sex is for a woman's pleasure

Glad to see you writing, and I'm happy to hear you're feeling connection on a deeper level this time around. I remember you mentioning you both enjoy when you are 'dominant' with her. I am curious: is that based in primal desire, or an actual power exchange? Our natural anatomies certainly make it easy for you guys to fuck us more 'forcefully' than we can reciprocate (sorta ), so I am wondering how much primal urges come into play when someone doesn't identify as 'submissive'... I imagine that'd be confusing, considering they enjoy the former so much.

I can see why you'd say punishments are natural, but they do not exist in all FLRs. I wouldn't say I've ever sexually punished pet. When I've felt discipline was necessary, sex and touch was off the table entirely. I'm glad I've not had to do that often, as it's not something I enjoy. Now, physical play involving a bit of pain? That's a bit different... but I suppose that's (yet another) tomato/tomahto situation.

It's nice to see you care for her in 'regular' ways. Many people don't realize how much small gestures in the every day, mundane life can improve relationships. I'm glad to hear you do, and it's not something you're automatically tying into sex. I truly believe focusing on her pleasure and discovering new ways to do so will certainly set you on the right path towards making her... and subsequently, yourself... happy.

Must ask, since the line left Me curious: what did you mean by she might be accepting your feelings 'too much'?

Looking forward to your next updates.

 

You've chosen a provocative headline for sure, ineverknew.
So here is the little space in the WWW where you might find much approval, but out there in "the rest of the world"...?
Agree very much with breathe, and her lines: "how much small gestures in the every day, mundane life can improve relationships. I'm glad to hear you do, and it's not something you're automatically tying into sex."

So if it's about sex I prefer the blunt answer to the old question about "who wears the pants in a good relationship?"
And my answer allways will be: "especially at weekends: none!"

 

I think you and I have some similar thoughts. Though I would be more specific and say that orgasms are a pleasure best suited to women. Men should derive pleasure from bringing their partner to climax, otherwise it is just a dull and boring chore.

We are in our third year of chastity and we’ve reached the conclusion that men just aren’t biologically or psychologically designed for frequent orgasms, and the less frequent the better. The male sex drive is entirely dependent on NOT orgasming. Give a man an orgasm and he’s immediately disinterested in further sexual activity. Depending on age and health, this lack of sexual interest can last many hours to several days. Deny a man any form of orgasm, and he’s ready very eager to please his lady anytime as frequently as she wishes.

And psychologically, a man who is accustomed to orgasm has one directive: reach orgasm as quickly as possible. Get in her, thrust, and squirt as quickly as possible. Then it’s game over. But a man who is trained not to orgasm is psychologically much more able to please his lady. He is trained not to have his own orgasm as a goal (since there will be none for him), but instead to enjoy the excitement of pleasing his lady to whatever degree she pleases. He feels validated by knowing she is pleased, and she benefits from his psychological commitment to her pleasure via focused and dedicated sexual attention.

Sex as a concept is for both male and female, but the privilege and delight of orgasm is best suited to the woman.

 

I have gotten to the point where I can see and feel the difference in my attitudes, energy level, and emotional responses to life in general when I am allowed to orgasm freely, verses staying orgasm free. Never thought I would get to the point in life where I could say that I actually have a deep appreciation for the benefits I receive both personally and in my relationship with my Wife when I stay in a state of orgasm denial. Orgasms in our relationship are almost strictly for her now, and that truly is what works best for us.

 

I find now that I enjoy my wife's orgasms as much as she does, I get so much pleasure from seeing and feeling her cum that its out of this world. I would go so far as to say that as long as I get to make her cum I don't care if never cum myself again. I think a lot of us chaste males actually feel almost disappointed after we cum! Strange? I must admit it is a little confusing to me. I like the odd ruined orgasm but on balance being left frustrated is while Mrs Chaste is satisfied is the best feeling of all. Certainly keeps me focused on her and as Mrs Chaste says "it's all about me not you".

 

This sums up how I feel, I’ve been in chastity since the start of the month, I can’t believe how happy I feel when my wife has an orgasm knowing I will not get to cum until she decides the time is right!

 

This was a strange surprise for me as my wife kept pushing for longer lockups. I found that I was losing my bitterness about not getting to orgasm and actually enjoying hers more than I enjoyed mine. This also was a contributing factor in our realization that orgasms are for women and men are best off not having them. Since most of us men learned to masturbate (and therefore orgasm) from the onset of puberty and learned to do it frequently, it is hard at first to break that conditioning. But once you do, the entire dynamic of sexuality changes.

 

I do hope you all practise what you preach

 

I can also attest to the powerful compersion effect. Chastity training has rewired my sexuality such that her pleasure is paramount; I actually experience joy during and her orgasms.

 

Indeed we do. Not perfectly (two orgasms last year and one this year so far) but much closer to purely female only orgasm than before we started chastity.

 

lol!

Glad things are fun again. That is when you know chastity is worth it I think, but it does take some work and possibly multiple attempts for sure, which in a way makes the pay off all that much more sweet.

I think being locked does enhance my submissive nature as well. It sorta trickles in, slow and steady, and almost without being noticed. but then one day I found myself thinking I like being locked, as in I am totally comfortable in it, even when it is grabbing me like a slipknot. But more than that, the feeling of pure energy being contained within my own mind, while being submissive can be intensely pleasurable. It is exponentially enhanced by her observation of my obedience to her, which has only ever been with considerable positivity, and probably is further conditioning me to associate her pleasure with my submission.

What @sylvana chastity mentioned though regarding the context of where opinions like ours work I think is absolutely true, unfortunately. I mean, just look at the Washington monument...

 

It is. Buckle up.

 

wow what an amazing turnaround and progress! Awesome to hear. I'm sure I'll put together a more thoughtful reply when I have some time...

 

I also am 'disappointed' when allowed to cum. I still cum, mind you (!), but I do hate the sub-drop that occurs afterward. My Lady doesn't fully understand the phenomenon but she still uses it to her advantage by withholding orgasms.

The only thing I super hate about tease and denial is blue ball. I absolutely hate the discomfort, and I hate the pain. It dissipates if I'm allowed to cum later but otherwise it's 24 hours of discomfort and pain in the scrotum. I know some subs like that but not me.

It's strange because otherwise I'm a masochist and enjoy physical punishments. I will go full blown sub-mode in moments when being whipped or cropped and can handle quite a bit of that type of handling.

 

Their should be a Like, I Totally Agree, that's Exactully how I Feel Button. Because I would have pushed it many times after your post.

 

A very nice post. When I first read the title I wasn't sure, I'm glad I took the time to read it. I think a lot comes down to what your definition of Sex is. I personally Recieve a lot of pleasure giving my Wife pleasure. Even if it's something as simple as a foot rub I will close my eyes and let my fingers explore every part of her feet and toes, this can very easily make me wet and get stimulated but is this Sex.

I like your comment about putting gas in your wife's car. I wash my wife's car ( in the summer ) every morning wearing only my cage. She sometimes sits on the deck and watches me. To be nude and serving her in this way excites me also.

I think partly in society we have connected Sex and Pleasure to an Orgasm to much. To serve, be denied and kept on the edge is more pleasurable to me now than having an Orgasm. I would also much rather see my Wife have orgasms than to have one myself, this is just one of the ways life has changed since we've adopted the chastity lifestyle.

Looking forward to your continuation of your adventure.

 

Great post

It takes some time to wrap your mind around the idea of not wanting to cum. But when you do it's incredible

 

So many wonderful ideas floating around this place! I adore keeping him nude, but a naked car wash would be new and exciting.

(Consider yourself informed, @_and_smile!)

 

After about 6 months of being locked, I also experience an odd "depression" (for lack of better word) after orgasm these days. It's as if I'm being compelled in both directions. After being locked for a few days, I start to feel the desire to cum. And yet I know that afterwards, I won't like the feeling. Hard to explain.