Should a sub in a FLR be allowed free access to the household finances?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BR_Saiph, Jan 15, 2021.

?

Daily Allowance Only For Sub

Poll closed Jan 18, 2021.
  1. yes - coffee money

    58.8%
  2. Hell no it's his money too

    41.2%
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  1. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    In clarification I currently control the finances and BR is currently in receipt of a weekly allowance, this has been the case for 20+ years. The $2 a day is really just a tightening of the reigns giving him less room to make decisions and needing to request for purchasing outside the daily $2. It is not completely a stretch for us to move in this direction. The excitement I experience from this is largely due to his panicked response.
     
  2. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i did bar work before i meet Mistress and got into lots of bother with money and spend to much and not have any left . i dont get no money now and i like it a lot better.
     
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  3. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    As long as you have the credit card on you for those emergency "real-life" situations, then this sounds as if it would be a fun idea. Domination and submission is as much in the mind as any physical thing (i.e. cage, etc.).

    Personally, I find that an accumulation of several small subservient acts has a far greater effect on my overall feeling of submission and obedience. Little and often !

    It sounds to me as if Mr BR is volunteering for a trial period, so that he can report back with his findings.

    :oops::rolleyes:
     
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  4. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Long term member

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    I actually pay all the bills and have full access to the money, but not a spender. My biggest vice is buying tools and those are really for our projects or to do things around the house. Most large expenditures are decided together, like cars and appliances. The big difference is her clothes allowance since she still has clients and must attend business meetings, she buys what she wants. Actually, she does buy my clothes, my outfits are mostly jeans, flannel shirts, and tee shirts. I will wear stuff till it falls apart, she hates that look.
     
  5. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Everyone's situation if different, but I think a better place (for any couple) to start to just be 100% honest on what you are spending your money on... and be 100% honest on how you feel about the money being spent.

    For example, I think it would be a bigger problem not communicating with your spouse about going to the bar with people rather than buying the products. I also, think it is important if there was established ways of handle money before a coupled walked into a FLR.

    Every situation is different, but to force a lifestyle change on someone that they are not ok with... really isn't a very good thing to do... expressing your opinion to your partner and compromising is probably the most health approach.
     
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  6. MrsBR_Saiph
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    Of course he is welcome to report back to me always. I take everything under consideration
     
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  7. BR_Saiph
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    We're similar. A couple needs to be in sync with their financial thinking and actions for this to work.
    I too am prone to fiddley gadget purchases, though not as much now that I spend most time thinking about and writing.
     
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  8. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    This is essentially how it works at our house. I make the money, and she controls it. I know if I purchase anything of significance, it will be questioned. So I don't, without asking.
     
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  9. Mojoman
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    You are so good to him. It's a beautiful thing !!:love:;)
     
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  10. winstonmacgregor
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    The answer is no but maybe you can open up a lemonade stand to make some under the table money so you can finance this 1 cup of coffee a day habit that you have. No more grifting her out of 2-3 dollars a day.
     
  11. BR_Saiph
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    Actually I'm not a perfect sub, I'd choose my Timmies coffee over the Mrs, most days. I'm only human.
    Would I save for a treat, or choose her over my basic caffeine primal needs at times, for sure!
    Sounds like you really enjoy your coffee!
     
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  12. BR_Saiph
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    @MrsBR_Saiph buys all my clothes too. If I were to shop for myself, it would be a fashion disaster. I've always been thankful to wear coveralls at work as it makes my daily dressing decisions simple.
     
  13. MrsBR_Saiph
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    Yes not a perfect sub seemingly in the hierarchy I rate somewhere below coffee. Lots of flaws here. I'm accepting applications for a new sub. Only those choose for an interview will be contacted.
     
  14. BR_Saiph
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    Any $ I make, no matter how, goes into the kitty. Anything to the contrary would defeat the purpose.
     
  15. BR_Saiph
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    Well, if your inbox wasn't already full of messages from hopefull grovelling sad souls, it will be now.
     
  16. MrsBR_Saiph
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    I should retract this as I was just being Funny. Not very funny if I am inundated with messages that I don't want and I certainly don't want to lead anyone on. I gotta say despite all his faults my BR is the best and the only one for me :love:. I accept being below the coffee. :rolleyes:
     
  17. BR_Saiph
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    My dear, if I were to choose otherwise all the time, it would detract from the significance of my choice when I do suffer for you.
    Those days when I stumble home barely able to see thru sleep deprived groggy exhausted eyes, donut in hand and blissful smile on face, ecstatic at the opportunity taken to place you above all else, even a Tim's coffee, will be so much more poignant.
    XO
     
  18. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    I follow this formula...

    Coffee=ability to work=paycheck=money for the wife=Happy Wife because we have money.

    I cannot perform my work without Coffee.

    Iso.
     
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  19. MrsBR_Saiph
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    Reasonable formula. He doesn't need your help to justify his hierarchy, I am a reasonable person.
     
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  20. Miss Liz
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    Here goes probably an unpopular opinion... I manage all of the household finances (including 2 small businesses) but my partner [long time FLR] has full access to all of the financial accounts, credit/debit cards, etc. He even makes more annually than I do (by about 25k). All that being said, the understanding is that I make all financial decisions/purchases over a preset amount. I take his opinions into consideration but I ultimately make the final decision on 99.9% of purchases. So yes, he has full access to money but understands that it isn't his to spend past the dollar limit that I have set which is way more than a cup of coffee ;).
     
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  21. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    There are as many ways to do an FLR as there are couples.
     
  22. jojo-abc
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    Should a sub in a FLR be allowed free access to the household finances?

    - Yes. :)

    (But every FLR/femdom marriage is different. It is a matter of mutual agreement.)
     
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  23. BR_Saiph
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    Similar to us. Sure I can see/have access to everything, but I don't make purchases of any significance without prior approval.
    Nothing wrong with having your sub involved to help advise in life. After all, as much as we all enjoy this lifestyle, a man must first and foremost support his woman / family and all they cherish. That means whatever it means to give his lady the support she needs as a woman and partner in life.
     
  24. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Who the heck has time to buy coffee when there is house work to be done?

    The foundation of our relationship is a very successful partnership. That includes finances.
     
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  25. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    So. My wife has very little control over the day to day finances. She is more macro. Her focus and passion is homeschooling and our children. Anything that detracts from her passion is delegated to me, with in reason. (I'm lucky she participates in my kinky antics)

    So for her to control every penny down to making me ask for something over two dollars would irritate her to no end. She has delegated finances to me, because I'm good at it and if she took on that responsibility it would just be one more thing hanging over head in her already hectic schedule.

    Is she completely blind to our finances? No. She knows what she where we spend money. We talk about large purchases and plan different expenditures.

    I'm basically her money manager. She tells me I want to plan a vacation, we figure up the cost and I run the numbers and see if it's something we can do or not.

    I don't know if any of that makes sense or if it's completely contradictory to FLR. But it's how we do it.
     
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