Single male vs married male views of chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, May 20, 2020.

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  1. L-u-c-y
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    #1 L-u-c-y, May 20, 2020
    Last edited: May 20, 2020
    When reading posts here I often notice the difference between posts by single males and married males.

    Single males are looking for a porn version of chastity with endless teasing and strap ones, constant degradation and humiliation, while married males have a more grounded view and just get on with the housework. : )

    I wonder if these males will ever find what they are looking for.

    Edit: I meant young single males
     
  2. Bear20
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    Bear20 Active member

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    I speak for myself, since my wife says I can. Being in Chastity now, later in life its much more enjoyable pleasing my wife/kh. Pleasing her is my greatest pleasure.
     
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  3. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    I don't know, Lucy. I am not married (divorced), and I don't think I fall into the "porn" category.

    Although, I do have a keyholder.
     
  4. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    Married, it into the porn aspect, use it for enjoyment and showing the wife respect and fidelity. Sure we play games and have a good time, but she is the boss and it does allow her control and final say. I do my chores no matter what, but this also allows for some additional leverage for her.
     
  5. L-u-c-y
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    I was really talking about younger single males. Some are addicted to femdom porn from a young age. Their only experiences of speaking to women is findoms on twitter.
     
  6. lrnck345
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    #6 lrnck345, May 20, 2020
    Last edited: May 21, 2020
    Personally, I would love the opportunity to dedicate myself to pleasing someone.... all the time... always....
    The one thing that has always given me the greatest pleasure is seeing my wife's eyes roll back in her head as she has an earth-shaking orgasm. Sadly, it's been a very long time....
     
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  7. neohumanity
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    Young single male here. I'm quite aware of what my role will be as the chastized bitch in the relationship. Chores, hard yard labor, ass beatings. Yes, pegging and whatnot is there too but that's more the reward for being a good slave.

    I'm signing my tall muscular self over to a goddess as patriarchal reparations and my home will be a strict matriarchal place of servitude.
     
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  8. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    @L-u-c-y: got it. I would agree with you. I think it is because of the overexposure to sex and porn on the internet and generally in our culture.

    Some of it could also be hormonal. Younger men tend to be "over revved" and many are also lacking in social sophistication. It is a dangerous combination of factors.
     
  9. L-u-c-y
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    What if she doesn't want to do beatings and peggings?
     
  10. neohumanity
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    We probably wouldn't have been compatible in the first place.

    I do love your point though. It's important for us men to drop our egos and agendas and give more power to women.
     
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  11. Clearstatic
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    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

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    Well. Deep down I fantasize about the porn version.

    But then I go and do the dishes, fold the laundry, change a poopy diaper and sit down with my exhausted wife and watch TV with her. Maybe I'll get lucky and get a little tease before bed.
     
  12. RC-Oz
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    I think the major difference here is that the young single men are looking at chastity and adding a relationship, whereas the older married men are coming from a long-term (and therefore presumably successful) marriage and adding chastity. The deep understanding and bonding is the foundation of these, without which the KH/sub dynamic won’t work as well.

    * I realise they’re not all subs, but I couldn’t think of a better term.
     
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  13. subcuckold
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    I'm married, and over time porn side leave room to pleasure my wife in every way but sexually
     
  14. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    Eh. That's exactly what L-u-c-y means. You have your vision that you expect your (future) female partner to fit into.
     
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  15. filltee
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    I was not a young man when weI first got into chastity play

    I think it has always been about her
    and more recently it is about her and my now acknowledged and developing sense of submission.

    My orgasms may laready be a thing of the past I don't know.. or want to know. and it seems erections are going the same way and I feel good about it all.
     
  16. Ma'at Rebekah
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    expectation is a two way street. being treated as a doormat or treating someone like a doormat are two sides of the same coin. we do the chores with our puck. they get done faster and leaves more time for sex. yes we expect him to please us and often. that does not mean that pleasure is exclusively ours. just we must be pleased and he catches what pleasure he can and he does. a one sided slave relationship which is often portrayed here is as much offensive to me as the porn generated male expections that are critcized here. i admit i am married and have been for a long time. i love my husband and wives dearly. we live in a xx dominated household but often what is said by what we assume is feminist driven fantasies that both xx's and xy's have bought into seem as extreme as the xy sexual fantasies of femdom sites designed for men. i begrudge no one their lifestyle but often the unrealistic sounding ones that are portrayed as real are hard to believe they will endure if they are in fact real at all.
    when people of any sexual identity or orientation bond in an open an honest relationship expectations tend to be tempered by considerations of others invovled otherwise they seldom endure. single people often have only their own disire driven expectations which most of us had with youth. the fortunate matured past the unrealistic selfish expectation of our ignorant past.
    not to miss the most important issue here is it is far easier to serve someone you love than to serve without love. i do enjoy reading about people here who love each other and are trying to work out a flr that both can enjoy. it is hard for xx's to go from doormat to dominant without making their spouse a doormat. i have great respect for those xx's that exert so much energy and consideration to accomplishing a lasting flr relationship. maybe we should forget the boys and their expectation and concentrate on encouraging the xx's find the lifestyle they so richly deserve on their terms.
     
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  17. L-u-c-y
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    What is a puck?
     
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  18. locked_top
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    I've thought about this some more, and I think there's a bit of a selection bias problem. What you are seeing here is the single males who haven't been able to find good partners. So the causality may run in the opposite directions---rather than being self-absorbed because they are single, they may be single because they are self-absorbed.

    And then sometimes we see married guys who are self-absorbed as well.
     
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  19. L-u-c-y
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    Another thing that crossed my mind, a vanilla male might have a fantasy of having a 3some with 2 women, but he knows it will probably never happen. People on these sites are obsessed with making their fantasies reality.
     
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  20. locked_top
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    It happens more frequently than you might think. But usually it's a one-off, so that the fantasy remains intact.
     
  21. PetLewis
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    I had the opportunity to have a 3-some about 15 years ago and, like a dumb bastard, turned it down - immediately regretted it.
    One of my few sexual regrets - I tend to try anything at least once these days.
     
  22. Blue00
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    Perhaps there is a selection bias at work. However, are we comparing young single males with similar aged married males? If not, I suspect there is a bit of maturation that continues as we age. That maturation allows us to better empathize and meet the needs of others.

    I have also been reading recently that as a man get into his 50’s, 60’s, and beyond, there is less emphasis on the penis and a growing interest in intimacy through other means such as service. Some of this may be related to a natural decline in the ability to perform, but much of it may have to do with the growing focus on one’s partner as children leave and jobs end. Of course the woman in the relationship is also maturing, so perhaps the expectations she has for the relationship also change over time.
     
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  23. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active member

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    abridge version : an xy that is well trained sexual property. not a slave. normally feminine in appearance but fully functional.
     
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  24. L-u-c-y
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    So a male sub, even more abridged version : )
     
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  25. subcuckold
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    Honestly for us was not a fantasy, we started several years ago with no knowledge of this world... gradually we try different things, learns every day something new... and we see that works perfectly for us
     
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