Rules Were Made to be Broken

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Thatguyontheinternet, Dec 18, 2017.

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  1. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    Ruled were made to be broken, they say. Chastity / d/s and rules go hand-in-hand. Now, of course i would never break a rule laid out by Thatgirl. We don’t have many hard rules anymore anyway, just a few expectations that i know she has of me and my behavior. And being the pious, well behaved guy that I am, I follow them to the T, day in and day out, without question or pushback ;)

    But for the rest of you, what rules do you break? And why? Often? Conscious or absentmindedly? Do you struggle to abide by the rule or just choose to break it?

    (And PLEASE, all you super-subs out there just itching for another reason to proclaim your perfect loyalty to your KH and tell us all how it’s all about her and just watching her blossom is enough for you and you would never DREAM of doing anything like I’m describing, and really you don’t even need a a cage... We got it, please. This is a question for the mere mortals among us :))
     
  2. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    The main rule I break is pouting when I don't get my own way.
    I am sure @Mistress Jules could add a few more.
    In my defence I am getting better.

    Mistres Jules has many faults. I have only two, everything I say and everything I do.
     
  3. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Don't get me started on the pouting, worse than a 5 year old he used to be. He is a bit better now, I will give him that.

    Mistress Jules has many faults does she??? Would you like to elaborate, whilst you are 500 miles away???? I look forward to welcoming you home in just over a week.
     
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  4. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    One of our rules is that I go down on her either in the morning or that evening. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. Lately more often than not. Working a night shift while she works days has gotten our routine all messed up. Sometimes it’s on purpose cause when I get my days off I don’t want to wake up that early, then something happens that night that we don’t get a chance.

    Clean up...I try to be as sneaky as I can with this to get out of it. I know I’m supposed to, but if she doesn’t physically make it happen, I tend to turn conversation to something else and roll away from her.

    When we first started, I was supposed to call her Amante and not her given name. Turns out, I don’t really call her by her name normally so I rarely got to say it and even if I did, I would have forgot. This one isn’t on purpose, I just think it was t a very practical rule.

    Of course I’m not supposed to whine for sex, and I don’t really...but I have been known to make it clear how ready I am and try to cajole my way inside.

    I’m a smart ass that sometimes gets me in trouble, not really sure if that’s on purpose, more of who I am I think.
     
  5. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    My KH requires me to ask for permission to watch porn, coming out for cleaning, and any self play such as prostate stimulation. Foundational rules. I break them. Even the occasional pull out and cheat.

    I do it because she doesn't ask and her control of the cage/key/toys can be relaxed and inconsistent. Even spankings noted by my KH are forgotten sometimes. My fetish is not about how long I go or how feminine I can feel. It is about being controlled and put into submission. For me, I want my KH to be engaged in inspecting and securing my compliance.

    Realistically, my KH can give that to me sometimes, but life is busy. And as a submissive I naturally give her 100% of the benefits. So her motivation to spend time doing that is low. She gets what she wants and more. I just wish she knew that she could get 1000% instead of 100%, if she were to setup the accountability and discipline.

    All she would have to do is write down the rules and have me report on my compliance once a week. If any deviation, provide strict punishment and limit access to weaknesses. Forcing PA for pullout violations would be perfect.

    As a submissive on the bottom, I haven't figured out how to tell her this or lay it out in avoidence of topping from the bottom. I do work on self control out of integrity, but I am a mere mortal who enjoyed my freedom before chastity.
     
  6. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    Too funny.
     
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  7. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    The balancing act of all this lies in the reality that when you give someone control they don’t necessarily use it the way you thought / hoped / expected they would. For most of us it’s best to accept that the way the control is used isn’t likely to change in major or lasting ways, and determine if the current state of things is satisfying enough to continue on as is.
     
  8. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    First off welcome back, hope the wedding and honeymoon were fun. We have avoided any real hard and fast rules. The golden ;) rule is she makes the rules and I'm to follow them. That being said she expects that certain things are always done in terms of domestic service. If I fail to do one of those things it is an automatic 5 strokes on my punishment list. As an example I currently have 10 strokes on my list; 5 because she cleaned the Kitchen on Friday night and 5 because she put the trash can out Saturday morning. For the most part when I fail to perform an expected service it is simply a mistake or because I'm overwhelmed and I forget something. It is not wilful disobedience.

    Sometimes I'll mouth off in a non-submissive way, especially when we're in a setting with other people. Nothing radical, just good nature couple poking fun kind of stuff. On occasion when she felt I went to far, she'll say something like "that little remark will cost you 5". If I really annoy her she'll bring it up during the punishment itself. Something along the lines of "You think you're so funny disrespecting me the other night, do you think it's funny now?" Whack, whack whack.

    The big issue of breaking rules recently has been me edging myself with the wand. I've done it since we first started in chastity. The main reason being she just isn't into tease and denial. I felt like that was a big part of this and if she wasn't going to do it, I would. She sort of accepted it, but wanted me to confess to it and put it on my list. Over the last several months she has started taking a much dimmer view of it and refers to it as "jacking off". She has become very adamant that I need to stop and her punishments have reflected this. Still I persisted until last weeks punishment. She was brutal enough that I think she finally broke me of this habit, at least for now.
     
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  9. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    Set time for communication outside the rules of your relationship. Your wife is a mere mortal too and unless you communicate with her, she's not going to know what you're thinking. What worked for us was me keeping track of infractions and submitting a list to her once a week on Thursday morning. Eventually we evolved a suggested stroke count per infraction. She decides on actual punishment at will as she is in charge, but this gives her a framework to judge my weeks behavior on. Had we not communicated along the way, we never would have evolved. Just be careful what you wish for as my wife has evolved into a strict and at times ferocious punisher.
     
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  10. chasteta
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    chasteta Active Member

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    No hard rules really. When we first tried D/s a few years ago we drew up a whole contract and it ended up making the experience frustrating for both of us. We've found that personally a free-form approach works better for us.

    The only strict rule I have at the moment is making the bed. My keyholder really dislikes getting into an unmade bed and I'm to have it made before she turns in for the night. If I don't it's usually because I put it off earlier in the day and simply forgot after that. I'm not into being a bratty sub so if I break a rule it would be a genuine accident.

    Then we have the "obvious" rules like no masturbating, no escaping my cage, etc. Again I have no interest in attempting to break those ones.
     
  11. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    This was meant for Mr. M
     
  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I got one for ya...why do nurses make the worst lovers?.....they always wait for the swelling to go down. :D:p:D I heard that and just had to share.
     
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  13. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. And I agree.

    I was more revealing than usual as I thought would be useful to share the locked point of view on managing and getting more than you want as a key holder. I agree with many of the mistresses that chasity and the kinks desired by the sub are the subs fantasies. And for most KH there is only a few shared interests. However, indulging those kinks will multiply the benefits received from key holding. Whether you are into it or not. The catch is that some KH are just happy with what they have. Which makes your point.

    I guess there are those dominants that play a position as part of a relationship and those dominants that rely on the sub to provide entitlements. It is like being a boss verses just receiving social security. Rarely on CM have I seen posts debating what makes a good KH or the virtues of a good dominant. I am not sure KH or Dominants are interested in a performance review by their subs. Human nature, but the failure of a dominant looking to be get the most out of their sub relationships.
     
  14. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    W
    We talked yesterday. We will trial a confessional on Sunday's. thanks for your prompt. We will see how it goes.
     
  15. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    This is an important one. Yes, our keyholders get to decide what they want to do and may be happy with what they already have. But, IMHO, a smart keyholder knows she has to keep the submissive fuel tank full. In one of her blogs Mistress Ivey writes:
    "You get a sub (servant, slave, whatever) to do all those things you don’t want to do, including all those chores around the house. To get that, you have to keep him sexually aroused and focused on you. That’s what he wants, that’s what recharges his batteries. That’s it. But if she has to work this hard at it, isn’t that sort of self-defeating? If by that you mean that she should have to do nothing and he should do everything, then it won’t work. Both partners must get something out of the relationship, and in order to do that, you have to put something into the relationship. I feel sorry for those women who look at all the sexual attention they give their partner as a chore. It’s not a chore, it’s an opportunity to have fun. At his expense. And it’s what keeps him motivated to do all those other things you want him to do, both for you and your relationship and in your home life."
     
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  16. locked8452
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    locked8452 Active Member

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    The most important rule, and one that Princess strictly enforces is that I keep any expectations I may have regarding unlocking, teasing, or releases to myself. That’s not to say I can’t let her know what I’d like or to plead for release. I just can’t pout when as is frequently the case, I don’t get it. I guess that’s why I find my journal here so valuable. It gives me the opportunity to vent my frustrations without compromising my relationship with Princess who I truly adore and strive to please.
     
  17. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    What a wild coincidence that this thread was revived yesterday. Thatgirl and I took a hiatus from chastity over the past 4-5 months. Around 2 years in the cage with releases at a rate of every several weeks or so by the end, was capped off by our wedding (which i was locked for).

    She released me at the start of our honeymoon week. Several days after we got back she had me lock back up, but She wanted to have a baby, so the cage was coming off and on a whole lot. It didn’t take long for her to become pregnant, and a few days after we confirmed that she was, she asked me to lock back up. I reluctantly agreed. But she really didn’t seem into it the way she always was.

    A week or so later when she asked me put it back on after sex, I told her I didn’t think I wanted to. Though I’d grown to enjoy her dominant side and my more submissive side, the cage had been her idea from the start, and my ability to tolerate it had always been based on her very active engagement. Without that, I knew i wouldn’t do well in the cage. She understood and agreed that I could stay out. I promised that when/if she genuinely wanted it back on that I wouldn’t fight it.

    The first trimester she was super tired, and the sort of emotional sappy softness that had carried over from the wedding & honeymoon was definitely still dominating her mindset and sexual desires. So the cage stayed off and we enjoyed a much more vanilla sex life.

    Fast forward to early this past week; approximately 4 months after i wore it last. We were talking sex and whatever else, and I mentioned that I had stopped in at CM to respond to a message left me. She immediately commented how funny that was, because she had just been thinking over the past couple days that she missed me the way I was when locked, and locked longer term, and that now with energy more restored, she had been preparing to ask me to cage back up. I was a little surprised, but when I got home from work some hours later and she was still on the subject, I realized that she’d already made the decision. She ruined a couple of Os in the shower just for fun, and when we got out and dried off, confidently handed me the cage and waited while I put it on.

    It’s going to take getting used to again for me for sure. But it seems like she’s already happy with her decision and whatever my competing feelings toward the cage, I certainly won’t pretend this resurfacing of her much more assertive self (sexually and generally) isn’t a welcome and arousing turn of events.

    So with all that happening over the past few days, I check my email and see something I haven’t seen in quite some time - a notification of a post to a thread of mine. Quite the coincidence, and I think a sign that I need to prepare for all the challenges that life in the cage has always presented me with, because she seems surprisingly serious and committed given she just allowed me to spend months and months Cage & submission free.

    Idk how much I’ll be floating around here, but certainly more than I have been since December I should think. So hello again to old acquaintances :)
     
  18. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like normal service is restored! You've done what she wanted by getting her pregnant so its only natural to be back in the old cage. Enjoy. And congratulations on your forthcoming addition.
     
  19. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    Welcome back!
     
  20. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Active Member

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    I was reading Thumpers twitter posts in the last few days where he said he was having a break from chastity, after almost 10 years. Some people were responding with comments of regret for him. No. If a break is the right thing for you, then take a break. Good on both of you for doing what feels right at the time, sounds a good deal all round, take a break, have lots of sex, get pregnant!

    It will be interesting for both of you to see if her dominant mood continues through the pregnancy and beyond. All the best.
     
  21. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Well-Known Member

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    Get pregnant? Sorry I was just being thick! Had an image of Thumper being pregnant! :eek:
     
  22. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    Glad I could be of service. Wink wink.
     
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  23. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    After all, if she doesn't need anymore it why should it be unlocked? Have a nice pregnancy!
     
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  24. Her Dividend
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    Her Dividend Junior Member

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    When the baby comes, that's going to take an enormous amount of time and energy from you both. The demands will remain constant through about age 4. Kinks during this period will be taking a back seat -- and you'll steal them wherever you can. Hopefully you have a good network of family support - that helps tremendously. Good luck and I hope it all goes well.
     
  25. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    Actually, I sort of found the opposite: babies and small toddlers are insensate and small enough packages you can haul them anywhere and do pretty much anything, but once they get older, say 4 and up, you're life is shared with them and intimacy becomes catch as catch can.
     
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