Results of Post-Punishment Day.

I don't fault you for that concern at all. The very first time we saw a chastity cage it was at a sex toy shop. We have made relatively regular trips to the "toy store" since we met. Trying the cage was no different initially than any of the many, many other things we've experimented with together. The fact that she took to it so much surprised me, but we were both having so much fun that nothing else mattered. I'm a big believer in "if it feels good and is fun, go for it". That it's come to be such an integral part of our relationship has a lot to do with how strongly she came to feel about it. The couple of times more recently that my doubts have raised to the level of me talking about getting rid of the cage, her reaction was genuine and emotional. If she wants this this much, then unless I was genuinely unhappy with it, I wouldn't end it. But we have always had a VERY active and experimental sex life.

IF your wife is attracted to chastity, but lacks the general zest for sex and kinky exploration, I absolutely don't blame you for being VERY hesitant. I've talked often about how I would not even consider continuing to wear the cage past that initial "fun new thing" stage if all it seemed to be was a way for her to prevent masturbation and / or avoid sexual intamacy.

There is NOTHING that gets me hotter than when she surprises me. Period. When she demands I endure some sort of punishment or funishment or degrading act, or even just pleasure her in a way that's demeaning or objectifying to me, and does so completely out of the blue, it makes me feel SO good. Even if some aspect of what she's demanding of me hurts or is uncomfortable. The fact that she has surprised me reminds me that she loves this. That's it's on her mind at least some percentage of the amount it's on my mind means everything. Just like it matters that she cares enough about the rules she makes do notice when they're broken and follow though. If that weren't happening, if she wasn't making at least the effort to make sure my predicament continues to increase her pleasure, I would be concerned. I've learned that the more intense her arousal is, the more I can endure to provide it to her. And in turn, I'm learning to take my own enjoyment from that endurance. Without all that fun learning and exploration, the cage would get stale FAST.

So I don't blame you. If you think that she would let things get stale fast, then why start.

The other thing is, being a KH is hard work sometimes. I can tell. If the expectation is that she keep you entertained at all times, it will get even older for her even faster.

 

@Thatguyontheinternet, congratulations on getting over the hump per se. Part of being a "real" man, is realizing that to be loved is to give up and in to the woman you love. Think about running a 5K, 10K, marathon. Does it pay to have an attitude or to fight back? No, you throw everything in and you execute an "all-in" mantra, and it hurts. It hurts a lot. Understand for her to step up and be aggressive to these levels, it is a fight internally to her that as us guys will never understand. Most (but not all) women want to nurture, love, and take care of a person, so to actually push you with pain (which guys need to drive to the next level) requires a tremendous amount of love since there is an initial barrier which she must drive over, understand, and come to deal with

@Thatgirl, let your man be that "Chris Pine" side kick from Wonder Woman. His showing of how deeply committed to you is by taking everything you can give out. Embrace what you are feeling, learn that a man shows his greatest love when he gives everything over to his mate 110%. Let him show you how much he can take, and by strengthening him you also strengthen yourself.

Thank you again for sharing, I am interested to hear how things progress (or not if you want to keep things private).

 

My BF usually ejaculates when I take him across my lap. I use this to my advantage, though. After all this time, he still associates getting dressed up like a girl with sex, so he still gets hard when I dress him up. He's always dressed when I discipline him. I enjoy watching him eat his ejaculate. If he ejaculates during discipline, he has to eat it, then he's punished for ejaculating and the discipline for his original offenses starts again. Since I enjoy disciplining him, when he ejaculates it extends the disciplinary session. I think it's also why he lets me do this. Yes, he wants to please me, yes he wants to give me an outlet for when I get mad at him, yes, he lets me use it to take out my displeasure at him looking at pornography and masturbating. Little boys just love to ejaculate and will put up with almost anything to get to do it.

For a while now, disciplinary sessions always bring tears, but he still ejaculates while he's across my lap and bawling.

I never have him pleasure me before a discipline session. While it was hard for me, at first, I forced myself to make him spend time in the corner before calling him out to pleasure me. Now, though, I take pleasure in keeping him in the corner, especially in 6" heels.

Some times I'll make a deal with him to let him reduce his chastity time or the severity of the discipline. Most of those deals increase his humiliation such as people I know getting to watch him get one. Sometimes I'll use it to get him to do things he's safeworded out of in the past.

He fears the Brown Spanking Paddle. When I tell him to fetch it, he's even begged for extra chastity instead of the Brown Spanking Paddle. He doesn't like chastity, but he knows it's part of the price for displeasing me especially when he looks at pornography. If I tell him to fetch the Brown Spanking Paddle, though, he's going to get it. I might lessen the number of strokes in exchange for extra chastity, supervised masturbation in front of my friends or sissy maid service to me and some of my friends.

I'll make deals, but he's going to get the discipline that I've decreed in some form or another.

It's funny I always felt in control and sure of myself at my work, but never in a relationship. Introducing chastity, physical discipline and feminization to our relationship has made me feel that way for the first time, ever. I noticed it the first time I gave him a spanking and it is still there. Feminizing him makes him docile and submissive to me. I don't know if he would've gotten across my lap the first time if I didn't have him dressed up. I always dress him or make him get dressed before any disciplinary session.

That describes me and BF. I introduced all this in our relationship.

 

M and I don't do punishment. No spankings. The idea excites me but not enough that I've asked for it. I might well find that I don't like the pain and it is not sexy. There is some discomfort that is sexy and some discomfort that is just discomfort.

M has presented me with a set of rules for romance. She wants me to do romantic things for her. I try to be a good partner at all times but am not big on romantic gestures. But M wants these so I try. When I fail to make any romantic gestures, next time M has me tied up for sex she may observe: "No romantic gestures. I don't see how I can allow any penetration or pleasure." Her punishment is to deny my any sexual stimulation! That is all that I need. Next day I'm hop-hop, what is something romantic I can do for M? What can I do to make her feel inclined to give me pleasure?

She has my number in this. It is a very effective punishment-reward system. She gets romanced and I get some stimulation.

 

Elle and I are in a transition phase where she has begun to realise how real this is to us, and understand that I need help. Personally I am struggling with the demands real life is throwing at us and because of stress I am less able to be respectful to her. I don't mean to snap at her, but it happens. What is different is she isn't putting up with my bad moods.

In the past she wouldn't have said anything.

I still haven't had a chance to show Elle your two threads about the issues you were going through and punishment, but I still intend to. Those real life issues have got in the way for three weekends in a row and the one rule she absolutely sticks to is we only discuss the deeper aspects of our relationship on a Saturday. It doesn't mean all communication has been shut down, it is just kept to an amount she can cope with.

Thanks for keeping this discussion going.

 

Wow. All this time.... I just now realized your avatar is not a pot of soup with a Holy Trainer sticking out of it. *Palm slaps forehead*

 

My KH and I haven't done spankings. She's just getting used to having the keys...and seems to be enjoying them immensely so far. She likes playing with them in front of me so that I can see and hope that she's thinking of unlocking me. She doesn't. She doesn't live close to me, and I only see her a few times a year. She has expressed an unwillingness to spank, which I would love, but has said that maybe her friend that does live near me would like to spank me. I said, no, I would only want her to do it, but I don't know if she might decide to let her friend know about my chastity and submission. Kind of scary but kind of.....you know?

 

I hope things settle down for you guys soon. Seems like whatever it is has had you guys pretty spun up for a quite a while now. Hope it passes, and I hope it settles out favorably. It sucks to be stressed long term, and I know first had it can really distract people from their relationships. And, given Elle's slower, more cautious approach to all of this chastity stuff (you'll excuse me for the observation) I can see how such a big outside stressor would really put a damper on things, which can only be extremely frustrating for you.

I don't always take the time to respond to posts like I should. Just wanted you to know I've paid attention.

 

I really appreciate your thoughts @Thatguyontheinternet , it says a lot to me that you have noticed how long this crap has been going on in our day to day lives. The end game plays out in August. If it ends well for us then the past year will finally be over. It all started last June, so yeah, long term stress sucks. It's also impressive how you have noticed Elle's cautious way of approaching chastity and the FLR, no excusing is needed. It's true, she has taken things slowly, but her approach has been the key to the success. Pun intended.

 

Read through this. Your description after your initial punishment time is quite beautiful. It sounded very sensual and yet strict. I have to agree punishment is a conflicting item in our journey as well. Still learning we have not embraced punishment in our lives. We have discussed the subject yet my loving wife has not administered any punishment to date. I feel that it can truly curb into something sensual an a relationship builder with proper communication.

 

That was, to date and by far, the most severe punishment of any kind she's ever meted out. For the time when this was fresh I dare say I actually behaved better.