Security vs. promise

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by JJ MM, Jan 15, 2018.

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  1. JJ MM
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    JJ MM Member

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    Hello all, this is something I’ve been seeing, that I think most keyholders are misunderstanding.

    Whenever I see a new device that’s promised to be near inescapable or cheat-proof, I come to CM to see what people think of it. Usually the conversation starts with some guy asking if it’s really all that secure and whether it’s comfortable. There will be a few replies with yea’s or nay’s, but then there’s a key holder that will write a post about how true security is in your head, and how true chastity is about keeping a promise to your keyholder, because no device is 100% inescapable.

    While this is true, I think those keyholders are missing the point of wanting an “inescapable” device.

    We don’t want a cheat-proof device because we’re worried about cheating. It’s all about the head space. The more secure a device is, the more powerless and controlled we feel, which is the feeling we crave. The more secure a device is, the more nurtured and loved we feel when we actually get a release, because we know we can’t get it ourselves.

    Anti-pullouts, when they work, are wonderful. Because I am never willing to put myself through pain TWICE to shoot a load.
    I see anti-pullouts and secure belts as the keyholder keeping me all for herself. “Isn’t that the point of all chastity?” you ask.
    Yes! But if I know in my head how easy it is to escape, even though I don’t want to, and don’t, it isn’t as powerful.

    A secure device, isn’t about not cheating as much as KNOWING and feeling you can’t.

    Do other guys feel this same way?
     
  2. Lockeduplover121
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    I must say I got pierced for this very reason. Knowing I could pull out made it feel like a game than true lock down. I never have pulled out other than to show my wife it was possible. Here in a few days I'll be locked via my piercing. I don't know about others but I'm not ripping my piercing out just to get out .
    The headspace has a huge impact on my behavior. We have done both caged and honor system. On the honor system I feel like I'm just doing it for her. Really there's nothing preventing me but myself. The feeling gets better with a cage but I still know if I got desperate I could pull out. Won't be an option soon! And I'm excited to see how it feels.
     
  3. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    I would agree with you that high security devices are very powerful in the mind of the wearer. It makes the unlocking and release much more powerful almost ceremonial to us guys. My ball trap device is fairly secure except my balls like to hang down by about the middle of the day through the end of the night. At this point my device isn't secure and serves nearly as a symbolic reminder of my position. Now if I get hard, it's impossible to get out of so in the end I look at my current device as kind of a hybrid tool. What I mean is I know I can get out if I really wanted too so I have to exercise self control. When I get a hard on is when I'm most vulnerable to giving in and masturbating. But if I'm wearing my device and get hard There's no way for me to get it out. By the time my erection goes away my self control kicks back in and I can avoid making a mistake.

    Personally I'd love to get pierced and make it as secure as possible but my mistress is hesitant about it because she's unsure if she'll like the look or the feel. Currently I've been unlocked for almost 2 weeks which is the longest I've been out for months. I was locked 24/7 from September to the beginning of January and now that I'm out I'm just starting to feel normal to be out of the cage. The only reasons are because my mistress wants to see my cock flopping around and second she wants to know what kind of self control I have, so far I'm passing the test.

    I do understand where women are coming from in regards to our self control should be enough. It means more to my mistress that I can tell her I won't self pleasure versus her locking a metal cage over my penis. The cage is definitely fun for both of us but think about it like this... say you have a dog and you're trying to train it. Your ultimate goal is to be able to walk them off the leash and for them to be completely obedient and listen to your commands. This in my opinion is the equivalent comparison to the chastity device. Not wearing a chastity device is the same as being walked without a leash. For some women being able to have their man "off the leash" and obedient means way more than holding a key. It's just a matter of perspective and whose angle your viewing the usefulness of a chastity device from.
     
  4. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Back when I was actively blogging, I wrote something that address this idea. Some excerpts from a rather longish post:
    Consent and Sensibility

    I've got a lot more jibber-jabber to slog through, so I just posted the important bits.

    The point (well, there are several, I guess) is that when you talk about chastity devices vs the honor system, you're really talking about two different kinks, and the two corresponding scripts running in one's head. Those people who prefer devices are kinking on the actual loss of one's own control, while those who talk about the honor system are really talking about an aspect of *self* control.

    Chastity devices need to have some semblance of security (i.e., be difficult to pull out of) in order to maintain believability with the script in one's head; the more secure, the easier it is to maintain the script. To ask a man who is kinking on some cool, sexy, shiny stainless steel chastity device to just "promise not to touch it" is asking him to not just deviate from, but to completely swap out that script.

    tl;dr: apples vs oranges.
     
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  5. LockedDiaperedSissy
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    LockedDiaperedSissy Locked and Permanently Diapered

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    I already know that I could pull my wee wee out of my chastity device, a Holy Trainer version 3. Have I done so? No! For me it's more about the constant reminder that my wife demands that I be locked up. Out of respect for my Queen my wee wee will stay tight in my little pink cage like my wife wants it.
     
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