Taking it seriously

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Onthehorizon, Nov 4, 2022.

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  1. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    My marriage has always been relatively healthy for the most part. We've dabbled in some chastity play in the past, but ultimately she either wasn't interested or the devices I had weren't suitable for us.

    Recently chastity has taken on a renewed meaning for me. I've been taking it "seriously." so to speak. I cut out porn, which in turn has curbed the masturbation habit. But I still read chastity captions from time to time. My aim was to get control of my desires and make improvements to my health and psychological wellbeing.

    As of the last couple of months ago, I attempted to reintroduce chastity play into our marriage. I purchased the A272 Stainless Steel chastity cage.

    When it arrived in the post, she teased me about it and made fun of me for buying weird toys again. I must admit I was both embarrassed and excited when it arrived. I hadn't planned to tell her about it straightaway but since she opened my mail it was an easy icebreaker. She laughed it off and set it aside for me. When I got home that evening, I rushed to wear my chastity device and carried on business as usual.

    I wouldn't say that my wife was ever really involved" in the process per se. She isn't into chastity play at all and would probably prefer if I didn't lock myself in strange contraptions, but l've explained myself in the past so she just amuses my weird kinks and sort of leaves me to it.

    I've been wearing it permanently for a couple of weeks now and here are some of the things l've noticed so far;

    • All non-sexual forms of intimacy have increased. I notice we hug and kiss a lot more. We touch hands and cuddle.
    • I've been a lot more helpful with household chores and have a little more energy to get things done.
    • My overall mood has improved positively. I'm far less likely to be snappy with our children and more affectionate towards them.
    • Communication between has been decent but I find I find it easier to be engaged when she's talking.

    I've stopped expecting physical intimacy, crave more emotional intimacy and l'm generally happy to give her a foot rub and just listen to her speaking.

    My wife has felt more relaxed around me, (although she'd never admit it especially in the bedroom. We have been intimate a couple times since l've been in chastity but she's initiated it each time. When she's in the mood to rumble tumble, she'll ask me to take it off. I know she secretly enjoys dictating when we can be intimate.

    Please note that I'm not attributing all of this to me being in chastity. I did make some other conscious lifestyle changes too but I do believe that chastity has made a difference. There's obviously some downsides that I've failed to mention.

    It's been a positive experience so far and one that l'd like to continue. My wife still thinks it's a weird practice but she's a little more playful with it. She seems a lot more assertive and confident in herself.
     
  2. Iron78
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    Iron78 Active member

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    I (re-)started about two weeks ago, so far I am seeing some of the same trends. Hope it works out for you.
     
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  3. JuniorLeon
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    JuniorLeon Active member

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    Have her read "Locked in Love" by Key Barrett
     
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  4. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    good luck
     
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  5. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    I will check it out, hopefully it’s very vanilla. Things are going steady. I wouldn’t want to scare her away.
     
  6. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    It sounds as if you both are on a fairly typical trajectory. Often women see the cage as looking weird. And they worry that it might hurt you. Given time, the presence of the cage becomes normalized and she realizes you can safely wear it.

    At that juncture, is when you should get an idea of how much she is taking to it. If she starts teasing you without provocation, making little comments, and wanting intimacy with you caged, hang on to your shorts. You have succeeded. Later, you may regret it.
     
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  7. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    Yep! After 8 months, my wife / KH has come to realize that the cage I have must be quite comfortable. We were discussing it yesterday and she suggested it might be easy for me to wear one 24x7x365 since I'm so little! OUCH!!

    One of the reasons I started wearing it and asked her to be my KH was because I wanted to stop masturbating. I asked her to help me learn self-control. She thought it was weird and was willing to go along with it for a limited time, but wanted it off soon. After she reached the place she could look at it, she began to worry it must be hurting me. But her eyes have been really opened to the temptations men face with pornography and sexuality on public display that she's reached the point of saying "why would you stop wearing it?" and "who can resist that kind of temptation?" She loves my devotion to her!

    It took a long time to get to this point. It took consistent behavior on my part, wearing it 24x7, getting the right fit, and limiting orgasms to keep hormone levels up.
     
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  8. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Have you given a thought to where you would like this to go? Are you interested in a power exchange, FLR, etc.?
     
  9. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    I think we have found a balance of power that works for us. I think I would call it more mutual submission although she has complete control when it comes to our physical intimacy. Since our new dynamic has evolved, she has become more confident in telling me what she wants and I'm eager to follow through on meeting her desires whenever she expresses them.

    In the bedroom, she's in charge! She likes me to initiate physical intimacy and pick up on the clues to her receptivity. We've found that she has a responsive libido meaning that she doesn't always have a burning desire for sexual fulfillment but my advances may trigger that response from her. So every morning I make my advances and she lets me know if I should stop or move forward. When she wants control in bed and wants access to her "toys", she rolls me into a position where she can easily reach them. She lifts my arms over my head and expects me to keep them there without restraints. Then she teases me until I whimper, moan, spasm & twitch to her satisfaction. Often, that causes her to become dripping wet which then opens the door for me to pleasure her.

    She has come to appreciate the benefits of my chastity, her teasing, and my denied orgasms. However, she doesn't want to be bothered with the mechanics of chastity. Trying to keep track of my last orgasm or when she should release me is too much mental work for her. She now decides when my next orgasm will be via the roll of a dice. It can be anywhere from 1 week to 12 weeks with the odds being tilted to the lower end of that scale. That has become so effective that she even remembers now when my next orgasm is scheduled. She worries though that if she rolls a low number that my behavior will slip from "the drop". Unfortunately for me, we've only rolled one low number since starting this practice. Because it was sandwiched in between periods of 4-5 weeks of denial, we didn't notice anything unusual. And she made sure I put the cage on again before going to sleep which likely helps with that also.

    The beauty of our dynamic really puts her in the driver's seat. She fits the stereotypical woman who loves emotional connectedness which drives her physical libido. My responsibilities have evolved to doing things to please her, speaking truthful words of affirmation, and driving conversation that demonstrates my interest in her life and feelings. This triggers a strong desire for her to be physically intimate with me, i.e. holding hands, hugging, cuddling on the sofa, spooning in bed, etc. Her responsibility is to physically tease & deny me to keep my hormones & testosterone pumping to drive my submissive behavior.

    There are many areas of life she wants me to lead in but that doesn't mean that I'm the dominant one in those areas. Those have evolved and are now viewed by both of us as acts of service to her.

    She's definitely not interested in bondage, degradation, inflicting pain, etc. I once suggested introducing spanking into the relationship and she shut that down immediately. She told me, "I don't want to be your mother!" Message received!
     
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  10. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    I think she does still find it a little weird but she’s accepted my quirks. She does sometimes gently tap my crotch as she walks past or give me the side eye randomly throughout the day.

    I’m both nervous and excited as to the future prospects. We’re both in our early thirties and have young children living so playtime are few and far between.
     
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  11. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    You both sound as if you are doing great. Isn’t it the uncertainty that makes it exciting?
     
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  12. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    yeah pretty much. I’m optimistic about our future prospects
     
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  13. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    This is inspirational.
     
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  14. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    Thanks for saying that!!!
     
  15. Kfb47
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    Kfb47 Active member

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    Yes, at the 5 year mark I’m still surprised when my princess takes the initiative to pander to my weaknesses, which is her control over me…still amazed at my energy bursts to please her.
     
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  16. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations!
     
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