Should fantasies remain fantasies?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Jai, Sep 28, 2022.

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  1. Jai
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    Jai Member

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    For those who haven’t seen my introduction posts, I can work away from home for up to a month,and not long after introducing chastity to our lives my goddess requested I self lock when I’m away. I happily comply with her request and I enjoy the sensations that occur when I’m having little fantasies about her whilst I’m going about my day.


    I mentioned this to my goddess and she was not pleased as she thought I was fantasising about other women, and made me tell her about my fantasy, I tried to explain that if I told her and she did it, then it takes our relationship back to her satisfying me and introducing chastity was to make it about her pleasure. But I told her, it involved her making me edge,(which I had never done before), on her breasts and she would rub my cum into her nipples and then instruct me to suck them. Needless to say when I arrived home she carried out my fantasy. She really enjoyed watching me edge for her and now one of her favourite things is to make me edge a couple of times on to her cliterous before cleaning her. When I’m away at work I remove my device once a day for cleaning, so my goddess sometimes tells me the night before that I have to video call when I am cleaning myself and I have to edge for her before locking myself back up,sometimes my reward is she will tell me if she got her toys out and satisfied herself, which I really enjoy knowing I pleased her so well.


    But now my fantasy is no longer a fantasy but by telling, it has made my goddess explore a new area of gratification that she is really enjoying, and I have had to find new fantasies, all involving my goddess. We were chatting about this a couple of days ago and I thought it might make an interesting post. Whilst my goddess now understands that I feel telling her my fantasies make me feel that she is putting my desires before her own, even if she enjoys it. She has requested I tell her if she does something that is a fantasy, I agreed and also promised when she feels that she totally in control I will tell them to her so she can use them as rewards or punishments as she sees fit.


    But another interesting side topic that arose during our conversation was wether she would be happy and comfortable doing anything I fantasised about. I assured her she would, we have been lucky that after nearly 40 years we have always been likeminded in sexual preferences. I couldn’t imagine fantasising about something she wouldn’t be comfortable with, because for me a fantasy has to be something that could become reality.
     
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  2. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    You'll eventually figure this out. But it sounds like so far it's working well.

    I will offer one thing. Fantasies being lived out can be great and they can also be hell. By that I mean that in time you may find that your fantasies become more intense, and over time it'll become harder and harder to come up with new ones. And it'll become harder to live out ones that are more challenging.

    I mention this as I and several other folks I know have gone through this. And it's rough when you cannot find a way to get that more intense thrill.

    So please take your time and please enjoy where you are.

    I eventually found that simpler things became fun again. But it was rough for a bit as I was so lucky to do so many cool things.
     
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  3. Madam Darling
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    I can’t fantasize about going to Bali if I’ve never heard of Bali. At the same time, just because I go doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about it after returning home.

    Then I’d have a choice: should I fantasize about Bali again, or look for a new place I’ve never heard of before? No matter what, I’d only fantasize about going to places I really, really want to get to.

    You’re the one dreaming, she’s just buying you the tickets. That’s very, very nice of her. And I imagine she would really enjoy the trip, too, or she would politely decline with another suggestion.
     
  4. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I really like this. And it helps me understand why unlike many that I've made many of my fantasies happen.

    It's also why I have a hard time having new ones.

    So thank you as I've struggled with this quite a bit.
     
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  5. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    I’ve been watching Dahmer on Netflix, so I’ll start off by saying that not ALL fantasies should be turned into reality…

    However, for me I think living some of your fantasies can give you a better comfort in where you are now.

    As one example, i’ll read on here how some on want to be cuckolded or even made to suck cock for their wives. It’s a fantasy that drives them to feel a need to change their relationship. To cause what could be a problematic situation.
    Hence the number of ‘how do I change my wife’ posts.
    If the reality was that they’d been out and experienced those things before they settled down into their relationship would that be a desire? If they’d been with men prior; sucked cock, swallowed cum and bent over and been taken… would they still need this in their relationship now?
    Im not questioning those who actually get enjoyment of that, but those striving for it with a partner that has no interest? Why? If you wanted that than you should have made it happen or at least been honest about it from the offset (assuming it’s not something that’s developed). But if it did develop in that way it wouldn’t eat you up as you’d have been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

    So for me any fantasies I now have revolve around my wife. I know what I could have elsewhere and know that it’s not worth more than she gives me. I don’t fantasise about those things, they’re good memories.

    So I think you’d be in a better position for sampling your fantasy.
    As is somewhat detailed in the OP, you’re also in an even better position if you have a partner that is on the same level with your own fantasies
     
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  6. NotInUse
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    NotInUse Long term member

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    I don't know. I guess it depends on the individual and how they may cope or not with the fantasies being realised. My wife and I are now 9 months deep into a cuckold-like dynamic and we are thoroughly enjoying it. The strange thing is, that only a couple of elements of my fantasies are being played out at present and along with orgasm denial for myself (lots of edging though), I only have to think about us and our dynamic and I'm on horny-level 1 million.

    In the early days, I wasn't sure what I wanted from cuckolding. I thought I was sure but in hindsight, I was incredibly naive AND selfish. When we finally found "the one", I was wise and understanding enough to realise that I needed to let go and give the reins to my wife for her to direct and for me to just roll with it. We talk a LOT about the relationship and nothing is secret.

    As I said at the beginning, there are many elements of my earlier fantasies not being realised. Perhaps they will one day. Perhaps they won't. A lot of that is going depend on my wife's lover and how open to some things he is. Maybe fate is saying to me, "be happy with your lot". My lot is very exciting and perhaps this is as good as it gets. Anything more could spoil it.....or enhance it. Only time will tell.

    When we started out, I wanted my wife to take either a succession of lovers, ideally get into interracial cuckolding, have me in chastity, feminise me, humiliate me and peg me.....some or all in front of other men or a man. Today, I wear panties out of choice, I was shaving my genitals out of choice before I met my wife. My wife has a white lover of 9 months. She humiliates me about it in very small doses. We occasionally use chastity. We occasionally feminise me and we occasionally play with the strap-on. We do orgasm denial. So my fantasy of living with all these elements is being partially realised but as it's panning out, it's more exciting than I dared hope for at present.
     
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  7. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    I've have found that I personally over think the fantasies I have. On the rare occasions we got to fulfill any it never made it to what I was hoping for. Doesn't mean that I don't still have fantasies. just that I found out their more thrilling staying as a fantasy myself.
     
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  8. nikkel
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    nikkel Long term member

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    My Queen never allows me an orgasm in her presence but gives me permission to j/o at times while I'm home.. I asked her for a photo of her to look at as I did. She sent a fully clothed photo in regular street wear. I have never seen my Queen except fully dressed. I often tell my Queen about my fantasies ,like when I talk to much ,to shove a small bar of soap in my mouth. she thought it a good idea, and does it at times. After being whipped with her belt I mentioned the cable that joins a tv to the cable port would hurt much more .she loved that idea and doubles a cable over and loves the way I beg for no more ( see my photios) .I mentioned as a treat I'd love to lick the soles of her shoes . She likes having me do that, and often lifts a foot and pounds my face into the floor . I'm never allowed contact with her and licking her soles while holding her foot lovingly in my hands is a great reward . Every thing I have fantasized I told my Queen. she usually turns me down, but sometimes thinks it a good idea . She loves telling me to go to a muddy spot and shove my face in. then laughs and takes my photo. In winter she had me crawling in the snow naked and that too was my idea. ( no photos yet but this winter I'll post some) . carry a back pack of extra clothes in my car .. Oh she loves spending time beside streams in our nearby mountains . We often go to the blue bridge ,She used to take me into the forest ,and have me naked on my knees then whip me with a branch from a tree . she used the same branch as it still was wear she left it . I once suggested she fuck me with a dildo, she liked that idea ,but we don't have a dildo just yet. Another fantasy that she wanted to do was have a second sub cleaning with me and competing with each other . We didn't find a sub to her liking .She also said my idea to have a guy fuck me while she watched was an excellent idea . So many more things that could happen in the future . I keep these things in my mind knowing my Queen would enjoy them, it's up to me to set the stage .
    I haven't been with her for over a month ,and made butter tarts for her that I'm taking her this morning . I hope she whips me good . She has had the flu and isn't her usual self.. SO YES DO TELL YOUR OWNER YOUR FANTASIES ,YOU MAY GET WHAT YOU WISH FIOR
     
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  9. Jai
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    Jai Member

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    Spoke to my KH after your response, because like the edging fantasy had I not told her, she wouldn’t be having the fun she has, so told her about some of the other things I’ve fantasied about, her response was not to worry as she had already decided to something very similar. As I said I am very lucky that we are so like minded.
     
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