I’ve bee practicing mental (honor) chasity with my wife for the past 3 months. While I’d happily wear a cage for her, she seems to prefer easy access to her property. I know many of you use a cage for chastity, but how many are in mental (or honor) chastity? While wearing a cage is an obvious symbol of chastity, are there other symbols people use in this lifestyle? I’d like her to know I’m still committed to that fact without constantly talking about it. I’ve heard of people using daily gestures (a kiss on the back of the hand to indicate I am still chaste and I will continue to be chaste), a bracelet (perhaps one that she takes on/off), or even special clothing items. Please share special symbols you have seen or used to silently indicate your continued commitment to mental chastity.
I have been in mental chastity for 18 nearly 19 months now and I wear a lockable collar most days when my KH has the spoons to lock it on me, its impractical to sleep in due to it having a bell on it (my KH likes to hear me while doing my chores and things so I cant sneak up on them). As with your partner my KH likes to have access to their property at all times though sometimes they do lock me up if they fancy it. I am going to be locked for all of Locktober which will be my first full month locked in years.
I've got a small brass padlock locked to my car and house keys. Everytime I take em out I get a big grin on my face. It's pretty sweet!
I'm in mental chastity; but no symbols are used. I have never thought of using a symbol. Not sure what my Wife would think of this. She would probably say there is no need for symbols. I might ask her; but she might laugh at me. I'd also happily wear a cage; but my Wife won't allow it. She thinks there is no need and that a cage is too kinky
Maybe consider gifting your wife a padlocked heart necklace or bracelet with a little note saying I love your complete ownership over me. Give her power before suggesting ideas where she exercises power. Showing vulnerability in trying to monitor chastity can be a big deal, and if she's not sure that it's anything more than a game she may not want to show that vulnerability in trying to lead a new direction, particularly if you're the one pushing for the kink aspect to be noticeable with caging and collaring etc.
Thank you for the thoughtful advice. By desiring an outward manifestation of my commitment for myself, I may be putting myself over her feelings and desires. I understand that, to make this work for the two of us, I should be better externally focused on her instead internally on me. I’m the one asking for this so I’m the one who needs to be patient. I suspect that if I am patient enough, she will eventually allow both of us to be vulnerable in accepting my commitment to remain chaste for her. By giving her something simple as you suggested, I demonstrate my commitment rather than only telling her. Such a demonstration might be a better way to genuinely gain her trust in this. After all, why should she trust what I say and allow herself to go down this new pathway if I haven’t been respecting her by remaining chaste in the past.
I have read a few of your posts and they seem very similar to the path my wife and I went through before she accepted the cage. I really think she just did not get it. In my case I always was trying to get her to have sex, she knew I jerked off but not nearly as much as I really did. Then all of the sudden I wanted something totally different, why?I think your answer to a symbol has to be something your wife will like without feeling creepy or strange. My wife loves to cuddle without feeling pressure to have sex. We had many discussions on why I wanted this and the reasons always focused on being a better husband to her. She did not get it for a long time. I did go for multiple days without jerking and she then realized when I finally broke down. There were also many times we were cuddling and I got an erection and she felt pressured to have sex even though I never asked. After trying this for several months I told her how hard I have been trying not to jerk but walking around erect or just becoming erect in bed was really difficult for me to control no matter how hard I tried. I asked her if we can try a cage. I let her know she can take it off whenever she wanted and I will always be ready for her. She reluctantly tried and very slowly began to like it. We had a lot of discussions and I let her know that I was very happy and she gained some confidence in managing when it came off. We actually now have more and better sex than we have had in years and then I am locked again until she is ready. Not sure if that reflects where you are at in your journey but hopefully you can find something that will help from my similar experience.
I wear my chain collar witch is padlocked, and has my engraved pet tag on it, and I also have several chastity/bdsm sub t shirts I wear when out with my madam.
What a great idea. I too am in a no-cage chastity commitment. We had never discussed a symbol of that commitment, or more precisely, my ongoing honoring of it. Over the time that we’ve been engaged in a chastity-for-me relationship, I’ve not always been able to avoid failure. When that has happened, I’ve always immediately told her and then asked (begged) her for a new chance. I showed this thread to Ms for her thoughts on it. She likes it, thinking it offers a positive reinforcement because it is a very real representation of what we are trying to maintain as opposed to just an abstract idea. What we’ve come up with is a red ribbon with a small bell tied to it. The ribbon hangs on the inside doorknob of our front door. Every time the bell rings, I am reminded of my commitment to her and she is reminded that I am honoring that commitment. Adding to the intrigue is that, if a visitor asks what the bell is for, she has the freedom to tell what it is a symbol of it she chooses. She will probably do that with a few select friends. Meanwhile, if I fail, I am to remove the ribbon and place it on her dresser…and wait for how she chooses to respond to my failure.
Amazing idea! That is sweet and creative. I can only imagine how knowing that you will need to remove the ribbon/bell will weigh on your mind in moments of weakness (and hopefully prevent failure.) Thank you so much for sharing and glad this thread inspired a fruitful discussion.
I will draw with either a pen or fine tip permanent marker on my skin a hour glass that has two keys drawn in a saint adrews cross fashion over it. On the bottom of the hour glass I have the date of my release and on the top a crown with k. Lastly, at either side of the hourglass I have Three drops. The whole thing would be read as fallowed: the hour to be locked has come. Only the king (the key holder) shall take the lock of at this date at which point I shall cum out my drops.
I practice a combination of both a cage and mental (honor) depending on the situation or the day’s activities.
You're welcome. And thank you for inspiring the discussion. Your mention of how the potential removal of the bell would weigh on the mind is a good observation. That's what my Ms was thinking when she thought it would be a positive reinforcement. It's only been one day so far using the symbol, but each time I see that ribbon or hear the bell ring I am reminded of my desire to serve Herself instead of myself. Also, we discussed symbols a bit more last night. My chastity (we actually refer to it as our chastity) takes one of five forms, which is of her choosing for each day. The five days are No Sex, No Touch, No Stroke, No Squirt and No Restrictions (That last one happens very rarely). So we are thinking of a symbol for each type of day. I'll post on your thread here when we decide what the symbols might be. Yesterday was a No Touch day. It's been a while since I've had release, so I awoke in the middle of the night tossing and turning after I'd had an erotic dream. She woke up and asked me to stop moving around so much. It was real tough trying to remain still, all the while oozing with need, and it must have been an hour before I finally went to sleep again. This AM, she asked me what was going on last night and I told her. She said she'd noticed a very musky smell in the bed covers when I was tossing and turning and that it was very pleasing to her. A few minutes ago she used her five-position spinner to decide what kind of day this will be. I came up a 2. That means today is a No Touch day again. Gonna be a tough one...
Something that just occurred to me tonight while going down the Etsy rabbit hole are the purity / chastity rings that have come into vogue lately. Whatever you think of the original Christian idea, one that says "Worth the wait" or "WtW" could be an interesting covert symbol -- especially on someone who is married or partnered.