So it begins

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  1. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Slave_Kris,

    Thanks!

    js
     
  2. snubbe86
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    snubbe86 Searching for Mistress

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    Yes your list is really good. :happy0158:
     
  3. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Another day dawns. I was tired last night so I was grateful that She did not want any attention. Once I had slept for 15 minutes or so, I was up to play, but knew better then disturbing Her.

    During the day I have the dull ache of sexual tension in the testicles. I remember the feeling from way back when, before I had learned to relieve myself. After putting the kids on the bus today I sat at the computer, all alone at home. My first inclination to to bring up some porn and take care of business; LOL that aint going to happen :) Sigh.

    One thing I have learned from this is how important to me it is that my Wife see me as a desirable sexual being. While I understand intellectually that Her saying 'no' is not a rejection of me, emotionally it does not click- I think the reason is that the logic is alien to men (or at least to me). If a woman said 'let's go' the answer is always 'yes' unless there is an outside reason. Not being in the mood is just not part of my oversexed makeup. This also explains why I am satisfied if I can just please her in bed.

    So, I have almost completed the laundry, still have the dishes to do, and a dozen other tasks. Beside work of course :) Another busy day.

    Back to work I go.

    js
     
  4. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    js you are soooooo not alone in this thinking process. It took many years after a failed marriage where my ex cheated on me may times only to reject me personally to get over this sense of rejection. Even in my current marriage when my wife was not in the mood for obvious reasons my thoughts digressed to the past. Obviously no comparison in any form it was none the less the make up of my mindset for some time.

    I also understand the need (even out of chastity) to please my wife in bed. I think this is why for me the chastity is good because it keeps me away from the porn, refocuses me on her when I feel that need, and if she is tired at least I can say it is all part of being kept for her. LOL

    Any rate keep up the journal, it looks like our thought patterns are similar at times.
     
  5. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Thanks!

    Absolutely. She will NEVER ask, so I have made it part of the bargain to ask every night. Now no one will say yes every night, so a 'No' is now 'part of the game'.
    In the past, I would wait till my needs were high, then ask; if rejected it had to be that I was lacking ... Not a good (or valid I know) mindset. At one point, She had said no so many times, I vowed to never ask again. Over a year later (yes, one year) She questioned our marriage foundation because I was not seeking her out. It took her almost a year to notice though.

    During that year, I decided to not permit myself to think sex - I constantly redirected my thoughts and sublimated the drive and it worked, BUT it was a bad thing and way to be. I was not happy.

    Now Chasity is our sexual game. It is a way of meeting my needs (She has to put some energy into it and respond to me), and Her needs (Sex, cuddling, conversation, service, attention, etc.). She is most pleased with the attention and service, and I have made it clear that all the services I am doing are related to the energy level I have while being locked up.
    I am hoping that it progresses beyond 'game' and becomes 'what we do'. Time shall tell.


    Thanks for reading and affirming!

    js
     
  6. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Well, some good news and some bad. The O-ring trick works - I can not pull out without detection.

    For the bad news, the Wife has been sick the last week so no playing at all.

    And the really bad news - yesterday I was writing the next part of my fiction and getting really turned on by it. Too turned on. I found that by shaking the cb-6k I could achieve orgasm. Not a great orgasm, but still a 6 on a 1-10 scale. I was not especially hard, it was more a genital area manipulation thing.

    So - I am in a funk. The whole point of this was to stay locked up (done!) and to prevent orgasms (not done).

    Since the Wife is pretty much a passive player in this, punishment for misbehaving is not a reality option.
    I was not completely erect in the tube, so POI's would not help. It is more a "it's been a month and I can cum when the winds blows" type of thing.

    I admit I am not completely satiated, I never am without intercourse, but I was physically satisfied yesterday.

    I am not happy and do not know what to do.

    Any advice is welcome.

    js
     
  7. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    Sounds like it really wasn't that great an O.. And as you said - you didn't get fully stiff - more like a semi - isn't that right? Not a lot different than a dribble.. Of course - I would make sure you wore your dribble in panties for the rest of the day.. An infraction - yes. But not the end of the world.
     
  8. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Thank you Miss D.

    I am less worried about my infraction, and more about the ability to do it.
    The point (in my mind) of the chastity was to have an inescapable (or at least inescapable without detection) device that prevented infractions - this way She has control.

    I am wondering if I can modify the device to actually prevent infractions (smaller and shorter tube perhaps).

    js
     
  9. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    For the last two days/nights, I have worn the cb6k with toilet paper stuffed into the end of the tube, effectively shorting the tube- I can just about fill the end part with tp when flaccid.

    A side effect is that I have not had a morning erection the last two days. I had expected that I would awaken at 6am or so in pain due to the lack of expansion room, but it seems that the lack of room has triggered the body to not become erect. This is most unexpected.
    Other possible factors: the O three days ago, an impending cold, mental agitation regarding the O, life stress (work and personal deadlines, family member in hospital, sick children, and more).

    So - IF I can truly wear a shorter tube version (more testing time will tell) .... I are an engineer (humor intended) - I found a source online for extruded acrylic sheets and tubes, and it looks like I can get what I need for about $40usd. I am thinking I can make a shorter tube version of the 6k without cutting the 6k itself (too expensive to play!), and most probably curve it down and in so that it is less visible, which would be another plus. The actual manufacturing will have to wait for at least a month due to time restraints (see stress above ). The difficult part will be the shaping of the tube- the acrylic will get soft under heat, but the tube must be smooth inside which makes bending difficult. I anticipate several attempts before I get it right. Closing the end of the tube and attaching it to the base will also be a technical challenge.

    Before I do this I will have to test to see if I can achieve an O while locked up with a shorter tube (tp the standard 6k).

    For anyone who wears a belt - is the tube diameter and length determined while flaccid, and does it prevent erections completely?

    js
     
  10. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Well, it has certainly been a while. Sorry!

    Mistress unlocked me and gave me a late Birthday present. :) She also took the time to tell me how weird me wanting to be locked up is. I guess I should be glad she is being honest, though I must admit I wish she felt differently.

    I found the lack of nighttime erections was health related- once I got over my cold, they came back. I am still thinking about a shorter and smaller tube. The local craft/home improvement/hardware stores do not carry acrylic tubes or sheets, so I may have to order it online. I am also considering metal, as I do not pass through metal detectors - if I travel or go to court, I could always switch out.

    Another odd thing - I found that after being covered for months, that I was sensitive in the extreme when I spent several days unlocked ( I did that because the CB6k had irritated a small spot that became a small open sore (ingrown hair I believe) and I wanted to give it a day or so to heal - which it did). That also has me looking at a smaller and thinner design which could be done if the CB was metal. So many plans, so little time!

    Thanks!
    js
     
  11. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    I am sorry it has been so long in posting.
    We had a death in the family, so things came to a stop. I did not want the device on for the funeral - too many people, too tight of suit pants.

    Now that things are settling down, I am looking to start up again. I have to approach my Wife and see what she thinks.

    I also cut the tube of the cb6000 down a bit, and made it shorter and angled down more. I cut a wedge out of the tube - maybe 1/4 of an inch or so on the wide side. I think the tube is about 1/2 inch shorter, but the big thing is that it angles into the testicles a bit more, which means it is not as erect - this is good as with pants on, the tube acts as a lever pushing things uncomfortably. This is more comfortable.
    I have to see how it goes tonight while sleeping. From my experiments, the shorter tube should limit the night time erection a bit - hopefully it will not be too uncomfortable.

    js
     
  12. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Things are quiet - I am still unlocked and life is vanilla.
    I am still working on modifying the cb-6k to be less escapable. The O-ring idea works BUT the size difference when I am flaccid makes it easy to fall off accidentally. I am trying a variation on that- the main premise is that the more I pull out, the tighter the o-ring becomes.

    On a different note, someone (female) asked "Why is it necessary for you to be locked up for you to treat me so well - why don't you do that all the time anyway?". I think I have an answer at last.

    Would you run up and down an empty field for several hours on a weekend, even though you are tired, push on until you are too exhausted to go any further, and even then try to go so more? And then do it all again next weekend? Most probably not. Unless you were involved in a game, like soccer/football. Then it is FUN! Run for hours, every weekend, more during the week; plan on how to do it better, think about it all the time.

    The same with chastity. I it is a game we play that I find fun. I am pushing myself to my limits, thinking how to perform on my side (please you in any way I can). I plan and push myself (get out of bed and get that coffee for you vs sleep 10 more minutes). Vacuum instead of playing video games.
    Just like a sport, it has it's benefits - sexual tension = more energy. More sexual contact as it is built into the game. it can be as fun as you like.
    Is it a game vs lifestyle? Well, I know I can remove the cb-6k in less then 30 seconds if I did not care about its condition after that. I have tools! What keeps it on is the overall fun as opposed to the short term discomfort.

    This is My answer, and your mileage WILL be different as you aint me :)

    js
     
  13. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Back in the , uhhh, saddle again.

    Well - I have been out of lockup for a while, and have been experimenting with fit and such on my own. I of course released myself to check things over and to have a quickie or two by myself :)

    So last night, I went into the bedroom to find a pile of my Wife's undies on the bed. I mentioned it to her and she said "Well, my drawer was empty, and I had to get these from the laundry basket. You used to do nice things for me ..." I replied "Well, you used to be in control with me locked up ...". Sooo, after so discussion ("I enjoy the game - being locked up, with you rating my efforts to please you. It is a challenge, it it fun, it makes me happy and give me energy and incentive to go over the top and to try to please you. Of all the games we can play, this is the most vanilla, and you sure do get a lot out of it. All you have to do is hold the key, and be demanding, unreasonably at times. Once a month release, unless for example, the sink has dishes in it when you come home. That should be a one week penalty. If I complain, another week. Have some fun with it and enjoy the benefits. Or not, and put your own underwear away - I do a lot anyway, more then most. If you want 'over the top' then play the game. ")

    She agreed and the game is afoot.

    Time will tell if she grows to like this or not.

    She then allowed me to pleasure her orally last night :)

    Now - oh god, the house is a mess and I have a lot of work to do. But perversely, I am looking forward to it.
    :manga_devil:

    js
     
  14. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Status report- still in the device but the key is available i.e. she has not bothered to hide it. Which worked out well as I needed to refine the device a bit more - I had to sand it down on the inside of the bottom of the tube to make a more gradual change - the ridge was digging into my skin and causing wounds.

    She does not want to know about any of this.

    I am also finding that the smallest KSD-G3 no longer digs into me as it did, and the extra friction and restriction of the tube (since it has a sharper angle) is preventing pullout. It also make it harder to get in.

    The O-ring idea is put aside for the moment as it was causing some pain on the penis head. So - half my mods have been reversed. Who would have thunk it would be so hard to get a proper fitting device!

    With the penis held in better, the device tends to sit tighter to my body - which results in a much more comfortable wearing.

    We are going away this weekend with the kids so she wants me out of the device until we return. A little extra self control will be needed during shower times :)

    js
     
  15. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Congrats on starting again... hope you have a good weekend and behave yourself! :sex007:
     
  16. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    LOL thanks MW- I will behave.

    In the shower this morning I discovered I could soap up and pull out. So back to the drawing board. So close yet ... It was time to remove it anyway for the weekend but I am still disappointed.

    Thanks!
    js
     
  17. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    So we are at it again. I removed some of the mods and am back to the O-ring again. I just have to be very careful whilst cleaning to not let it pull off.
    I know from before, that I could slip out, and then back in, and with effort, get the O-ring back on -a perfect escape, beside the CD still being attached to my family jewels. I could get the O-ring back on due to the opening at then end of the tube. Sooo - I covered that with screening (window screen, crazy glued on and the edges sanded. I am not thrilled with the effect while peeing, nor the inability to dry off well with q-tips after my shower, but that will stop the ability to use tools to put the O-ring back on. Yes, I am a device defeater - but only because I really want to be secure. So - Maybe this will be it? LOL - I have thought that many times before, but lets hope.

    Ok - so now I am locked up, and I purposed this to my wife. I need 250 points to earn a release. Tasks I perform earn a point. Tasks I fail to do loose a point (or more). Transgressions (like touching her inappropriately) loose points (10 for first time, 100 for a second, etc).
    I work at home, so assign me a lunchtime task before she leaves for work - if I do it I get a point, if not I loose two. I am responsible for keeping track.

    The point is to be able to earn one orgasm a month or so. An orgasm of any type costs 250 points. Perhaps different type of orgasms will cost different points.. (ie a handjob would be cheaper, 'normal' would be 250, a slow bj would be 400). Points are redeemable at her convenience; -50 points for being pushy or annoying.

    I am working out the details - the object is to keep me focused and motivated, and on the ball with the household tasks. It is far to east to kick back and let things pile up.

    js
     
  18. emsprisoner
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    emsprisoner Senior Member

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    Sounds like a fun game, I hope you both enjoy yourselves and that she starts to see the benefits of you under lock key even if the only kick she gets is more house work.
    :chores003:
     
  19. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Thanks! It is fun for me but she would rather not deal with it.

    She told me that she felt that she was not able to help at home (she works outside the home). I explained that I needed her help to get things done, and that I get overwhelmed with all the activities (two involved kids) and needed someone to help organize me - like a manager. And that is I got more efficient, then when she was home there would be time for her to do the things she wanted to do (projects, etc) and not be tied up with the chores that I could do. She hesitantly agreed to help.

    I have set 250 points for the release goal. I can earn about 8 points a day normally. I explained that she can award extra point for tasks - like ask me to get her something to drink from the local 7-11 at night, make her tea, etc.
    I also explained that I should have points deducted for misbehavior - flirting a bit to much with her friends, looking a bit to closely at a woman passing by, doing something that annoyed her, etc. She is not excited about that, though it would add a lot to the game. I told her that at 8 or so points a day, a one point penalty is a gentle reminder, that a 8 point penalty is a 'you better pay attention'.

    So how did I do yesterday? 4 points in total after penalties and issues. I self assigned a -1 penalty for misbehavior.

    All dishes done at night (sink empty) +1
    Dinner provided for all +1
    Coffee in bed in the AM +1
    Travel mug ready when she leaves +1
    Offer my services at bedtime +1
    Laundry done on Monday -1 as it is not finished yet
    Cat litter box emptied +1
    Pick up after dog in yard +1
    Lunchtime task -2 (did not finish)
    Vacuum upstairs and stairway +1
    Annoying Wife -1 (a little over the top with her friend)


    I will pick up the pace! The lunchtime task (vacuum the house) was too long and I could not finish - still, it was assigned so it counts as a -2 for not completing it. I mentioned that and she said she was not ready with a task when she left and hat was what came to mind. Today she had a more time reasonable task, so I will be able to get that done :)
    Got to finish the laundry today (lost 2 points there- would have been +1, but is -1 for not being folded and put away).

    Wish me luck!

    js
     
  20. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    And today - she took a point away from me - the first time she has done that, though I did ask.

    I left the alarm on this morning when I got up and went to get her coffee -it went back off while I was not in the room. I asked if I lost a point for that and she said "Yes the alarm was annoying so you lost a point for that. "

    :) Why am I so happy that she see fit to punish me? :)
     
  21. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Three days now - I am at 21 points. The list of things to do is growing which is good. 230 to go (please don't do the math! lol ). Just about the rate at which it should increase.
    I hope to get her input for more tasks and penalties to make this more fun (involving her more would make this more fun).

    js
     
  22. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    I am going to start a new thread 'on the point game'.

    For me specifically, I asked my wife to rate a list of 'things to do' (chores) from 1 to 5, with 1 being 'nice to be done' to 5 being 'can not be missed'. She did so :)
    I also explained to her that taking points away for silly or real things is part of the game. Last night, I was washing dishes and she came past and pointed out that one of them was not completely clean. "Thats's a point off for you" she said.
    I was shocked I guess, because she then looked at the look on my face and said 'well, you asked me to do that ..'. LOL My reaction had been 'surprise' then instant erotic reaction. :)

    js
     
  23. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    The task list has grown and I am making progress. Mid second week and I am at 28% of goal- but today and tomorrow I expect to accomplish many 'monthly' tasks (washing windows, etc) which will boost my percentage.

    I won't report points as the goal points increase to match the tasks - % makes more sense.

    js
     
  24. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Two weeks and mid second day and I am finally at 50%.

    That is the good news. The bad news is that the Wife is not really supportive of this.

    sigh.

    js
     
  25. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    And so it ends

    When she came to bed last night, I was not happy - she asked why and I told her I felt neglected.

    She got angry - so what do you want me to do? I calmly told her that I had told her - and that whenever I had tried to discuss it recently she had cut me off.

    Her reply -" I am just not interested in anything physical, I will do it if I have to but that is the way I am, that is the way I have always been. I am just not interested in sex."

    I got the key (had to cut the chain because the combo lock would not open) and am unlocked.

    I am not sure I can live without intimacy (and feeling rejected and like there is something wrong with me for wanting it). So it is time for me to think this through, perhaps with a counselor or marriage counselor.

    js
     
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