Some tips for subs and slaves

I don't agree. Books, Movies etc. CAN be reality. Just a point of view. Maybe not your reality or what you would like to be real or not. But can be still real. Like a biography or documentary. Your toughs might not changh the reality behind the "story" or the histroy behind it.

 

if it wasn’t for people believing media, WW2 would never have happened, Idiot presidents would never get elected. Women wouldn’t be degraded into cheap sex objects.

the impact is very real because people give their consciousness to it.

I approach this question from the concept of consciousness, I believe in our ability to choose and create reality. But my background is in anthropology and Native American shamanism, I vision quest, I experience “non ordinary reality” as described in the literature. So my views on what is real are different than most folks.

If it enters human consciousness, it’s real. Regardless of the mechsnism or media. Humans are easily hypnotized, and generally addicted to constant stimulation by media.

comes down to your personal philosophy I suppose. Our answers come from thinking coming from a belief system based on a certain philosophy / cosmology of how life works. True for every opinion on here.

peace

p

 

I agree with you to a point; certainly many of our current problems arise from people not engaged in critical thinking skills and for the most part, abandoning reason. But speaking as a materialist, assuming that 'mysticism' is a better solution is not only a false dichotomy, it's also no better a solution than being 'hypnotized' by media.

While it's probably true to say that there are alternate ways of understanding what passes for reality (such as the quantum level, or the macro level, cosmic level, etc.), there has to be a way in which we can determine whether or not any particular viewpoint is valid. This would involve testable, repeatable experimentation that's falsifiable and objective (or as much as possible to remove any bias). A subjective experience like a vision quest may 'feel' real, but it's pretty much useless in determining what 'reality' is.

History of course, is replete with examples of influences from such subjective feelings having real-world consequences. But there needs to be clear-cut separations between such subjective opinions and a more bedrock form of reality that we all have in common. Full-scale war over things like how many angels can dance on the head of a pin just muddy the water and cause more problems than they (supposedly) solve.

 

i would like to answer, to what i see and thinking about the submissive live style and what You wrote.

after seeing Your pictures i would ( i won't) message You and ask to meet You but not for fetish but because Your flat and the stuff there (like the drinking machine) are amazing and very very pretty!!!.
Also Your house looks a bit "nerdy" which i really love the idea behind it.

if i will be serious for a moment.
i was submissive to some amazing Lady which i had the honor to server her for 4 years.
First time i met Her was to be Her driver, because i have issue's with panic attack and with my car i feel safer and it's much easier for me to meet Ladies, for the first time, as their driver.

after few times she told me to go up to Her apartment and after sometimes She even gave me a key so i can come clean and do what ever She told me.

During those times i loved honor Her, show Her respect, i bought Her voucher for a day in Spa or invited someone to Her house to give Her massage.
i bought Her lingerie, i bought Her shoes from "Nine-West", took Her to restaurant for Her birthday.
the main issue for me was that all those things i did because i WANTED to do it.
i wasn't obligated to do it.
i wasn't forced to do it.
i did it because i enjoyed serving Her, i appreciate the fact She gave me the opportunity to serve Her.

i'm not much of easy going person due my depression and panic attack and even though it was hard, i did all my best to bring Her comfort, to make Her calm and relaxed.

my idea for best servitude and it's for me to do what needed to be done at the house and everything else You (for example) desire (no sex).
and if after a long and hard work day, You coming back home, throw Your shoe's on the floor, laying on the sofa with a nice cup of tea, watching television (or something else) realses sigh of relive from the fact You don't need to do anything except relax and enjoy from doing nothing.

That's what i love.

Today when i wish i could have serve some Dominant Lady the problem is most of the Ladies, demands that i send them gift or money even before i met Them.
for me, a gift needs to be given because i want to and not because i have to.

i hope i succeeded in having my opinion pass.

i am sorry if my english is not the best one in the world.

 

my experiences as a switch have been 98% as a top. the etiology seems that most "bottoms" have a history of self-esteem withdrawals while they were minors. this can be just emotional abuse, from parents and peers, but is more often real sexual abuse. oddly the women I worked with (topped) who had the most extreme sexual abuse did not have more extreme symptoms (needs) than those who (like me) had relatively mild (less frequent and intense) sexual abuse -- less than ten times for example. the result seem to be the same. as the most intensely abused woman put it (patient 0), the sex was not so bad as the secret. She was actually subjected to inverted suspension coprophagy by her siblings at age 5, so if any one had worse abuse than that I have to salute them for surviving it. But she said that the worst thing was hearing the girls at school wonder "what do boys have in their pants" and knowing too well, at whatever age, the answer, but having to say nothing. this made her an accomplice in her abuse. The result is that vanilla sex -- some guy comes along and says "you are beautiful i love you" and is moving towards a marriage proposal but she is thinking it is all fake and wants instead to be tied up and insulted. Most "male tops" just see her as a cum dump masturbation object but i myself (a male abused as a minor) understand because I had the same self-esteem withdrawals. less intense but same same result. the girls wanting to marry me -- i wanted them to sit me up, sit on my face and piss in my mouth -- even while i was still a teenager. there were no chastity cages in those days!! best invention other than the smartphone in my entire life IMHO is the cage. So the "submissive" thing is related to self-esteem damage.

In gays there can be simply the society telling you (church for example) that you are bad. And so they can like kink submission but take it in some cases more lightly -- still enjoy vanilla gay sex.

But most of us hetero submissives, male or female, have the abuse history in my experience. Women have the curse that their tops are awful men who typically can't imagine bdsm as therapy for the bottom. Men have the curse that women typically can't imagine being dominant and when asked about it ask the guy to tie them up (SO many times that happened to me!) which is ok but well...

So those here with a true dominant female or even one willing to dip a toe in that water are lucky. Have been l ucky off and on to be topped and teased. I like the tease that does not lead to orgasm -- pinch the male urethra hard top to b ottom -- two fingers will do! and the orgasm stops cold. don't squeeze the shaft as whole. you can do it again and again -- no limit other than your own cruelty and patience. slave can ooze enough pre-cum to satisfy the prostate's need to relieve its full state -- no need really to empty the sperm cells in the balls -- there is no cum there -- so the precum -- semen really -- from the prostate -- which is clear as water -- this is what you don't mind if it just leaks out -- no pleasure really.

the other option is to s trapon or finger or probe the prostate to release its clear fluid so slave cums "like a girl" mildly pleasant but hardly a boy orgasm. this way cage s tays on. other alternative is to duct tape vibrators to the cage and leave slave tied up for hours. this usually produces leaks not real cum -- but "your mileage may differ." your slave may release white cum while other slaves may release clear cum slowly over time.

for me the humiliation is what makes it. the mantra is "sissies don't deserve to cum," while sissy-bitch is licking mistress' pussy, eating her ass, cleaning her feet, eating her toenail clippings and toejam, or other things maybe this forum doesn't want to hear about. https://syssybitchfootslave.bdsmlr.com/ is my artistic blog of various humiliations associated with FLR and chastity. i think my favorite night was eating Mistress ass from sunset to sunrise, hands tied behind my back, being insulted all the time, the cage feeling off and on tight as i got and lost my erections, mostly due to the inspired insults she came up with now and then. I did this before the cage was invented (not as long perhaps) but the cage adds that you are really a slave feeling to it -- you are not even considered a person.

 

I think I have a long road to do. I might get loss often. Thank you for your tips Mistress Lucy.

 

You should be given an honorary Doctor of Psychology diploma, if you haven't already.

 

I want to avoid becoming that selfish.
I can sympathize with your thought, as a switch I could say I know both sides of the coin. I guess that "relationship" only works on rare cases, only in "just sex" mod.

 

Good thread. Many good points, especially by Lucy. It’s refreshing to hear an honest assessment and opinions from a dominant woman.

I certainly have my fetishes. And I’ve made mistakes on approaches to dominant women. I’d like to think I’ve learned a little more today. I am sincere in finding abs establishing a healthy relationship with a strong confident woman who is happy. I am at the stage now to scale back my overt search and just let fate and organics take over.

 

I understand this. Thank you. Consideration , time and patience. We have to enjoy the journey .

 

I understand the frustration that women feel on this. But this site is online, world wide and unregulated. What Lucy suggests does not work on this site - in fact it would probably make the issue considerably worse.

want to stop the stalking, harassment and/or pestering private messages and still be an online site for chastity discussion? Get rid of “verified female” designation and restrict private messages from only those approved by the member

 

Your message opened my eyes. Thank you for your wise words Miss Lucy.

 

i had an online chastity Mistress (KH if You want), there was never any intention of meeting. We were chatting about things, including chastity, and i asked if She’d like to control my next proDomme session, ie give the proDomme instructions for my teasing/punishment, which She did, and i put the two of them in contact under the proviso that my clitty was now Hers — so no touching, except brief washing without Her permission.

my online Mistress would set me challenges, such as watching porn without touching, or rubbing myself 20 times without cumming and periodically visiting my proDomme to take whatever i was to receive unknowingly. Sometimes i would be instructed to attend wearing my device and/or pussy plug, but always wearing a certain thong.

i went for over six months without cumming, although i was self milked regularly. my first wank was on a flight back from my homeland, in an airline toilet, so that i would join the mile high club, wanker’s division.

 

You posted this some time ago, but I only saw it today and hope it is okay to reply. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say how much I appreciate the wise sentiment and the thought that you put into what you have expressed. Sadly, few people understand a very simple principle which certainly transcends MC or kink.

Asking anyone for something and then talking about only what you want to gain from it will never get you anywhere. I think whether you are seeking a KH or any favor from someone, you must understand you are asking someone to do you a kindness. With that in mind, why would someone believe the way to convince them to agree is ignoring completely what that person wants by focusing only on yourself. As you seem to infer, selfishness impresses no one.

Since I’ve so far been unable to meet anyone locally who might be suitable and willing to consider acting as my keyholder, I’ve only engaged Professional Dommes for keyholding services for a couple of reasons.

First, with online keyholding my best option at the moment, it would never occur to me to ask a woman who didn’t know me to do me the favor of acting as my keyholder. I can’t imagine how she might benefit from it. What would be in it for her? So, I’m happy to pay someone for the service because it only seems fair. We both get value from the arrangement.

Second, as much as I might wish to serve my keyholder, separated by distance and interacting only online, makes it impossible for me to do that in any meaningful, tangible way. Sure, I could express my appreciation and respect. And of course, I do that with professional keyholders. Even though I’m paying them for a service, they are still doing me a kindness by giving me something I feel I need. So I feel better knowing that they are least getting the tangible benefit of the payment. Otherwise, how could they justify spending the time and effort necessary to be my keyholder? If they didn’t benefit, it would be very unfair.

It seems, given your use of the word “meet” in your post, that you’re speaking of men asking to meet in person for whatever they have in mind they want, rather than online. But I’ve framed this as it fits my circumstances. And whether it’s face-to-face or online, I think your principles still apply the same.

If, as an example, I was asking you to do me the kindness of being my keyholder, which I wouldn’t for the reasons enumerated, I would try to see it from your perspective. I’d try to think of what advantages and disadvantages might accrue to you, if you consented. Advantages might include gaining a respectful, loyal, and appreciative submissive and the opportunity to lock another penis in a cage where they all belong. Yet, I’m sure you already have all the respectful, loyal, and appreciative submissive men you desire and have probably already locked a hundred or perhaps hundreds of penises already. So, not sure either would be real advantages. And, as a disadvantage, I’m sure the time and effort you might devote to being my keyholder you could use toward some more advantageous and important activities. Looking at it from your perspective, I easily see how irrational my request would be since you wouldn’t get any tangible benefit to offset your investment.

Please forgive the length of the reply, but I wished you to know that I appreciate the wisdom you’ve shared here. It’s excellent advice that submissive men need to hear. Thank you.

 

https://chaster.app/sessions/pQ9OtPozo2EL4A42

 

I'm just new to all this and my Mistress is very busy and I don't know anyone else in the space to share with

 

I have a question. I am new to chastity and all this stuff. I am wearing the smallest ring to my chastity cage because when I wear the others it falls off. The small one fits, but my balls go a little numb and cold. Is this normal?

 

They should not be doing that

 

Unless your KH asks you to take it for her amusement

 

i alreayd have anser that one.

 

i have made this mistake with my wife before and had to be pulled up On it.
Kind of defeats the objective of a FLR. It should be all about the womens needs.

Even if it is just being tea bitch for the day lol

 

Sounds like fantastic advice to me.

 

Any time I`ve presented my real submissive self to a potential Mistress I`ve been accused of not having enough self worth and respect. Which of course is like saying " look at me I`m a door mat to wipe your feet on" And understandably it is a major turn off sadly. Hard to even get anywhere near a relationship. And when I was younger I was always worried that family and acquaintances might hear about nobody liking or respecting me because I laid my heart out to be trodden on regularly.

 

Perhaps some people want to meet early on to see if if its worth their time to get to know you which of course goes both ways.. I can't envisage being against an early meeting .... I've nothing to hide