Stargazers Story: A newbie's perspective of chastity.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Stargazer, May 11, 2014.

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  1. Stargazer
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    The Person

    I’m just turning thirty-three, have been married for eleven years and live in an ever developing urban sprawl. Am not yet a family man but hope to be soon if all the planets align in just the right way for us to conceive.

    The background:

    As a young teenager, I never thought I’d ever settle in a relationship. I was always the unpopular kid at school who nobody wanted to be with. As a result, I grew an unhealthy dependence on masturbation for my sexual relief.

    Despite meeting my wife when I was eighteen, I found it an impossible habit to break and still, to this day, use self-pleasuring as a quick-fix for stressful or boring situations. Whilst many will say that it is only healthy to do this, I feel that the dependence I have on it is unhealthy and since I have no ability to control myself – consistently allowing myself to submit to my urges – I have decided to invest in some mechanical assistance to suppress my urges.

    I am no stranger to BDSM. I’ve always – and I really mean ‘always’ – liked being tied and restrained. My wife and I have enjoyed a little bit of restraining each other for play over the years and I even tried to introduce a D/S dynamic into our marriage but that didn’t work out.

    Though we live as equals in our marriage, I still yearn for her to exert some control over me and we have found chastity not only to be a way to control my urges, but to also give me a little of what I want in a way that she is comfortable with.

    The belt.

    Having spent years staring at expensive belts and wondering how I could ever afford something like it, finally found a budget belt that promises to do much the same thing but for a fraction of the price.

    Stainless steel with a silicone rubber insert, it has an adjustable waist so it can shrink with me as I embark on my challenge to lose weight. The front shield is flared to prevent easy slipping out the sides and has a metal tube on the inside to seal the penis away from prying fingers. The back of the belt is a single steel strip that goes between the buttocks with a hole for defecation.

    The tube was found not to come up high enough for me so we have modded the belt a little to make it more liveable. We bought some acrylic tubing which should remain clean and long-lasting and used a specialised glue to attach it to the top of the steel tube so that I no longer have the ability to accidentally pull out when I sit down.

    The rubber edging also proved to be a little troublesome. A short term fix to this was to use wire cable ties to hold it to the metal. While not ideal, they don’t cause too much irritation so will remain in place until we think of a more appropriate method.

    The blog:

    Though I’ve spent just three days belted, prior to realising that it was hurting me from being poorly set up, I have some idea of what to expect. Toilet breaks, showering, sleeping and living while belted have all been done, however, it will take some considerable time before any of it feels normal.

    In my opinion, the seventy or so hours spent belted were my dress-rehearsal. What follows is the real thing. I will log my thoughts, experiences and feelings as I discover what it means to lose all control over ones sexuality.

    It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t a little bit afraid of the journey ahead of me, but i have spent probably twenty years as a slave to my sexual urges. In all that time, I’ve never had to go longer than 48-50hours without being able to orgasm. The idea of being subservient to my urges, an uncontrollable masturbation addict for the rest of my life, is far more terrifying than allowing someone else to decide for me what I can do and when.

    In my opinion, I had many a chance to show I could be responsible with a penis and I failed every time. If I don’t lock it away and give my keys away, I’ll end up doing something really irresponsible with it and put my marriage in jeopardy. I don’t want that.

    So I’m in this with the intention of making it the rest of my life. I hope to be like many of the established members on this forum who say that their belt/cage is so much a part of them that to not wear it makes them feel incomplete.

    Thank you for reading my story, and if you continue to do so, I would welcome any and all advice or support you think I may benefit from. If anything i say is helpful to you somehow, please let me know. If I know what information can help someone else, I can make an effort to concentrate on that area in future posts.

    And if there are any questions or requests, please get in touch and I will do my utmost to see what I can do. Finding good reliable information on this sort of lifestyle can be incredibly hard to come by sometimes.

    The forums here at ‘Chastity Mansion’ are a great step toward making a tricky subject more accessible and I’d very much like to become a part of that information base in order to help others who may be thinking about taking a similar course of action.

    Regards,

    Stargazer.
     
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  2. Stargazer
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    Being belted was my choice. My wife just liked the idea and is running with it. She says that anytime I change my mind, we’ll remove it and that will be that. But I’ve assured her that it will not come to that. This is something I intend to do properly. The only time the belt comes off is when she decides she wants it off. And once we’re done doing whatever it is we’re doing, it goes straight back on.

    On Monday morning, after my shower, We fastened on the belt and I got dressed. The modifications were working well but there was a little discomfort in the tube. I spent much of the day at my desk shifting awkwardly in my chair trying to find a way that I could sit without a horrid nagging pain.

    It wasn’t until I got home and we removed the belt for inspection that we realised part of our modifications, a water tight seal on the inside of the tube, was causing a lot of friction and through my movement and the changes in size of the penis throughout the day, my foreskin had rolled all the way back and had left the sensitive skin on the glans exposed to rub against the inside of the tube and the sealant.

    We left the belt off for two hours to give the throbbing a chance to go down, for me to have a thorough wash and to peel off the sealant from the inside of the tube. I then made the observation that the glue that holds the acrylic tube extension to the original stainless steel tube is bonded so well that it should already be watertight and that considering this glue can be used to fix boats, I don’t think it’s going to unstick anytime soon.

    The belt went on an hour or so before bed time and straight away I noticed the difference having a friction-free tube made. During the brief pre-mod stage of wearing the belt a couple of weeks ago, I had had great trouble sleeping. I had put this down to having a metal device clamped to my body that I was unfamiliar with.

    However, despite having not been belted for nigh on 2-weeks, Monday night was a restful and pleasant night and sleep was no stranger. I did awake a couple of times with my penis throbbing to become erect, but while trapped inside its prison, just caused a little discomfort. I reached down as, in the past I have instinctively done so to alleviate the urge to orgasm, but found nothing to hold on to.

    When I awoke properly, I had the same uncontrollable urge to self-pleasure. But that went away fairly quickly and I got on with my day. With nothing causing me any pain, I declared the belt safe for me to leave the house and go to work in.

    What occurred to me was how unusual it felt to know that here I was, just an ordinary bloke, locked into what is for all intents and purposes, a steel thong. If I can wear a chastity belt and function completely normally, how many other people do as well? It’s eye opening to see forums such as this brimming with people who are locked. It goes to show that this is something that is becoming increasingly less rare.

    It made me wonder about the people around me. Watching people sitting at their desks, walking through the office; are any of them also chaste? Are there others like me here? And then I thought about those with whom I work. What would they make of it if they somehow discovered I was belted? Would they ridicule me? Would they just carry on as normal out of uncertainty, or would they be interested and curious?

    It made me think a lot about how I might react if ever I was discovered. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of who I am or the choices I have made. I won’t go around thrusting it in people’s faces to provoke a reaction, but if approached, I will not hide.

    Despite my urges are dampened, part of my subconscious aware that they’ll serve no purpose anymore, I still have them. It is still very early days for me and I have yet to fully appreciate what chastity really means.

    Last night, I was laying in bed and just relaxing before we settled down and my wife walked into the room naked and declared that “maybe we’ll have that off for sex tomorrow night.” As if a switch had been flipped, I went rock-hard inside the belt and had to draw my knees up to alleviate some of the pressure. It’s still daunting to think that I’ve given her this power, but liberating also.

    But at least now, while we’re in the process of trying to make a baby, we know that I’m giving her everything I have to offer and that there will be no more waste. My belt is already starting to feel familiar and I’m not in the slightest disappointed with my choice of device. It may not be expensive and it may not be the most practical of them all, but it does the job, does it well and didn’t bankrupt me in the process.

    In fact, the budget construction has actually worked out quite nicely for me. The steel on the waistband is relatively thin, but this means that it has bent to fit me rather nicely and now almost, not exactly – but almost – resembles the ergonomic and dropped waists on some of the posh belts.

    It has been a good start to chaste life. And it gives me great hope that the future will be even better.
     
  3. Stargazer
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    Compared to the lengths of time I see people experiencing locked in their devices on this forum, the 3 days and probably somewhere around 20 hours without any sort of sexual contact for me, is nothing.

    But it certainly doesn’t feel like nothing from my perspective. I actually think I have sex-addiction. That I was able to convince myself I was okay at first seemed real, but as I passed the 2 day mark, the longest I have ever gone between orgasms, I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated and more jittery from not being able to get my fix.

    As it turns out, my wife and I didn’t manage to get around to sex last night because my rotten day stuck in a stuffy office with stupid, rude and ignorant cretins had left me feeling quite stressed and with a pounding headache that was 2 stops short of being a full-on migraine.

    Sitting at my desk today, I am physically shaking. I am fidgeting like I’ve got fire-ants in my belt and my mind is not at all on the job as I find myself unhealthily preoccupied by what my wife and I will do with each other the moment we both arrive home from our post-work walk.

    Maybe my urges were suppressed a little at first. Maybe I was just being a bit naive. But as each hour passes, I find the desperation intensifies exponentially and I appreciate just a little more the ‘real’ power that a keyholder has; I would literally do ‘anything’ she asked of me right now if it meant being rewarded with sex.

    And this is after just shy of 4 days. What am I going to be like if/when she decides to weaponise my chastity? What am I going to be like when we introduce her to the strap-on cock to pleasure her but keep me wanting?

    I guess I’m lucky in that we’re currently needing to have regular sex to try and get pregnant, but once we achieve that goal, what then?

    What sort of coping mechanisms are there for getting through this? Does it just get easier the more you go through it? Are there mental exercises one has to do? I’d appreciate any input at all on the matter because I’ve tried a few things from my desk today and none of them helped at all.

    This will not change my commitment to chastity. As I keep saying, I have a problem and this will help fix it, but I’d like it to not be ‘this’ difficult. Or is it meant to be this difficult? Am I embarking down a rocky and pitted road expecting a smooth ride? Or are there options for the silky like asphalt roads where one can glide from sexual encounter to sexual encounter, no matter how far apart with a zen-like composure?
     
  4. Stargazer
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    Disaster...

    Belt = Off
    Going back on = No idea
    Sex = Not for a few days yet it would seem...

    The belt came off so that we could check to make sure I wasn't getting sores from the silicone liner and we noticed that my foreskin had swollen quite badly. I've got another thread here about that. If you can help, please swing by and offer any input. http://www.chastitymansion.com/foru...ry-swollen-foreskin-after-being-belted.12799/

    After a few awkward explanations to a few medical peronnel, I was seen by an out of hours GP and he seems to think it's just a trauma swelling. I suspect it's linked to the foreskin incident from Monday. I'm counting on it being that because if I have a bigger problem with the belt, then this new chaste life is over almost as soon as it was beginning.

    But here's something factual I can add. No matter how horny one may become, no matter how much you may want to have sex... Nothing kills the drive quite like having a swollen bell-end.
     
  5. Stargazer
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    After 3 and a half days out of the belt, the swelling has gone down and left no trace that anything had been wrong. This comes as a great relief given that I need things down there to be working normally if we're to make a baby.

    But there was still a small amount of concern that it wasn't a trauma swelling and that it was a reaction to the glue. To test this theory, the belt went back on lst night before bed and we checked me this morning for any signs of abnormality.

    Mercifully, there was nothing out of place and so the lock was refastened immediatley for me to be sent to work. So I am, once again, back in the belt and likely now will be at all times except when she wants me for sex. To echo my previous sentiments, this is great but still mildy scary.

    It's rare that fantasy becomes reality, but I along with a number of other people whose stories are documented here, seem to have made it happen. There's hope for the world yet.
     
  6. Stargazer
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    There's an old saying; 'If something seems too good to be true, it proably is'. Oh, how I should have heeded tht warning. But my optimism was genuine this morning. After a night in the belt with no reaction, I was sure we had solved the problems. We even made little fleecy pads with poppers so that I can put them on to prevent sores buttake them off to wash. Everything was working out great.

    And then we came up to bed, one last precautionary check just to satisfy the worriers in us... My heart sank like rock when I saw the swelling was returning. I've been assured it's not a big concern. That it goes down after a short time. But this sort of reaction is not accetable to me. I can't dissapoint my wife by not being up for sex when she wnts me to be.

    So my belt is now totally redundant. It can serve absoltely no purpose in my life whatsoever. I am torn between slinging it into the dustbin or trying to see if it will sell somewhere. Perhaps now isn't the time to decide anything. I'm disapointed, angry and upset. I should wait until I'm calmer.

    In the meantime, I will be sick with jealousy of all of you people who are making this work for you. I so wanted to be part of the club, I so wanted to live the dream. Alas, like so many things in my life, it's not to be.

    If I return to this forum, it will be with a heavy heart and a 'for sale' sign. If I do not, then I wish you all the very best and would like to thank you for having me here for this very short, almost ephemeral time.

    Regards,

    Stargazer.
     
  7. maid_carrie
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    I hope you do come back - you have a lot to contribute I am sure, having had a chat with you when you joined :)

    Do not despair - you will find what is right for you in due course hopefully.

    I am sure you have a lot to contribute as you do seem quite inventive

    C
     
  8. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Please don't go !

    I have not read this thread all the way through before.

    Firstly you are putting yourself under quite a lot of pressure re the baby making and that is not good for that being stressed.

    Secondly your swelling its odd because not a lot of people have this problem so it really is either a possible allergic reaction to the glue or the tube.
    Or something sticking out or too high or have you thought of making the tube bigger by hammering it on a pice of steel bar .

    Xx Wendy
     
  9. Stargazer
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    I don't know. When we first go the belt and I was trying to wear it with everything very badly adjusted, I didn't get this issue. I don't want to think it's the glue because it doesn't feel like an allergy. There's no itching or irritartion, just swelling very much of the ilk that BlueEyes has told me about in my 'swelling' thread.

    Maybe the tube 'is' too high. I didn't have a problem after a night in the belt, roughly 8 hours of sleep laying almost face down and legs outstretched, but after a similar amount of time sitting driving to work and sitting at my desk, I'd had this reaction.

    I did notice that when sat down the belt shifted upward a little. Perhaps it is putting too much pressure around my groin. The tube has adjustment holes where we can slide it down. It is in its uppermost slot right now. Part of me wants to go make the adjustment and put it on and see how I get on.

    But there's a bigger part of me that is too scared to. Firstly, it's my birthday tomorrow and I really don't want to be sidelined with a swollen cock on a day that's meant to be a celebration (though why it has to be a celebration is beyond me. Sometimes think that maybe the Jehovas Witnesses are on to something in this respect) and secondly, I'm not sure I could take the disappointment a second time over if it doesn't work.

    I kow that this is a disgusting attitude to have and that it's completely self defeating. I want so much in life and so little of it works out. It leaves me wondering why I even bother. Giving up is so much easier. The number of times, when something gets on top of me, I lose all my fight and I just give in. if it wasn't for my wife, the only person in this diseased and spiteful world who keeps me clinging on day after day, I'd have killed myself a long time ago.

    My sanity has been pushed to breaking point twice in recent years. Most recently just over a year ago. After losing a baby during pregancy and my dad drinking himself into an early grave just before that, I was ready to give up as well. But she dragged me through and I thought I was getting strong again. But so much seems to just go wrong, so much seems to turn sour. There's so very little in life that actually makes it feel like there's a future to look forward to.

    And this debacle was just another kick in the ribs. Another one of those things that serves only to remind me that I'm not meant to be happy. I'm not meant to enjoy things. That my sole purpose on this crummy planet is to be a nearly-man who wallows in despair and envy, watching all those around him being happy and comfortable with who they are while he feels like a freak trying to blend in, putting up a facade of normality in the hopes he will be able to blend in and contribute.

    When it all boils down at the end, all that's left is everybody else enjoying their lives, and then me, too afraid to chase my hopes and my desires in case they don't work out again. Too afraid to live life because I'm not sure I can take any more of the pain.

    I feel like a coward. A loser. I'm not happy about it. I'm not proud of it. It just is. And I don't know if I can do anything to change that.

    The leopard can't change its spots.
     
  10. dboy
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    Sorry to hear how depressed you are. It's not uncommon these days. Don't give up on your dreams. Most here have to go through many devices before one is found that works. Remember, you are only a failure once you stop trying. Those who are sucessful in life have had many failures. But they kept going.. What you tell yourself in your inner thoughts affects who you are and what your your actions will be. Pretend to be the man you want to be and you will eventually become him.

    Good Luck
     
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  11. Stargazer
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    Firstly, I'm deeply and sincerely sorry for my last message in this thread. I was in a bad place for a few days. The disappointment from the failure with the belt and a few other big problems life is loading onto us at the moment all got the better of me and made a number of days particularly difficult.

    Though I'm well past my last big depressive phase, I do have occasional relapses. Fortunately, they don;t last long and I bounce back stronger and more stable afterwards. I apologise again that I did so this time in such a melodramatic and public manner. I'm a little embarrassed.

    Taking on board some advice from @Wendygirl , I adjusted the tube down a little so that it wasn't so high and then chose to start by spending another night in the belt. Since I had successfully gone a night previously without any problems, I figured this would be a good place to start another test.

    Sadly, when I awoke in the morning to check, there was a little bit of swelling. Not as bad as before, but it was starting to go again and so, alas, the belt has been decomissioned permanently. With no other devices that I can see fitting me either securely or comfortably or without me needing to remortgage the house and sell a kidney, this officially closes a chapter that had barely been started.

    I will get the belt cleaned up, figure all the costs and logistics involved and then post it up for sale once I've got it all worked out. I'm sure there must be someone here who can put it to use. I'd like to reduce my monetary losses a little, even just a tiny bit to soften the blow. Slinging it in the bin and watching it get taken to landfill seems diabolically wasteful.

    Thank you for your time.
     
  12. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Ok so I know this may sound like tough love but its not the belt we need to set that aside and try to help you through your depression .

    You have a lot to live for and a wife family and friends who love you dearly.

    As I said before you are putting too much pressure on your self . The chastity things you don't need so just park it for a while.
    However please do not stop posting or pvt msg if you do not want to do this in public.
    However I do a lot of this on another site and getting used to talking about your problems can really help.
    You can ask for your gp to refer you to your local mental health unit but that can take time unless you look like high risk.
    You are not worthless or useless anything but. Please just get used to talking and things will get better .
    Work through problems one at a time tick them off move them to the done side of the list

    Xx Wendy
     
  13. Stargazer
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    Wendy, thank you. But seriously, I'm alright.

    Fifteen-months ago I was high risk. I was getting home visits, I was medicated up to my eyeballs and I was off work for four-months. I came off my meds as 2014 kicked off and I've been alright. Occasionally, things bother me a little more than they have any right to, but as I said before, I bounce back and get on with it.

    With regards to putting myself under pressure... Well, there's no denying that. I do tend to let things get on top of me when I think that it's important. But I have an awesome wife who does everything she can to support me and help me when even I don't realise I need it.

    When I sold my crappy old Ford Escort, there was little point hanging around a Ford Owners forum there-after. I won't delete my account and I won't go posting spam to get myself banned. Maybe I'll swing by from time to time, but given that I have no way of continuing this lifestyle, it seems as though I'll have very little to offer.

    If, on the worlds most cataclysmic off-chance, I do have something worthwhile to contribute, then I'll chime in. But I struggle to see it happening.

    Thanks again for your kind message.
     
  14. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Its ok
    Depression is no fun but so much can be done just by talking .

    There is no mandatory need to be in chastity to stay on CM

    Xx wendy
     
  15. proximacentauri
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    Yet one more reminder...

    Don't do chastity till everything else in your life is in order!! I can't stress this enough. You're messing with hormones and emotions and the core workings of your body. You better have everything solid before you attempt something like this, or things will only get worse.
     
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  16. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Ohh interesting concept.

    Can a chastity device alter your hormones ??

    I wonder , nice idea, probably not, but it definitely alters something !!

    Xx wendy
     
  17. Stargazer
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    I like to think of myself as a reasonably resourceful chap. Okay, so I'm no MacGyver, but when I'm backed into a corner, I can still knock something together to get out of it.

    It was this mentality that saw my wife and I make a number of modifications to my belt in order to make it bearable. But all that seemed like wasted time with the 'swelling' problem.

    It has been a few weeks since that issue arose and I've spent all that time pondering on all the options available to me. Suffice it to say that choices are very few. And whilst there is mixed feedback regarding the most extreme ones, I'm not prepared to take the chance I'll be an unlucky one and cause problems for myself further down the line.

    So, whilst perusing 'square-one', staring distantly into oblivion from my desk at work, the solution (or so I hoped) struck me; if I'm retaining fluids to make the foreskin swell up, find something to draw the fluid away.

    The belt went back on last night before bed. The difference this time is that one of my old, holed socks is not stuffed up the bottom of the tube so that it rests against the head of my penis. This moring, I had no swelling of any kind. Changed the sock for another one after my shower and have just checked it after getting in from work. Again, all seems to be good still. So the belt stays on for tonight and we'll keep checking me to make sure that I'm not getting it wrong at all. Once we're confident that this is a fix, we can stop the checking and just go removing the belt whenever 'she' says it suits her.

    Logistically, it isn't an ideal scenario. The tube is designed to be difficult to get into for obvious reasons. Given the angle of the exit and the closeness to my body, getting the sock stuffed in there is hard, damn hard, but if it allows me to wear my belt then I'll endure it.

    Who knows, if this experiment works out, maybe we can make a small bendy brush to help me keep it clean in there...

    Feeling cautiously hopeful.
     
  18. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Hi Hunny
    Even though I am a little confused about this sock maybe due to a typo I am glad its all working out and I bet you feel really good because of that.

    So big hugz for you .

    Xx Wendy
     
  19. Stargazer
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    Indeed... Should be "is now stuffed" not "is not..."

    For an aspiring writer, I really suck at typing. Thanks for the 'hugz'. It is a relief to be belted again. It's strange how having something taken away from me actually completes me. Whether it be actual restraint or chastity, it just seems more comfortable than so-called 'normal' life.

    But hey, sometimes it's nice to be weird.
     
  20. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Lol I have no concept of weird I understand being happy .

    As I found out that I had gender dysphoria and began to understand why my life had been different to the expected pathway. I got to that moment when almost in an instant I decided to turn an apparently crap situation in to something good.

    To some my life may seem incredibly complicated juggling my boy and girl spirits but you get used to it.
    Even though at times she seems to overwhelm me and more often now.

    However the best advice I was given was to be who I want to be and I always go back to that thought .

    Xx Wendy
     
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  21. Stargazer
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    It is now three days in the belt, with only very brief removing to check for adverse effects and I'm happy to report that everything continues to stay the right shape and size.

    Stuffing a sock up the bottom of the tube is making a defninite difference. Whether that is because it is drawing any fluids away from the foreskin or because it is giving the penis less room to move about and thus reducing much of the arousal factor of having such a sensitive part of the body so snugly encased in a smooth tube, I'm not sure... But it is making a difference.

    However, it is a chore to do it. I have to be laying on my back with my head and shoulders propped up to have any chance of comfortabley an effectively reinsert it. So loo breaks away from home could be a problem. This is alleviated a little by the fact I have a big problem with public (and even office) toilets and avoid them at all costs, but now, with a metal band with no give clamped around my waist, my bladder has nowhere to expand to and I'm finding myself required to answer natures call more regularly than I'm used to.

    I sense I may need to formulate a small sponge or flannel on a bendy stick that I can use to swab and mop up easily after a toilet break and then once washed, reinsert into the tube and leave there to soak up anything else. This will take some doing but where there's a will, there's a way.

    As for the sexual urge... Day 1 was a breeze. 'Anyone can do this,' I thought.

    Day 2 was a little harder. 'How do people do this,' I thought...

    Day 3 is actually quite difficult. Though if all goes well, I'll get some kind of relief tomorrow... Here's hoping that plan still goes ahead. Though I have no objection to being made to wait, I'm not used to it like so many more experienced people and thus probably need to build up to long term denial.

    My wife has yet to sieze the chance to use the chastity as a means of control. Though she's not the Dom/Sub type, I still hope, deep down, that she really embraces the power that being a keyholder gives her. There's still plenty of time for that though. We're still technically brand new at all this and even I'm still trying to get to grips with what life will be like for me going forwards.
     
  22. Stargazer
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    There has been a notable absence from this message-thread. This is because, again, the wheels came off the chastity wagon in quite a frightful way.

    Whilst about to be rebelted after a romantic interlude, we discovered that my belt was terminally damaged. The metal strip that goes up the back and fastens into the waistbelt had begun to split apart. The edges had cracked and bent in quite severely and it was losing its battle to keep going. The belt was shelved and I was, once again, very disapointed by it all.

    Many, many weeks passed and it was evident that I didn't only want the belt on, but that I needed it to keep my hands from doing things I'd rahter they didn't. I began to think about how I could repair or salvage the belt. To do this, I had to understand why it broke.

    I studied the breaks in the steel and noticed that it had to have been caused by a side to side motion, almost like a pendulum effect. I concluded that as I walk and/or fidget in my office chair, I was causing the section of the belt that goes between my legs to move from side to side a little. The waist band is always exactly where it is. So the metal on the rear strip was being compacted and then stretched with evewry move I made.

    Today, we (might have) fixed the problem. We snapped the strip of metal at the back so that the top with the four screws that secure into the waist was gone. We used some pliers to bend over the top of the strip and fold it back on itself so that no sharp edges were exposed and then screwed the strip back in using a single screw.

    It is as strong and secure as the four-screw bracket was, but now has the advantage that is can work like a pendulum. So now when I walk, the rear strip can pivot from side to side and no stress is put on any part of the belt. The bolts that go on the back of the screw are done up so tight that they can't be removed without first taking the belt off and peeling off the rubber insert to get tools in there, but not so tight that they undo themselves during normal operation.

    These cheap chastity belts are not built very well. They don't do a particularly good job. I concede that. However, they can be great and they can be ultra effective if developed into something better. It reminds me of a car experience I had a few years ago.

    Financial circumstances and concenience saw my wife and I car-share for a few years. But after a while, as she began to move into a new job, I had to get a car of my own. I settled on a Ford Escort. It was a noisy and uncomfortable little things but it did a job and it was almost acceptable. But each time I tried to do something, I realised that it was terribly equipped and the car needed to be modified. I found forums absolutely choc-full of people modifying Ford Escorts to function better.

    But then my Escort started being a bitch for its MOT so we sold it on and I bought a Volvo S40. Everything in the S40 worked perfectly and no mods were needed to make it behave like a normal car. So I wasn't enough of an enthusiast to modify my Escort, but the analogy applies here... The cheap and cheerful belt, like the Escort needed some owner input to do its job.

    I must admit, I am braced for the worst should it decide to throw another curveball... But I have confidence that this time we've cracked it.
     
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  23. Stargazer
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    So far so good. The first stint in the belt lasted about 2 days, 3 hours (ish) and then we retreated to attempt some baby making. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I fired more than just a few hours worth of sperm so maybe this will increase our chances. Admittedly, I do have a little pause for thought regarding my testicles being pressed so closely to my body, but they've never been particularly loose so I supopose things aren't 'that' out of the ordinary. Time will tell if I've been hurting our chances by over-masturbating in the past.

    Weirdly, despite that 2 and a bit days went by with me in pretty good shape, I find myself going almost out of my mind today. She is out visiting family this afternoon and I have a day off work. Normally in thse circumstances, alone in the house, not a great deal to do, I'd flick through a few tumblr blogs, find some banging bondage pictures that turn me on and then jerk off. Well, this time, all I can do is look at the pictures and then stare forlornly at the empty space where my penis ought to be. I guess it's high-time I delete all the browser bookmarks to those sites and don't ever go looking them up again.

    I've heard somewhere that sexual pleasure is a sort of catch 22; that by getting that release, one craves it even more. I always figured that was why I was such a chronic self-abuser. The more I did it, the harder it was to stop. In a way it sort of justified what I was doing and took some of the blame and responsibility away from myself. Now, with my steel underwear firmy in place, I'm starting to learn what it means to want but not have. At least in terms of sexual release. These paltry little times I'm clocking in are almost blinks of the eye compared to what other men here are experiencing. I keep telling myself that while we're trying to start a family of our own, sex will be fairly regular and that I can look forward to that. Quite how others manage to go weeks, months or even years blows my mind.

    Unless there is something in that little soundbyte that rings true. Those of you who are longterm locked, do you find the desire to have sexual release reduce over time? Does having sex less frequently balance the sex-drive into being easier to live with on a daily basis or does each instanc of sex hit reset and send you back to being some kind of sex-mad monster?

    I'm trying to take my mind off things, but the pressure inside my belt keeps tightening and I find myself clawing at the front of it desperate to get through the lock. I know this shows me up as a man with a problem, but this is why I volunteered to enter chastity. I'm not about to quit because it's a little tough, but I would like to hear if this is something I can expect to live with evermore, or if it will slowly become easier with the passage of time.

    Thank you.
     
  24. Nostromo
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    I am curious: Why did you jump to a full belt and not try a cage? I've never done a belt, but they seem much more challenging than a cage in terms of fit, hygeine, etc. If your goal is masturbation control, my JailBird works just fine.
     
  25. Stargazer
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    I did a lot of looking into cages initially. I was attracted by how affordable many of them were compared to full-belts. However, I quickly went off the idea because my sack doesn't hang low and I had serious doubts about their security. After all, if something can slip on, what can't it just slip off?

    I've seen conflicting reports on how good they really are. Many swear by them, equally as many swear because of them. But given the shaky reliability and my biology, I figured it was not a good way to go. As an aside, one of the things my wife brought home from one of those Ann Summers night things was a leather penis harness that is meant to clamp around the base of the testicles and then up the penis itself.

    Could I get the thing to stay on? Never! just slipped off every time, no matter how it was done up.

    I must admit, cleanliness with this belt is tricky. I've found ways of coping and am washing even more regularly than before. But I'm willing to suffer this small indignity in order to not live like a horny, lonely teenager all my life.
     
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