Snobbery about online relationships

I think people probably have more online relationships than they realise these days.
The rise of social media means it is far easier to stay in touch with people you might otherwise have drifted away from. I would say a number of my "real" friendships have evolved into online friendships just on account of people moving on with their lives. Does the fact that you may have once met someone or known them in the flesh make that any different to a friendship formed online?

The internet is a powerful tool, why limit yourself to what's on your doorstep?

 

Due to the nature of my job, I have always stayed away from any type of social media, etc.... So, in short, as a 54 year old, I never experienced a online relationship with anyone, and honestly wasn't sure if that was something I was actually capable of. Thanks to CM, this is truly the first time in my life I can say I believe I have made some real friends that I respect, cherish, value, and know strictly from my online interactions. For that I am grateful, as it has been a gratifying personal learning experience I will never forget. I hope, across the pond, at least for a moment, this will make Miss @L-u-c-y , smile and be at peace.

 

The beauty of an online relationship is that there is no pressure. It just develops. I have no interest in camming or the like, so any online relationship for me is going to be words-based. What happens, then, is an exchange of ideas and thoughts. It works. It brings happiness and satisfaction. That is more than enough.

 

An online relationship is a different dynamic, that's all.
No better or worse than any other type of relationship.
The relationship unfolds and develops in a different way, at a different pace, and the knowns/unknowns about each other are different at different stages.
I personally don't make any distinction. A relationship is a relationship, and each is unique in it's own right anyway. Online interactions are just one component any relationship. Sometimes a major one, sometimes not.

What I find interesting is how all of our relationships with each other are changing as the internet matures and online interactions proliferate.
Maybe it's just because I'm an old fart, but I remember when there simply was no public internet.
I remember how relationships were formed and developed with no online interactions whatsoever. There were certainly many disadvantages , but probably some advantages too, although they seem less obvious.
It's interesting to contrast with younger folks today who have never known an internet-free society, and for whom online interactions have always been a part of their lives.

 

Very good point. Just because something or somebody is different doesn’t make them wrong, or their relationship better or worse than your own. We All Need to learn Not to criticize people just because they don’t see things the same way that we do.

Good Point. Thanks for your post.

 

I think online relationships are misunderstood because they get associated with scams and blackmail.

But they can also feel very rewarding. They have there own challenges but because of the limitations you're encouraged to be more open and honest. If you can't learn to do this and share your feelings they can become one sided and fade away.

It's the simple things you discover you miss when things don't work out to.
I used to enjoy the early morning, late night greetings.

Not sure how long they can last. There is always the risk of one person wanting more or finding someone they can enjoy a real physical connection with.

 

Are they better or worse than real-life relationships? The question is probably irrelevant, since every relationship you will ever have takes place largely inside your head anyway. In some ways online relationships are superior, because you can interact with someone without the distraction of appearances or irritations. I can write to you and take the time to choose my words carefully and with deliberation. When I'm not in the mood to write, I don't have to. In many way, I feel I'm able to come across better in print than in person.

On the other side, you miss the subtle cues that we have developed as a species over millions of years. How many of us have been taken wrong, or mistaken the intent of another, because the irony or sarcasm of a comment is lost without the tone of voice or inflection needed? Emoji's help, but they are a pale shadow of a real wink or nod. I miss the ability to catch a whiff of perfume or the sound of a voice at times.

Ms Lucy is correct that in the same way you can have a connection with a long-dead author, texts or emails can also create the intimacy of a mind encountering a fellow traveler. It's just different. If you were to suggest fifty years ago that having a pen pal was not a 'real' relationship, you would have been laughed at. Changing the medium does not significantly change the message. We are social animals; any method we employ to reach out to others has to be good. The only caveat would be that a mix of methods is probably the best of all. Eating only one type of food is not good for you; so having only online relationships (or only dead authors) is probably not good either.

 

Online relationships may also serve as a lifeline for people in many ways. Maybe you have an illness or disability, or life is not working out well and you need to seek something out, or even just perhaps filling in the gaps of the day with conversation that you would never have with people for whatever reason.

 

I have never been introduced or interested in chastity (where devices are concerned) before joining this site 2 weeks ago. I saw a link, clicked on it and was interested from the first post I read. I spent the first bit of time trying to figure out why any man would want to wear a device. It seemed like there were 3 different places people were coming from (or not...). I felt that two were compelling in that they had "heart" behind them. They fell into one or more of my "swim lanes". I then was curious as to why a Domme would want to take the time managing another person's daily life? I mean, I have enough trouble worrying about me, why would I want to babysit somebody else? I found that the answer is absolutely beautiful and just about indescribable. I tried to once and it was ugly.

So here is how Online Relationships helped me. Over the past week, two gentlemen I have never met before just reached out to see how I was doing. Then we proceeded to have conversations that I would NEVER think about having in person. Thanks guys, for being braver than I. I have reached out and bounced questions off of multiple D's who have kindly replied with thoughtful answers. Thank You for your attention and guidance.

So about two weeks after signing on to CM, for my own reasons, I'm wearing a device. My first attempt was an absolute nightmare and I would have written the whole thing off if not for two guys that happened to decide to have a chat with someone they had never met before. Comically, I am pretty sure I still do NOT have it on correctly but I know that anyone here that cared to read up to this point would jump to help me get through this problem.

That is why this site and online relationships are so powerful. I appreciate you all very much.

 

I must admit I held very negative views regarding online subs be it chastity or otherwise. Following some conversation with an experienced on line key holder I decided to give it a go. I was wrong it was a brilliant experience without the internet I would be unable to experience what was a very intense and enjoyable time. Unfortunately it was ended by the lady due to my involvement with my BDSM mistress and CP mistress. She was aware I am a very active player but had not realised how friendly I am with both of them. We parted on good terms an enjoyable experience which has changed my view regarding on line play and will when the right person comes along return to it once again

 

Wow 87 ... that is an amazing & heartwarming story!

I love what these threads bring out - thanks one - thanks all.

 

I met my wife online, so I feel I have a somewhat unique perspective on this.

As was mentioned earlier, online relationships do have a different dynamic, but that doesn't make them any less real. I fell in love with my wife long before I heard her voice, smelled her hair, or felt her body against mine. I loved her mind, her personality, her soul before I had any physical connection with her, so I completely agree that they can feel real and deep.

However, meeting her in person, talking on the phone, actually sleeping together...all those things were amazing and rewarding in a way the online side wasn't. We are social animals and we crave physical contact and intimacy as much as emotional. I hadn't realized that before meeting her.

I don't judge or put down online relationships. If it works for you, good for you. Places like CM should be a no-judgement zone as much as possible. If we can't find support and acceptance here, where else can we go?

 

An online relationship ruined my marriage. My stupid H committed himself to an online KH so much that he refuses to so much as look in my direction because HER HIGHNESS won't let him. Idiot.

He locked himself up for her even though we bought the device together for us to use. He sent her all the keys. And when I try to get him to pay attention to me for a change the reply is always 'eh... not tonight... too busy... too tired...'.

I read someone's post about having three in a marriage. Well, whoever you are, don't kid yourself - it doesn't work. You end up hurting the one you promised to love because invariably the fantasy will outshine the reality. They're always better/younger/thinner/prettier/more dominant/less dominant and all that crap.

When a fantasy overtakes reality and you can't tell the two apart it's time to make a choice. My H has till the end of next week to decide, after which I'm walking.

Sorry to rain on your parade @Billus but your explanation is a cop-out for people who don't want to make an effort with their partner and go looking for easy solutions. Are you married? Have you tried finding out what your wife might like from you? What are her fantasies? Or is this all just about you satisfying yourself while pretending to serve someone else?
​

 

I could never be chaste/denied for a partner I had never experienced. How would I know what I was foregoing? Knowing how enjoyable my wife’s ass, throat and hot box are makes denial so much more intense. If others can enjoy being denied something they’ve never had, more power to them. It just wouldn’t work for me.

 

@Blue Moon, exactly. My H's excuse was that he was fantasising the whole thing. But he doesn't even know what she looks like - yet here is his wife (who apparently made him horny before) and he doesn't so much as look at her. Guess pixels taste better than me!

 

Sometimes people can't see or appreciate what is right in front of them , and a lot of the time just can't be bothered to make the effort ,
their loss , the grass is always greener on the other side , but in most cases it is not ,

 

@L-u-c-y, the biggest b*tch here is that I love the idiot.

 

In his case, the effort in real life became too much and he turned to a fantasy: chatrooms, exes, etc.

 

Ah sorry to hear that , in the long run it will be him who will loose out the most , virtual V reality no contest ,

 

@sissybitch I don't think he sees it this way. In his mind, it's all nice and neat - I'm an appendage to keep him fed and generally looked after and the KHs are for fun and worshipping.

Back in my day, we used to take stuff to confuse reality and fantasy like that...

 

I love this post!! I have an online, long distance relationship with my Mistress/gf @Destiny103181, she helped me through some of the darkest times of my life and I love her for that.

 

Hi LynX its a shame he thinks this way , without you and your support in looking after him and keeping him fed in the real world were would he be ? my guess would be hungry , dishevelled and alone with his fantasy ,
you are more important to him than I think he realises ,
I don't know you and I am not really best placed to advise you ,
However I do think he needs to be made to realise what he is doing to you and your marriage ,
From your posts it is clear to me that you love him and will possibly do almost or go along with anything he wants , if he were to only wake up and see it,
please think you are more than his servant , you are not just an appendage to his needs you are important , and desirable and can fulfil any on line fantasy he may have ,
just please find away to make him see it ,
Be strong and never lose sight of your true self
my thoughts and best wishes are with you ,