you become the type of partner you want to be with or without your wife's blessing as long as you are respectfully and put her in the forefront of your mind and goals s then she may just see what she doesn't know she wants . Don't overdo it with things you will be just "making yourself do " but just do what your feelings or motivation wants you to do . For instance I find while being locked up I seem to use my time more wisely and more or less do things around the house like fix or clean off a counter or something . No I'm not going to act like I'm going to do the laundry if I really don't want to ( because that's what she can make me do if she wants to because I and you will probably do it if she learns to weild enough power ) but for sure if you lock yourself up you will probably find you become more active anyway but don't give it your all or for better words don't fake it . That's would just be robbing her of the chance to experience the REAL she can posses if she wants to.
     
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  11. Design is me
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    Finally got to make love to my wife and the orgasm was amazing. I think it lasted more than a minute. She woke up a little horny yesterday morning and she teased me for few minutes and to my surprise said she wanted me inside her. Three weeks without an O was finally ended. It was definitely worth it.
    I find that I am being myself when I'm in denial, but I am more attentive to her needs. When I was masturbating each day, I was mainly focused on myself and when I could make myself cum again. I know I am only on the honor system now and I could do it behind her back, I find that I don't think about it all the time. She does like it and hopefully it will progress
     
  12. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Did you tell her that you needed to self-lock to get through hard periods?
     
  13. Design is me
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    Design is me Member

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    No, I'm afraid that if she new it mess up the whole thing. She can be very judgemental of anything that is different from the norm. I am hopeful because she doesn't want me to masturbate or look at porn and she loves to be pampered. I use the cage as a kind of release for my kinky side. If I didn't wear it on the difficult days, there is no telling what I would get into.
     
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  14. Jjislocked
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    Jjislocked New member

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    My wife is fairly traditional as well. I started out by finding her some articles and books about how chastity could benefit her. Kind of eased her into the idea slowly. Once she got curious enough about it, we got our first cage. After the first week in the cage, she decided she really liked the way it changed my behavior. Good luck to you.
     
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  15. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    If I had a dollar for every time I've read this.... Once she sees the change be careful....
     
  16. x_Pete_x
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    x_Pete_x New member

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    Thanks for the post, looks like most of you already know my wife, it's that recognizable.

    I already bought a device and was able to wear it for 84 hours, self locked. But unfortunately the wife doesn't like it at all, she says it's a turn off. I'm now trying to let her read some things online about the benefits for her but today I was told that I was pushy, so apparently the baby steps need to get even smaller.

    If anyone has any methods or magic spells to speed up the process I'm all ears.
     
  17. Skywalker41918
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    Skywalker41918 Active member

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    My wife was traditional in the beginning but with time everything changes and so did she for one who thought chastity was stupid to one who never loses hold of the key, and cuckold was a dirty word to one who found the sexual satisfaction from a well endowed male cock and a husband love of watching her receiving sexual pleasure
     
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