'Role Play' Vs 'Everyday'

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by wannabe slave d, Sep 12, 2013.

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  1. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    At last I have something to report, but our 'session' on Saturday night has actually prompted me to deliberate a bit on how to proceed in future, and also to ask the opinion of the good folks of CM.

    My GF isn't especially dominant or particularly interested in chastity, but she knows that I am and occasionally she will indulge my fetish. It was my birthday at the end of August, so last weekend was the scheduled date for my 'present'. I'd been anticipating it for weeks and was more than a little excited. Nervous too though, as previous sessions had not always gone according to plan.

    Anyway, after her son had gone to work at about 9pm on Saturday night, I went upstairs to prepare myself. First, I took a Viagra, before locking myself into my CB6000 and onto the shaft, I placed our Ann Summers vibrating cock ring, with the 'bulb' part attached to the underside of my shaft with an elastic band. I then inserted a medium sized butt plug. I fastened myself into our 8" strap on, tightening all the straps and pulling everything into place, which had the effect of pushing my chastised cock up between my legs and therefore, the vibrating 'bulb' part of the cock ring and the butt plug were gently pushing on either side of my prostate.

    So far, so good. I then attached our velcro fastening cuffs to my wrists and ankles, also attaching lengths of nylon with which to attach me to the bedposts.

    I pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms over this lot, the big cock hanging loosely down one leg, a t shirt and pair of slippers, then went downstairs for my final indulgence, a glass of wine and a nice big blast of strong weed from my pipe. I've always used grass as an aphrodisiac, the sensations can be mind-blowing, and mixed with the Viagra, and the vibrations of the cock ring, things were definitely starting to stir, to say the least.

    My GF then came back upstairs with me and tied me spreadeagled to our bed, inserted and fastened a ball gag, turned up the control of the cock ring to maximum and turned on the DVD I'd put in the player, which contained my favourite scenes from the amazing Maitresse Madeline.
    She then left me, to go and prepare herself.

    I was starting to get very hot and bothered by this time. Stoned, locked up, plugged, gagged and immobilised. With the Viagra, the cock ring and the divine MM all doing their thing. The excitement and anticipation were almost unbearable, and this was just what I'd wanted and dreamed about all these months.

    When my GF returned, about 40 minutes later, she looked stunning in lacy black underwear, hold up stockings and high heels. My cock was straining in the CB6000 as soon as I saw her. However, before long, things started to go off the
    boil a bit for a number of reasons. She'd said in the past that she didn't feel comfortable being given a 'script', so I said that was fine, and in fact, one of the reasons why I introduced the gag for this session, because I didn't want to be 'topping from the bottom'
    However, as she admitted later, she still felt a bit self conscious. Although I knew she couldn't just transform into my fantasy Goddess, there was a part of me that somehow felt that things would somehow 'click into place'

    She made a comment along the lines of 'Nice to have a decent sized cock for a change' before lowering herself onto the strap on, and for about ten minutes or so, I was in heaven.
    Unfortunately, this didn't last and she got off and went downstairs to have a cigarette.

    By the time she came back, I'd been tied up for almost two hours, and I was really struggling with cramp in my left arm and the gag was really digging into the sides of my mouth, having been fastened too tight (I'd only bought it a few days before and had only briefly tested it).

    I realise how this sounds. Like I was being a brat and complaining about small details. I'm sure there are many subs who contribute here who can endure far more discomfort.
    At the time, it felt like the erotic bubble had burst a bit, plus my GF still wasn't really 'feeling it'

    I was disappointed but relieved when she released me. We went downstairs, but already the tension had lifted. She no longer felt under pressure to perform and I had started to get a bit of circulation back in my limbs.

    I was glad to get another glass of wine and to refill my pipe. The smoke really hit the spot and reminded me that I was still locked up and plugged, with the cock ring vibrating away.
    This change of scene was an unexpected development. We were our 'normal' selves again, laughing and chatting, but always with an undercurrent of sexual tension. After all, she was still in her lacy underwear and kept moving suggestively and observing my reactions with amusement. It all seemed a lot more natural.

    Soon, we cranked up Spotify on the laptop, which is connected to the stereo speakers and soon she was dancing to 70s funk and disco classics for me, as I shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
    My cock was swelling to it's full capacity in the tube and my prostate was getting plenty of stimulation. Soon, I'd forgotten my disappointment at being untied, especially when she reminded me that there'd be no release for me tonight (I'd not cum for two weeks at this point and my balls felt like tennis balls)
    My fantasy Mistress was emerging and appeared to be enjoying herself. She started to comment on how much she was looking forward to feeling the big cock and before long she did. From behind, for a good half an hour or so, reaching behind to grab my balls, as my poor little winky strained against the tube.

    Eventually, we got into bed and we kissed passionately as she used her Rampant Rabbit vibe on herself.
    I've never experienced such delicious frustration as I did when she came noisily, as I bucked my hips uselessly and moved the plug inside me, desperate to cum. I really felt as if I could push myself over the edge, but it wasn't to be. After removing the strap on and plug and getting cleaned up, I had to immediately massage her buttocks until she fell into a contented sleep. It took me a long time to do the same.

    Sorry for the long winded post, I just felt the need to get it down while still fresh, but I also wanted to ask people if they'd ever experienced similar feelings.
    Can the 'ritual' of it all feel a bit forced for some people?
    Is it better to feel more relaxed and natural? I suppose when subs are locked full time, everyday life just goes on and 'scenarios' happen more spontaneously.

    Thanks for reading this far, I'd be really interested to hear the views and experiences of other CM members.

    Respectfully, slave d.
     
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  2. kaligod
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    kaligod Miss Ever
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    Great post! My husband and I are still feeling this out as well.

    I have one caveat at the risk of being labeled "the bondage police" and with the disclosure that I do a lot of hardcore rope bondage - it is never a good idea to leave a tied person in a room alone for any amount of time - especially when they cannot communicate. It is also the responsibility of their partner to check in with them regularly during play to insure there is no numbness or tingling associated with nerve injury. <off soap box>

    To make this short - I get the impression that though you had agreed to "no script" perhaps she was a bit intimidated still because of the setting because this is your idea of how/where the fantasy should be. It was easier for her to feel comfortable and sexy after you went downstairs and relaxed. After that point what happened and HOW it happened were up to her.

    It sounds like you two are communicating well and having fun with it. She may never "transform into (your) fantasy Goddess" but she may just become the Goddess you happily serve. Give her a bit of time. She has treats in store for you neither of you have imagined yet. If your birthday was any indication, you may fit this into your daily life quite nicely.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. Guest 2914
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    'Roleplay vs. Everyday' is something that my better half and I are currently experiencing some issues with.

    It's the age old ' Fantasy vs. Reality' - it's about finding the balance. We've yet to master it, but the important stuff is there and through time we will learn and grow.

    In my opinion, a balanced person places their kinks as a percentage of their sexuality; their sexuality as a percentage of their person; and their being and well being of those around them as the entirety of anything that matters. You and your good lady will find what works... Forcing things doesn't work - letting things happen does.

    In my opinion, of course. To each their own.

    All the best!
     
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  4. toyness
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    toyness Active member

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    Well said Kaligod and glasgogogo. i agree that communication is key and time will tell. Give your Lady time to evolve and find her stride as well as communicate with her and hopefully everything will mesh together into a wonderful life of serving your Goddess
     
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  5. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    Thanks for the replies folks, much appreciated. Kaligod, you're absolutely right on the issue of a bound person being left alone. I was posting on my phone, in bed last night while my other half slept peacefully beside me and was aware that I'd already spent a ling time on the post, so I skimmed over a few details, but I did think of that.
    I actually had my phone connected to the charger, with the cable tied loosely round a bedpost, so that should I need to I'd be able to pull it up into my hand to call or text, which is what I did before my GF came up and released me.
    Glasgogogo, your comments regarding a person's kink being only a percentage of their being etc. are spot on.
    I've been with my partner for 12 years. 'GF' sounds a but casual, but she's not really my Mistress, we're not married and in fact I only moved in together about six months ago. This was down to a few different reasons, she had two sons still at home, She had a dog while I had cats etc. but I also now see that some of it was down to typical male commitment issues
    Anyway, while I still had my flat, I spent a LOT of time alone, indulging my fantasies, smoking huge amounts of weed and watching hours and hours of fetish porn, whilst either locked up for hours or just wanking myself silly. Then I'd go to hers at the weekend and have 'normal' sex, all the time, wishing we could be more kinky.
    All of this changed about six months ago when her Dad died after a short but serious illness. It was clear she needed me, so I decided to 'man up' and finally move in. It's pretty much the best thing I ever did and it's made me realise that I was in danger of not only damaging my physical and mental health with the constant smoking (now I eat healthy, go to the gym 3 times a week and only smoke at weekends) but also of dissappearing down the rabbit hole marked 'kink'. It was like, the more time I spent indulging, the more I wanted to and the more resentful I felt because I wasn't living 24/7 as a cuckolded sissymaid or whatever.
    Now I feel as if sanity and perspective have returned. As well as my fitness regime, I've been spending more time with with my first love-music. I played my first gig for 14 years a couple of months ago, justfor fun, and I'm working on getting a home 'studio' set up, once I've made some space for my pc and my musical gear.
    I'm happier than I've ever been, and whether I'm being 'alpha' and giving it to her hard from behind (which we both love) or locked up and going down on her, I've learned that variety is the spice of life! :)
     
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  6. MissMira
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    MissMira Active member

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    To me it sounds like she can never be you dream goddess, for one reason only, you call the show.
    Give her som space to grow in, let her try to lead!
    She will first 'love' it the day she really try to be in charges, and not a part of you build up fantasy.
    -MissMira
     
  7. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Ok so as has been said leave any body in bondage is a recipe for disaster phone or not. You could have choking fit dropped phone dropped dead especially as you were gaged.

    So all the drugs viagra wtf .
    Is your gf not interesting enough forget all the stuff .
    Make her the centre of attention and attraction.
    Onec she feels like being wanted then start bringing out a toy or two.
    I just can't work out chastity and a viagra
    Look after your lady first then and only then add bits in .
    Xx wendy
     
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  8. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    Wendy, with respect, mind your own business.
    I didn't post this thread for opinions on my 'drug use'.
    There have been threads on Viagra/chastity before and it's actually mind blowing. It's a one off, so keep your 'wtf' to yourself.
    I've smoked weed fir 20 years, I can't see that changing, and again, it can be mind blowing. Have you tried it? If not, butt out.
    It's quite rude of you to suggest that I don't ficus on my lady, you don't know the dynamics of our relationship.
    The intention of this thread was to ask people about the difference between a ritualised 'session' as opposed to a more everyday approach.
    I'm quite happy with the rest of my choices, thank you.
     
  9. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    I had responsibility fo a large drug reduction project.
    One of the key issues was for a drug that is not supposed to be addictive why people can't give it up and indeed runttheir lives round it.
    I have seen the torment and ruination of lives and relationships that it causes.
    Therefore I do have reasons to question why anyone needs drugs to have fun .
    I reiterate my position . Can't you just enjoy your lady for who she is .
    The use of viagra by some on who uses other drugs at the same time is a real risk .
    Using bandage and gags whilst taking drugs again big risk of choking and death which can occur in moments indeed if you drift of due to the calming effect of the drug you might never ever know you were asphyxiating .
    Yes its your choice but BUT if for the reasons out lined you die .your gf will be at a minimum be charged with manslaughter but probably murder .
    Tell me that is a good reason for you to mix drugs and bandage for your pleasure .

    Wendy
     
  10. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    'Drift off'? Yeah right.
    'Wouldn't know I was asphyxiating'?
    This is marijuana we're talking about, not rohypnol.

    Did you read my follow up post?
    Yes, I used to smoke too much, but I changed
    my lifestyle and got things in perspective.
    I use drugs recreationally, when I choose to.

    Like I said, I posted here for a specific reason,
    not for a lecture from Ned Flanders.
    As I said earlier, butt out.
     
  11. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    You post on an open public forum and ask for comments on a proposed course of action. .
    Therefore why are you surprised when opinions are forthcoming.
    I have no idea why you reference a cartoon character.
    I think it is generally accepted that we all play safely and look out for each other.
    I think you are not , so I suggest caution , if for your self you reject my advice so be it. However the fall out for others if it all goes wrong can be catastrophic .
    Remember others read what you have posted and whilst you feel safe rightly or wrongly, how do you know someone else trying out your ideas has not got a undiagnosed heart problem . There are many cases of sex games going wrong , so we play safely .
    Wendy
     
  12. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    I take responsibility for my own actions. Others need to do the same.
    'Consenting adults' and all that.
    I knew the risks. I didn't and don't care.

    I wasn't asking anybody's opinions on my 'drug use', that's my business.

    Now, as the kids say these days, "whatever".
    Bored of you now. Bye.
     
  13. subklik
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    subklik Office Girl

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    Might be time to cool here and get back to the friendly place we are known to be.
    Perhaps PMs would be better??

    Thanks.
     
  14. wannabe slave d
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    wannabe slave d Junior Member

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    Ok, sorry if I offended anyone.
    Reading it back, I was quite rude'
    Maybe I was annoyed because I so rarely get to post any real life experiences on here and it felt like my bubble was being burst.
    I'm still genuinely interested in hearing any views on my original queries re: 'Role play' etc.

    Apologies to Wendy and anyone else I may have offended.
     
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  15. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Hiya I take no offence from anything you said you believed in what you said a fought you corner well.
    You weren't to know I have lost friends to drugs and I have had to sign off money to pay for pre teen !! Alcohol and drug prevention ! Let alone the adult stuff
    I only want you to be able to play tomorrow and next week and next year.
    I have known of a close friend who had it all go horribly wrong and it was a nightmare.
    I also have never used drugs in sex I am excited enough by the situation when and what ever.
    So just play safe and enjoy your playmates and live to remember the fun together.
    Xxx hugz wendy
     
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  16. subklik
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    subklik Office Girl

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    And I love everyone!
    I swear this place is just like "The Walton's" sometimes.

    Just need a grampa and a "John boi".
     
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  17. 2inch
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    2inch chasity,its for my own good

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    drugs, unless kids are involved or causing tax payers money , do as you wish. im complety clean.as my job requiresme to be so . 10+ years. lets let god judge
     
  18. xcitedsisssy
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    xcitedsisssy cd/sissy michelle

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    Agreed, enough said
     
  19. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    We was all cool and happy .
    Xx wendy
     
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