Starting the Transformation

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by sissy belle, Dec 10, 2009.

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  1. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Don't have much time to write today but will put a little blurb down. I have started recently with the assistance of someone on here to transform myself into the chaste sissy slut I would like to be.

    This part of my life is very exciting as I don't know where it's going to take me. I don't know how much of my masculine side (which I do like) will survive and how much of a proper sissy will emerge.

    I begin today writing in what I hope will come to be a fairly lengthy and interesting journal, I wish I had something more interesting right now, but I must go. I hope to add some details and some thoughts tonight after work.
     
  2. Amber
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    Amber Senior Member

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    Hi Sissybelle

    Good luck on your new journey and cant wait to her more :)

    Amber
     
  3. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    I'm already interested. I love the beginning journeys of a sissy. I offer my support. Good luck.
     
  4. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    I am, too, looking forward to red about your journey and transformation. I am sure it soon will be you wearing the pretty pink dress being shown in your avatar ... properly locked as a sissy should be.

    Hugs and kisses

    maid katrin
     
  5. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    :cat:Sissy Belle,

    I think our Male side comes out after we orgasm, so chastity and teasings are very important tools to feminize us sissies.

    I imagine that keeping a journal could help focus a gurl and help her keep track of her femming. Good luck with you new Journal!

    cindy
     
  6. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    I think that this is somewhat of a good starting point. I feel sometimes that my masculinity interferes sometimes with my sissy desires. It's a very confusing time for me as I do enjoy my masculine side. I guess the best way to put it is that I am two faced in that I enjoy my masculinity at times and at times I enjoy being a sissy.

    I don't know yet which of these attitudes will prevail. In a way this is more of an experiment as well as a journey. I can take the time to learn more about myself and where I am going right now.
     
  7. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    Neither need prevail. I'm very happy expressing both sides of my personality and am more comfortable and happy because of it. I think I'm a true transgender in that I actually transgenders. You'll find your masculine side will sometimes interfere with your feminine side and vice versa. When you want to go back to being that guy, there will always be those smooth shaved legs, that lingering perfume scent, those discolor rings around your nails that the polish remover can't seem to remove. If you are resigned to wear panties 24/7, there will be times they will peak out and others WILL see them. pink, lacy, silky.....whatever Mistress asks for.
     
  8. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Wow it's been a bit of time since I last updated this journal. My schedule seems to have that affect sometimes. Since the last time I wrote here I have had a release, I was told that I may take a release last weekend if I wanted....originally I had planned on not taking a release and just to do a milking, but I got weak and ended up going to far. The worst part of that is knowing my self-power is so weak.....it does make me wish at times that I COULD lock myself up and send off the key.

    At the request of.....hrm not sure what title is appropriate here...I have been trying to introduce my wife slowly into a sissy maid life. I haven't been dressing and mostly it has been a maid function. At first I was to start doing things such as pull our her chair, open her door, hold her things, etc. And it worked very well, my wife got to the point of expecting these things done. Now we can't go anywhere for the most part without me doing it. A while back we went out and she stood outside the car after I got in, I had to get out, go around and open her door. So I think that mission was a success and it has made me better for it.

    The other half was to slowly pick up more chores around the house. This is killer to me, I don't really mind doing the chores it's just I'm always tired. I work 12 hour shifts on the ambulance, on my days off I work 12 hour shifts in some hospital, I get maybe one day off every week or every two weeks depending not to mention the time I spend studying while I'm not at work or at the hospital. I have started doing more than what I was doing before...but it has been a battle with myself to do them, I suspect this will be an easier task once I finish school next summer/fall and can have the time.

    I still have not worn any feminine clothing as I lost all of mine in an unfortunate accident (the closet where my feminine clothing was stored as well as some of our winter clothing had a pipe burst and the nasty water ruined everything). I have not replaced anything, mainly due to the holiday season, I have picked out a nice set of lacy panties and a couple matching bras but I still can't get them yet. I would also like to find a nice wig (I have short buzzed hair...military style for my job) to compliment my facial structure. Maybe once I can get a nice outfit together with some hair I can focus on this strange strange world of makeup. I have no idea where to start.

    I am happy I made this post at this moment. The biggest thing the release did to me was kill my drive. For two days after I wanted nothing to do with this, I knew that I did but again there was a part of me that just was happy to have had the release and be done with it. So I guess happy and proud that I could come back (stupid schedule) and keep working at this.
     
  9. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Today I went shopping for the holidays. Part of my goal was to get my wife a gift of some perfume as she really hasn't had any other than body sprays. I decided that I would take a trip to Sephora and let my eyes wander to other products while I was there.

    A little backstory of why this is significant to me. I find GREAT humiliation and embarressment into just walking into a panty section. I have only brought myself to the point of being able to stop and shop for panties/products a couple times. One example was I went to Victoria Secret to find something for my wife. As I was walking aruond the only thing I could think was that everyone was watching me. As I kept walking and finding things and thinking "oh wow that's cute I want that for me" I eventually got really embarressed and beelined out of the store without purchasing anything.

    So tonight I go in and fairly quickly I'm approached and we go through the process of finding a fragrance. I pretend to be a typical guy shopping for his wife. At last we finally found something, while walking to the counter I decided to be a little brave. I ask him about makeup for my 'wife' (ie me). I tell him we are about the same skin tone and she has slightly sensitive skin (which I do).

    He stops, so I stop, he leans in close and lowers his voice. "Hunny, I think you would look good in a......." I taper off that part because I don't remember what he said. My face was beet red, my ears were burning and buzzing, and I was obvious put in my place. I'm not even sure if what I quoted above is correct. He laughed to ease the tension a bit and handed me his card and asked me to come see him after the holidays when it was a bit less busy for advice.

    This was a huge step for me, something I hope will be the start of getting over this humiliation of just walking past the pantie aisle.
     
  10. Ms.Linda
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    Ms.Linda No longer a member

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    belle- I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for you. As for the incident in Sephora, I'm thinking it probably would have been a LOT more embarrassing if the sales person had been a woman. At least you now have a "connection" to someone who can help you get the best products for you. I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable the more you "shop". Keep up the good work.

    Ms.Linda
     
  11. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    May I suggest asking him to measure you for a bra. Having a properly sized bra is important...and the experience would be interesting. Please post!!!!!

    yeah, and the heart beat pitter patter slowly goes away.....unless the sales lady holds up a dainty pair of panties and proclaims very loudly, NOW, That is a PrettY PANTY for you, sire." Which happened to me once. I think she was disgusted with me and wanted to embarrass me. It worked.


    Another time I was in VS and wanted a slip. The sales lady asked what size. I said, "I don't know." She proceeded to hold up various sizes to my body to gauge a fit. Some girls kept looking over amused. It was a litte unnerving. But I did get the most delicious slip out of it, mostly because it fit and was exactly what I was looking for.
     
  12. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    I've spent the better part of today exploring various websites to start rebuilding my wardrobe and honestly this day can't end fast enough. I've picked out several pairs of panties, a couple bras, and maybe some other items. I'm really excited and can't wait to get some of these items. My plan right now is to try and replace my mens underclothing, enough so that I have enough to match my current mens wardrobe. Then I want to lock my mens stuff up and mail my key off for someone to hold until they feel I can have the key back or never send it back. That makes my heart race just thinking about it.

    One thing I WOULD like to find that I'm not having any luck with is a decent wig. For one my hair cannot be grown long, I must keep it short (think military boot camp buzzed) for my job. I could grow it as long as my ears but no further, so I'd rather just keep it buzzed/shaved and wear a wig on top of that for now. I just don't know where to start, what's a good color for me, a good style. Can I buy just a regular style and do different things with it or do I need to buy a style for every time I want to change it. I don't know who are reputable, what kind to get, storage, etc etc etc. I'm lost :> But I will keep searching and maybe I can find some help here as well :)

    One other thing I've found that I want to get is the nJoy Pure wand, I've heard GREAT things about it for milking and I'm getting tired of working with my heart wand thing and a makeshift handle. I did order an aneros but I got screwed by Extreme Restraints (AGAIN) so I will no longer be ordering from them. Look forward to placing my orders tonight/tomorrow and getting all these goodies in! My next goal is a plug that I can wear long term. I've already posted about my issue with plugs and their bases. Was looking at one of these WMCBP, but they're so expensive for the larger sizes :(

    I want to keep pace with the tasks that are assigned to me, but I just get excited and am ready to move forward with the next step. I know transformation takes time but I just want to dive right in!:character0100:
     
  13. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    I started a thread about a year ago that included the experience of buying a wig and other shopping experiences. Those firsts are SOOO exciting to us all. It is here. I hope you get something from it. I've come so far since then, but I still feel apprehensive sometimes when I cross that barrier into the forbidden zone of the women's department! *eek*

    You seem to prefer buying online and I understand that. I've bought a few things online, but most of my purchases are done in person. I get such a rush from the humiliation and embarrassment of possible exposure. It is really exciting and I think it's important to have those experiences that, in the end, are really harmless, but play with your psyche.

    If I'm feeling apprehensive about entering a women's store, I've always gone in with the mindset that I am buying this for my wife who is "about my size and build" (True). If a sales clerk comes over to assist, sometimes I shoe them away with "I don't need any help right now, but I'll holler when I need you". [I really love buying from a woman over a man - so exciting - does she know? does she suspect? It can be a little secret that she and I share together - even if nothing is said.]

    One problem with buying online is size! Clothing sizes differ from label to label so if you find you're a size 10 in a dress then it doesn't mean all dresses in size 10 will fit you. While I've never tried something on in a store (other than some high heels - yikes!) I have surreptitiously held an outfit up to my body. I've also asked a sales woman who was offering to help what size she is because she looks about the same height and build as my wife (me). [I had already sized her up and she did look to be about my size, weight (well sort of) and approximate height]. That works well too.

    Dare yourself into going into a women's store. Go into the women's section of a big department store. But do it far enough from home that no one you see will recognize you. Then you really have nothing to fear. If you convince/trick yourself into thinking that you are buying for your wife then you can enjoy the assistance of a sales person.

    Good luck sweetie!

    -Lauren
     
  14. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    I like the ideas for going far away. The only problem with that is I'd have to drive an hour or so to get to the point where I might not be recognized. I know people in all areas of the city :)

    I know I need to work on that apprehension and the thought of going in a store, finding things in my size and trying them on is both scary and exciting. I think it's one thing for me to go buy a 'sexy' bra. But buying a utility bra or other 'everyday' bra for me seems like an "OMG they know, why would a guy buy his wife an everyday bra."

    I would like to maybe sometime find someone or get the chance to be forced into a situation like that. The embarressment is again, both scary and exciting :)

    I don't know if I could go into a store to find a wig style to fit me :> I want one but that's the worst part about buying online. I have no clue what style would look good on me.
     
  15. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    Honey, you sound like you are having fun. I'll try to help as much as I can. I guess I identify more with being a Tgirl then a sissy. I go any place I want to, and don't worry or fret the consequences. Sometimes I do run into a situation that makes me worry (Angry guys that are upset I'm not a real girl), but otherwise, I don't care about looks or what these people think about me. I do get looks, but people just see that I don't care and I'm not backing down from buying what I want. So, mostly, what can they do?

    These wigs are of fine quality, they are mostly made brunettes. I really like them and have a few myself.

    http://www.primebeautyoutlet.com/

    If you are a brunette naturally, you want to go with a brunette wig. Go for something that is your natural hair color. This way the color will complement you by matching your eyebrows. Long wigs aren't necessarily better. A good wig will have some length to it, but anything much past the shoulders becomes hard to manage....think tangles, and tangles. As for styles, it's hard to style a wig...not impossible, but you have to realize that the wig is fibers and they aren't growing. So, any damage done to these fibers isn't going away. You must treat your wig nice, like real hair if you want it to shine and look realistic. So, I don't recommend styling them......but that brand has so many different styles that they should have what you are looking for.

    There are much more expensive wigs out there.....but these are of fine quality for the price. Have fun shopping.

    I just looked over their wigs.....check out the one called delicious. Less than $30....what a steal!

    Or this one for $52. http://www.primebeautyoutlet.com/New-born-free-Synthetic-lace-front/M/B002CFTV92.htm
     
  16. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Thank you for the links and information. I shouldn't worry but I do, all the time =/

    I am very excited though, I ordered everything I said I would, can't wait for it to get here.
     
  17. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    If you don't like those, I can offer other company/brands. I have several wigs. I just thought I'd send you first to a place that has nice wigs that aren't too expensive. Then, if you have other questions, I hope I can help you. You do sound like you are really enjoying yourself.....and that is what I ultimately love....people having a good time.
     
  18. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Today! My panties came in the mail...wow that was fast. I was in the living room watching Dexter when a knock came to the door. I was expecting a gift anyways from an online secret santa exchange so I thought nothing of it when my wife went to open the door. She came back giggling "Got a christmas present for me?"

    :confused0068:

    "Ummm yea, was supposed to be a suprise, sorry. Let me put htat away, not gonna get it on christmas now, gotta wait till your birthday."

    Eek, so I put the panties away until she left for work (about 15 minutes ago). I just tried them all on and they all fit PERFECTLY. So now I know the exact size I wear for this particular brand (sold by a boutique that I could visit to try and get over that hump).

    I have on right now the pink and white stripped pair. Now to get a few more and I can think about going 24/7. Tomorrow will be my first day going to work with panties on, we'll see how it works out. I'm very nervous and scared but excited all the same. Now to see if I can go through with locking up all my male underwear for a period of time to prevent me from cheating :>

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Ms.Linda
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    Ms.Linda No longer a member

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    belle- What LOVELY panties! I'm sure you will LOVE wearing them. It's very encouraging that you want to lock away all your male undergarments and go panties all the way. From what I understand it's a very different, erotic, and exciting feeling. As for the wig, I think Nadine has some wonderful advice for you. you are definitely moving forward!! Keep up the good work!
     
  20. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    Taks all of your male undies. Rub chocolate pudding all over them. Throw them in the dirty laundry when they dry. Now you have nothing but panties to wear......until the wash is done, atleast. I threw the icky guys unides out 17 years ago. It's been panties every day, since. When I first started out, It was a little nerve wrecking not being able to put on guys undies when I knew the activity was sure to expose me. You'd be suprised. Things can be revealing, without you knowing it....especially from behind. When you climb stairs, your pants pull tight, and that, as the girls call it, "dreaded panty line" comes into view. Guys don't have horizontal lumps in their pants. Guys get excited looking at horizontal stripes in the back of pants. Guys check out other guys asses when they climb stair. Are they gay? I don't think so. When you bend over, pants hike up, but panties do not. Bend over, you'll see. Problem is shirt hikes up as well. So, panties will be exposed at some point or another. You've been warned.
     
  21. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    Panties are a good start sissy belle. I agree with Ms. Linda and nadine, you should wear panties 24/7 from now on ... discard all your male underwear so you won't be tempted to wear them ever again. But you know there are more feminine things you'd start wearing full time ... tights, camisoles, stockings ... and yes, bras as well!
    Have fun, feminine underwear is so much nicer and feels much better than anything for males.

    Hugs, maid katrin
     
  22. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    Yes after discussion last night I am in need of some 'utility' panties to wear to work. Unfortunately I do not have those so I slept in my panties last night and went back to my mens boxer briefs. The funny thing is talking with other females at work, we were comparing what kind of underwear is the best to wear with our uniforms. The most common response from them was mens boxer briefs. The next most common was boyshorts.

    I can't completely throw away my mens clothing for the sake of my wife (for right now) but in the meantime there is the option of locking it up in something. I'm at work again for two days so once again will begin the great search of various places and plans and such :>
     
  23. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    I hope this is not going to become some kind of excuse for wearing men's briefs ... for a sissy like you it is not important what's comfortable but only what's suitable ... and men's briefs are definitely not!

    maid katrin
     
  24. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    No, I do not plan to use that as an excuse, just something I found interesting. I will probably get a few pairs of 'utility cotton boyshorts' to wear to work. No sense in destroying my pretty stuff on the job.

    A strange feeling since I started doing this though, every day I have continued to wear my mens stuff I feel wrong. Starting this up has been an almost freeing experience for me. I have never felt that I would go all the way (part of me does wish to do that) I do still enjoy my male half when it's around. I feel......right....when I am feminized.
     
  25. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    Hmmm, i just don't understand why it must be "boyshorts" (yuks) ... i see your point in not wanting to spoil your frillies at work, but why aren't you going to wear some plain panties. Wouldn't it be an exciting thought to know that all your female co-workers are wearing boyshorts for comfort whily you - the sissy - is the only one wearing proper panties *giggle*

    Hugs, maid katrin
     
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