Starting a new chapter: my wife and I have been a FLR

I had a very serious talk with my wife a couple weeks ago. While I have some more kinky fetishes that she didn't enjoy, I say down with her and told her how I felt: what fantasies I could live with never acting out, which ones mattered and why, and what I liked and wanted from her (I've always been very attentive and subservient, and she has much more vanilla tastes, so she really didn't have much to ask of me on reflection).

After thinking it over, we agreed to begin a Female Led Relationship. It's been both thrilling, exciting, arousing, and a little scary for me. We've settled on a few ground rules for now.

Rule #1 is the simplest: she is the Head of Household and the only adult in the marriage. Her word goes, and I am not to whine, backtalk, argue, or complain. I am essentially a child and an addressed as such at times. This doesn't involve any fetishistic adult baby play, just a matter of fact reality - she is the woman in charge, and I'm the child being told what we are doing. I do still get consulted on our future decisions and finances and such, but as the head of household her word is final and as the adult she has the right to make any decisions she likes without me.

We haven't done a formal contract or anything, but the rest of the rules have evolved already based on some prior experimenting and reading on what other couples do:

- Panties only for me. I've had to toss my male underwear for women's brief panties. I'm also not allowed to wear plain white ones: they must have girly colors or patterns.
- No pants allowed at home. I'm just in a shirt and panties, and she's discussed buying nightgowns for me.
- 24/7 Chastity when not having sex. This is a tough one for me, but was my idea. I have a much higher sex drive and used to masturbate a lot. Now, except for weekly cleanings, I'm only to be let out for sex.
- Spankings are now a fixture. I get punishment spanks as they are earned, and a weekly Maintenance one every Monday (as a treat, I was allowed to pick which day of the week). She really enjoys spanking me, she's discovered.

I'm hoping we can gradually refine this as we go.

Not sure where it's going from here, but I was excited and scared about it, and wanted to share!

 

Thanks! It's definitely been a case of "be careful what you wish for". Even though it was a good, productive conversation I figured it would be days or weeks before we started, and even then it would be slow progress...maybe a spanking here, a few days of chastity there, and work up to a lifestyle change.

Nope. Within days everything was different. I even wound up with my first nightgown tonight, and will be getting my first weekly spanking tomorrow (since I picked Monday after this week's had already passed, I am apparently getting one this weekend, and one again on Monday to make sure I'm all caught up).

It's exciting, but also a bit scary. I'll definitely be keeping people filled in, and hope to hear from others too.

 

It was her idea for me to wear panties; I was down to just a couple old pairs, hadn't gone underwear shopping in a while, and she said "Oh, perfect timing, we can get you some nice pretty panties". I told her that was sweet of her to suggest, but I'd manage with my briefs. "No no, it's fine. We'll go right after work tomorrow and get some for you." I told her that I appreciated the teasing, but no, seriously, I did need new underwear.

"Yes, I know. Do I sound serious to you?"

The very next day she took me to the store, picked out the package of briefs (I'm not allowed a skimpier cut because "we need to contain that unnecessary appendage of yours", and modest cut or no, "You're still wearing panties, there's no getting around that"). When we got home I was put into a pair that she picked out immediately and told to throw out my old male underwear.

As for the day of the week, I did specify that was a "treat". She had decided there would be a weekly spanking, but I think she enjoyed the idea of me having to decide on setting an actual day.

I do get a fair amount of input, but that's because it's not as high a level of power exchange as some others. She doesn't want to be an all-powerful Domina, and that's her choice. This is the level of control she wants, which is why she specifically calls me the child in the house: I'm not her slave, but I am indisputably under her authority.

- Children don't make the rules, they follow them.
- Children can offer their opinion, but they can't make the decision.
- Adults decide where to go, what to do, children don't unless specifically asked by the adult.
- Children do the chores, and aren't supposed to complain or argue about the rules or the chores

Like I said, it's not fetishistic (I don't spend my nights in diapers...well, not anymore anyway), but just the way she likes things arranged. Plus, we both know it's consensual: no point in pretending I "hate" being put in pretty panties, so I might as well tell her what I like. She asked me about buying a nightgown and I said if it was my choice I'd get the least feminine one. She asked why since she knew that, protests aside, I'd want a very girl one. "If I'm going to be put into something that feminine, I'd rather it be you that decides what it is for me".

It works for us, because after all these years I've finally figured out how to let her shape and decide what it looks like, and what it looks like is a lot like the marriage we already had. She was already more or less in charge, I already did most of the housework for her and pampered her with things like massages and foot rubs or pedicures, so not much has changed except I am overtly in my place as a junior partner in the marriage and a sort of "housewife" to her being the head of household.

 

We'll see! She's already decided I need some prettier ones. She assured me my underwear will be by far the most girly and feminine of the two of us. She'd NEVER raid my panty drawer by the time she's finished.

She assured me that between online shopping, department stores, and lingerie stores she'd find what she wanted. She's very particular so each one will be pretty embarrassing on its own, I know. Doubt I'd wind up being taken to a store to pick it out, but one year on Halloween I was taken by a shoe store, in full french maid dress, to personally thank the women who helped pick out the shoes for that costume. It's unlikely I'll be taken by an actual store for shopping for them, but far from impossible.

 

Just got my first maintenance spanking last night. 25 swats with an oak paddle w/holes drilled. She REALLY seemed to be enjoying herself, and was trying to see if she could bring me to tears before hitting the full 25. I was bent over the bed, nightgown hoisted up by her, then she tugged down my panties and got started.

Since I picked Monday for my weekly day, I get another one tonight.

 

I definitely don't want to push too hard and ruin things. It's been over a week and I'm still in panties every day, still wearing a nightgown at home, and I would have gotten my weekly spanking on Monday but I still had some bruises(!) from Sunday's session, but I still got a couple warning swats and told I'll get another next week after they've healed

 

Ack, posted several times by mistake.

 

Accidental multi post

 

Just a quick update, can't believe that things are still moving along. Every Monday so far has ended with me getting paddled, 25 swats each time. She's being quite firm that this is the agreement we reached, and there's no changing it just because I want a day off or not to be paddled.

 

These have just been maintenence spankings. I haven't earned a punishment one yet, but she's decided that weekly paddling plus 24/7 panties has had an excellent effect on my behavior, so it won't be stopping.