I have struggled to understand self locking beyond the initial excitement of wearing a chastity device which we have all experienced. In various forums and Fetlife, I have not seen self lockers last long. They come and go quickly as the initial excitement wears off. I look at it like I looked at my brief stint as a sub to an online Mistress (who ended up being a guy fooling around). Being told what to do by someone you do not know and do not love, is not the same as all. You cannot whip yourself. You cannot humiliate yourself in front of your Mistress and in general, you end up wanting your online mistress to do all the things that you want to do to yourself, but feel better if you think you are doing them for someone else. I am trying to understand self locking other than wanting a fetish and having no one to do it with. Self locking to me will eliminate most if not all of the things I like about chastity with my wife like: - Power or control exchange to someone who can be there physically to make sure you do as you are told. - Give up my orgasms out of love or to a Mistress that I know and trust with a physical presence. - Being edged and physically teased - my number one reason for liking chastity. - the feeling of anticipation of an orgasm which I have absolutely no control over. - Making love and focusing only on the pleasure of your lover. - Performing oral sex on command without getting anything in return. - Having someone to acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifice I make every day. - To get an orgasm when you least expect it. - To get pegged, spanked, whipped or any other physical punishment or pleasure. - To be humiliated, shamed, praised, make laugh, excite or many other things to someone physically playing with you. There is more but these are the ones that come easier to mind. So the question is what do you get out of self locking when you are your own jailkeeper and can let yourself out anytime you want to? I do not want to hear about not having an emergency key because that is a red flag to me of fantasy play and not a real chastity player or at least one I would want to know. The problem I have is not understanding what anyone would get from self locking other than the initial excitement of wearing a device. We all know we can orgasm with or without locking up so we do it for our keyholders pleasure, the power exchange or the exquisite feeling of being edged over and over again or otherwise teased. I imagine a self locker can do it to intensify his orgasm, much like in tantric sex but I hardly ever hear that as a reason. I also do not understand why guys on fetlife are asking total strangers to determine how long they should wait before they unlock and/or give themselves an orgasm. I suspect they are just trolling to see how many responses they get. Personally I would not forgo orgasms for strangers. I keep trying to wrap my head around it since I am always reminded that solo S&M is just not nearly close to being sexually tortured by a Mistress physically doing it. I have tried that and it is exciting for a little while but most times I stopped when I wanted to and no one was there to push me further than I wanted to do it. Please note that I am not saying self locking is invalid. It is just different and I am trying to understand: - what is the attraction/excitement? - if it is for masturbation control, how useful is it really when you can make yourself orgasm even when locked up and have access to at least one key? In my opinion, if you lack self control, you will also lack it when locked with or without a KH. - If to increase the intensity of your eventual orgasm, how long would that be. I know before I got married I would edge myself an put off masturbation for a few days to have a very intense one but why wear a cage that interferes with peeing and other activities in my life. I am not putting anyone down. I have done things that most will think are weird or disgusting that others will not understand. So I am not casting stones, just genuinely interested in why, because my interest in chastity has a lot to do with having a loving key holder. Without my wife or our girlfriend, I would never forgo my orgasms otherwise. That is why I cannot wrap my head around self locking and why it seems to be focused so much on just wearing the device, which i completely understand since most of use got hard just trying to put it on. However, after a few weeks that excitement when away.