self abstinence

Chasity without using a cage is more common than you might expect. Your reaction to the emotional swings before and after climax, are also fairly common. I say if you find it works for you, go with it. Good luck and enjoy.

 

If you get to the point where you don't think you can wait any longer... Go do something to take your mind off whatever. If you do something that involves muscle memory, it is more effect.

 

Thanks for sharing, I think a lot of us have had the same feelings, weather using a cage or not.

 

ive gone 5 weecks of denial without a cage got myself a cage a few days ago but could only wear it fer two days it made me very sore around the bottom of the cockring ive orderd a larger ring 45 mm as aposed to a 40 mm and im hoping this will be more comfatuble .

 

I understand totally. I was a rather shy and controlled young boy who discovered masturbation quite early on. I masturbated frequently and soon discovered that being interrupted by my Mother when I was busy stroking away by myself and then being forced to stop before a needed ejaculation. This often left me irritable and cranky for the rest of the day because finding time alone in our small house was almost impossible. For some reason I started the habit of suddenly stopping stroking and "requiring" myself to simply put him away. I knew I would be left terribly horny and possibly not have privacy to finish that day. Usually leading to further punishments from my Mother.

 

If you enjoy it, than go for it, with cage or without. But better try to get locked, back in the day when I just started to get into chastity, I would probably ruin everything and go back to masturbation if I wouldn't be caged. Even now long terms are hard to handle though I'm locked.

While ruined or prostate orgasm only frustrates for a relatively short time, losing your chastity to a full orgasm will take days or even weeks to recover.

I haven't jerked off for a year myself and hope I won't ever go back to it. Too much of a waste of time, energy and makes me feel no need and arousal like I've used to.

 

well done - 32 days is a decent effort. You'll find your not unusual in this. Lots of people deny themselves in this way. It's a good challenge.

 

@Hairybear yes you did do good cos you new and what @King Hippo sayed to you is very good as well and that will help you not to do it no more.

 

Masturbation is a natural, human act, and an emotional and physical release.

To go without release is choice, and a challenge for many.

I'm frequently abroad, with travel a constant fact of life. Continuous wear is impractical, and impossible with daily trips through security screening in foreign locales.

Any abstinence is strictly on the honor system, and should I carry, or wear a cage, the key must remain with me.

I find that while I can make a decision to wear a cage, or to abstain, it feels hollow and pointless. If my wife directs either, I find the act has meaning. Masturbation, for me, is unfulfilling. A moment of release, a sense of harsh reality, and then it's gone. Sex, conversely, is quite fulfilling. If I masturbate, the need is unfulfilled shortly thereafter, and no amount will fix that. If I make love to my wife, I am affected much differently. That connection is a massive difference. Likewise, I am wearing a cage right now, and have been all week. My wife doesn't particularly care either way, so this was my choice. It's not doing a lot for me. When my wife decrees that there will be no release, no masturbation, no touching, then the feeling is completely different. Even if directed to masturbate, told to do it, the degree of meaningfulness is changed by an order of magnitude, from a solo act.

A solo act is a bit like cheating. A male, my mind runs in small circles, its course revolving around sex. I'm a pig. I try to be altruistic, but I'm weak, I'm small. I am my dick. My wife can take sex or leave it. She thinks larger, is unencumbered. She is not a prisoner. I am. Whether in a physical cage, or simply a prisoner to my own sexuality, I can be run, and I can be controlled, and I am behind the bars of a cell that is a physical part of me, that is me. Cage or no cage, my wife is the key. To masturbate is to cheat, and my monkey brain longs to hear her tell me that. I am an adult, strange that I want, need, to be told no. To be told when I can touch my own body, or what I can make it do. We rally for women to have choice over their body, and yet we rally to surrender choice over our own.

If I masturbate, the act matters a lot more to me, than my wife. I want it to matter to her. I want her to say 'no,' that I'm married, that any release is for her, and only she should decide. I want that, for it to matter to her, but I know that she doesn't care. I could jerk off all day long, and so long as I be the husband I'm expected, and do as I should, listen, devotion, support, then she doesn't care whether I go with, or without. it's my own selfishness: I want her to care. I want to matter. Her denial, her denying my choice, tells me that I matter, and that is an immeasurable reward.

It's childish, I know. Grown men begging women to deny them. Please, dominate me. Please, control me. Please tell me what I can do with my own penis. How is must diminish us in the eyes of women. Who juvenile they must think we are. I am. How small it must make me seem. How immature, how weak. And of course, she would be right. She is right.

Doesn't stop me from wanting it. Or needing it.

To refrain on one's own is hard. To achieve the same level of fulfillment difficult. Do women really know how much we are in their debt when they throw us a bone and say "no," or humiliate us, or do all those silly, childish things that as. boy that never grew up (and never will), I desperately need her to do?

Last night, my wife said I should have married someone else, a person who understood this. She wished I'd revealed these things before we were married. I didn't realize these things before we were married. A sexual amoeba, I evolve. Every so slowly, I evolve.

 

Is a desire to be dominated or subjected to denial childish? It is your sexual predilection. Is it more childish than a person who craves to held gently and told sweet nothings after sex?

It sounds like you have a boatload of shame about your sexual desires. It also sounds like you and your wife aren't able to empathize with one another.

I can relate to your conversation last night. My wife asked me recently if I had any more "bombshells" I was waiting to drop. I imagine she would have had misgivings about marrying me if I had these revelations before the nuptials.

 

I'm not ashamed of anything. I don't particularly care what it sounds like.

I had the same conversation with my wife last night. I didn't hide anything entering the marriage. I don't want, nor need her to be a dominatrix.

What explorations and evolutions may be now, were not things I considered at the time we married. The concept of FLR and associated deviations and directions have been more recent discoveries, some of which sounded like the call home to a place I'd never been.

The negotiation goes on.