I am sure this is a cliché post but I just need to get it out and get opinions. My wife isn't into kink or the things I'm into. usually when I get home from work, I will put an incontinence pad in my underwear (panties) because I like the thrill of wearing without others people knowing. (diaper fetish) I have always wanted to get a cheap Chinese cage and put it on when I get home for the night for the same reason. my hopes would be to come up with a plan like leaving the key in a place where I would get caught if I were to try to get it. I am fairly certain I would be really horny and want to take care of myself before bed but wouldn't be able to. (she goes to bed before me) Kind of like a denial without her knowing. I would be able to get the key in the morning when she's in the bathroom. I have had the chastity conversation with her before. She isn't into it but she doesn't want to dissown me. I feel like she understands it but doesn't want to be a part of it. does my idea sound out of control? I'm sure it's the horniness talking also. does anyone else like the thrill of doing things in front of others without them knowing? If so, please share. Maybe there are better ideas.
The problem with self locking is that once the thrill is gone, and that happens quickly, it is no fun anymore, just denying yourself an orgasm which you can do unlocked. Heck, you can easily masturbate locked up too. If I may suggest something that worked for me. Unlike many, I did not show up locked in a hunk of plastic. I talked to my wife about Tantric sex where my orgasm would be more intense if she denied me just the next time we had sex. We still have sex but only she cums. So we did that and the next time we had sex I was super sensitive and aroused. When I orgasmed it was fantastic but I added a little acting to make it seem even better. So we went along like that and then I wondered how it would feel if I skipped two orgasms. I think you get the picture. We were not doing Chastity play we were doing Tantric or teasing and denial sex. Nothing for my wife to do other than not give me an orgams once in a while. No scary devices. My wife grew to enjoy the show I put on for her after I was denied a few times. I also was so aroused all the time that I made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world. I would casually mention that it is weird that I feel better when I am denied. In other words, I was using conditioning and rewards to get her used to denying me. Once we wanted to go three weeks, I told my wife that I did not think the honor system would work and they sell chastity devices that prevent me from masturbating. I showed her the CB6000 online and she told me if I wanted it to buy it. I did and I spent the first few weeks getting used to it and finding the right fit. At first my wife held the key but that is all she did. She would get into bed for sex and ask me why I was still locked up. She had the keys. She called sex without my orgasm, fake sex for months. It is a matter of changing her feelings that your orgasm is a measure of her desirability. She began to see that I was happier when she denied me. I did subtle things like thanking her after sex when she denied me but not doing so if she made me orgasm. It is just a matter of Psychological conditioning. Reward the behavior you want. I have done this to get a few women into fetishes that I had. I took baby steps, moving on to more only after they are comfortable with what we are doing now. I did not go from being blindfolded to being whipped raw. There were a lot of little steps over months, that got my ex girlfriend into S&M. Try approaching your wife about wanting to increase the intensity of your orgasms. Also if you get the device, do not give her a list of things to do to you. My wife got very confused and we just left it at she makes the rules and doesn't have to tell me about them. You have to make it easy on your wife and get her used to the idea before you lock it up.
Go for it. Doing things without anyone knowing is absolutely a thrill. The first time I wore the cage in public it was indeed an exciting experience. Doing this all on your own will probably make it short lived, but who cares? You're not hurting anyone. Life is short.
I started in exactly the same situation as you. I used a key safe that I'd fitted a count-down timer to so I could only unlock it in the morning.