Safe Word Denied

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by 613CuckLock, Apr 13, 2019.

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  1. 613CuckLock
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    613CuckLock Member

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    Last night my wife and I were in bed. I was massaging her back and her whole body. I'm 12 days into a 22 day lock-up and haven't had an orgasm in that time.

    I got extremely horny and wanted to be in her so badly! We had also been drinking a bit so I guess I wasn't thinking completely clearly. Then I did it. I used the safe word so she'd release me and we could have sex.

    It did not turn out that way! Instead she told me "NO. You can't use the safe word for that! You are not getting unlocked. That is bullshit."

    This is the first time in our first year of this where she's really taken charge . She's still in bed. I'm still ridiculously horny. And I don't know what she's going to do to punish me. She'll do something I'm sure .

    Of course she had an orgasm with me licking her butt which was very hot!!
     
  2. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Active member

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    Many of us have been there or are there 613Cucklock. That's the wonderful thing about enforced chastity, you don't get to pick and choose when your device comes off. Being denied makes you a better lover for your wife. I bet you licked her ass like a pro and was wanting to do so much more for her. That's the way it should be.
    We all find a way to deal with the over the top urges we get. The trick for me is to focus on her and her needs.

    Yes, you probably need to be punished for using the S word!! :) She just might increase your lock up time.

    Good luck, I know you'll find your path!!
     
  3. R2002
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    R2002 Member

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    Good for your Wife. She did the right thing and you will both benefit from Her taking a firm stance regarding misuse of your safe word

    (I hope this doesn't sound harsh or judmental that is not my intent)

    Enjoy Her control :)
     
  4. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Haha! That'll learn yer! :)
     
  5. Penney
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    Penney Active member

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    Yep! Exactly what I was thinking.

    We were going out to a public event yesterday and I asked my wife if I could be unlocked for the afternoon. Without hesitation she smiled and replied, Nope!
     
  6. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    Good for her and shame on you.

    I hope you've apologized and expressed your gratitude to her for what she's doing for the both of you.
     
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  7. 613CuckLock
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    613CuckLock Member

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    She brought it up and fave me shit. No punishment so far but there is time. she's doing Zumba right now and she said "hey my little bitch. Take this and fill it with clean water!"
     
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  8. R2002
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    R2002 Member

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    Isn't life so much better when our Wives or other KHs only allow us to be unlocked when they want it for their pleasure?
     
  9. 613CuckLock
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    613CuckLock Member

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    So I got it .
     

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  10. R2002
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    R2002 Member

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  11. 613CuckLock
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    613CuckLock Member

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    This is what you get for inappropriate use of the safe word. I'm feeling it.
     
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  12. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I'm a bit troubled by the cheerful support for ignoring safewords. Presumably the safe word was put in place for a reason?
     
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  13. boisub
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    boisub Active member

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    Rather than supporting the idea of ignoring safewords, I read the posts above as supporting the idea that a safeword is way too important to be used so carelessly, and agreeing with @613CuckLock that his wife’s reaction was appropriate.

    He himself admits that he abused his safeword by using it just because he wanted out for sex — ie, not for its intended purpose.

    An appropriate “punishment” for that kind of behavior is just to let the consequences play out. Safeword means full stop, playtime is over, time to communicate and figure out what’s wrong. Your wife should do exactly that: suspend all the ass licking and lockup time and all the rest of the fun until she fully understands what caused you to use your safeword, and both of you are clear on what the real boundaries are. If that takes a while… well, you’ve earned it. :p
     
  14. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I would agree with that. I would not agree with ignoring a safeword or punishing someone who uses one.
     
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  15. Chaste J.
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    Let's not get carried away with ignoring safe words here. Context is key! Sounds like our friend (by his own admission) was "taking the p" to say the least and as a result got his just desserts! :). Now had he been tied to a rack being stretched and his joints were dislocating then that's different! It might be a "lifestyle" (it is for us) but in the end it's still play.
     
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  16. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    Safewords can be negotiated away, but let's not promote a culture where safewords can be unilaterally disregarded or punished.
     
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  17. Chaste J.
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    Agree totally! As I said "context".
     
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  18. jmanque
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    I couldn't have put it better. Ignoring a safe-word is a major no-no in any kind of power exchange relationship. If the OP's wife thought it an inappropriate use, she should have immediately removed the cage, then refused to have sex him. She should NOT have ignored it. There should be no punishment for using it.
     
  19. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 “Maybe I’ll Unlock You at Thanksgiving “

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    The Start of a beautiful relationship.
     
  20. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Active member

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    Terrific reply.
     
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  21. RhiannonT
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    It's not really a 'safe word' if someone can determine if you're using it appropriately or not. Use of a safe word means a withdrawal of consent. There should also be no punishment attached to the use of a safe word. If you have an arrangement where someone can determine how valid/genuine you are in wanting to stop, that's your prerogative, but lets not go around calling it a 'safe word'.

    This argument has happened here: https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/should-a-safe-word-have-a-penalty.31317/
     
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  22. CD_Erika
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    CD_Erika Member

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    Yep. That's how i would view it too.
    Everything should stop, until it's clear, why the safeword was used.
    If it's a justified reason, a solution must be found and no punishment should result from this.
    But if he admits, that he used the safeword just to top from the bottom, i might consider some punishment appropriate.
    Just to show him, who's in charge and that the safeword really means full stop and it's use has a serious reason.
     
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  23. JuneChas
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    I would do the same thing if my husband used the safe word because he wants sex, it would be denied, the safe word is if there is something wrong, not because he is horny. Good for her.
     
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  24. Consensus
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    Reading the thread it would appear that the safe word was respected. Everything stopped and the reason for using it was given. At that point the OP explained and it was clear that the safe word was misused.

    Now, context and relationship means everything here, to my mind. Perhaps the KH .ought to have punished the misuse by going down the line, respecting the use and ending all play but, I think, in this instance it was identified that such a response wasn't necessary.

    That said, the OP has rather muddied the waters. Regardless of context, next time ought to result in full stop, so that misuse of the safe word doesn't become part of the play, that's dangerous.

    For now, based on context, I shall cheerfully agree with the OP's punishment because it seems appropriate given what he has said. But remind him that it ought to have been harsher given how much he must have worried his KH by using it!
     
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  25. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    And maybe he should also have an additional punishment for posting on here about his flagrant misuse of his safe word! Trying to make his wonderful Keyholder look as if she was being unfair! :):):).
     
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