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So...I've had one of those days.

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Amanda's bitch Sophie, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. I am in a D /s relationship with my partner Amanda (better change that to Miss Amanda, as she has promised to check up on what I'm writing here ). ;)

    We have only known each other 4 years. The last 2.5 years of which have have gotten a bit kinky. It started off with orgasm denial for me. Sometimes when we were masturbating together, she would come first ( because I was trying desperately to hold off, so I could watch her ) when this happened, she would reach over and grab my wrist, or pull on my balls, to physically stop me from climaxing. It started as a bit of a laugh - almost a practical joke - but after it had happened a few times, I really started to enjoy it. Another thing she did, which I found a bit unusual, was when I was giving her oral and she had an O, she would roll over in bed and almost instantly go to sleep. The first few times this happened, I was left speechless. That had never happened to me with any other woman. Generally, they were so happy to get an extended session of oral, that they would do anything to get me off in return. I was intrigued.

    Many long conversations ensued. She confessed that she had always been very selfish about orgasms, and had actually lost a number of boyfriends because of it. I loved hearing her talking about past relationships....it was like a drug to me. I pointed out that she behaved very like a guy - she laughed and said "Yeah, I've often been told that ". More about that another time.
     
  2. Apologies...hit the post button by accident. Will continue with OP....

    ......The non-mechanical chastity continued for a while...by this time, I had to ask her if I was allowed to climax and very often, the answer was no. I was getting so excited thinking about this weird situation I found myself in, I started researching. The first time I showed her a metal chastity device on a sex toy site, she said that we should definitely get one. When it arrived, we had the usual beginners struggles with getting it on, but it was pretty much an overnight success.

    I have seen a number of posts on this site about what came first - chastity or feminization. I honestly can't remember which came first in my case. I think they both kind of happened simultaneously, over a crazy couple of months. In any case , it wasn't too difficult for me, because I had latent CD fantasies.

    To cut a long story short, I am now completely dominated by Miss Amanda. I have no male underwear left, only a drawer full of knickers, pantyhose, suspender belts etc. I have been cajoled into wearing skirts and high-heels as soon as I get home and have to do all the housework. This is almost indescribably erotic to me. Very often, as I get into my fem clothes, I can imagine that my heart is about to thump it's way right out of my chest.

    Which brings me to today. My forced (?) cross dressing is not even remotely sexually stimulating to Miss Amanda - she has been quite open about that from the start. She enjoys the effects it has on me, she enjoys being able to manipulate and dominate me...how submissive it makes me and how it seems to magnify the effects of my chastity device. She has initiated and encouraged me to cross dress, right from the word go, but it is definitely not a turn-on for her.

    Today was Hellish......I have literally not stopped for more than a 5 minute break. I have been a maid, a nanny, a cook, a cleaner, a personal shopper, a masseuse and a general dogs-body. For most of it, despite my indignation, my penis has been straining at its metal bars.

    I can't help wondering though, if I'm not making a terrible mistake. Miss A. readily admits that she is taking advantage of me (that's her buzz) and much of the pleasure I get is from the many-layered fantasies that exist only in my head. She is being borderline abusive.....and I am topping from the bottom. My big worry is that we are enabling each other....

    Any thoughts ?.
     
    Him and Her and anasyrma like this.
  3. I think it depends on how you feel about it all. There is nothing wrong with talking to her about your work load. You won't be doing her any favors by burning yourself out and end up not wanting to do any of it.

    In my opinion even a D/s relationship is still centered around communication, and respect. Plus this is supposed to be fun, I'm not saying to quit when it gets rough, but you should be able to voice your concerns.
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.

  4. That's exactly it Nicoftime - I feel a bit pissed off about it all. Miss A is not a good communicator at all. We are so role-reversed, it's not true. I've never met another woman who is less comfortable talking about her feelings. I on the other hand am constantly being chastised for over-doing the "lets talk" thing. This hammers what's left of my male ego, which gets me aroused, makes me want to be more submissive and the whole cycle repeats itself
     
  5. Lol it sounds like she knows what she's doing then
     
  6. I have the opposite problem. My wife will reach orgams in 1-3 minutes most times so I have to try to hold her back. When I am given the treat of performing oral on her, she is down in 2 minutes and pushing me away since she gets very sensitive down there. Plus her orgasms are very intense and at her age, they sometimes do take a lot out of her.

    Although we do not have a D/s relationship, she has been asking me to get her cup of coffee at night (decaf) and I am now the official clean up man after dinner. I do not have to obey though. She said she would love to have her feet massaged tonight and I just did not respond. If she senses I do not want to do something, she will drop it. Even with the nightly coffee, she will wait until I am going to the kitchen anyway. Plus she always thanks me for everything I do.

    We always remember that chastity is just one in a very long line of sex games we have played over the last 44 years. It is not our life or who we really are outside of the sexual arena. Up till 7 years ago it was always her girlfriend who demanded things and would make me pay for disobeying her. Even then, she did not ask much outside of the bedroom. Same kind of stuff fetching things for her and cleaning up after her. I cannot make myself a real sub. It is just not in me to do so since I always want to be the alpha male in any group setting I am in. I can play a role though, especially if there is sex as a reward.
     
  7. Those doubts are from my experience part of the life we have chosen. Many of the veterans around the mansion have posts about facing their doubts. I'm still a rookie, but at times I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. Right now my wife is hosting a party of female friends. I prepared all the food for the party as instructed and now it's like I don't exist. I didn't prepare the food to earn anything, but you can't help feeling some resentment. I'm sure later she'll drop some comment about how lucky she is to have a husband who is her personal caterer and I'll be on cloud 9. No lifestyle is rainbows and unicorns all the time. It sounds to me like you two have a dynamic that works well. You should reflect on all the good stuff you have going for you. There is no problem as Nic suggests to communicate, but don't let perfect be the enemy of great.
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.
  8. Oh yeah, she knows what she's doing alright. I started this and I am seriously worried about where it's going. Genuinely feel out of my depth now. She is some kind of Dom evil genius. The scary bit is it seems to be absolutely effortless on her part
     
  9. Last night was a case in point.

    For the last 7 days Miss A has had me in female underwear, skirt and heels. I was only allowed to leave the house to shop for groceries or hang washing out to dry. I did absolutely everything and Miss A never lifted a finger. She kept me going through all this, by teasing me about being a little bitch and telling me that on Friday night, after all my chores were done, she would use the strap-on me by ripping a hole in my tights and giving my "pussy" a good pounding.

    When we went to bed, she just rolled over and I could tell she was going to blank me. After a silence I asked if I was getting my reward...all I got was a "no". I was so looking forward to it I could have cried with frustration. In a major hissy fit, I ripped of all my female stuff and said we weren't doing this any more. All Miss A said was "your loss"

    When I woke up this morning I was determined to follow through with my threat. It only took about an hour for MissA to sit me down and give me a stern talking to about giving her cheek and being disobedient. She ordered me to put my knickers and tights back on, which I did and she told me that I am going to have to try much harder from now on. Complete obedience at all times. She says that she is going to "ramp things right up"

    As I sat there in my woman's underwear, with a raging hard-on, being scolded like a little bitch - I found myself asking how have I allowed this to happen and why am I so powerless to do anything about it
     
  10. I have found that sometimes plans change and not to take it as a personal slight. Occasionally after I give her an intense O, or I do something special, she says she is going to do something. Well like men, her eagerness also wanes as the day goes on. Finally by bedtime she has lost all interest. Not something I particularly care for, but such is life.

    I think she knew your quitting was an empty threat, and knew what you really wanted. She got all bossy, told you who was in charge, and exerted her authority.
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.
  11. This is so true and one of the reasons I've always tried to encourage my wife to do stuff in the middle of the day when the kids are away at school. She has always resisted this like the designated sex time must be at night just before going to sleep. It is the point in the day we are all the most tired and it is so easy to say tomorrow. Last night we came back from having dinner at a friends house and it was a late night. She hadn't had an orgasm since Sunday and had been talking about it the last couple of nights, but she was always too tired at the end of the day. She said the same thing last night, then changed her mind and told me to go get her toys and to please her. :) It was fun, but brief and then straight to sleep.
     
  12. Haven't posted for a while and things have gone a bit strange....

    About 3 weeks ago, Amanda had a massive hissy-fit. She accused me of 'ruining' our relationship.....'you started this , not me' , and 'why can't you be a real man' etc. etc.

    Needless to say, this was a massive hammer blow to my ego....and not in a good way. I threw out a lot of stuff (physical things), which I bitterly regret now and went a bit sulky and strong, silent type.

    I was silently fuming. I felt I was being unfairly blamed for something that was a joint effort. Yes, I started it, but at every turn, each new thing I suggested, was enthusiastically embraced by Amanda. I lived for those times when she would call me a little bitch, or casually say ' go and do xyz.....NOW ! ' As I have mentioned, Amanda tends to keep her own council. She never liked talking about our 'private' relationship dynamic and although That frustrated me almost to death, I accepted that that is how she is. I was convinced she enjoyed the way our relationship was developing and she said as much to me. I was doing less topping from the bottom - almost none latterly, in fact - and was amazed with some of the innovations she thought up to humiliate me.

    The day after her blow out, I asked her if she wanted to talk. Nothing....completely patched. We defaulted to a weird kind of vanilla state (which we have never really had ) - she started doing some domestic stuff, whilst I sat in front of the telly, watching re-runs of The Sopranos with a bottle in my hand - hilarious lol. :(

    That state of affairs continued for about three weeks. I was miserable, but I wasn't sure that she was, so I began to reconcile myself to the fact that this might be how things are from now on.

    Two days ago, we were lying late in bed. We were spooning and gradually waking up. Amanda turned to me and said ' Go and get a pair of my tights and put them on' As soon as I had done it, she gave me a verbal list of things she wanted me to do. She never called me a little bitch and I never called her Miss Amanda. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of us, that we both needed something that we had been missing

    I think this could be a new phase in our relationship. Some of the role playing and theatrics have been wearing a bit thin ....even I would admit that....and I think we are starting to settle into a long term And meaningful FLR.

    Maybe too soon to make sweeping projections about the future. I'll keep my fingers crossed
     
  13. It sounds like she must have been feeling quite tired of the whole thing and was yearning for some sanity after living in your fantasy world for some time.
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.
  14. i guess this answers my question... giggling
     
  15. I've been struggling with this myself. The newness that made everything exciting is over. It is routine now. I don't think that makes it bad, but it's different and it's harder to maintain my enthusiasm at times. Right now I know there are dirty dishes that need my attention, but I don't feel like doing them.
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.
  16. It would seem so. The thing that's interesting to me though is that she could have killed it dead ( she had )and I would have had to accept it.

    It now seems to be partially resurrected in her own terms and I'm looking forward to see how things develop
     
  17. She wanted to purge and to get back to Vanilla.
    Which isn't always possible....
     
  18. To be fair, it was I who did the purging - and that's going to cost a bit to replace....if it ever does.

    I think things are just shifting and settling a bit. I think we both want this but have to agree terms.

    It's four in the morning here. Half an hour ago, Amanda elbowed me in the ribs and ordered me to go and get her a packet of cigarettes. No teasing or name calling -I just got dressed, jumped in the car and got them. Maybe that is vanilla lol
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  19. I would say read some of vinnies posts. Its entirely possible that she is testing you and if you don't pass the test she will bolt.. What she may want is a strong male in life and a submissive in the bedroom
     
  20. Amanda and I are not long back from a Hallowe'en party.

    She went as a sort of scary witch - the kind of witch you really would not want to meet on a wind-blasted heath on a dark night. She had wild, back-combed hair, sprayed grey, very gothic makeup, a long, tattered dress with corset etc. Think Bellatrix LeStrange, the day after the night before. She looked amazing. I did a kind of vampire thing, which was a concession, as I really wanted to ( be forced to do ) some kind of Femdom thing. Never mind.....She made me wear knickers and black tights under my outfit :)

    After the party, We jumped into a Black-Hack. As we were driven home, Amanda became thoughtful and started having a rant about female Hallowe'en costumes.

    We had seen slutty nurses, slutty witches, slutty maids and even a slutty zombie. Most of the younger ladies present had come as slutty unicorns and the rest were dressed as Harley Quinn.

    As Amanda pointed out, WTF has happened to Feminism ? Germaine Greer and Camille Paglia were mentioned at length.....she wanted to know why all the work done in the 60's and 70's was being undone by Generation Y , who seem determined to self-objectify themselves. I nodded my agreement and refused to be drawn in.

    Anyway....since we have arrived home, Amanda has informed me that she intends to become a 'rabid' Feminist - something I have never really heard her talking about before. She has warned me that if I ever make reference to "helping" her with the washing / cooking / cleaning ever again, she will wipe the floor with me. These are MY jobs not HERS.

    Yikes. Kind of turned on, but I wonder if it's just the gin and tonic talking
     
  21. not touching that... giggling
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.
  22. Oh go on jemmi
     
  23. momma says crazy is like a box of chocolates..
    and she says huh u, not that one honey...
     
  24. Crazy is as crazy does...erm.....or something....erm.

    Speak plainly jemmi :) x
     
  25. lol...
    i'm not touching that with a ten foot pole... giggling
     
    Amanda's bitch Sophie likes this.