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Switched to secure device... regretting it.

Discussion in 'Chastity journals and blogs' started by Lockeed, Sep 6, 2017.

  1. Lockeed
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    Lockeed New Member

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    Will give some backstory first. Wife and I have been together about 3 years. Always loved bondage and got her into chastity play a year ago.

    Since then, we've been using a CB-6000 device. It started off just as 24-48 hour sessions because she was afraid it would be too much for me. Over time, I convinced her she needed to push things, even if I told her differently at the time. That ended up with a lot of 5-7 day sessions, which were pushing it for me, but I did enjoy.

    It really turned me on to see her be cruel, but I also didn't think I could actually stand weeks at a time. Because of this, I experimented and realized I could escape the CB with enough lube, then sneak it back on. With this fail-safe, I started encouraging her to go 2, 3, 4 weeks between releases. I'd sneak out every week or so and loved the rush it gave me, knowing she thought she was actually keeping me denied for that long.

    Well, I decided that the knowledge that it wasn't truly helpless was getting a bit old. I decided to get pierced and order a custom device, so I could go back to experiencing the "true" chastity feel from before I realized escape was possible.

    This has been a huge mistake. Since she thinks I've been going 2-4 weeks for most of the last year, she didn't ease me into this at all. Right now is going on 3 weeks... longer than I've ever actually been locked before by 3-fold.

    Last night was so bad, I spent an hour begging on the living room floor for her to be kind and make an exception. Having listened to me explain so many times in the past that I wanted NO ability to safeword out, she wouldn't budge.

    I loved the play aspect of feeling semi-helpless and knowing she was getting off on the perceived control. I thought I'd enjoy this, but it's waaay too much. I'm torn if I tell her what I'd been doing with the plastic device before and hope she's merciful now knowing that, or if I just keep begging that we make the releases more frequent. Either way, I seriously am regretting the piercing...
     
  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Well-Known Member

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  3. lockedUp24byKH
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    lockedUp24byKH Yes Dear...Right away.

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    Its too late now you should have been truthful at the start.
     
  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Oh that sounds brilliant.
    Absolutely well done her!
    By the sound of it another week or two and she will have broken you.
    Best thing for you to do is to try and adapt.

    "Be careful what you wish for " lol


    Oh and yes I agree, serves you right for fibbing
     
  5. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    It gets better after three weeks, something to do with hormone levels.

    What should do about this mess, however, is a relationship question.

    Though honesty is usually the best policy within any relationship, in this situation you risk making her feel very stupid indeed. She's spent months thinking she had control over your orgasm when she didn't. In that situation, the best result of a confession would be crueller kink. The most likely would be that the kink goes away.

    If at all possible, I think you should just try to get used to this. You made this mess, after all. Better you should suffer than she feel hurt and used.

    However, if you can't function at work and so on because you are so horny, then you should have a serious conversation with her along the lines of the new piercing intensifies your horniness (this is almost true) and you need to work back into longer stretches.
     
  6. hsm
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    hsm Member

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    I agree completely with Giles. My other thought is to negotiate a limit on the amount of begging tolerated and what happens when too much happens.
     
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  7. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active Member

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    when the device does come off, cut it into pieces and destroy it. If you want to continue to play, keep a key and work on your will power.
     
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  8. ballbust
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    ballbust bbust

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    I feel your pain, but can't help being amused by it. What's happened since you last posted? Did you tell her?
     
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  9. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    I think chastity is only ever real or fun when you can't get out, right? What fun is it playing a charade?
     
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  10. Submissive_Michelle
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    Submissive_Michelle Good Sissies wear Skirts and high heels

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    Chastity when you can escape is just the males fantasy. Once they are really locked into their device it becomes oh so very real and not just a kink.
    Mitch cannot escape either which allows me to do anything I like within reason to her.

    Sara
     
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  11. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Sara:
    You have touched a point that is very often misunderstood here,chastity is for males a just a fantasy, reality is another story. I feel that for females most important is to stop the bad habit of wanking of their partners, not just for kicks, in name of more respect to the relationship - just my thoughts about - maybe worthless.
     
  12. Submissive_Michelle
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    Submissive_Michelle Good Sissies wear Skirts and high heels

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    Exactly which is why I keep my husband in a cage for 1 to stop him masturbating and 2 to keep him under control and to also appeal to his fetish but it has to be real in the sense he must not be able to defeat his device and must remain in chastity. So we both win. He gets his fantasy and I stop him masturbating to porn.
    The end result he only gets sex when I say so and he is very happy to be kept horny all the time which he says is better than a few minutes of pleasure.
    The cage must not be able to be defeated :)
    We have achieved this but it has taken a lot of time and effort to find the right fit so that he can wear a cage every day without damage.
    As I say its possible for him to extract but no way can he get his penis back in so we have the security I demand.
    If he is ever caught out of his cage he pays a heavy price financially as part of his chastity he has deposited a significant forfeit of over $500 if he breaks the rules.
    So a $500 wank is ok by me.

    Sara
     
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  13. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Sara: Fantastic, most expensive wank in the world
     
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  14. Submissive_Michelle
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    Submissive_Michelle Good Sissies wear Skirts and high heels

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    Let me be clear I keep him in high heels and skirts as this is also his little fetish and turns him on. However since he is wearing a cage it just adds to his sexual frustration :)
    So I say sorry bitch no relief for your frustration. You wanted to be dressed as a woman and since women don't have a penis neither will you ;-)

    Sara
     
  15. shycagirl
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    shycagirl New Member

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    It it only a fantasy if a man thinks they can escape and avoid detection. Once that hope is taken away, then chastity is real. Then male behavior starts to change. My experience is that men will do most anything once the reality of true chastity dawns on them.
     
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  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I have never regretted getting the pa, or her having both keys, and I have never cheated even when I could pull out...but

    It's a whole different animal when you can't pull out nonetheless. I used to pull out the back during showers, give it a good wash(maybe enjoy being hard for a minute) and stuff it back in. Piercing means no more erections...ever. Not for a second, not just for a little bit, it just doesn't get hard unless it's off and that can't happen without her doing it. That takes awhile to get used to.

    Now around the one week mark I'm pretty much ready to tear this thing off, craving just an erection. Plus that long without any erection or contact makes for a hair trigger when it finally does get removed. If I was unlocked I co probably get myself off in under 20seconds guaranteed, and if she's doing it, would be going off in under a minute no matter what she was doing.

    Adjustments are needed if going from pulling out whenever you choose to inescapable.
     
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  17. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you need to avoid all things erotic and get used to being locked up.
     
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  18. Mastrovenice
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    Mastrovenice Member

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    BDSM play needs trust and honesty between partners. I believe there is no substitute for this and as you have seen your dishonesty has caused a 'situation'. Still, I would hope that your wife is a responsible Domme and will be interested in working through this to establish a routine based on your actual limitations, not perceived ones. Be brave and come clean. It should only make your relationship stronger.
     
  19. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    Have to say that you can't have it both ways. Honesty is basic in BDSM. Trust is so important for both people. I started the chastity thing not really trying to fulfill a
    fantasy. She was insecure after I got into shape.and lost 60 lbs. Over 5 years ago on her birthday I gave her the keys and told her that there would never be anyone
    else. I never thought that much about it. As time has gone by I don't know how things changed so much, but I am not who I was back then. We are more intimate now
    than ever before in a whole different way.

    I gave her the keys not knowing what to expect and have gone from 8 days to 36 and counting right now. I don't moan,bitch,beg or complain, I just take care of her and
    what she wants. I have been married 37 years and she has taught me things that I would have never learned about me and her if I never started this. I hope you may be
    able to learn that fantasy is for a short time, chastity a way of life that someone else is first. Think about it.
     
  20. Lockeed
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    Lockeed New Member

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    Haven’t been back here for a while. Have an update on how things have been.

    I told her what I did and begged her not to be upset. She gave me one chance to scrap the chastity thing entirely, or to be okay with playing by her current rules for duration. I reluctantly decided to keep playing.

    I had one orgasm the night I made that decision. That was almost two months ago. Was bound tightly and was given a handjob followed by excruciating post orgasm torture. Was told that may no become the normal thing.

    Hoping for a release soon... wishing I had just stayed in the belt I could escape from.
     
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  21. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    Oh hunni I feel for you, you won't get an sympathy from the women on this site but I really feel your predicament. Women don't want us to want, they think it's dirty and disrespectful to them....it's a genuine release for us....I know and my kg also knows and I believe she wants to stop this habit all together.
    Now you have a real predicament, sometimes (and the women will hate me for this)honesty is NOT the beat policy and ignorance is bliss. Do not tell her, if you do she will feel betrayed and feel that you have made her look foolish. Take this period of Chastity as punishment for all your lies....you will feel less guilty as time goes on. After this session ensure you set different ground rules for the next ones!
    Hopefully she hasn't read this or you will suffer......good luck
     
  22. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    Doesn't sound like your having much fun. If its that bad you should probably sit down with her and have a talk about it. It should be fun for both of you. I re-read your first post and couldnt tell if you told her you cheated in the beginning. Maybe its a good idea to tell her what happened and explain how hard this has been on you. I'm sure she'll be upset but honesty is the best policy and you can then work out how to move forward in a way that benefits you both.
     
  23. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Well-Known Member

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    I kind of get what Lockeed is saying about the “reluctant” part. Our situations are different, but I’ve had situations where I continued chastity for my wife’s sake when I really felt like quitting. Chastity is really my wife’s thing, but I can’t imagine going back to the way things were before chastity. That’s what keeps me going even when I want to quit. The thought of how awful our sex life was. The years before chastity were miserable and my wife is a whole different person in the bedroom now. I wouldn’t want to go back to the “old wife” even if it meant getting to have orgasms and erections.
     
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