Struggling a bit, new to this

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by AnonJohn97, Jul 18, 2022.

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  1. AnonJohn97
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    AnonJohn97 Member

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    So I never really knew this fetish was a thing, until my girlfriend told me it'd been a secret fantasy of hers for a long time and that it was something she needed in a relationship.

    We've been dating about four months now and she asked to put me in a chastity cage almost two months ago, and after some conversation I agreed. I've never liked the idea, but she has let me do several kinky things with her and is otherwise just an amazing girlfriend so when she explained that this was a big fetish for her as well as ensuring I wouldn't cheat, and that she's made all of her three boyfriends do it I agreed to try it out because she's worth it, and so far we've stuck with it.

    It's a metal cage, quite comfortable when I'm soft but extremely uncomfortable when I'm trying to get hard. I have an 8 inch penis and the cage is only 4 inches long. The rules I agreed to are simply to wear the cage permanently long term, only she can remove it for sex with her and I'm not allowed to ask her to remove it ever, unless I want out permanently and to possibly end things.

    It was a bit extreme but like I said I haven't been with her too long and so far it's been worth it as she is an amazing girl and our relationship is normal otherwise. I do feel safe in my option to leave the relationship if I wanted to end things, but I don't. For the first month we still had sex pretty regularly, it was still a massive adjustment though since I'm hypersexual and masturbate normally like 5 times a day. However this last month she's been saying she doesn't feel like piv more and more, we've only had piv sex 3 times this month otherwise it's always me fingering her and going down on her which I enjoy but hurts because I get so swollen.

    The lack of access to masturbation is possibly the biggest thing I've ever had to get used to, and I still haven't, when I get the urge I'm uncomfortable for hours. I was hoping I could talk to other people here about this and maybe some strategies for coping. Like I said otherwise the relationship and sex is normal, it's just the chastity that is new to me. I'm also honestly disappointed that piv sex has been taken off the table more and more as she made it sound like that wouldn't happen in the beginning. She's still quite sexual though, is it normal for your KH to still want you to have sex with her a lot just not piv?
     
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  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    There is no right/wrong to incorporate male chastity into a relationship. I am happy to say you are giving her what she wants & were very open-minded... but you really need to express a need for a change if you feel a change is needed. Male chastity doesn't need to be a permanent thing for it to work.

    Personally, my wife does not keep me locked all the time. I am only locked when she is not around... I only orgasm when she allows it, but she gives me something attention every night. If you are not liking the direction there is always room for negotiation. Her rule was...

    "The rules I agreed to are simply to wear the cage permanently long term, only she can remove it for sex with her and I'm not allowed to ask her to remove it ever, unless I want out permanently and to possibly end things."

    I think that is a little unreasonable to start with for someone who didn't even know what it was...

    Just my take on it, feel free to message me if you wanna talk.
     
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  3. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    I replied you in your another post. Ok you two have only been together recently and she is dropping bomshell that she likes your big penis being locked up instead of trying it out fully . That is her fetish … so far so good.. but is it your kink too..? You are young and having a big penis is a status symbol.. are you sure you are not missing the best of your youth..? You can run while you still can.. before she wears a leather bustier, seals up your cage permanently and start beating your ass and padding your already swollen balls while seeking every oppurtunity to have sex with a hooked up bbc… and you only get to watch.
     
  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    You need to think carefully if this is what you want. If it isn't, get out
     
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  5. AnonJohn97
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    Thanks, yeah I dont think it should have to be permanent for everyone either but this really is how she wants it (with it coming off for sex) and I agreed to it after thinking it over a lot, I'm sure. I'm not questioning whether im going to continue, only having a difficult time
    I genuinely appreciate the concern. First off, she really isn't a fetishist beside this, in bed she's actually the submissive one for the most part, it's just that she really wants to be a keyholder. She told me she has a fixation on it and also has a paranoid about cheating and me wearing this totally soothes that fear for her so I'm okay with it.

    I definitely agreed to this with open eyes, I'm just really struggling with the lack of masturbation as I used to masturbate a lot. I still get release during sex, it's just that this month piv sex has been rare and like I said in the OP I'm not allowed to ask her to open it ever, it's only her decision allowed.

    Doing it makes her insanely happy, so it is what I want.
     
  6. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Just wanted to say… you say this has been going on for two months… but in your profile it says you were locked July 6th. Another thing I want to suggest was her joining the site to talk to some other people in a similar situation.

    You are pretty young and I would imagine she is too… and you are the 4th person she has done this with. Just saying she might be burning some of you young men out a little too fast here…
     
  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Welcome to our community. I hope you find it helpful.
     
  8. John
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    John Member

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    Honestly I think you are a lucky guy. Maybe she experienced cheating in the past and don’t want a partner that cheats. So by locking you up she maybe feel you are more committed since most guys get more attentive when locked up and will do more to please. I know what you mean with the masturbation try to channel the energy towards something positive like pleasing your girlfriend more. Don’t find it strange with the piv probably a natural progression. I wouldn’t ever question to leave her since a relationship is more than sex and masturbation and getting own please met. Maybe spend some of that sexual energy to do something nice for her to feel special.
     
  9. AnonJohn97
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    AnonJohn97 Member

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    July 6th was the last time I had sex. And I appreciate your concerns, I'll keep it in mind
    Thann you!
    I've definitely become a lot more docile since lockup, it's weird. I instinctively let her have her way and dont challenge her on much. I definitely am an insanely lucky guy as she's the best girlfriend I've had, this has been the only struggle. Do you have any ideas of things I could do for her while horny to take my mind off of it? And you think the big decrease in piv sex is normal and isn't a bad sign of anything?
     
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  10. John
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    John Member

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    I assume she has a different libido and like to feel a little in control. Think you score the right one. You could pamper her in any way do something for her she would feel nice. Even do some chores for her wouldn’t be bad like washing the the dishes or something. Make her feel you really appreciate her. The piv is possibly also a control thing the less frequent you orgasm the more attentive you become. She might be more experienced after 3 relationships. Even if it feels frustrating try to please her rather than making any sexual activity about cuming for your own part. Sometimes it can be arousing to let her cum without cuming yourself. I know it would feel frustrating just require to get used to it.
     
  11. AnonJohn97
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    AnonJohn97 Member

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    I've gotten really good at making her cum since being locked up. We still have sex pretty much every night, just not with my penis. I go down on her and finger her and she cums hard from that, I've gotten even better since not being able to use my penis. It is rather hot at times to think about how many orgasms she has and how few I get to have
     
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  12. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
  13. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Don't make the common mistake of thinking that having your penis locked up and fewer orgasms means less sex.
    My wife and I are having at least as much if not much more sex now that she keeps me locked up most of the time than we ever did before. It's also, weirdly, much more satisfying and continually arousing not having orgasms all the time. It's difficult to get your head around until you've actually done and experienced it... by which time you get to love it and don't want to go back!
     
  14. AnonJohn97
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    We have sex almost every night now, but piv is very rare. I last got to use my penis on the 6th, and it was a while before that too. But every night she initiates sex, I ask if she wants piv and she'll usually say not tonight but maybe tomorrow, and either motion for me to go down on her or ask me to bring her to orgasm with my hands. Funnily enough as I've all but stopped being allowed to orgasm, she's getting a lot more, lol... it's not exactly fair but it makes her really happy
     
  15. John
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    John Member

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    She is simply teasing you to get you excited and enjoy it even more when you are allowed to cum. Enjoy the rush :D
     
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  16. Drews
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    Drews Long term member

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    Welcome! The best advice I can give you is that communication on both parts is required. You need to discuss your needs as well as hers. I would also suggest since this is so new you might want to push yourself a little to try the new situation. You might find feelings you never knew you had. I never thought I would ever gain so much pleasure getting my wife to have an orgasm. Be sure your cage is properly fit. You should only feel pressure getting hard not pain. If this goes on you might want to invest in a custom cage. Again keep communication open and enjoy the experience and what sounds like a great woman.
     
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