Sex Parties.. YEY or NEY?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress-M, Dec 2, 2021.

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  1. Mistress-M
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    So I just recently registered, became a member, was invited and have paid for a rather exclusive and apparently incredibly hedonistic sex party, for myself and @HerLittleBitch to attend.
    This will be our first sex party together and it seems we are not just jumping in the deep end.. rather diving in head first without a snorkel!
    My question is.. Who here has been to a sex party? What can we expect? And also how does it work with the sub/dom dynamic?
    Obviously my Little Bitch will in no way be aloud to touch or play with anyone else, unless of course I decide I would like him too! As for me I would love to melt into a pile of hot, sweaty and turned on bodies, writhing around me!
    Simply put I want him to watch me explore all my sexual fantasies and not be aloud to join in.
    Does anyone else have experience of doing this?
    Please share all your naughty sex party stories, I’m dying to know what I’ve let us both in for.
    M x
     
  2. HerLittleBitch
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    HerLittleBitch Under the spell of my loving @Mistress-M

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    For me, I’m wondering if anyone has been caged?

    I’m quite nervous about attending our first party, not knowing what to really expect, especially as probably not many people will be playing like us!

    I’m sure it will be very exciting once the nerves wear off! Whatever happens it will be a night to remember! x
     
  3. LockedPom
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    We've been to a few. First time just watch, chat, and if you feel like it, join in! It can be confronting, but also fun. After the first visit you'll be less nervous.
     
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  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    The idea sounds like sheer hell to me. I'm way too introverted for that. I agree with @LockedPom, take it steady first time around, watch and get your bearings, figure out how it works. Good luck
     
  5. starflyer
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    Not been to any, they are very hard to come by and get to know about, but i would love to attend one, not sure about wifey though ! But if she did she would want all the attention and there would be no playing for me, i would have to watch and learn.
     
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  6. HerLittleBitch
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    HerLittleBitch Under the spell of my loving @Mistress-M

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    Yeah, I’m pretty introverted too and get anxious sometimes as social events, so I’m am nervous as this is all of that and more! We want to try anyway as we’ve discussed and wanted to do this this for some time! Hopefully it’ll be alright on the night. Like everything we try, if it doesn’t work we’ll just shelve it and go. Wish us luck!
     
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  7. BlokeDenied
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    I wish you luck
     
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  8. Mistress-M
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    Thank you for the advice. We felt the same way, maybe just take it slow and see how we feel the first time. We are both excited but also very nervous. It’s been a fantasy of ours for sometime now. But I’m worried that the reality might not match up. Do you wear your cage to parties? My LB is worried he will be the only caged man there! M x
     
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  9. Mistress-M
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    Thank you. We will need it ;-) M x
     
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  10. Mistress-M
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    I think that’s how we plan on it going. But maybe just watch the first time round. M x
     
  11. Mistress-M
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    Thank you for the advice, hopefully we will enjoy it!! M x
     
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  12. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    I have attended a few swingers party in the past. Reality was no where close to the fantasy.
     
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  13. Mistress-M
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    I had a feeling that would be the case! I think it’s def fun to try these things though. Do you mind me asking if you are caged? If so did you go to the party caged and with a dom? M x
     
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  14. Maddie Mae
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    Hello M x

    First off, it is so nice to see another verified female join this platform. Welcome.

    The short answer to your question is "Yes", we have attended many of these type events and as you have anticipated, each of them were exciting and thrilling in their own way. However, our pervious adventures and background played a big part on our confidence level in participating in such a gathering. Without knowing our lifestyle experiences, much of which I would love to share with you, it might not make a lot of sense or seem unbelievable. To explain all of the pieces would create a message on this thread extremely long. If you would like, I am willing to detail our experiences through private messages or if you want, I could attempt to do it here. Maybe through a series of shorter posts. Your choice.

    Most of our "parties" have been hosted by our local private membership Adult Lifestyle Club (although we have attended a few house parties). In the fall of 2019, the ownership decided to hold its first BDSM/Kink night. It ended up being a mosh of BDSM, Cuckold Couples, Submissive Females, Submissive Males, CFNM, but was not limited to these categories. This first event was more of a testing the waters and fairly tame as attendees got to know and become more comfortable with each other. Subsequent meetings were much more active and open.

    I'm sure if you are attending an established event the basic rules of "no pressure" and "no means no" will apply. Take it at your own pace, respect your boundaries, but don't let the moment of spontaneity pass you by. You will know if it feels right.

    As I related to the first event above, yes PK (my husband) was in his device. Our club has a dress code (dress to impress) and he was in his suit and tie when we arrived. After about an hour and a half the atmosphere of the group seemed to become more relaxed. I instructed PK to go to the men's locker / shower room and remove his clothes, then return to my side in the main party room. That took the evening to a whole new level for both of us. Now keep in mind, PK has been and is still exposed on nude beaches and other adventures in public settings that are appropriate. Any feelings of anxiety by him have long been conquered. Follow your Keyholders lead. She knows what is good for you.

    I hope your adventure meets all your expectations and desires. Wishing you much fun and excitement.

    Maddie
     
  15. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    So for us, the first sex party we experienced after the chastity cage came into play was one that was organised by a well-known swinger.

    The topic of D/s and the associated chastity was not a problem, because the organiser of the party already knew that. For the couples present, it was mostly new.

    But they all had no problems with it, especially because I could serve the ladies present orally and with fisting.

    As for the sex of the keyholders.

    A sex party is always first of all an environment in which you know that sex is definitely desired. Whether you meet all the people there where you want to have sex with several is always a question of mood.

    Whether D/s can be included in the game is also a question of mood. Some people can't handle it at all, others want to experience it and others only become curious about it through personal conversation.

    We had the funny effect that at the end of the party, 9 of the 15 couples present started experimenting with chastity.

    And above all, a little proud, because the ladies found it extremely interesting how intensively I tried to achieve their orgasm and above all that my success rate was almost 100%.

    So you already realise that you may end up having to answer a lot of questions, you will certainly have sex with a lot of people, but possibly also your husband/slave ... has to answer questions.
     
  16. downlow
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    We've been to many swing parties and several clubs. Each one is unique, and even a club can be different on different nights because the people or the vibe was different.

    If you're expecting a "dive right in, naked people everywhere" -- that's not usually how it works. Usually they start slow with mingling and chatting and getting to know the people around you. At some point the host or hostess may welcome everyone, maybe set a few ground rules, and that's often the signal that the play rooms are open and let the fun begin. Often couples will then invite the people they've been chatting with to go to a room. Usually, in our experience, it's the women who approach the other women, and the guys tag along. Swinging and sex parties are typically matriarchal events. The women run the show.

    Once play (sex) begins many things can happen. Sometimes a "group" room emerges or is designated, and sometimes that happens and sometimes not, depends on the people there that night and the vibe.

    As for the chastity cage, I wouldn't worry. There's plenty of dick around and most people are 'you do you'. But let people know ASAP the deal because a couple that pairs off with you will naturally expect that the dude is 1) uncaged and 2) can get hard. It's a sex party after all. So just let them all know up front that only one of you will be playing - lots of bi-women won't mind that at all, but the hetro-only women may move along to the next couple.

    The advantage of going back to the same party over and over again is that people will get to know your deal, can adjust to it, and you'll attract people that are into it and you.

    This is where BDSM and Swinging overlap, and usually the two don't overlap. Swingers want sex, and that doesn't fit with lots of Kink lifestyles -- like a guy in chastity. I'd recommend taking it slow and just going as fast as you're comfortable. The chastity thing will be a downer for some, and a turn-on for others. Be up front and find your posse. Good luck!
     
  17. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    I was not caged at the time.
     
  18. Mistress-M
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    Maddie,
    Thank you so much for your wonderful and detailed message. It’s lovely to have another female to chat to on here and it would be great to share our experiences. My husband (@HerLittleBitch) and I have been living this lifestyle for a few years now and each day it gets better and better. We are becoming more adventurous as time goes on and making each other’s fantasies a reality (well at the very least trying them). I would love to hear more about your sex party experiences via a private message. I’ll send you a chat message now and if your ok with it feel free to follow me and I’ll follow you back. I would really love to hear all about your experiences with the parties.
    M xx
     
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  19. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I’ve been to many BDSM parties. I’ve been to a few men’s sex parties. And one sex party for anyone (straight, bi, gay).

    The BDSM parties usually were fun. They ranged from amazing to ok. The one mixed sex sex party I went to was ok. I had fun and played with another guy, a couple, and a fun gal. But the most fun were the men’s parties. The sex at those was very primal and if you’re a male and bi or gay and haven’t been to one you should go. I can’t describe them, but they’re different.
     
  20. Shaznste
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    We have been to parties and clubs. Always a good time
     
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  21. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    The easiest way to set expectations is to check with the hosts beforehand. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
     
  22. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    I have been to several different events in the past - with my first girlfriend as well as with my wife. Starting with wasteland in amsterdam, 3-4 more civilized fetish parties, several BDSM / Femdom oriented Parties / meeting where some people played and last but not least even 3 more common sexparties.

    In the end it only comes down to the two of you, what you expect and what you are comfortable with. If you trust the event / organizer / participants, but are unsure if you should give it a try - try it ! Just keep in mind that even if you go there you do not have to participate if you are not totally comfortable. And if you should be too uncomfortable just beeing there just say thankyou to the host, but that it is nothing for you and go.
    No harm done. And if they are not complete idiots they already know from experience that you can not know up to 100% how you might react to such an event until you have been really to one.

    So how are my own experiences...

    Wasteland: I have been physically there but have been more an outside observer, but participant. The showacts as far as you could see them have been great and the people I spoke with were good folk, but sorry to say I felt completely surrounded by freaks.^^

    The other fetish / latex parties in germany have been ok. I do not like to wear latex or such things to much, but people have been really ok and more civilized. Tjere has been also a play area, but not that much used and people did not mount each other whereever they wanted - especially in the center of the dance floor...^^

    Those somewhat smaller BDSM gathering have been more to my liking. Dresscode I am more comfortable with and while subs might be expected at some to help serve drinks etc. it is more like a munch where you can chat with each other. You should be comfortable though with watching others play - even should none of you want to participate in something (you do not have to). F.e to me participating i some sort of liht whipping or stripping naked might be ok, but everything I consider rather intimate would be out of the question.

    Last but not least those local vanilla sexparties: Mostly really nice folk and very understanding that new folk may need time.
    Our first party we attended while we still switched - we both participated and blended in quite well.
    The last two with my now wife we have been in a FLR and I was locked. Keeping in mind that it is a vanilla sexparty it might be wise to ask the host beforehand if it is ok if your husband would not participate or would even show up locked. That way we did not have any problems. One couple did not know how to deal with us and we gave each other some space. The other ones were just great. Just be aware that there might be quite some questions about your kind of relationship. ;)
     
  23. slvdanielle
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    slvdanielle Long term member

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    i am NEVER allowed any pleasure--as i have stated onec a month i am taken to a gay bar and ankles are secured to the floor and a collar is locked around my neck and a chain is attached and then secured to a bolt in the ceiling i spend from friday afternoon til sunday late morning offering my mouth to anyone who wishs to use me for their pleasure--Owner gives a dollar amount i must earn failure earns me a severe beating if i reach reach it the number of strokes are doubled always ending with my ass bleeding usually i cannot sit for several days everyone who attends has a great time fucking me and using my mouth as a urinal if offered a huge tip Owner will unlock my pussy for a violent rape
    slvdanielle
     
  24. Dana Fleming
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    Dana Fleming Junior Member

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    You gotten some great advice, I can't really add anything new. Just go and enjoy yourself.
     
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  25. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    @MrsBR_Saiph and I attended a 'Friday Night Fuckfest' this year which was just the name the hosts gave it. It was vanilla, but the hosts knew we were a hotwife couple and that I didn't play. We connected via a potential bull that actually never even showed up to the party. We basically went to another town, walked into a house full of strangers and had the best time ever!
    About 15 people attended, couples and singles men. During the chat and mingle stage @MrsBR_Saiph engaged in several conversations with other couples about how I only watched. They were all very accepting of it, and several women really liked our dynamic.
    I however was uncaged as we had never done a sex party before. We'd been to a massive house party full of swingers but it wasn't a good sexy vibe so we didn't stay long. So this one was our first real experience.
    Everyone went down to the basement living room at the appointed time and everyone stripped down naked at the same time and then started playing. It was a big orgy at times and also just twos and threes playing off to the side.
    I would kneel in front of @MrsBR_Saiph and touch her leg or hold her hand while she sat on the sofa playing, or I would stand near her and touch her somehow. The guys seemed ok with it, cuz they were after all getting fucked...
    A huge bonus for me was I was allowed to play with a lady who approached me. I didn't have sex, but I did get an amazing BJ (no cumming). That was a one-of gift from @MrsBR_Saiph and won't be repeated. She felt generous in the moment but she didn't really like me playing.
    So I can't speak to the bdsm style of sex party but I'd say go with your gut.
    Lifestyle people are generally accepting, but also if they are swingers then there had better be lots of cock available to keep the ladies happy so that no one is focused on one being out if the equation.
    Showing off the cage is something that only you two can decide based on your comfort level at the time. Discussing it during the drinks and chat stage would be good. Ultimately most people will likely accept you as you are. Some won't, but you can just steer clear of those ones.
    The women seemed to lead the show and the men followed, and it was all very chill.
    It was the most mind blowing thing to experience and I hope we can do it again.
    Good luck and enjoy!
     
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