For the first time in 4 1/2 years my wife said NO when I asked her to unlock me before I went out for a few hours. She did this despite knowing that it was very uncomfortable for me to do what I was going to do locked up. Last night she said she regrets letting me Orgasm two weeks ago as I seem to be a different and moody person and she has to rethink my orgasm schedule. I am reminded of myself and lots of guys who come here complaining or asking about their wives who do not want to be their Key Holder. There is hope and there may be more than you hoped for. I am finding that out the hard way. I now wake up thinking if I really want to keep going at this when before I used to wake up hoping that my wife would want to keep going at this. Somewhere along the line I lost all say and control.
I would be furious if Ian ever asked to be unlocked, whatever the circumstances. That is my decision, and only my decision. To be fair, he has never ever asked and I can't imagine he ever will. You don't make clear whether you would be physically uncomfortable or mentally uncomfortable. If I felt there's a physical need to unlock I would do that unbidden, but no way is feeling awkward about it any reason for unlocking. Isn't the phrase "topping from the bottom"? Jane
When we started she asked me to never asked to be unlocked unless it was a medical or grooming issue. I am free to tell her how I'm feeling, in fact encouraged to, but that's it. If she was going to hold the key, a condition was to never ask. Lately she has let me out longer than the few seconds it takes for me to cum, even a day or two, but last time she made no bones about me not being "myself " and told me to lock up. She probably knows best. Like vinny though, if there were a real issue, she would never make me stay locked.
Mine was a grooming issue. Since my surprise Prostate exam, I do not lock up for doctor visits. At my age, Prostate screening is important. half of the guys I know have Prostate cancer. Luckily in many cases it is a slow growing type that would not have serious consequences until after your life expectancy. The only other time I will be unlocked will be dental visits. I once felt pain but I was laying in the chair and unable to adjust myself so I had to endure it for half an hour. Basically it is only release for medical reasons. However, I will be able to take a key in a sealed envelope and signed by my wife so that if I open it she will know. Quite frankly, I will not masturbate if unlocked and certainly not outside of my home in some public restroom. The being locked was not really the interesting part. The fact that I forgot I was locked was. After wearing this thing for so long, it is as noticeable as my wedding ring. If I think about it, I feel it. Otherwise I do not think of it. That is scary.
Over the years my wife has slowly become more and more strict to the point where I know I have no say in when I'm unlocked...which nowadays is once a year if I'm lucky Love my wife so much xx
I read posts from newcomers to chastity where the wife is not that into it and smile. I remember when my wife was not interested in it at all and it took 3 attempts to get her to try. I remember when she called sex without my orgasm, fake sex. Long before Trump utters fake news. I remember when it was I who tried to stop my wife from giving me an orgasm. Most of all I remember when I would be unlocked on the flimsiest excuse. Times have changed.
The wife to key holder change is something that has certainly occurred in our relationship. D was only mildly interested for the first 6 months, letting me out whenever I asked. Now many years down the track, permission to be unlocked is never allowed unless it is given by D. Our status is permanent, orgasms are forbidden, milking is done very rarely maybe every 6 months. When the Loris #5A is unlocked is for air travel only and a plastic device is locked on and then unlocked on return to have the Loris installed. At no time am I permitted to make any contact with her penis, often restraints are fitted to make sure. I now wouldn't have it any other way.
I absolutely agree with you. He knows better than to ask. Ever. He has tried it before and I was not a happy camper and the answer is now and will always be a very firm no. We agreed that he would not even mention it and I hate it when a man can't keep his word. I always keep mine.
Either physically or mentally. She loves me and cares about my wellbeing. I am on medication for both conditions so she has to be careful about how she handles me. After decades of BDSM play one thing I learned was that the sub has all the power. The domme is limited to doing only those things that the sub consents to and the sub can withdraw that consent at any time and use a safeword, if playing safe and sane, to stop whatever the domme is doing. Subs are just getting what they want. They define the limits of the play, not the domme. Having been both a dom and sub, I always preferred being a sub because I felt more in control. As a dom I was limited to what my sub would allow and that did not allow me to do what I wanted to do to them. I had one girl who had limits that eliminated most of the things I like to do. I turned her down but someone else dominated her. I stopped domming a long time ago. I rather be the one setting what is allowed and not allowed. Just the way we have been doing fetishes for the last few decades so that they are fun and pleasurable for both of us. We assume roles rather than really change who we are. It is sex play for us and we like to color outside the lines. Never met a sub would would accept anything that their domme would do. Good way to learn that is to try cutting off his nipples and see who really has control. I do like your strictness but for us it is not real, it is play. No less valid than anyone else's play. No rulebook means no rules. Anything goes. Thanks for the reply. I alway enjoy views from others. It makes me think more.