Suddenly reminded the meaning of my collar

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by SubSnuggler, Jan 19, 2022.

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  1. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    This morning I woke up late with a start. Rolling out of bed, still a bit groggy, I felt a clunk and my ankle felt weird. I looked down with a bit of a start.

    Years ago my Wife put a titanium anklet on my right leg, and the small pin that had held the anklet closed had worked out. The anklet, while still around my leg, was hanging open on one side!

    I felt the bottom of the anklet and with a great sigh of relief, felt the pin still barely in it's hole. I closed the anklet tight, and by hand, slowly screwed the pin in. Then I went out to the workshop and using a little Allen tool, pulled the pin applied some loc-tite, and put it back in.

    I'm a sentimental guy, and that moment of being 'uncollared' shocked me, and not in a good way. It felt like my armor was off, and I was lost. Being owned by my Dominant Wife is such a powerful emotional totem for me. If the anklet had come totally off my leg, or even worse if the pin had been lost, I may have burst into tears.

    It's a dumb story I guess, but I was kind of startled at what a powerful attachment we can have to physical symbols of our submission. If there was any doubt about whether I deep down innately resisted submission to my Wife, it was completely shattered today. My anklet is like a wedding ring in that it reminds me of my relationship in a powerful way.
     
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  2. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    Happy you didn't loose your Ownership anklet.
     
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  3. phenious
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    phenious Member

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    Very erotic and so loving that she wanted to go beyond traditional wedding bands to show her ownership of you. I like the idea of the anklet. While the collars look great on women, I feel they look somewhat odd on men. Perhaps odd is not the right term...not sure what I am term I am looking for, but I think they do allude to the fetish world a bit. I think the anklets look more appropriate on men and are more subtle.

    Best regards,
    Phen
     
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  4. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    I told her today that I never, ever want to return to a traditional way of life and that I would follow her anywhere she wished to lead. I was on my knees looking up at her. She had such a deep smile as she looked down at me with tears at the corners of her eyes. She's been really living out her fantasy domme life lately. She grinned, leaned down, and said, "I'm overjoyed and I love our life together. Just for that I think I will spank you tonight." (with a wicked grin)
     
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  5. phenious
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    phenious Member

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    I guess I am romantic fetishist. It warms my heart when I hear how people have woven their kink into their tapestry of love!

    Enjoy your spanking,
    Phen
     
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  6. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Over the holidays, I was unlocked for a period of time. I was falling apart by the time I was relocked. I too missed that symbol of submission. The intensity surprised me. I know now I could never return to our previous life.

    You did a beautiful job describing how powerful these symbols are.

    Thank you.
     
  7. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    This is the kind of story we were referring to in our post about love and chastity. In spite of being extreme FLR it just says mutual love in so many ways. That is what makes this site different from all the others.
     
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  8. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Wonderful story. An anklet seems like a nice way to show ownership without being completely obvious. Plus i think they are just a sexy, cute accessory.
     
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  9. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    I so love that you said that. My Wife and I are very deeply in love and have been for over 20 years. We value and enjoy every second together and are truly best friends. We describe our relationship as more 'gentlefemdom' because it's not all strictness and humiliation there is a lot of fun and pleasure that we share together. :love:
     
  10. rubbermade
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    rubbermade Member

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    That's absolutely not a dumb story, SubSnuggler, it's delightful and shows the intensity of your love for your Lady and She for you. An anklet is a subtle and clever way to demonstrate this as a D/s relationship.
    These symbols are incredibly powerful emotionally. I too feel a bit lost when my cage is off.
     
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  11. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    Loved the story, there is such a happy feeling these things we are given by our mates bring to our hearts!
     
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  12. Unremarkable Jamie
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    Unremarkable Jamie Active member

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    Maybe 8 years ago when we thought we might do an FLR, my wife bought me a lovely heavy gauge wire collar, fastened by a tiny allen-wrench type screw through a tiny hole. Kink has always been my thing, and not hers, and we came to an agreement/realization that having this just be another chore for her wasn't fulfilling for either of us. Plus a lot else changed for me personally around gender - a story for another time.

    Some time later, she acknowledged that she'd lost her copy of the key / allen wrench - probably replaceable with enough research. I still had the "spare" copy. That took the wind out of my sails, and I soon realized that the symbolism of the collar was, for me, a commitment to the on-going nature of kink in my life, even in the times when it wasn't convenient or uppermost in my mind. It became part of my identity.

    Fast forward 3 or 4 years , I had to go in for a medical procedure and I knew the collar might have to come off. I packed the reserve key and was happy to have it when if did have to come off. And was similarly disappointed when that hadn't occurred to my wife.

    Fast forward to 6 months ago, same procedure, only now the spare allen wrench doesn't work, the collar doesn't open. Much time with some bolt cutters and the result is in the attached picture.

    Which finally brings me to the part that's relevant to this thread: I haven't felt the same since - kind of bereft; it had become so much a part of my identity and my association with kink and with who I am, that I'm not entirely sure who I am without it. Not to mention the occasional compliment (phenious' comment not withstanding). I'm trying to figure out how to get another one in a context that would be meaningful to me, but I haven't figured that out yet. Though I'm happy that I've got a better chastity solution than I've ever had before - that is in a post elsewhere.

    So thanks for this post, and totally feeling your feels here, and it sounds like what you and your wife have is beautiful and fulfilling.
     

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  13. CabanaJack
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    CabanaJack Long term member

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    Hah. I just got a collar like that. I can't imagine trying to cut it off.
     
  14. Unremarkable Jamie
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    Unremarkable Jamie Active member

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    Where??? I got my from Wyredslave, long defunct, and I haven't seen anything like it around. (Here's a page that still exists about who they were: http://spiritualkink.blogspot.com/2011/10/vendor-wyredslavecom.html )

    I'd love to see yours.

    Getting it off was a chore. I rented (rather dull) heavy duty bolt-cutters from our local tool place, and happen to have a heavy leather posture collar that fit under the wire collar to protect my neck. Then my wife just went at it with the bolt cutters and some wire cutters near the end. Probably took us 1/2 hour or more. I was not psychologically in a good place after that.

    Good luck with yours. If it's like mine, I'd suggest opening and closing it about every 1-6 months to keep the parts moving. There was a lot of dead skin in amongst the strands, so I'm guessing that's what fouled the unlocking mechanism.

    Unremarkable Jamie
     
  15. madams-sissysub
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    Not dumb at all! That’s a wonderful story, I have mentioned many times and again today in another post, I have a collar, a simple chain and padlock that my madam bought for me from a punk shop over 20 years ago, when we first started our bdsm life and I submitted as her property. I would be devastated to lose it or have it break.
     
  16. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    Thanks for sharing, @SubSnuggler! I've recently started wearing a metal bracelet that sounds similar to your anklet, and for similar reasons. Both me and my Keyholder Wife like seeing it on my wrist for the love and submission that it connotes.

    So far, it hasn't loosened at all, but i'll need to try the loc-tite trick when the time comes.

    asa
     
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  17. CabanaJack
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    CabanaJack Long term member

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    I got mine from seller clawfootproductions on etsy. Here's a link to the one without a ring accessory. They have another listing for one that includes the ring. Clawfootproductions has a ton of metal day collars on etsy, some that are even shaped to better rest on the collarbone.

    The 6mm diameter cable is a bold statement to make...
     
  18. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    I am so sorry you had to destroy such a meaningful piece. I become very disoriented over time when not locked, and missing her attention.
     
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  19. Lovelocked
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    Lovelocked Long term member

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    There is a wire collar like the one in your picture available at https://www.eternitycollars.com/products/eternity-cable-collar. The price seems a bit excessive for a bit of stainless wire rope and a small fitting.
     
  20. Zevon
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    Zevon Long term member

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    You are a very good person in a wonderful, very special relationship. I am very happy you did not lose the pin. Totems are important. My dad was a navigator (which were pilots too) in the RAF during WWII. Flew solo night missions in a Sterling 4 engine bomber. One mission they caught flak that bounced the plane around. The rubber eraser he used during his in flight navigation calculations was lost somewhere. When they returned, he told the maintenance he crew, and they spent hours together looking for his lucky eraser. They found it. So I totally understand your reaction, and also how the symbol of being owned by such a treasure as your wife means so much to you.
     
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