Salutations

Have lurked here for a couple of weeks, gave in and signed up.

Mistress Watchful, thank You Ma'am for creating such a wonderful resource! (Hope the exams aren't driving You mad!)

Everyone seems so warm, friendly and accepting... This gurl looks forward to talking with all Y/you wonderful people & getting to know you all better.

*curtsey*

michelle
xo

 

Mistress Watchful,

Thank you for a very kind welcome Ma'am!

*curtsey*


Mistress Cruella & sissy michelle.

Everyday i count myself to be one of the lucky people that has found a Lady that i can openly share my life & dreams with. Seeing the joy in Her heart & eyes, as i kneel & offer my unconditional submission, warms my soul.

There are many building blocks to a relationship but Trust, Respect, Love,
Communication and Consent are the foundation of O/ours.

i'm a happy victim of the tag line for this site... "..be careful what you wish for!"


Mistress & i enjoyed a pretty generic BDSM relationship for a few years and it was i that suggested chastity "play". W/we tried it, but Mistress didn't like things getting in the way of Her property... the months went by and chastity fell by the way side (i try my hardest to never "push" things onto Mistress) i figured She just wasn't into it & i respected that. i've always been an advocate of not letting a fantasy or "toy" compromise the Love or Bond between Mistress & i.

Mistress had work to do in South Beach for a few days, so i asked if i could go with Her.. She said yes, i took the time off work, we packed up the "toy suitcase" & off we went... walking out the door, i heard "honey, come help me with this..." i assumed it was figuring out the TiVO, there is Mistress sat on the bed with the CB-3000... "These next few days are going to be ALLLL about ME!" i was more shocked with the surprise resurrection of the chastity device than anything, but She's great at keeping me guessing! (i'm a lucky gurl i know!)

(i'm trying my hardest not to make a short story long!)

i've never been completely comfortable being "out" in the lifestyle publicly (i used to panic & couldn't focus).. three days into our trip i'm naked on a balcony that overlooks the hotel restaurant, kissing Mistress' boots, could people see?.. i didn't care!
i was very surprised with the changes that occured in myself & later that night eating dinner Mistress expressed Her newly founded love for chastity. She LOVED the new tyger!

I don't want this to get misconstrued like chastity changed "who" i was, seeing Mistress' eyes light up with pride from my submission was and will always be the core of my service, if Mistress is happy i'm usually over the moon!

Chastity became a caveat to a grounded, loving relationship.

I rode the usual psychological rollercoaster (obsession, hate, desparation & ultimately accpetance), and W/we talked the good & bad through. Mistress will always listen to input or suggestions but ultimately She makes the call!

Denial ranged from hours to weeks, orgasms were and still are very infrequent, milkings still bring mixed emotions of relief & great frustration. Mistress derived huge pleasure in seeing what She was creating, the control and constant attention i know became an addiction but all within the boundaries of consent.

The chastity was here to stay... i accepted it. It was the toughest mental battle i've ever fought... constantly questioning my own adequacy (though Mistress gave me constant positive reinforcement), i no longer was phsyically intimate, i fell from the alpha to beta to omega role.

W/we love good porn like most couples, but stumbled upon some VERY VERY edgy humiliation videos, wayy past anything we'd ever entertain (i'll spare the details). It sparked something in us both, Mistress did occasionally verbally tease me of my chaste predicament, but never really got into the humiliation. A week passed and it was time for me to be milked (after 5 weeks or so) and i heard the words "if you were a real man i wouldn't be doing this, you'd be fucking me!" i'd say my heart sank, but it would have to be a pretty big iceberg to sink my love for my Lady, rather my ego shattered, in one split second in time, i was broken, i cried, not necessarily from defeat, but more of an acceptance that what She said was the truth. After hours of reassurance that i was simply the most important person in the world to Her, i confessed the rush was intense, i wanted more, Mistress wanted more.
The key for U/us was to harness the power of O/our emotions and be comfortable with O/our roles, it hasn't let U/us down once since because unconditional love is given & received, i KNOW i'll never be replaced.

Mistress needed something i was no longer able to provide to Her, (not to toot my own lollipop but when i was tyger i was not small in the cock department.) but Her love of my denial was stronger than Her desire to have sex with me. She needed an alpha to take care of what She chose i no longer had the ability to do. This wasn't a rush or rash decision, i LOVE this women why would i deny Her something that would make Her happy? i wouldn't!

i'm deliberately omitting the details of what happens, because i don't feel the gory details are important. W/we don't necessarily class it as cuckolding, swinging or polyamory, more of a "fuck-buddy" for Mistress.

CAUTION!
W/we always advise people that Y/you need to be emotionally prepared and stable for Cuckolding, there was a famous case in the late 90's where, Coy Wayne Wesbrook was cuckolded & humiliated to the point that he murdered his wife & the 4 other men in the house!.. Extreme i know, but it just goes to show how intense the emotion can run when taking on this kind of activity!


tyger to sissy michelle.

Before i move on i'd like to voice my sincerest understanding & appreciation to every Lady that spends eternity cleaning, shaving, waxing, tweezing, dying, manicuring & pedicuring their body's... WOW does it take FOREVER!

Feminization is a tool to re-enforce Mistress' absolute control and used to further satisfy O/our penchant for humiliation (yes Y/you read it right.. O/our penchant). i could lie and say i hate it, but i don't, i love it!

Mistress never has done anything in "halfs" its an "all or nothing" attitude, which to the majority would translate to, "if W/we're going to do it, W/we're going to do it right". Education is an important tool for U/us both, knowing what Y/you're getting into has always been a valuable part of O/our relationship and kept the "unhealthy surprises" at bay.

Unfortunately the economy crashed as W/we were about to spend my bonus check on a wealth of satin & taffetta frills for me, and put a hold on complete sissification until W/we could afford to "do it right". Thankfully work has picked back up to a normal pace & paycheck again for U/us both.
Mistress & i will keep Y/you all up to date on the progression of my journey as michelle.

W/we're both looking forward to meeting new friends, expanding & sharing O/our knowledge & life together with Y/you.

-------
I wrote above how consent & communication were part of the foundation of O/our relationship and all the while W/we talked over every step, this is not some commercial porno scripted fantasy, where i was enslaved and forced against my will... W/we're real people, real emotion, real love, real hurt.. its a delicate balance of keeping each other on the edge & trusting not to let each other fall when the path is sometimes VERY narrow!

One of the most important things to U/us is that W/we say everyday how much W/we love each other & i'll let you know, whether that day was filled with the highest highs or the lowest lows, falling asleep in the arms of the person you love will make everyday a new day!


my humble apologies if i ran away with myself, this is not supposed to be a self fulfilling prophecy guised as an advice column.


Now that i've miserably failed to make a long story short, i'll wish Y/you all love & remind you...

"BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!"

(i'm walking proof "you may just get it!")

michelle
xo

 

Rachel,

Thank you for the kind compliment!

*hugs*

 

katrin,

while the thought of being taken out as Mistress' sissy makes my little clitty tingle with excitement, it's not practical due to both of O/our jobs.

my sissification currently is for when Mistress' stud is here to take care of what i cannot, it is to put his mind at rest that there is no competition whatsoever from me. Highlighting my inadequacy & maximizing my humiliation.

One day if W/we made enough for me to quit working, i'd love to stay home & be Mistress' 24/7 sissy.

michelle
xoxo

 

Miss D,

Thank You for Your kind words Ma'am!

*curtsey*

Mistress enforces chastity because sissy's don't get hard & cum, only REAL MEN can do that.

i've asked Mistress if i can start a thread like dolly's here.

When the new pretties show up from superdresses, we'll take lots of photo's to share.

hugs & kisses

michelle
xoxo