Roles of denial

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by HT89, Nov 9, 2019.

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  1. HT89
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    HT89 Member

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    Well after a good discussion tonoght, it was a good learning curve of what a KH/Dom and me the locked/sub roles are again, I do feel opem discussion helps ten fold on where we are, where we want to be and how to get there.
    I so found out the investment of my KHs part on the chastity side which shocked me, so it re affirms my love and devotion . KH just made me do things for their sexual gratification without my own purely to assert the role again. Yet I'm happy about this and I feel I shouldn't be as I have not ejaculated? Normal?
     
  2. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Normal for a chastity kink, yes. Enjoyment comes in all styles, so if you're happy, that's all that matters (beyond your KH of course).
     
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  3. HT89
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    HT89 Member

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    Good to hear. :)
     
  4. Happilymarriednerd
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    Happilymarriednerd Sph messages welcome

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    I get more pleasure from satisfying my Goddess than I do ejaculating, which is nice because I rarely get to cum, but I get to pleasure her often. You're in a good spot
     
  5. Sthsde_cd
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    Sthsde_cd Member

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    i feel the same way but don't have a goddess
     
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  6. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Active member

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    My keyholder/Dommes belief is that dick is the greatest impediment to service. To serve her, I had to quit dick like a smoker quits cigarettes. This has led to an amazing journey so far, and I've learned a lot about myself, changed a lot, and discovered a lot. She is not very sexually motivated, but enjoys massage, intimacy and sadism. I provide the first 2 and submit to the last one. There might be more sexual contact, but for her, that's how she defines the roles, by having me denied and learning to live locked and denied, for her. For her, and for my wife, who supports my relationship with my keyholder (we are all very good friends outside of kink) they greatly enjoy being given pleasure, without having to give back any in return. Like you've found, there is an increasing pleasure to be found, in having the roles reinforced, and in giving pleasure, without any expectation of having your own. Eventually, giving becomes so much more fulfilling than having.
     
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  7. Inchastityforher
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    Is your wife and KH in partnership with your control?
     
  8. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Active member

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    Sort of. My wife likes me locked and chaste, but hasn't been into keeping me that way. My keyholder/Domme is one of our best friends that I've known for over a decade, through the kink/bdsm community, but she's someone who has/had become one of our regular friends too. My wife lets me serve her, and she requires strict chastity/denial. When we are all out together, everyone is respectful of each other, and we are pretty "vanilla". There's no 3 way anything, or the 2 women plotting my suffering...as hot as that would be. Still, my wife has been in the loop fully on the progress of me serving, from bottoming and light chastity, to submission and full denial. She even agreed to restrict me to wearing the strap-on for sex, so my keyholder could cut me off sexually, but as my wife, she does have veto over it, and the right to use me sexually if she really wants. It's all a balance, but it's important in a semi-poly situation, not to get into risking overstepping bounds and hurting feelings.
     
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  9. Inchastityforher
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    Sounds like you have got a very understanding wife, your certainly lucky that’s for sure.
     
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