1. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    Hubby and I practiced orgasm denial for many years before adding a chastity cage.

    At first, with orgasm denial I felt like I was giving a lot up. I liked making hubby cum. I liked having him "take" me. This new OD thing was confusing and I constantly felt guilty and unsure of myself. But after a while I became more comfortable denying hubby, and since then I'd have to say my sex life is far better than it ever was before OD. Even better than those heady newlywed days.

    This year we've taken things even further. Hubby's in a chastity cage 24/7, and is getting far fewer orgasms than before. Again there was a big adjustment. It took me a while to get comfortable leaving him locked up, without even an edge as a reward for pleasing me. I kind of miss all those orgasms I used to give him. But completely controlling his cock - not just the orgasms, but even the erections - is intoxicating. As good as I thought my sex Life was at the start of the year, it's even better now with strict chastity.

    There are still a few wrinkles to iron out, but overall I wouldn't choose to go back. I like having hubby locked too much.
     
  2. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    I think we are in a very similar place.

    Can you elaborate on the "wrinkles" you have to figure out?
     
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  3. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    They are mostly related to hubby's "drop" after an orgasm, which has pushed me towards allowing only one orgasm per month. I enjoy making hubby cum, and I think weekly was a perfect frequency for us. But monthly is growing on me, and perhaps over time I won't "miss" those lost orgasms.

    More importantly, I really like to feel hubby inside of me. I used to be able to tease him like that. In fact, it was one of my favorite techniques. And if I didn't stop in time and he had an orgasm, then that was fun too. But that's not compatible with these longer stretches of denial. A strap-on just isn't the same, and I'm not comfortable with numbing cream.

    However, monthly also has some advantages. Hubby's devotion/adoration/submission definitely deepens from that second week onwards. There's a level of connection and intimacy that was rare with weekly orgasms.

    I think in a perfect world I'd make hubby wait a month most of the time, and I'd sprinkle in bonus orgasms here and there when the whim struck me. But hubby's "drop" makes that a bit more complicated. Maybe we'll get better at minimizing the drop. Maybe I'll adjust my expectations and not mind the drop so much. Or maybe we'll stick with monthly orgasms.
     
  4. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    I am 100% certain that she sees it as an imrovment.
     
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  5. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    We seem to be having success avoiding the drop with monthly orgasms, locking back up immediately after, and frequent teasing. But it takes so long to experiment with different frequencies. Let us know how monthly works out and if you have success with minimizing or avoiding the drop.
     
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  6. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    I’ve been surprised how little sub drop I’ve had the last few months as we’ve dropped my frequency of orgasms down. My Wife still grants them usually about one every 10 days on average lately. She used to grant freedom for a week or so out of a month and we’d have a bunch of sex that week, but we started realizing after 3-4 orgasms is when my sub drop hit. We tried a few different release schedules for me, and it seems best if I’m only allowed 1-2 orgasms over 1-2 days maximum and I lock after any play time no matter what. I also notice a difference when she grants orgasms from piv vs handjobs, I stay more submissive when it’s from a hj, it helps me to think of piv as only for her orgasm.
    The last few months my wonderful Queen is viewing sex as meaning I provide her with oral and piv has dropped to about an average of 4-5 times a month. She’s also talking of dropping my orgasms down to 1-2 a month, she asked me how I would feel if she actually did that, I replied with “I would have to go along with it”.
    We’ve communicated about everything so far about expectations with trying this lifestyle this last 3.5 years, and it’s been a fun and amazing trip so far. No reason to not keep evolving with it right?
     
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  7. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    That combination also works very well for us. That's what I've used for a good chunk of this year. At first I had focused on the duration (increasing from one week to two weeks to a month), but I am starting to wonder if immediate relocking might be the more significant factor.

    I believe I need to reassert control very soon after hubby's orgasm. It's not totally natural because his submissiveness is at a low, as it my dominance. But if I force the issue then that puts us on a better path. I'm really curious to see if it works after two weeks. But that test will have to wait... I've got my heart set on making hubby wait at least until Christmas for his next orgasm.
     
  8. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    My wife refuses to compromise on her sexual desires (we average 2 orgasms a week for me). Any sub drop is generally handled with bondage. On the very rare occasions that is unsuccessful, she cures me on the spanking bench.
     
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  9. MWKN
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    MWKN New member

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    My wife has found that ruined orgasms are the best way to avoid the drop. Provided I have been good, I am ruined once a week or perhaps every two weeks. This used to involve some sort of restriction whereby I am unable to move my hands should I weaken and try and finish myself properly. But now a couple of years on I am fully trained to enjoy a ruin (frustratingly so most of the time).

    Once she discovered this, and the fact that there is almost zero drop she’s not looked back and I’ve only had 3 full orgasms this year. This approach allows us the intimacy of normal sex whenever she wants, with strictly no cumming for me. I’m never allowed to play with myself unless she supervises or tells me to.

    So it is now only ruined orgasms for me really. After a while you get very used to them and quite honestly can take the pleasure of intimacy without the subsequent change in libido or attitude usually associated with a full orgasm.
     
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  10. Deleted member 97201
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    Thank you for sharing. I see so many things from men and it’s nice to hear a women’s thoughts :) My wife likes controlling when I cum or touch my carrot but her nurse side kicks in regarding the cage.
     
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  11. SlaveBoy73
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    SlaveBoy73 Long term member

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    My dream is for my wife to be able to enjoy sex of some sort again. She has no desire since her health issues so only I have any desire. It’s lonely for me.
     
  12. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    I believe honestly not much has changed for my wife, the only thing that has changed is I can't satisfy myself anymore which I am happy about.
    I've devoted myself entirely to her
     
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  13. JuniorLeon
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    JuniorLeon Active member

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    Same here, I haven't masturbated by myself since caged, she did ask me once to masturbate while using her wand on herself that was hot
     
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  14. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    Maybe I missed it ... How do you answer the question?

    This has been an interesting thread BTW.
     
  15. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    I've heard others in this forum mention their partner asking / instructing them to masturbate. I can't imagine this happening with my wife because that's the reason she agreed to be my keyholder. She doesn't want me touching myself - EVER! And I don't want her pleasuring herself either because it's such a turn on for me to give her pleasure.

    I've learned that her handjobs are far more pleasurable than self-stimulation on my part; it's like the difference between filet mignon & hamburger. Since she only lets me out for cleaning and to please me, steak is the only choice on the menu! :p

    What would be really hot would be for her to give me the choice between masturbating or begging her to keep me locked up for another week with no guarantee of what would happen at the end of the week. I'd take the latter option every time! :+1:
     
  16. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Hmm, a caption in the making…
     
  17. Chloé Rian
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    Chloé Rian She's in control

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    We’re in the early stages of things but I’m generally allowed 1-2 orgasms a week right now and am locked up the rest of the time. She’s averaging 4-8 per week though.

    PIV still happens but if I’ve been locked up all week I can’t last more than a couple minutes inside her. It’s embarrassing for me but she’s enjoying controlling me like that. Once I get over that first orgasm then I can last much longer inside her if I’m allowed another round.

    This past weekend she let me out for a BJ & PIV and the initial teasing almost sent me over the edge. She had just the tip in her mouth for a few seconds as a tease, then pulled back and watched as I strained for 10-20 seconds before having a hands-free ruin. She thought that was “so fucking hot” so I think I’m in trouble…
     
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  18. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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  19. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    She loves being completely in charge of sex (and whatever else she wants to be in charge of). She has things exactly her way and is quite happy if I’m suffering a bit or a lot as she is receiving pleasure.
     
  20. Locked4QueenK
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    Locked4QueenK Locked4QueenK

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    Just getting ready for a business trip tonight and Queen was about to go to sleep. She rolled over, lifted her sleep mask, smiled with an sexy evil grin and told me to put on my cage saying it has been too long since I was locked for her. My Queen loves sex and initially said she enjoyed it too much to deny it. Now she loves my behavior and obedience as much as the sex. She also commented how she loves my oral skills when locked better than when unlocked. Be careful what you wish for.
     
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  21. Coffeeandcaged
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    Coffeeandcaged Active member

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    Our sex frequency has stayed the same as we don't have much time together during the week. MY chastity has evolved from on and off to being caged from Monday to Saturday. The weekend is our time to reconnect.
     
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  22. Pieterchaste
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    Pieterchaste Long term member

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    Our (PIV) sex frequency is quite low nowadays..

    my wife even felt bad for me that we don’t have sex for numerous times every week.
    She rather would cuddle, kiss and get back-rubs or be eaten-out.

    For me one of the reasons to be caged for longer periods. It’s the kink of being “high and horny” most of the time with no access to release.

    when we go to bed and cuddle a bit, just only that bit of affection is enough to get me a raging hard-on!
    Sex is what you make of it.. for me, having her in my arms, rubbing my inner thigh feels like sex already.
     
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  23. JuniorLeon
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    JuniorLeon Active member

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    We have the same amount of PIV a week to ten days, Miss Kitty still wants me to initiate PIV, although she loves to tease anytime of day. Cuddling plays a big part at nighttime and when we wake
     
  24. Jay.
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    Jay. Active member

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    My wife loves it. I've been wearing a PA device since 2015, my wife inspects my cock once a week, and if all is well its locked again. The hardest part initially was not having regular sex, I struggled but she introduced a strapon into the mix and we have more sex now than we did without the cage, ten fold increase.
    I won't lie I found it tough, but I got used to it and that is just how it is.
    We discussed wearing the cage the other day, she likes that I don't pester her about sex (the old way), she really digs the look of the cage, its an aesthetic thing for her and it really turns her on; plus being a PA I can't masturbate, she never liked me masturbating.
    Recently we introduced a prostate massager into the mix, which is cool it does take some pressure off. Overall, we're both happier with out sex life and family life also. Every night before sleep and in the morning she gives the boys a pat (balls). I don't think we'll be going back to old ways.
     
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